Daily Notes- November 7

                                       

What I'm reading.  Frannie is born a slave on a plantation in Jamaica in the 1800's.  After the plantation and all it's crops burned to the ground, Frannie and her Master sailed to England where she is given as a gift to a man from whom her master wants a favor.  Frannie was taught to read as a child.  Her favorite book -Moll Flanders.  Frannie is accused of a double murder.  Her story - her life is written as a journal of sorts while she awaits trial.  "lush, gritty, wry, gothic, and compulsive". Another first book by an author who certainly knows how to write.  I love reading "first" books.

Reading "Where the Crawdad's Sing" and then "Confessions of Frannie Langton" would be an excellent use of the Winter of 2019.

I am never sure what I have already written here.  As, during the day, when things happen I am writing (in my head) what I would say about the incident on the blog and I write emails to people who comment.   There was nothing to see on Riley's ultra sound.  No cancer.  But his liver is oddly shadowed, enlarged with tiny specks of white.  The Vet has no idea: we could be looking at the Cosmos.  He can stick a long needle in to do a biopsy.  But didn't seem that eager to do that.  Riley is a large dog he says.... and large dogs have a lifespan that Riley has met and might, possibly, have exceeded.  Vet sees no reason for the tranquilizers or the twice daily amoxicillin which has had no effect.  He still got a fever (infection) while taking it.  So........ as to the low sodium turkey that is Riley's main food source- the Vet shrugged.  Said it really didn't matter.  A healthy diet is the least of our concerns I guess.

That was what the end of life doctor said about my dad.  A healthy diet was the least of our concerns.
Let him eat ice-cream and potato chips.  And even a hot dog which delighted my dad so much.

I wrote, here on this blog, about the Dark Times.  In Germany, a very depressed country, this is how they describe Winter.  It's Dark.  At 4 pm.  That's what I was saying.  It's dark.  I'm not depressed about it.  It's just the signal that Winter is here.  My daughter read those words and now she wants me to get a "seasonal mood light" to look at each day to reset my mental and emotional health.  OMG.

I am NOT depressed.  I am overwhelmed by the care giving of the dog.  The emotional caregiving.
Yes, I am sad.  I love the dog.  I would be sad. It's natural.

I stopped in at the grocery to buy a few things and......as happens (Fate).... I was stopped by several people I knew.  One to tell me the hibiscus plant I brought back from leafless near death is doing beautifully- years later. As I was leaving her, I said "I helped because I knew how much it meant to you that the plant lived". You see, I didn't just work.  I tried to help.  I made an effort to go beyond what was expected. It wasn't just a plant.  It was a husband who had died too soon.  It brought joy to me to see her so happy--now.

And they had FINALLY stocked the freezer with my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor.