Filed Notes- Saturday September 23rd- AGAIN

 Huge Emotional Family Thing.

Husband is home.  Possibly a mistake but it seemed like the right way to go.  The rehab was far away- daughter working  (she took this week off) and I am still not driving- and would NEVER drive that far or that fast.. for 40 minutes one way......Everyday like I did when he had his heart attack in 2004.  I was so much younger then.

His hospital doctor said it was the right way to go....we talked about it on the phone and then he sent over release orders. (to the desk on husband's floor.)

He is coughing quite a bit- wasn't at hospital. (air might be drier here)  Doing word search on the couch. 

Daughter rolled all the carpets and made a pile of them.  Moved furniture to clear spaces for walking. I made up the bed in the guest room as it is easiest to get in and out of no chance of a slip on wood floor- as it has carpet.   And he has the walker to pull up on.

Cross the street neighbor loaned us her walker (from the time she had surgery) and also a toilet frame that G can pull up on and also helps steady him as he sits.  He's on the couch doing Word Search puzzles.

Mistake or right thing to do.......we'll see but not having visitors......that's the deal breaker for me.  Being alone.  I know the staff was very pleasant and cheerful...there was that.....

Field Notes- Saturday, September 23rd. Moving Day for husband. Not home......

 By accident- on the worst choice of day possible- I took husband's clothing home- the stuff he was wearing Monday......and today when they transfer him- he won't have any clothes to put on.

He'll have eyeglasses and hearing aids.

It's almost 9am and no one has called the house.....so..

Sam hasn't come by or called as yet....she has to mark all the clothing with his name and then pack his suitcase. 

I went and got the newspaper, the front lawn was littered with broken tree branches over night or during the week......I tossed them into the "not grass" area.  The Lawn Mowing People did not come. Yesterday was their mowing day.  Hasn't been mowed.

I actually ate food....a dinner- here at home.  Watched some tv and went to bed.  Fell asleep right away and AGAIN woke up at 4am.  Did not go back to sleep.  I tried. But it never happened.

This is what happens every night so far.  The not going back to sleep wears me out.

Telling him he wasn't coming home yesterday- gutted me.  His face.  I wanted to say- forget it- get dressed and we would bring him home.  I knew in my heart that would be a huge mistake....so I kept it to myself. But I have been crying non-stop since.   I think how I would feel.....being sent to "somewhere" to stay for "some time" and maybe after that come home.  Maybe.  The key word here is Maybe.

Well. I need to have breakfast.  Daughter called and was all  "ALL" with me so it wasn't a great call.

She knows where the place is located now....same long drive there.   But I can start asking neighbors for a ride.  They are wanting to be doing something to help.

I just want.......what?  It can't be over.  It is just beginning............so, I guess I wish it never happened.  We never called 911.  We took him to his regular doctor and got antibiotics for the urinary track infection and  who knows how that would have gone.

I am so tired.  So sad.  So tired of crying.  

Don't Know What Notes- Friday, September 22nd. The end of one thing and preview of another.

 No pictures-  It's been a really HARD Day.  

We had to tell him he wasn't going home... thinking about how he looked at us- breaks my heart. We had ordered him dinner- I doubt he ate any of it.....

As we packed his suitcase for tomorrow's move to the place he's going- I can't remember what it's called. I remembered- Clover.  Auburn, Me. 

They will assess whether he goes forward- home or Assisted Living.  Five to Six weeks.  It got a Five Case Manager YES rating from Sam's former coworkers.  She also started a Case File on him- for her own peace of mind.

So.....I can barely see the screen- crying so much....we stopped at Target and bought him new shorter sweatpants.  The ones he has are too long and are an accident waiting to happen.

I have some items that needed to be washed (before packing) in the machine.

I should eat something.

Sam will pack the suitcase in the morning.  After she writes his name on all the clothing.

I need to eat......watch some tv- I haven't read a book since  Monday.  That's how bad this is.

Field Notes- Updated and Still Friday September 22nd.

 A night photo from my Master Gardener Friend Patty.  An RN.  We talked for a long time last night.

That picture above the stove is a painting of a little house that I made for her..... she calls it the Happy Home Painting.

Daughter contacted her friends still in Social Work.  We are waiting.  Hospital is calling our one choice form the list and a new choice.....not on the list.  Fingers crossed...all of you.....that they have a bed open. And that hospital will keep him until they do have a bed open.  So many old people in the state of Maine....we are most likely whistling in the wind.

I started this second post because I wanted to send all of you this picture of the Happy House.....the way I used to be long long ago before I knew any of you.   I want to get back to being that person......I want that.

Now I need to find someone to attach a fold down shower bench to the master bath wall.   So, eventually husband can come home.

Field Notes- Friday September 22nd.

 No photo.  Yesterday he was in a brand new room- a single and the Palliative Care person was sitting next to him explaining everything.  But after I had a long  midnight phone call with my friend who is a nurse and went thru with this with her parents.  Both at the same time  She has straightened the information out.

Let's just say my Life going forward is just completely SCREWED.

I took a very long and hot shower this morning.  I am wearing red linen pants and a red multi colored plain shirt.   Can't miss me today.  No idea if we are going anywhere today. (I am NOT going anywhere right now)

I am eating breakfast.  I will get a Starbucks coffee in the.....nope NOT GOING TO HOSPITAL TODAY.

He is being FAST TRACKED and moved to a Skilled reHab...like in 5 minutes and we have to choose one. What a SHIT way to do things.....One was a definite NO the second was a ride into Portland and back everyday- NO-  so we have two in Lewiston-  One near a hospital where one of daughter's old co workers works -in adjacent hospital. Daughter contacted her and is talking to her now....  Our insurance covers Skilled Rehab.

He has to go to one of these before he can come home.  And I have to have the walker and the shower chair attached to the wall before that happens- I am guessing they send someone to "make sure".

My RN friend finds all this weird.

I call it "cover your ass so you don't get sued".

So they (hospital) is very eager to get G out of the hospital and into that "skilled rehab".   Daughter has a call in to some of her Social Worker peeps.......one has just called her back.  Now...we discover if our first choice has an opening.  All this having to be done as FAST AS POSSIBLE........ I HATE a RUSH JOB. Especially as it's a LIFE here we are talking about.

My community area has NO SKILLED REHAB.  So...... could my Life get more stressful?

This is a real time post......daughter's social worker friends have given insight and we have THREE HARD NO WAY IN HELL places and ONE OKAY and ONE REALLY GOOD  but not on the list place.

Hell on Earth.  Hospital is making calls....see if they have an open bed.   If not daughter will call back to see if he can stay until a bed opens........The tension in my back and neck...so so bad.

Field Notes- Thursday September 21st. 7 pm.

 Think Report.  

So...we walked in to reception this morning and asked about his room number.   Daughter thought it would be better to know the worst on the ground floor so we could walk out fast.

When we left yesterday he had a fever and sounds in his lungs no one was happy about.... and had more people in his room than I though could fit.  An all hands on deck blaze.

I waited at home for the call that he hadn't made it.

Walked in this morning to a new room (reportedly the best on the floor)--a single with wide screen tv and a full deluxe bathroom.  He looked better than he has in years.  Not allowed solid food or liquids.  Applesauce. Ice Cream. Yogurt. Period.  Nothing that could get sucked into lungs by accident. I'm certain he will manage to do it anyway.

We found the Palliative Care rep talking to him (excuse spelling) and explaining the difference between a "Natural Death" and a "DNR".  He has now chosen the Natural Death.  A late birthday present. For me.

