Sunday, March 31, 2019
Daily Notes- March 31st
Desk (dining room table) Top. Piles of things I am interested in this month. At least three journals (the ones with black binding), a new book from Connie with the things that can be removed-removed, coupons cut from the paper, my rescue inhaler in the little zippered pouch, seed packets, hibiscus pink tea bag papers, thread and out of sight on the right-my jar of pens and scissors--also a pincushion and spool of thread. Have you seen this already? I am totally confused by what images you have seen or not seen.
Not in evidence--because I just got them-- magazines from my neighbor that I clipped images from for my "image boards" for the Artist Way. Already I am seeing that what I want is a new couch and a new table and a new desk. I'd also like a fantastic new pair of everyday/all occasion shoes. Shoes that mysteriously feel like I am not wearing shoes at all.
I am prepped and ready to begin my (our) taxes. Yes, I have procrastinated my way right into April-YET AGAIN. And I have not taken the damned things to a tax person. What I really want is to never do the taxes again. NEVER. DO. TAXES. AGAIN. IN. THIS. LIFETIME. There you have it. My goal in Life.
Good News this morning. We have gotten thru a day and a night with Riley not panting, drooling or walking around in a stupor. No one had to sleep on the couch. Riley has eating all of his small plated meals. He has slept. Enjoyed his walks. G put him on the leash at an important spot in the daily off leash walk. A spot where he might have been eating something toxic. Or dead. Or really terrible. At this very minute Riley is sound asleep on his dog bed in the living room. He has NOT been on that bed in a full week.
We are very relieved and rested after two full nights of sleep. All three of us.
Goodwill later today. It's raining and dismal outside. I am having a toasted bagel for breakfast instead of cream of wheat cooked cereal. And a red Texas grapefruit served in halves with a grapefruit spoon. And a coffee. The bagel will still have to be cut into small wedges. But a small price to pay. The jaw feels more relaxed than it's been in a long time.
I started the day with a nice long shower and a change of clothes. A red sweater. Brown socks and pants. A change from the green pants and grey sweater of the last months. (I have multiples of the green pants (winter greenhouse work) and grey sweater). I wore green clothing to the greenhouse. I don't know why--it just felt ...right. And now, brown pants. Red sweater. I also now own a pair of black winter pants. Crazy, huh????
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Daily Notes- March 30th
Fourteen years ago I painted this pear. I made a new painting every day after breakfast. Until the pear got too ripe and started decomposing. If I had been a "new modern" type of painter I would have painted the pear while it decomposed. I was not and did not. Several of the paintings were admired and given away to those admiring them. I have only two remaining. Admired only by me.
The Advil dosage is making me sleepy and non-attentive. And doesn't seem to have any after effect when each mega dose wears off. I have done Morning Pages, eaten breakfast and taken a nap so far today. I don't have the attention span for the puzzle. It's been days since I even tried to work on it.
Riley had another bad night and I slept on the couch until he'd settled down (didn't look at the clock) and then went back to my own bed. He and G just got back from the walk and G put the dog on the leash where he has been running off out of sight. We think there is something there he is eating. Something that might be the cause of his drooling, not eating, pacing and not being able to lay down even though he is shaking with exhaustion. Or he's going blind. Or insane.
Riley has gone outside with G-- where G is chipping the ice off the front sidewalk next to the porch. Where the sun never shines. So it never melts. I am thinking about going back to sleep.
I watched three episodes I had recorded of the Gourmet Detective (Hallmark Mysteries) yesterday from late afternoon to evening. Not current episodes but a new one is coming out in April so Hallmark was showing the older ones all together on the same day. I liked them. There wasn't much plot but the actors were likable.
Nothing going on on the internet so I am returning to the couch and another nap.
Friday, March 29, 2019
Daily Notes- March 29th
From the wall across from my dining room table. Favorite images I have cut from magazines and the ever present crow.
It's a cloudy day here in Maine, but warm (for Maine) and rain is coming. For the next three days. I hope it's enough to melt the snow. I'm getting really tired of snow.
