Friday. Yesterday....I wasn't expecting the January 6th thing on television. I wasn't expecting to go thru that again (I don't watch the news as I used to). It blindsided me. Hard. Ripped open things I had covered up...... the ugly people. The hate filled people who think "others" have taken things from them.....things "they" feel they deserve because ...why? That's my question..why??? Who "deserves anything"......it's been my experience that I have to work for the things I "deserve" (in my own mind).
"You have to save yourself".
This post will be shorter than usual. I do not have it in me to write anything even remotely- of interest. My mind needs to be flushed of the ugly hate I witnessed again. Like the Septic Tank. Pumped Out.
I am reminded of why I stay at home.....of why the grocery and library are the ONLY places I go. Of why the only one I talk to on the regular- is you.....and I don't even know who "you" is anymore. Strangers.
I have books to pick up at the bookstore- two came in. I am ordering a few more.
Husband wants his sweatpants to be hemmed up. Daughter wants her garden pants mended. I want to curl up in a ball and sleep for a few weeks............or at least stop crying.
Heating oil delivery. $844.00. Happy that I have the money to pay the bill. And perhaps I will buy more baked chicken and make more chicken salad.....sigh.
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