So Palliative Care.   Rehab.  Assisted Living.  Period.  Just like that.

A friend is looking for a walker and a shower chair with arm things to hold on to....I am at a loss for words.

Daughter took me out for a "Pub" dinner.  Deep Fried Pickles, A Cheeseburger and Fries. I admitted I haven't eaten anything but half a bowl of oatmeal each day....today I even had a Starbucks coffee. Not even my Birthday Dessert.......

We'll be driving back to the hospital again...tomorrow. And the next tomorrow etc. etc. We left him doing a word search after reading a woodworking magazine.  Bright and cheerful and on point. Drugs????

I have leftovers of the Pub Dinner in the fridge.  Fries and Pickles.  And Cheesecake Bites dipped in dark chocolate.  But not tonight.  Tonight the heating pad..... and early to bed. I am whiplashed and exhausted.

Field Notes- No Pictures September 20th 10am.

 Yesterday daughter called Triage Nurse at husband's primary care doctor.... He had fallen again that morning slamming hard into the closet doors and then slumped on the floor in pool of urine.

Tricky getting him upright...and then into shower and then dressed.

Daughter arrived with belated Birthday Treats.  Thank goodness.

She used to be a Social Worker......not a  Gardener.  

She Social Worked.  

Called 911 and gave them a heads up of what they were going to find.

Took four of them to get husband down the front steps and onto the gurney without him face planting. It's like he has no idea where surfaces are......the ER tested (imaging) for brain malfunction. No results yet. Well, there may be results we don't know about. Yet.

The firemen looked at me in amazement.....how had I managed......yes...let's consider that.

So...he finally got a room well past midnight.  (we were in ER since noon)

We got home around 1am.  One cup of bad coffee from an ER tech.  Daughter had her work lunch with her. I packed for today- drinks and energy bars.

I had a load of wash in the dryer and one in the washer because he had wet the bed- I had to put sheets on the bed......so very late when I fell into bed.

I woke and wondered where husband was........it's like my mind erased the day. I was getting up to go find him and see what had befallen him......  It all came back.

It all just came back.......how had I forgotten?   Well, I have his real eye glasses for today.. Charged up iPhones....hearing aids.  Word Search Puzzles if he wants.  

And a Fresh Notebook and pen.  Not Washing Machine Pages... this notebook will start with the 911 call and record it all......  I might not be doing this much writing in future posts.....or I might.  I have no idea of what my Life will look like going forward.......not a clue.

Field Notes- Monday, September 18th. a Very wet Rainy Day.

 So, finally I get into my blog account.  It's been a real CHORE today.

My flowers (from my sister in law and I think my brother also) are very very beautiful.  Very NOT FLORIST looking.  Wild and just picked looking.  Lovely.

I snagged two slices of cheesecake for dessert.

Long call from our Son in California......we made some decisions.  Some really wonderful and some really hard ones....I cried a bit.  Moving van will arrive ...here.  

I am going to ask daughter if she wants a paying gig of organizing the Attic Storage area and moving things and sticking labels on everything.  So we can find what we put away.  We'll empty the the sewing room.  Try and find the guys who did the floors.....get then up there to do a bathroom and the floors.

And do the kitchen floors and we will choose a new stove together.

The BEST EVER BIRTHDAY GIFT.  My boy is coming home.

So......I might take a nap.

Field Notes- The Day After Nothing Happened. No Hurricane. Sunshine today.

 When I grew parsley in the herb garden....yes a specific garden- herbs like a dry crumbly soil- I added sand and some small rocky bits.......I would wash and roll the parsley leaves like this, freeze in a heavy duty plastic bag- like the one in the picture.....  then slice off what ever amount I needed...with the same knife you see here.....I could have taken this photo in my house.  My cutting board looks the same as well. And my rubber bands.  I loved seeing a photo (on a food server) that could have been taken in my kitchen.

Rule #7- Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than the real thing.

I imagine quite a lot of things each day......and they are hard to bear.

My brother emailed from northern Georgia during the "hurricane" here in Maine.  We had wind gusts... that knocked a lot of acorns off the trees....the sun came out often.  It rained a bit. And was for the most part...just a wet windy Maine Day.  94,000 lost power on the coastline. Not all in Maine.  I kept him notified and then we signed off.

Today it's like it all never happened.  Husband is already napping.  He got up, dressed, read the paper and did his word search puzzle........now he is napping.  The bruise on his forehead looks worse.  He says it doesn't hurt- I applied Arnica to it.  He read the Sunday paper and then asked if I was ready to do the Monday grocery shopping.  It's like that......here.

The Sunday Grocery insert has a two slice cheesecake being offered.....with whip cream and strawberries. I think I will buy this tomorrow.  I was thinking Tiramisu.  If they have that in small servings- I will get one or two.  The Universe Provides.

In years PAST.......I would have a pot roast cooking in the oven.  I'd make mashed potatoes.  Cole Slaw.  Gravy. And have that for the Birthday Week.  Not any more.  I was the ONLY ONE eating it.  And I don't know why I stopped cooking.......you should cook for yourself......I should.  But I stopped.....and that is a real shame. I have a feeling most of the women reading this don't cook.......I know Paula does. Who else out there still cooks????

Field Notes- Saturday, September 16th. Windy. Not raining.

 So..we went to bed thinking the hurricane winds would knock out power.  We're still up and running. Knock Wood.

It's windy but not the howling wind of a hurricane.  Yet.  If.  The Twins are out on their battery operated vehicles. Using them in ways they were never meant to be used.  One example the motorized racing car is pulling the wheeled cart (for the garbage can) with a boy riding on the back. I checked to make sure they both had shoes on.  I was told to report them if they passed by bare footed.  Shoe Policewoman.

Husband tripped and fell on the porch steps - while out getting the morning paper...I was asleep.  He has a large red welt on his forehead.  Last time- years ago- when he did this- on an ice covered step- he hit his mouth.  And wow....just wow regarding the amount of blood.

He is now taking a nap.  He read the paper and ate breakfast in between so...I am not worried about him sleeping.  You know- Concussion protocol.

It's darkening up....so it might start raining.

I found a Library offered web site-- I wrote down hundreds of romance titles going back to 2013.  Some I had read and forgotten but most of the titles were new to me.   I used to read Murder Mysteries and Thrillers.  I moved on to Romance later in Life.  I missed out on so MANY BOOKS.

Well, sounds like my cup of coffee is ready.....gotta go...

Field Notes- Friday, September 15th. I've been married 55 years today. I'm the only one who remembers.

 I had no flowers on my wedding day- I have none today. I don't even wear a ring.

I finished reading a strange but wonderful book yesterday.  A young woman who was born a boy and a man who was born a girl.  They meet.  They pretend to be a couple.  They fall in love. Things do not work out. Then......all hell breaks loose. American girl and French guy.   Chef's Choice by TJ Alexander.

Today's calendar quote: Don't spend time brooding over sorrows or mistakes.

Spot on for an Anniversary of the day I made my biggest mistake. Really.

Well, tomorrow the hurricane arrives......but the Sun is shining right now and not even a tiny breeze.

I actually have nothing else to say or write.....  another phone call (yesterday) telling me how to Live My Life.  I am getting very very tired of this........do they show up in person?  No.  I'd actually appreciate them showing up and doing something to make my Life easier......... even bringing me a sandwich or taking me to lunch.

I have a load of wash to do- took a shower this morning.....husband had gotten all the faucets screwed up in the shower......took awhile to get water to come out of the overhead.......what was he doing????  Next time I will tell him to leave the water running when he is finished.