The local Dairy Queen has removed the wooden coverings from the building's windows. Changed out the signs etc. I am really looking forward to the first DG treat of the season. Our DQ closes up in early October and opens in April. Seasonal. The one in Bath does the same even though they sell food and have a very small indoor seating area.
Riley had a tough day yesterday. He did sleep last night (under our bed) and is now sleeping next to the desk where I am typing. He hasn't eaten anything. I gave him one of his anxiety pills yesterday when he had uncontrolled drool which was upsetting him. Seemed to work. I'm not giving him a pill this morning because he seems to be calm. It's like one good day and then one day when he is upset. Riley's tough days are hard on the entire family.
My Advil medical treatment seems to be easing the tight pain of my jaw. A few more days and it might go back to chewing as usual. Or not. I have soup and cooked cereal to eat today. Perhaps some mac and cheese made really soupy.
My horoscope in this morning's paper said I had five stars and could do well with difficult problems today. Now, that could mean anything as most of the stuff I deal with these days--turns out to be a difficult problem. But I will begin with looking into past tax returns for the loss carry over worksheet. Turbo Tax forgot about it for awhile and now I need to go look for it. I might eventually do amended returns for the years Turbo Tax didn't remind me of my carry over. Turbo Tax isn't as wonderful as people imagine it to be. If I wasn't aware of carry over losses----- but I am.
And I might bake a pan of Brownies. They are soft enough to eat.
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Daily Notes- March 28th
The zucchini pickles are out of the canning kettle and I can hear the tiny "ping" of lids sealing. I almost got the proportions right. 7.5 jars. Recipe says it makes 8. Never has. But 7.5 is the most I've gotten in all the years I have made these pickles so--getting closer. It's a bread and butter pickle made with zucchini instead of cucumbers. Comes out crisper. Zucchini in yellow and green, red bell peppers, onions, jalapeƱo peppers. All sliced very thin on my veggie slicer.
Canning stuff in March is WAY more fun than canning stuff in August.
The image up top. I have had these blocks in a box in the Attic for a very LONG time- I was still driving the BMW and my dad was still alive. The blocks arrived in a collection of boxes removed from the house of a dear elderly woman after she died of a massive stroke. I removed the last of the two borders she had on the blocks. Uneven and strange. I think she must have had a few early strokes and as she had admitted "could not see the work anymore" and was often confused.
She called and asked me to come thread her sewing machine at least once a week and often fed me dinner because my husband was traveling and someone should feed me. The centers of the blocks are not always in the center. As you can see. My friend was 86. I am going to finish adding borders from the fabrics she had selected. See what I can make of this. Check it off my list of "things to finish". Perhaps make one or two for Connie's hospital group. There are lots of these blocks.
I love the border fabric. Cheerful.
I had a visit with my dentist this morning. He checked my jaw hinges and said we could order a mouth guard--but the procedure for making a computer model would be too painful for me right now. So I am taking 600mg of Advil four times a day to relax the muscles and then we'll see if we need the guard. At first, that much medicine made me woozy when it hit my tummy. I'm okay now. The gum chewing is probably what caused things to go wrong. The "cap" might have slipped out place and now the "hinge" is unprotected.
I like it when a professional tells me to spend time on the couch with a heating pad.
I had a very productive morning with the Morning Pages and then I re-did the tasks for Week Five. Connie sent me a book and in that book it said the responses tot he prompts have to be fast, with no thinking. So I did them over. Much different now. I don't know if they are better but only Time will tell. I found I like dancing and floating in water. Odd, because I can't swim and have no sense of rhythm.
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Daily Notes- March 27th
Signs of Spring in Maine. Pussy willow stems I cut and now have in a large glass vase on the hall table. The table where I have piled my garden class materials. I think today, I will transfer them to the Attic. Then the table will be clear. Some crocuses are blooming and a few of the tiny daffodils.
Tomorrow I visit the dentist to have an opinion of what is making my left jaw hurt so much. I know I clench it at night. I feel it and relax but then it tightens again. Perhaps a mouth guard. I haven't eaten anything "chewy" or hard. I have to cut my food into small bites. I have yogurt with strawberries for later.