I found a spritz bottle of body spray I used to use. (in the guest room closet).....lovely stuff.  I am sure it is no longer made.  I'm sure the store that sold it is no longer in business..  About and inch or two left.... I spritzed myself.

Field Notes- Thursday, September 14th. Lots of rain yesterday- today sunshine and humidity.

 Same artist as yesterday...... Paul Balmer

I covered the containers in the rain yesterday.  Got soaked.  Really soaked.  When I covered them- late and in the dark- before bed- everything was difficult.  But I keep going.

Today's Rule to Live By--- Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously.

A friend called me today........gave me a list of things I should be "doing"........... I think the rule should read don't take what other people say to you-- too seriously.

Saturday.......that's when the hurricane Will or Will Not Hit Maine.   When the above ground power poles will hit the ground and take forever to be repaired.   

No one reminded me that I wanted to get a generator installed.  

Oh well. too late to think bout it now.

I had tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and Balsamic yesterday... I didn't like it.  tossed it in  .....the compost bucket.  In fact, I am not really enjoying the garden fresh tomatoes at all.......even as a BLT.

Daughter brought over a jigsaw puzzle she found at the Town Dump- a Coastal Dump.  We don't have one in the city where we live.  Got to be one of the same Towns by the ocean.  When I read Nantucket books they mention the Town Dump.  A lot.

I seem to have 14 emails....going to see what that's about..... perhaps have......I don't know what to eat.

Field Notes- Wednesday, September 13th. RAIN. Umbrella and Raincoat.

 Paul Balmer- Abstractions.

I exited my bed....rather late today.  I was sad.  It feels like a sad day.  Rule #2 in the 12 Rules to Live By.

"make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has sorrow."

I wrote them on my desk calendar to share here and I forgot..... I also read the paper, ate my oatmeal, took my pills, uncovered the containers in the rain- which has now stopped, the fat bees are back on the big pink flowers.  Our dear friend from the years in Germany is safe in Morocco.  She wishes the country was getting more Aid.

 We watched Men's Soccer- Scotland v England.  I admired their haircuts and beards. The stuff of Rom Com novels.  I also paid attention to their posteriors as that is also mentioned in Rom Com's ....Soccer Butt.--especially in the Boyfriend Candidate- which the local bookstore had ready for me on Monday.  Boyfriend checked off haircut, beard and butt in that book. His cologne was also "cedar plus"...that is also treading in romcoms.  Cologne with cedar plus something floral or herbal. 

Husband was confused by the game- I said they are just trying to kick the ball into the netted goal thing.

So.........not much else.  I am reading a new author-   Meghan Quinn.  Kiss and Don't Tell.  A young woman runs her car off the road in Banff and the closest house is a big one full of Canadian Hockey Players. One of them- the Goalie- likes her and she likes him.......for now..It isn't going to work out. I'm at the half way point.  I read one of her more recent books,  but can't recall the title...I just sorted thru check out slips but can't find it.

The cover is rather... off putting....in fact the three books I ordered are all outside my usual choices. But. we have to go outside every so often...just to see what it's like. And books can be returned unread.

Field Notes- Tuesday. September 12th. Rain- could expect a Hurricane to hit us. Later today.

 Things outside are wet.  Uncovering the largest container- really large- and always  at least one very fat BEE under the netting.  The very wet netting this morning. But I released the BEE.

My oatmeal has beeped and the pot heating my coffee water has shut off......I can't sit here too long.

I slept but ...I saw an image of 911 yesterday- even thought I try not to see them.  But I did and it took me back to that day.  The Silence of the day.  The images before I left for work at the Library.  The Silence there.  The church bells.  

I try NOT to see the images.  I saw the first tower burning- the second plane hadn't arrived.....yet.  so I hurried to change the channel.  The Heavy planes from Europe landed in Bangor.  The ones too far along and with little fuel left.......to  turn around.  Bangor...a retired naval air base with a long runway.  The base just next to my house almost......the runway too short for these heavy planes.  Otherwise- they would have landed near us.  Fighter Jets land here.   It didn't come to that.

9/11 comes first.  Then our anniversary and then my birthday.  In a straight, tight line. Forevermore.  Seven Days.  I have tears running down my face.....I have nothing more to say.

Field Notes Monday, September 11th. Clouds, Humidity. BOOKS!!!

 I've always wanted a Sundial.   There is just something about them.....

Well.  The day had a wiggly start but now we are fine.  Husband wanted to fill his two week pill box and didn't have enough of any of his pills.......I had a note on the empty bottles so...I hoped I had called in the prescriptions......I had.  So now we are calm. (and the pill boxes are full).  Doing Word Search and eating ice cold grapes on the sunporch.  

I bought myself dry apricots. Basil. Fresh mozzarella. 

I am having significant discomfort with my right hip.  I don't know why.  

I bought bacon to make BLT's.   And the ONLY way I remembered BACON was I walked past the gal who grew the tomatoes. And she said her sister sent her out to buy BACON.    BLT's.

I finished reading the Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston.  She also wrote the Dead Romantics.  The Seven Year Slip is really good.  

After the Library I walked down the street and around the corner to the bookstore.  And picked up books I had ordered. And then the grocery and now back home..... along the way- I walked around two very fine  young men using excavator equipment.  On the way back I asked if they found what they were looking for....they busted out laughing and said they "didn't find anything" and were very happy about that..

So easy now...to just talk to nice looking men....I bet it was just as easy years and years ago...but I didn't even try........

Field Notes- Sunday September 10th. Rained overnight- in the high 70's. Comfortable.

 So.......a random image from the image file.  This could be from Kim.  I imagine she and David having a set up like this in their office.  At home. Working side by side.

Tennis.  Sigh.....I tried to be interested.  But the game was dull. Perhaps because the two players were tired or bored.. And the camera angle was too high?  And because of this...it seemed too far removed...so lacked the energy and emotion of other tennis matches.  Certainly nothing like the men's match the day before.

Then I watched House Hunters with professional  (mostly football players- retired) looking at houses. One pair was fun- he was still very athletic looking (and young) and she was a petite lawyer.  They had one million dollars to spend and needed two deluxe master suites as they "did not" sleep in the same room.

For the remainder of the retired sports guys.......I did not like the houses they selected.  

My cross the street neighbor emailed to say she would be happy to share half a loaf of potato bread from a good bakery with me.   So I could have a tomato sandwich.  So I had a delicious tomato sandwich.

And that was Saturday.......  This morning the covered containers were very very wet.  I am doing something at night - I wake up with the right side of my neck muscles all tight and aching.  I spend the day trying to relax them.......this morning my right shoulder is also involved.  Sigh.

Field Notes- Saturday, September 9th. A wet morning. Rain overnight. The Grass is happy.

 

Sleeping is better now that it's not as muggy.  A bit of sunshine is coming thru the heavy tree line. The grass was very wet as I walked around to uncover the ornamental pots.  The tall one with sunflowers fell over in the wind......it's recumbent on the grass.  Top heavy.  So rescue is not going to work...stems will break.  Compost seems the place for it right now.  but I could cut flowers for a vase....

I asked for a reference from my "just across the street neighbor" for the name of the company that replaced her roof shingles........our roof needs new shingles.  Our "usual" retired.  Sigh.  Or drifted out of Maine during the pandemic....never to return.

My Southern Gardening friend- a transplant to Maine from Virginia- dropped off a box of very very delicious looking tomatoes.  I will be eating them..... they are ripe and ready.......

I started watching last night's Tennis.  Then husband came to sit next to me and watch.  For some reason- rain?- it was indoors, roof closed etc. And hardly anyone in the audience was paying attention.  Tom Brady was there with his three children.  The camera crew spent more effort on trying to get good shots of the "celebrity" audience.  The camera angles for the tennis- subpar.  But we stayed until the end.

Field Notes- Friday, September 8th. No Breeze, No Sun, Rain is predicted. Not as hot as yesterday.

 I wanted a picture of a big FAT bee........but I don't have one.  The Bees congregate under the netting I put over the ornamental containers at night.....to keep the deer for eating all the plants..... I have to be careful or  one will sting me as I remove the clothespins that hold the netting down- the BEES are under and attached to the netting...buzzing.. really big, fat bees.  Where were they when my fruit trees needed pollination???

When I was a teenager I often stepped on bees as I walked across the lawn.  Baking soda in a paste and applied to the bite would lessen the pain and swelling.

Tennis today.  The AWFUL man is playing today.  I can't stand the sight of him.

News...what is happening here in America?  Is Trump a Russian Troll? What happened to the Supreme Court?  Everything is upside down and turned around.

The fridge is full of really good things right now...and I have no appetite.

I soaked husband's greasy, oily (his skin) pillow cases in very hot water and Dawn. In the kitchen sink. I will run them thru the washing machine when I had a load of clothes.

Husband and I watched - on repeat- that convicted murderer in Pennsylvania- climb the wall and up over the top to freedom.  The news people said he had some "rock climbing experience".  Looked like MORE THAN SOME.  And what was he doing walking around?   Shouldn't he be in a cell???? All day.

I am reading a book about a woman who meets a man in her apartment seven years in her past...... Ashley Poston- her first book was the Dead Romantics......a mortuary worker falls in love with a ghost. It's a bit tricky right now....figuring out what is past and what is present. Page 65.

Field Notes- 9am. Up VERY EARLY. Husband has had a SHOWER. I'll be doing laundry after breakfast and the paper.

 Red Sky in Morning- Sailors take warning.

These Days- red sky means Canadian Fire is upwind of us.  Tell me....why is Canada on Fire? Why are the Canadians letting the fires burn????  We don't get much information.

So...if the smoke gets to Maine-- we will be indoors until it's gone.  Doors and Windows shut tight.

Husband has had a shower.  All is right with my World at this moment in time.  He's clean.

I stripped the sheets off the bed....fresh ones after I eat my breakfast.  I have both window AC units going. It is that warm and that humid here in Maine.  For most of the Summer- I haven't had to use the AC units much.  They have run 24/7 the last few days.

I will also be doing at least one and possibly two loads of wash.  I have "household tasks"........ so I am feeling "useful" today.  The fridge is full of FOOD that only needs to be put into the microwave and heated... so that is pretty fantastic.  Yesterday I had a flatbread filled with reheated Pulled Pork, Cheddar Cheese and Sour Cream.... Very Fine Meal.  I was tempted to make Pizza- but AC units.....so no.

I went back in and finished the book I was reading-- Planes. Trains and all the Feels.  By Livy Hart. There were issues.  With the book.  For me.  And others reading it--as the author had included  one of those warning things.....elements not suitable to some Readers.  These elements were okay for me- in other books the warning had me putting the book back on the shelf.  For me the issue was the pacing of the book..  It got slow and dull (working on issues) and off track and I stopped for a few days and read something else.  I went back and I am glad I did.....I have so MANY CHOICES for what I read next.....

Daughter swung past to pick up her gallon of Oat Milk she forgot in the Porch fridge.  As she was leaving she slowed her car, got out and snapped a picture of a Chickadee sitting on a tall rock by the front of the driveway....for her Instagram......she also dropped off I book she found for me (at Walmart).

I asked...but she said they didn't have the very small Air Fryer she wants me to own.  She also instructed me on how to cook dry pasta in the microwave.  I also have a package of small potatoes I am supposed to bake and then smash and bake some more......... learning (or not) new things......

Field Notes- Wednesday, September 6th. Cloudy and Humid- Might have rained overnight.

 Leaf Art from the blog Something in my sidebar.

Last night I finally went looking at medical web sites...for memory loss.  Progressive Memory Loss. Alzheimers timelines.......  we are halfway.  Husband is half way in Alzheimers.  I can no longer bury my head in the sand.....hoping...well, it's hopeless.  It really is hopeless.... He is all the way in Progressive. Checked every box.

And it's moving faster now......each day I can see the LOSS. I can see change. None of it positive. 

Today I will attempt a shower.   Get him into my shower as there is a low threshold.  In his bathroom, he has to step into the tub--I think it is now too dangerous for him to do that.  As he might fall and hit his head.  My shower was meant for access by wheelchair....but also walking....  I may need to find a chair for him to sit on.   He is now starting to smell.  I was thinking ahead when they did my bathroom. But I was thinking of another heart attack......not this.

I don't think he remembers how the shower works...he knew a few months ago.  Now he doesn't.

I checked off all the gradual symptoms.  All of them.  He has moved thru all of them.  I cried. He has moved thru all of them in a very very short period of Time. Though, looking back....he has been failing to process and think clearly for a few months now (even years).  If I think about it.....I wasn't paying attention.

I am supposed to be using a calendar to keep him current.  Help him stay engaged with people.  (he never was- has no friends of his own), find ways for him to be active- everything makes his back hurt. Feed his curiosity with crafts/puzzles etc.   He is doing Jumbles and Word Search plus the coloring books. But IS NOW coloring with the same three pencils....on every page.  He has hundreds of pencils.  No Field Guides being used.  The Botany side of things is not being used anymore.  We bought Botanical Coloring Books last month.

So........we moved at the speed of light yesterday.........and now all I can hope for is that he goes to sleep and doesn't wake up.  It would be the kindest way for this to end.   For both of us. 

Getting batteries in his toothbrush...was painful to watch.  And now that I have the smell in my nose- everything smells like pee.

Field Notes- Tuesday, September 5th. 80 degrees and very humid.

 So.....another day.  It's been stressful.  And the weather has been hot and humid. I filled gallon bottles to water the planters....husband never dragged hoses out of the basement....I didn't remind him.

I wrote checks for the bills I had on the table and dropped them off INSIDE the postoffice....not in the driveway mailbox.  Which are being targeted by bad people stealing mail.

I went past the post office as I walked down the street, around the block to the Independent Book Store. I picked up three books.  Beth (the co owner) said that Rom Com books are trending steadily as one of the most popular types of book right now.  I mentioned that the Library Resale Shop is going to have a bookcase for them...after calling them GARBAGE BOOKS for years.

People were asking for them.  Pathetic Old Nasty Women running Library Resale Shop. Noses up in the Air.

So......I have recipes from the internet for Avocado Ink- pits in the freezer. stored there for Years!!!!  And Acorn Ink- acorns all over the lawn and driveway....Big Winter Coming????

That's about it from here.......bought meatball dinners for husband and now he says "I don't like them". He liked them two days ago...Not now.  He was stumbling around in my sewing room- looking for batteries for his toothbrush.   Could have fallen and hit his head.  Batteries have never been kept in the sewing room.  Batteries are in the left hand drawer right here in my desk.....Always and Forever.

Today is NOT A GOOD Husband Day.........I finished off the 60% less salt potato chips.

Field Notes- Monday, September 4th. New Neighbors in number 5.