I am still doing the intermittent fasting. No food after 5 pm-none before 10 am. Last night I wanted food but kept telling myself -it's after 5 and you are doing so good with this. A few times. I wanted potato chips. I did not have any.
Yesterday evening I got it out of my system and the TiVo files. Three episodes of a Hallmark Mystery series. A regular "binge" but now they are watched --and they were beautifully done --so unlike the usual crappy Hallmark movies. I enjoyed them.
Riley --the Vet says his liver number is 380 and they like 240 to be the top number. Riley is taking liver meds ($80 a month) but still the count goes up. The Vet is jonesing to use the NEW ultra sound equipment. To "look at every surface" of Riley's liver. But we know it's not cancer. As he would be dead already. Years ago. Cancer goes fast. Never slow in the liver. And Riley--well, I won't put him thru surgery--so why look? Has any Reader gone down this road?
I have visited the library and have three books to read if I feel like reading. I had taken all the unread books back to the library prior to Week Four. I did get a book I very much want to read by a favorite author-- it takes years for them to be translated into English and then published here. But I have it and will begin reading it today. I just have some housekeeping to do--the hall table, etc.
And I do have the sliced vegetables for the pickles brining in the vestibule fridge. to make pickles today or not to make pickles today--that is the question.
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Daily Notes- March 26th
A very old piece that surfaced a few weeks ago and is now on the wall behind my chair. The center is that Walmart Black of long ago that bleached to the soft off white. The center is the paper circle from a new pre-wound bobbin. The black is rubbed and painted with rusty color. I may have had this on the blog --but I can't remember anymore. It's an image I took with the phone a week ago. Before.
Storm brewing? The yellow threads always make me think of energy.
Re-entry after Week Four.
I didn't enjoy the news and shut the television off. I read a few blog posts. I wrote one. I got two emails. I answered them. I had a long phone call. I researched building raised beds to see how we could add taller sides. Perhaps we won't. Just work with what we have for one more year and then decide. I sat in silence. Resting. Not really wanting to give up the quiet.
As I just wrote to Grace, I am off to the grocery store-- once the furnace guy arrives to do the annual furnace cleaning--to buy trucked in zucchini, onions and red bell peppers and make a batch of bread and butter pickles to process. We are out of pickles. And waiting until July or August seems rather stupid. I didn't make pickles last summer. The Summer of my Discontent. Which became my Winter of Discontent. And if I don't shake things up-- will become my Spring of Discontent.
Week Five is asking "what do you want? What do you really WANT?". What things have you always thought were "not for me" but I wished they were for me. I need to work myself away from "this is who I am" to this is "who I wanted to be". Think about Maybe. List five things--what would I do if it didn't sound too crazy?
Since I tend to live WAY FAR from anything even slightly "crazy" this is not going to be an easy list to assemble. The craziest I have gotten was to chose bright red eyeglass frames. But I do admit they have made me very very happy!
I have never felt I was worthy of anything more in Life. A Palm Reader once said "you will have enough but never more". Perhaps if I had defined "Enough" differently thru my Life Time?
I see that I am living the Unexamined Life. I have lots of things to work on and dig for this week. And the puzzle. It's the source of so much frustration and it opens me up to thinking about-- My Biggest Worry. And what is that?
Monday, March 25, 2019
Daily Notes- March 25th
Hard to decide where to re-enter Media today. The choices seem overwhelming. So, I began the day as I had the past seven. Breakfast and the Morning Pages. Coffee. And then the morning newspaper. Which held little of interest. How interesting that was. I hadn't actually missed anything.
Here at home, G is taking two Tylenol twice a day (my suggestion) and is sleeping comfortably and will attempt a walk with the dog for the first time since Thursday. The Dog is doing well and sleeping most of each day with only one tranquilizer tablet-not two. G is also working in his coloring books. He says the work is helping him remember things--like brain exercises--sort of. Which is great because his "fall back" memory tool--is me. I am supposed to remember all his memories and also my own.