 I walked down to congratulate the moving van guys on getting the van into the driveway @ #5.  Our street is narrow and the edges aren't paved (sand) and...well, they deserved a big WOW!!!  And I wasn't the only neighbor to walk over- turned into a regular Block Party minus the refreshments.  I am already on speed dial for landscaping help....."someone"- not me--- spilled the Beans on me being a Master Gardener.

A baby in 2 months and a 2 year old ...so......fantastic NEW neighbors.  And I absolutely LOVED the Tennessee soft accent.  Especially as ALL the new the men were really tall and good looking........made my DAY!!!!

So...Labor Day.  And I postponed grocery shopping until tomorrow.  I woke up a bit dizzy.  I wasn't dizzy out talking just now but when I got home I was.......what is THAT about?????

So. perhaps the house is too warm?   I had a nice shower this morning and breakfast.  Uncovered the ornamental containers...shook out the bees.  Watered....filled the water bottles.......etc.  Finishing my coffee and then I will choose a new book.  Runaway Groomsman was as delightful as always......I need to choose a new one from the stack.

Daughter has STILL not come to pick up her gallon of Oat Milk.  When she is lazy she gives new meaning to the word.

Field Notes- Sunday (actually sunny) September 3rd. My oatmeal was actually very good this morning.

 Leaf Art- the snipping of a leaf with tiny sharp scissors.  I am gob smacked.

Thank you to Something blogger for always having Something interesting...beautiful...funny....etc on her pages for me to enjoy and share with you. (sidebar)

She widens my World View and makes me gasp in wonder........ for more than ten years and fewer than 20?

Yesterday.......is over.  

Today- fresh start to a new week.  Grocery will be available to us tomorrow but Library is closed.  I am thinking I will wait to do them both on Tuesday.  I have NOT run out of anything. Well, husband is out of yogurt.....but he'll have to struggle thru a whole day without it.  I could share one of mine with him..........hilarious.  I would have to add candy to it.  I could add sprinkles to the vanilla one. Sure.

I have a full basket of dirty stuff to wash today.  I might scribble a bit in the Washer Machine Pages- the new notebook needs a new name......as the new washing machine flies Solo.  I don't need to supervise.

I am reading a golden oldie- Runaway Groomsman.  His former girlfriend marries his best friend and he is forced to be the Best Man.  In the midst of their vows he gives them both the finger and runs down the aisle and into his car- drives north and ends up in a bar in Canoodle.  Where they serve Breakfast for Dinner and the owner likes very sharp knives..  He gets very very drunk......wakes up in the rundown motel next door.  And..the romance and laughter begin. Also some tears.  There's an old grandfather with dementia. Alz. 

So That's What I Will Be Doing Today......reading.  I have a prepared supermarket dinner of Orange Chicken and Fried Rice and a Dove Ice Cream Bar to look forward to....... Life Is Good.  Be Sweet as they used to say in Georgia when I lived there.......I often wonder what they say nowadays.

Field Notes- Saturday, September 2nd. Gas in the car, New bookstore, Groceries in a new store.

 The Path Not Taken?

Daughter showed up and figured out the gas tank lock- inside the car not on outside (security?)  She mentioned bad characters doing damage to cars thru gas tank......new to me.

First the gas.  She paid inside and was worried about Holiday increase in gas price.  $40 to fill. That was okay.  Then the new Barnes and Noble bookstore (just months old) and the section full of RomCom books. I chose a nice stack of books.  They did NOT have any of the ones I ordered at the independent bookstore (the owner called to say three had already arrived- more after the holiday) so all the ones I bought were new additions to the Rom Com Bookcase in my house.

Daughter and I noticed bad driver behavior.   Not stopping at stop signs etc.  Saturday?  People from Away?  Daughter also had to put up with steering wheel placement and seat height....Her  father's car. Husband sits high with steering wheel between his knees it seems.  I think it hurts for his arms to be high on the wheel.  I got used to the high seat in every car we ever owned and I had to drive.  The steering wheel is something "new".

I found the frozen cheese Pierogi at this grocery so I have that to look forward to.  I also bought Bran Flakes-trying their store brand.  Daughter found a gallon of Oat Milk (our regular store had none this week).  I got a prepared Chinese meal- Orange Chicken and Fried Rice.  I also found large cans of Marzano Diced Tomatoes and a few other things new to me, which I have forgotten.

I apologized to a woman in the aisle where I was sightseeing the products.....I told her I was sightseeing in a new grocery...she laughed and said she was actually a TOURIST also.  Like a real one.

A good day.  We have gas.  And yesterday I transplanted the potted tomato plants into the very old and very fertile compost fenced area.  The compost is very very nice (I have made compost back there for 20 years....) and it was very black and moist.  I think the tomatoes might decide to live and thrive for another few weeks.......lots of infant tomatoes on each plant.  the plants can grow over the side of the wooden pallets. Four of them making a nice structure to fill with compostables.......vegetable peels, tea bags, shredded paper, coffee grounds and soup I didn't want to eat (laughing)...  a good day.

Field Notes- Friday September First. Sunshine, Lawn Cutting, Oatmeal and Coffee for breakfast.

 We've had this before but the picture file is really lame right now.  Got to WORK on it. I can NOT send pictures to my desktop or anywhere.  I can't TEXT.  I had to use the house phone to call daughter's CELL. We need GAS in the CAR.  Sigh.  The Gas Warning Light is on.

Also my sleeping is way off due to the amount of bright MOON shining into the bedroom windows all night.  I can't fall asleep.  And then I do fall asleep and it's suddenly morning and I am so TIRED. My right shoulder blade aches. My neck hurts.  Tension.

I am a quarter in on two books.  I don't want to finish reading either of them.  I dislike the characters in one and the print in the second (which is a good book) is so small and faded...my eyes are giving out reading it- Trying to read it. And 80% of the Rom Com readers are my age.

We have had this image of "the loaf".   My picture file is dismal.  My apologies.

Grass is being cut.  Friday is the day.  Thursday was an abnormality according to my neighbor across the street..  Seemed okay to me.  I sent the guy an email with the name and digits for another old woman who can no longer cut her own grass......damage in her right shoulder from who knows what...can't pull the cord on the walk behind..  I had trouble with that years ago when I regularly cut the grass. Because my husband was NEVER HOME.

Now he is ALWAYS home.

My EATEN planter seems even more pitiful today.  I can fill the open spaces with the contents of the two large clay pots- (leftovers from original planting) or I can use contents of container three that no one sees (its on workshop steps). Empty that pot.  Which seems like a messy but better solution.  The plants I would transfer are big and full. So would fill the deer destroyed area.  How much of September will be used???? That is the question.  I will be the one emptying the pots and hauling sifted soil-less mix to garage. Then hauling containers over to the space where we store them for the Winter.

All SORTS of People OFFER TO HELP.  Twenty Four /Seven.  None of them SHOW UP.....see this is the key to getting help.....the actual showing up.....which rarely if ever happens.   The LAWYER has already invited us to Thanksgiving Dinner. Twins Dad. And he comes unasked to carry and set up the big wreaths on the front porch....and take them down.  We never have to ask- well, we did ask a few years ago- now he comes all on his own to do the work....he also walks his snow blower over to clear the driveway.

Listen up people........just show up....do the work and go home....don't say "let me know if you need anything" and walk away.......JUST SHOW UP. Cause the other way...it gets real hard.....trying to fend for yourself.  And real lonely.

Field Notes- Thursday, August 31st. Sunshine. Blue Moon last night. Raining most of yesterday.

 Ring Nebula.

Is there anything on Earth as beautiful as the stuff in Outer Space????

So.  Rain. Relentless rain yesterday. And last night the Blue Full Moon.  Like daylight in the bedroom all night long. I found it impossible to fall asleep with all that light in the bedroom.  

I am thankful for Rain.  A few Summers ago- we got very very little and the grass went yellow.

So I am tired, my neck aches, my shoulder aches, I'm tired........so tired.

I tried my best to eat actual food yesterday.  The book I am reading is very good but the print is very light. very hard to read.  This is happening more and more- the very pale ink.  And the tiny print. These are books I want to read but probably won't finish........ Ink....saving on ink.  Every so often about ten or so pages will be fully inked......then we return to the barely there ink.  I do not buy these books. Ever.

So...tired, sore neck, tired eyes.  Cranky.  I am like a two year old needing a time out.  Or a nice place to nap with my blanket.  Or just screaming would be nice. But too tired for that.

How are you?  On this final day of August in 2023?  

What are you Doing.  What are you Eating.  Reading?  Watching?  Wanting?

Field Notes- Rain overnight. Visit from a neighbor and a big fluffy white dog. Lunch with my Friend.

 The picture file is getting culled.   I like the poppies in this image.  My grandmother grew poppies. so I have liked them since I was able to walk.

Yesterday I had a delightful lunch and so much conversation.  We had wine.  Another couple came into the restaurant at the same time and the hostess thought we were together.....we said no but then Nancy said- next time we'll sit together..... and I imagined that we would.

After lunch I asked for a favor- to stop - it was on our way back home- at the independent bookstore Gulf of Maine.....I had photocopies of the books I wanted to buy.  I haven't stopped in....since I stopped driving... so well, he had the day off so I explained myself to his wife and showed her the photo copies etc. and she was bemused......I was going to say perplexed...but bemused sounds more what it looked like.

Sometime he gets the books in a week to ten days.....we'll see.  He'll call. Or she will.  these are library books I want to OWN so I can read them any time I want.......in the months and years to come.  Like having a pantry filled with stable food for a pandemic.

We were visited later by the Twin's father and the big (very big) fluffy white dog.  The Twin's dad said the dog stops and begs to go down our driveway to visit us -every time they walk past.  The dog was bred to be a service/therapy dog.  He "feels" the need to come visit us.......... How about that?  Incredible. Husband loves seeing the dog....he sits close to husband while they are here...until he smells chipmunks.......the dog- husband can't smell much of anything and certainly not chipmunks.

We got a call from our sister-in law- widow of husband's younger brother.  She was cleaning her fridge and recalled that it had been quite awhile since she spoke to us.......I was one foot out the door for lunch.....and I knew talking to husband would be a waste of time for her. (if he remembered who she was)....she is going to call back.  I am lucky to have two very thoughtful, kind sisters in law.   My brother and his brother chose wonderful women..  I don't think I qualify...something I need to work on before it's too late. I don't call....I write long letters....which they both love getting.

Field Notes- Tuesday August 29th. Clouds in My Coffee. Rain is Possible. Lunch Date.

 I am tempted to try this again.  Baking a loaf of bread.  Husband won't eat any- says the crust hurts his teeth.  I don't need to be eating bread.

Yesterday, during the North Carolina college shut down news......I sliced zucchini and set the slices and some olive oil in a pan on the stove......let it BE.  It browned nicely over Time and I topped the browned mess with two slices of mozzarella.  Waited for it to melt and then ate it.  Very decent "cooked" lunch.  And I actually used the zucchini I had purchased last week......I had been considering a Zucchini Bread recipe.  Which was, I am remembering, pretty good.  I did not.

I still have two tomatoes to eat.  

There is a large fat BEE that is usually under the protective netting in the morning.  The big planter by the steps.  I uncover the plants and the bee is not amused..........I try and shake him or her off the netting.  Less amused.  Confrontational.  We do this every single day.

I am picking the spent yellow marigold flowers.  Letting them dry a bit in the house and then breaking the bottom of the flower open and exposing the flower seeds.  White and black threads.  then I allow them to dry completely......a few weeks....I intend to grow marigolds next Summer.

I am going to LUNCH with my neighbor today.  We are BOTH very very happy to escape out homes and husbands.  She also has a son in law...from Hell.  So,,,,we talk about him a bit.  While we drink wine.   My new library books have a due date in three weeks- which is my birthdate.......So.  there is that.

Field Notes- Monday, August 28th. Rain overnight. Bees. Low Blood Pressure

 

A great name for a bookstore.  My blood pressure is really low...I am waiting for it to return to semi normal before going anywhere.  I've eaten..that usually helps.  Sugar.  Helps as well. I will ask to have my blood tested in January.  When I have my appointment.  This is "normal" for me on a Monday Morning.

Bees under the netting covering the containers.  Bees who are annoyed.

I heard voices out back.....in the woods by the walking path.  They sounded close.  People have actually walked on the path that leads to our house and emerged from the woods.......UGH!!!  Not today..but in years past......when we had the dog.....and I let him out the back door to chase them, barking.

His Yard......so, it was intense.

They ran. He ran.

The grapes are still not ripe.  September I hope.  I used them one year to make a dye bath for cloth.  The most incredibly wonderful BLUE. I think it was a huge basket from my friend patty- spoiled grapes. I should ask her to bring them again....

That's all.  Jacksonville yesterday.  A messed up kid that no one thought to get to a doctor. I have always thought the parents needed to be charged. When this happens. I would feel responsible if it was my child

Field Notes= Sunday, August 27th- Was hot and humid yesterday- today seems sunny and dry- so far.

 If this has been here before- excuse me. (image is now deleted from the picture file).

Yesterday I read a new book. Do I Know You?  About a married couple who have lost contact with each other.  After only 5 years being married.  They pretend to be other people while at a resort having a Dating Workshop Event.  The book is written by a married couple.  This is their second book- first was the Roughest Draft.  Which I read.  This book is better.

I write that in case you read the Roughest Draft and passed over this second book. (which I was tempted to do)

I baked.  Another Peach Cobbler.  It's fantastic.  I made husband a pizza early in the week.

Strange but True.  I have tons of things in the fridge to eat.....I am not eating anything much.  When I don't have anything in the fridge- I will eat EVERYTHING I can find.  I am not sure how that translates...... but I have pasta and pulled pork and now peach cobbler.  I also have yogurt with fruit. Not hungry.

Husband forgot to eat dinner yesterday.  so...now that is happening.

The Ornamental Planters are getting TIRED.  I try and remove all spent flowers etc.....keep the planters looking "fresh" but it's the end of August....... planters are tired and I am tired.

Sun just broke thru....I have Ac unit on to get rid of moisture in the air.  Makes things more comfortable.  Its a small unit so it really doesn't cool the house much. And husband has two shirts on.......it gets weirder by the day.

Field Notes- Saturday. August 26th. Rain finally stopped- sunshine today.

 Elephants always remind me of my Dad.  In 5th grade he taught me how to draw an elephant.  The teacher didn't believe I had drawn it...so I got a fresh sheet of paper and drew another.

The girl next to me ate paste out of the jar.  Misfits were seated together in those days. Alongside the boys who picked their noses and rubbed the front of their pants..(and later became fascinating because they were coloring so far outside the lines....)

I survived.