My image for the day is my puzzle. This is it for success over an entire 7 days of working on it. The little washing jug, dish and above that a mirror -- left of the window-- was all I managed the last three days. Oh, and a bit of work between the smaller chair and hanging clothing on the top right. The remainder of the puzzle is wide stretches of grey or brown. Very slight modulations of hue. I was attempting to get something going with that scattering of yellow and blue pieces. I gave up and happily went to bed. The puzzle is a terrific sleep aid.
Sunday was Goodwill and then the greenhouse (where I used to work) for their Spring Open House. No phone call this morning so I don't think we won any door prizes. G usually is lucky and wins one each year. I was hugged by one of the owners of the greenhouse enterprise. A very nice man. And greeted with enthusiasm by my former employer.
I had a nice conversation with my next door neighbors who I never see at home but always see at the greenhouse. Ruth has a brand new great grandchild. Might even be a great great. The refreshment table at the Open House had paper cups filled with nice potato chips. I enjoyed them.
At Goodwill, I found a Frank Lloyd Wright puzzle of the Peacock Carpet for $3. When I got it home I opened it and the puzzle pieces are still in their sealed bag. Amazon has the puzzle listed for $42. The librarian told me the Frank Lloyd Wright puzzle they have (larger) is very very very difficult. I may give my Goodwill find to the library as a donation. That larger puzzle was the puzzle I returned the day after starting the Van Gogh.
I am considering buying season tickets to the Summer Bowdoin Music Festival. This came to me while doing Week Four. And Week Five is about being open to new possibilities. G and I also started talking about plans to raise the height of the beds in the vegetable garden. so we can plant and weed without having to get down on the ground. Chair height is what we settled on. Not waist height.
I can bend at the waist. I can still bend at the waist. Repeat 10 times.
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Day Seven
Nearly there.
Yesterday I got out the glue stick, scissors and the newest of the many black bound journals with smooth blank pages. I unloaded the sheets of images cut from magazines. I removed any with text --for another time. I set to work.
Chairs. This current journal is filled with chairs. The wall across from the table (where I pin images to the drywall) chairs. The newer images -pairs of chairs. And last night I pulled out the previous journal to read (as I am allowed to read my own words and thoughts) there it was on the first page of the journal.
"I had three chairs in my house: one for Solitude, two for Friendship and three for Society"
At the beginning of this new journal -and I put some images on the blog posts--it was just the One Single Chair. But the newest images, the past few weeks, it has been Two Chairs. Often facing each other. I have one such image on the wall. I have been looking at it for long stretches of Time this week. Thinking about something I wrote in an old journal about chairs.
That older journal I pulled off the shelf to read. The blog started taking more and more of my Time and Energy and that last journal isn't even finished. And it covers three and perhaps even with this year, four years. I read and then filled in some spaces on two pages. Updating other pages with the "rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would say on his radio programs.
Three seasons of gardening and canning. Successes and failures in diets. Recipes I have searched for in the recipe card file. Which was where I write and store them now. Before...they were written into the journal pages. Counts of produce coming out of the garden--so much--and the jars and jars of pickles I was canning. And the figs. The first two years and the bounty of figs. The blueberries. Bowls and bowls of blueberries. Last year the birds ate them all. I had failed to put up the cloth. Failed to "set my flag" as Grace noted. And the original recipe for the peach raw cashew smoothies. Not too many blueberries.
Last year there was no garden. Only the Earth Boxes on the driveway. No bounty of zucchini for pickles. No blueberries.
I had given up. I had let go of what was most important and brought so much Joy into my Life. My garden. I had chosen instead the television and "breaking news" and I had also chosen the internet. I had chosen "media". And given up the quiet slow days of the garden. When nothing happened for days and weeks and then suddenly.......everything happened at one.
Week Four. One Chair. Tomorrow. Two and Three chairs.
Yesterday I got out the glue stick, scissors and the newest of the many black bound journals with smooth blank pages. I unloaded the sheets of images cut from magazines. I removed any with text --for another time. I set to work.
Chairs. This current journal is filled with chairs. The wall across from the table (where I pin images to the drywall) chairs. The newer images -pairs of chairs. And last night I pulled out the previous journal to read (as I am allowed to read my own words and thoughts) there it was on the first page of the journal.
"I had three chairs in my house: one for Solitude, two for Friendship and three for Society"
At the beginning of this new journal -and I put some images on the blog posts--it was just the One Single Chair. But the newest images, the past few weeks, it has been Two Chairs. Often facing each other. I have one such image on the wall. I have been looking at it for long stretches of Time this week. Thinking about something I wrote in an old journal about chairs.
That older journal I pulled off the shelf to read. The blog started taking more and more of my Time and Energy and that last journal isn't even finished. And it covers three and perhaps even with this year, four years. I read and then filled in some spaces on two pages. Updating other pages with the "rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would say on his radio programs.
Three seasons of gardening and canning. Successes and failures in diets. Recipes I have searched for in the recipe card file. Which was where I write and store them now. Before...they were written into the journal pages. Counts of produce coming out of the garden--so much--and the jars and jars of pickles I was canning. And the figs. The first two years and the bounty of figs. The blueberries. Bowls and bowls of blueberries. Last year the birds ate them all. I had failed to put up the cloth. Failed to "set my flag" as Grace noted. And the original recipe for the peach raw cashew smoothies. Not too many blueberries.
Last year there was no garden. Only the Earth Boxes on the driveway. No bounty of zucchini for pickles. No blueberries.
I had given up. I had let go of what was most important and brought so much Joy into my Life. My garden. I had chosen instead the television and "breaking news" and I had also chosen the internet. I had chosen "media". And given up the quiet slow days of the garden. When nothing happened for days and weeks and then suddenly.......everything happened at one.
Week Four. One Chair. Tomorrow. Two and Three chairs.
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Day Six
G got home around 7:30 pm. Still in pain. Will be having a Nuclear Stress Test back at the hospital this week. G is now thinking he will die of a stroke instead of a heart attack. I am thinking a stroke and not dying might be worse.
Riley slept all day yesterday while G was gone and all night until just an hour ago. I had a good night's sleep as well.
What am I learning? I know you are asking the same question. Well, I am learning that I FILL my day with MEDIA of all sorts instead of actually doing stuff. Absent the MEDIA I have had to re-develop the skills of writing in my journal, pasting the backlog of images I cut from magazines onto pages, writing letters (on paper, with envelopes and stamps).
Even the simple work of doing a puzzle. It wasn't fast moving. It wasn't sending me messages with all caps. It was slow. Nothing happens for long periods of time. When you have to re-connect with stuff you have stored inside yourself--for later. Only later never arrives.
The book had me writing a letter to myself --from my 80 year old self. Now, most people doing this program are not as up close and personal with their 80th birthday (7.5 years away) and can make grand pronouncements of how the next 20 or 30 years should be lived. Pronouncements for 7.5 years? Bucket List? What is your opinion of them?
I get to read comments Monday Morning.
Riley slept all day yesterday while G was gone and all night until just an hour ago. I had a good night's sleep as well.
What am I learning? I know you are asking the same question. Well, I am learning that I FILL my day with MEDIA of all sorts instead of actually doing stuff. Absent the MEDIA I have had to re-develop the skills of writing in my journal, pasting the backlog of images I cut from magazines onto pages, writing letters (on paper, with envelopes and stamps).
Even the simple work of doing a puzzle. It wasn't fast moving. It wasn't sending me messages with all caps. It was slow. Nothing happens for long periods of time. When you have to re-connect with stuff you have stored inside yourself--for later. Only later never arrives.
The book had me writing a letter to myself --from my 80 year old self. Now, most people doing this program are not as up close and personal with their 80th birthday (7.5 years away) and can make grand pronouncements of how the next 20 or 30 years should be lived. Pronouncements for 7.5 years? Bucket List? What is your opinion of them?
I get to read comments Monday Morning.
Friday, March 22, 2019
Day Five
Cried all the way thru writing the three full Morning Pages. Complete honesty. I cried thru breakfast. I feel used up but in a good way.
At 10 am Riley and I went out to the Vet for his appointment. Snowed over night and then hard rain. The Vet parking lot was flooded. So were my shoes and socks up to the ankles. Riley now has a script for tranquilizers and he also had a $150 Senior Dog Blood Panel.