But......I never, ever even tried to make friends with those shitty classmates (from 5th to 12th grade).  One weekend at college a bunch of my high school classmate came to my college- several classmates were also going to that college.  One guy- the one who asked me to Prom on the Tuesday (afternoon) before Prom...and I said no.  So he walks over and is again asking me to go out with all of them......and again I looked at him with, bewilderment...and said no. 

I was also totally shaken when the quarterback of our high school team stopped me on campus and wanted to talk to me. To me.  The head cheerleader was my roommate my freshman year.......sigh.  FATE just never never gave me a break.  She never spoke to me unless it was to say excuse me can I get past you..  It's like I did not exist.  Perhaps...I didn't exist in her world.. I was super depressed that year. And lonely.

Very very lonely.  But I was used to being alone.....so nothing new.  Connie who I met thru this blog was on the same campus at the same time...she says we possibly walked past each other several times a week.  We would have been friends......if we had met.  We both wish that had happened.

I'm sad today......but the sun is out and no animals ate my flowers.  It was raining and I didn't cover them last night..... and the peaches are ready to be make into a cobbler....so stuff to look forward to.

Elephant never forget.  I never forget.....

Field Notes- Friday, August 25th. Cooler and Raining- Quite a bit.

 So things are very wet outdoors.   Which is great...as other summers have been exceptionally DRY. I am reminded of the Great Grass Growing Project a few summers ago......having the sprinkler on it even day.

I have the house lights on, a good book to read and lots of fresh Summer Fruits and Vegetables to eat. Cook and Eat.  Today, thin sliced zucchini fried in a pan until "just right".   I ate this during the Elimination Diet when we (doctor and I) were trying to find out what foods I should NOT be eating. I loved the chicken and ginger broth.  With rice noodles.  Cooked on slow for hours and hours. The noodles added at the very end in the bowl of soup.   I had a terrible rash near my eye and was on steroids for weeks.

The beet smoothies were okay but I only made it ONCE.  And then had to really clean out the Vitamix. The Carrot and Raw Cashew Soup was really good...you let the Vitamix run until the soup was smoking hot.  Very creamy and delicious.  The Rice Flour Banana Muffins were gritty, dry and so very weird.  No egg no nothing.  Rice Flour and mashed ripe bananas I think...then baked.  I am not sure I kept the recipe.

You eat like this for three weeks and...trust me...you actually do not want to repeat.  The rash went away. It was moving close to my eyes....so doctor and I were pretty worried as I could have lost the use of that eye.

The only recipe I repeat is the thinly sliced zucchini in the pan with a bit of olive oil.  I also made zucchini noodles.  Thinly sliced in this noodle machine and left to dry for 8 hours or much longer.....then mixed into a stir fry.  Yes...I lost a ton of weight. Most of it was water weight.   I started out ALL bloated and puffy.  I ended up stick thin in less than three weeks.  I was very very sick.  One of many at the greenhouse where I was working.  

Field Notes- Thursday August 24th. Grass Cutting Day. Dentist for me yesterday. We forgot. they called. We zipped over there.

 My image file is cluttered.  This was a group of sculptures made using nails.  Rusty old nails. From Kim's Something Blog.

I like that this one has a tiny door and possibly a heart inside.

We were just sitting around reading the paper  yesterday when the dentist office called and asked "where are you?" I had an appointment- I asked if it was too late to arrive ...they said no.  So we left.  And husband ACTUALLY hasn't a clue where the dentist office is......just so we all know.  I got my teeth cleaned and then we talked about books.  I usually bring a book list for my Tech.  But...as I was running late etc....I gave her a list of my three favorite books for the Summer. verbally  so, it was good.

I am nearing the end of My Heart Will Find You.  Getting ready for the crying (on my part) because...I am that way.  I made pizza yesterday.  Husband wanted pizza so we had pizza.

I did a load of wash and changed the bed sheets.   Before going to bed I noticed a smell.  Skunk.  Possibly sprayed something near the back of the house......entering thru the exhaust vent for the washing machine and dryer.....Ugh!!!  I shut the washing machine room door and added a rolled towel for the small opening at the floor......then went to bed.  I slept.  I was doubtful I would.  I don't like skunk smell. Who does.

After the dentist - since we were very close to grocery store- I went in and bought peaches and soft white bread for Tomato Sandwiches and Another Peach Cobbler.  I also got more pulled pork from the Hot Bar and some leafy greens to add to my BBQ Salad.  Will be eating well, the rest of the week.

Field Notes- Wednesday, August 23rd. sunshine and humidity. An animal took a bite out of the ONE PEACH on my tree.

 Shimmering Destiny.

The Boiler keeps going on.  I am doing a load of wash and I took a long hot shower before even brushing my teeth.  We'll have fresh sheets tonight.  By tonight.  I have clean hair.  All this busy-ness makes me dizzy- I need 20 minutes of quiet sitting on the couch before I make my breakfast.  Blood Sugar is messed up.  I need to eat my breakfast.

I uncovered my ornamental containers.  Watered a few- I have one gallon plastic bottles to fill.  Several. Each planter gets two or three bottles full of water......And as they get used I carry them into the house to fill.  Husband never remembered the outdoor hoses.. and I did NOT remind him.

He went by himself to get his hair cut.  It's nearby.  He got home safely.  I gave him cash.  I thought about giving him one of the new credit cards......then decided No.  I could have given him a check....but that didn't seem like a smart idea either.  October is getting closer but still feels far away.

I am reading My Heart Will Find You- Deveraux.   I think this is the fifth or sixth time.  Could even be more times.  I read the Candidate Boyfriend just as often.   And the Accidental Beauty Queen would be in that read it again line up if my library owned it.....they do not.  I never fell in love like this....so I read about it. Imagine what it must be like..... at my age, I know it will never happen for me.

Yesterday I had a pulled pork salad.  Lettuces, yellow cheese, sour cream and pulled pork.  It was delicious.  Needed more sour cream or perhaps Ranch Dressing.  I have enough for a second salad.

I can make pizza today.  I can also have a tomato sandwich.....no I forgot soft bread.  Whatever,  I definitely have supplies to make a good meal.  I have roasted cherry tomato pasta also.  I am well supplied.

Field Notes- Tuesday, August 22nd. Sunshine.

 Leafy Greens.  Seems like August is a month where I should be having Leafy Greens.

I am reading an older Devereaux.  I had thought it was one I wanted to read- well, it was, sort of but the more things change.........her newer books are better.  I was typing more but way too graphic for an old women's morning blog. The older books.............and everyone is very hairy.

Husband is getting a haircut.  Today.

Neighbor has assorted vehicles in the driveway....August.  The guests come and go and mostly go leaving my neighbor alone in the house till they come back......she's okay with this, I guess. august in Maine is like that......many visitors are from France as France shuts down completely for the entire month of August.

I found this:  Born today (my birthday in 2022) you are friendly, sociable and reliable--but hard to "know".  You like your independence and you also like a comfortable lifestyle that is predictable.  You are an excellent (?) communicator but can be aloof and unavailable to others.

This year 2022, service to others will be the theme for you, perhaps service to family (wow got that right). this means having to take care of yourself so you can be a resource.

I am highly intuitive, helpful, a natural teacher.  I had worry and self doubt issues as a child.  But I get better with age. Am peace loving and hard working. i appreciate the comforts of home and family.  I don't make changes easily.  I have in years past (and even NOW) questioned my life's path.  Feeling like I have no anchor. Confused where I am headed.  The Dreamer and Doer in me are strong.

2023 was a year of Introspection, Self Analysis and Refinement of Talents.  I was supposed to free myself from aspects of Life and Responsibility and develop new talents and refine old ones.

I think, the Washing Machine Pages....was the way in which I was doing just that.  And now I move on. find a new Path......sigh.  I hope you will all help me with this........

Field Notes- Monday August 21st. So far: Paid bills, ate oatmeal, got dressed, did Sudoko Puzzle.

 So.....computer is slowing down......might not make it to the October arrival of Computer Genius Son. I will do my best but the images might have to go walk about.  Not be here.  Just words. I am having difficulty opening any mail that has an image. Even the ones trying to sell me things.

Opening this page takes awhile.  Being here is important to me...something I look forward to.  I have already given up dragging my own drawings here.......they won't transfer from iPhone to computer any more.  I delete everything I can delete to lighten the load.....but still....and the Boiler is going yet again and no one has used any hot water. 

I paid bills.  $442 a year for the daily newspaper.  We would miss it if I stopped getting it. And it's not like we could walk to the corner and buy one.  The Sudoko puzzles and the Jumbles.

I will drop the bills off at postoffice.....we have been warned that "people" are stealing mail from the roadside mailboxes.....getting account numbers, check numbers.... only "safe" place to deposit mail is post office.....I wish that was true. I gave up thinking the post office was a "safe palace" years ago.

Dentist this week for me.....cleaning. Next week husband.

We watched Ice Planets on PBS last night.  The probe sent out to Saturn.  And the probe sent to Pluto that took nine years to get there...but it could have been longer.....the images were fantastic.  I could watch these Planet episodes over and over again.  And was reminded of the Russian crash on the South of the Moon recently.  There is just something so amazing and beautiful about the programs.

Well, that's it for today.  Like actually it for today after Library, Post Office, Grocery.  Today is our most exciting day of the WEEK.

Field Notes- Sunday August 20th. Sunshine and Heat , I think

 Grilled corn.  Not that I would EVER mention the Grill out back (to husband)....but I have discovered a "fondness" for Mexican Street Corn.  Could I rent a guy and a grill (a guy who knows how to cook and make Mexican Street Corn).    Is there an App for that??????

Peaches are on sale tomorrow at Grocery.  More Cobbler?  I ate the last of it yesterday with vanilla ice cream.  Warmed in the microwave just a bit to take the fridge chill off of it.  I might buy cheesecake tomorrow.

Husband ate the last of this week's prepared meals yesterday.  I put frozen Italian meatballs (I smelled garlic) in a container with a lid to thaw out.......He has pasta.  He has cheese.  He has a jar of marinara.  Let's see if he can translate that into a bowl for his dinner TODAY??????  Or I will suggest it.

He mentioned- nope I can't share that.......

The final of the Women's World Cup at 2 am. I'll watch later this afternoon.

The Patriots Pre Season Game and the guy- unconscious on the grass.  The medical unit....the entire team standing watch.  Nothing in the paper this morning.....paper was already printed and bundled by then. I can scope it out on the online news after I press publish.  Truthfully, I don't think it will be good news.  They didn't even show a replay........that says something right there.  I think they did watch the replay in the booth and decided not to show it.  And the silence.  

So.......I have a book to read and return tomorrow at the Library Visit.  I have four waiting for pick up. And I will see what is on the New Book Shelves....I now put a slim date due sticker on each book......so I know which ones to read first........

I am working on the shopping list......Tea Bags for sure.

Field Notes- Saturday August 19th. I had forgotten what day it was.

 Nail Spider.

I forgot what day today was.........I thought it was Sunday.  It's Saturday.

Yesterday it got very dark and rained really really hard.  Pounded down on the roof--which is very likely CLEAN today.  When we lived in Florida and it rained like that-- I pulled my car out and let it get washed.

So....a load of wash is now in the dryer.......comes out of the washer almost dry.  I have the water setting on Optimum so the machine weighs the load and decides on the correct water amount.  

I walk away.  I have done this two or possibly three times now- walk away....Let the machine do it's work with out me standing by.......it was difficult for me to do....but I realized I actually had nothing much to write in the Washing Machine Pages anymore......my life is a Still Life.  Always the same.  Static.

The sun has disappeared....clouds are coming in and I need to turn on the lamps....

I read Silver Girl by Hilderbrand yesterday,  Straight thru start to finish.  I might have another of these Nantucket books.....perhaps a few in the bookcase...   We've never made the trip...it's closer than Florida. I don't think we'd "fit".  We are not "fancy".

Well, I have to select today's book, boil water for pasta for G's dinner, go fold and put away the freshly washed clothes.   I have on faded dark blue cotton pants with the legs rolled up.....I haven't worn these in a long time.  I stood in front of the closet longer than necessary and then put them on  and rolled the pant legs up. They fit.  They aren't tight.  I remember them being tight.....I don't remember the legs being as long....I am getting shorter, I think.  Yes, shorter.....

Field Notes- Friday August 18th. Took four (six) tries to spell Field. Make that seven.

 My picture file has some weird stuff in it.  But I like these.  Ink (water) color drawings (paintings).

I don't recall where or when (I got this image) but......this is actually how I paint.  Not that I painted these....I haven't dipped a brush into water and paint in a very long time......too long.

I finally got out of bed at 11am.  I wasn't sleeping.  I was, in fact, talking to myself out loud.  Crazy people stuff.  Which I do all the time.  It's like writing a few pages of a book out loud and not on paper.  I know some authors who speak the books they write.....not on paper- just out loud. Recording.

I think dialog is easier to write if spoken.

I have't used my spray starch.

Husband left his laptop in the car on Monday- asked where it was at 11pm yesterday.

The memory loss is moving faster.....he's himself most of the time.  Then he isn't. And when he isn't...he really isn't.......

The rain is pouring down right now........I can hear it making contact with the skylight in the kitchen. I should check for leaks. floor is dry...  In winter with snow and ice- I have a large commercial baking tray lined with a bath towel under the left side corner.......and the water gets collected...

In the Roger Stone tape I was watching his aide type........I think perhaps it was transcribing like in court. Any of you out there who type watch that clip.  Was it actual typing????  It seemed odd.

Field Notes- Thursday, August 17th. The Guys have come to cut the grass. Clouds.

 Found this in one of the unwanted emails I get each morning.  Recipe.  I copied onto an index card because I never have flour tortillas when I actually WANT them.  When I buy them--I rarely eat them. So...a recipe.....simple enough....flour salt baking powder olive oil and water.  I have all those things.

Will tape recipe to the cupboard door with all the (five) other IMPORTANT RECIPES.

Son who was (out of the blue) furloughed by his long time employer 9 months ago got a call- ......company has now realized they  "the company" might have made mistake..........reached out to him...... if it wasn't so insulting it would be sad.  But............wow just wow.  Took GUTS to call...must have really been a whopper of a mistake......

Grass Cutting this morning.......even BEFORE I went out to uncover the ornamentals.   A few bees stuck to the netting again. 

I'm re-reading a Susan Mallory book- Two teachers taking a bus full of high school athletes on a college tour on the California coastline.... and another romance between a wealthy business man and a home repair business owner (a woman) with most of her customers in a pricey Senior Citizen Community..   She just found out he "worked" his way thru college as a Vegas Stripper. I'd forgotten that part.  Things are heating up on the bus trip.  The coach and the math teacher.  

I made myself dinner last night.  Kraft Mac and Cheese with frozen green peas.  I have leftovers for today.

I haven't cracked open a fresh can of spray starch YET.  Might need to do a load of wash first.

What are You doing?????