G went to his 7:30 am Lung doctor visit and, because office is adjacent to very large hospital, G was sent to the ER for a long list of tests. Lungs were cleared by 10 am. Heart was up next. He and I were texting until 11:30 and then he said he had another test (in a long line of tests including an EKG and blood work) and nothing for the past two and a half hours. Time is passing slowly and I am having hard time dealing with this-which is why I am here. Crying.
I have lost count of how many cups of hot tea I have consumed but I do know I have been to the bathroom many times. Riley is sound asleep--no longer on alert monitoring G.
What a week.
At 10 am Riley and I went out to the Vet for his appointment. Snowed over night and then hard rain. The Vet parking lot was flooded. So were my shoes and socks up to the ankles. Riley now has a script for tranquilizers and he also had a $150 Senior Dog Blood Panel.
G went to his 7:30 am Lung doctor visit and, because office is adjacent to very large hospital, G was sent to the ER for a long list of tests. Lungs were cleared by 10 am. Heart was up next. He and I were texting until 11:30 and then he said he had another test (in a long line of tests including an EKG and blood work) and nothing for the past two and a half hours. Time is passing slowly and I am having hard time dealing with this-which is why I am here. Crying.
I have lost count of how many cups of hot tea I have consumed but I do know I have been to the bathroom many times. Riley is sound asleep--no longer on alert monitoring G.
What a week.
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Day Four
We doped up the dog and all three of us got a good night's sleep. Today was so much better.
I spent most of the day Boro stitch repairing the inside sleeve seams of a very nice old pale pink linen shirt from the days when I worked at the library. The fabric for the sleeves must have had a defect. It shredded with wear under the arms. I had a hand dyed pink cotton in my box of solids. I had DMC in a perfect match. Even if the repair shows--it's beautifully done if I have to say so myself. And now I can wear the pretty pink shirt again.
The only excitement was dropping my sewing needle and when I got down on the carpet to look for it--I picked the perfect spot for my knee. Right over the needle. Went in smooth. Wouldn't come out. I tugged and tugged. Home alone--guys out on the walk. What to do? Tried again and it came out. Must have gone in between the cap bones. Bent--so I can't use it anymore -- darn-laughing.
Told the story and showed daughter the needle--she nearly passed out-- priceless!!!!
G sorted all the puzzle pieces by color and texture into piles for me. And found the last missing border piece. He also reads me the mail- listening is allowed. Life is good and I am enjoying the quiet.
I spent most of the day Boro stitch repairing the inside sleeve seams of a very nice old pale pink linen shirt from the days when I worked at the library. The fabric for the sleeves must have had a defect. It shredded with wear under the arms. I had a hand dyed pink cotton in my box of solids. I had DMC in a perfect match. Even if the repair shows--it's beautifully done if I have to say so myself. And now I can wear the pretty pink shirt again.
The only excitement was dropping my sewing needle and when I got down on the carpet to look for it--I picked the perfect spot for my knee. Right over the needle. Went in smooth. Wouldn't come out. I tugged and tugged. Home alone--guys out on the walk. What to do? Tried again and it came out. Must have gone in between the cap bones. Bent--so I can't use it anymore -- darn-laughing.
Told the story and showed daughter the needle--she nearly passed out-- priceless!!!!
G sorted all the puzzle pieces by color and texture into piles for me. And found the last missing border piece. He also reads me the mail- listening is allowed. Life is good and I am enjoying the quiet.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Day Three
Well, Monday G was up with the dog at 4 am and last night I was up with the dog at 3 am. Riley gets panicky and tries to crawl under the bed, skids on the floor, pants--wakes us both up......... if we take him out to the living room and settle him on the carpet and us on the couch--all's well. For the dog.
Later in the afternoon, I closed my eyes while on the couch and wrote a little short story in my head--dialogue and all. I had been trying to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep.
And the puzzle. I stand and look at it and get nowhere and then in a tiny burst of something, five or six pieces get put together. Three days into it-- I have three outside edges complete--happened today around 3 pm. That's when I went to the couch for the story writing nap.
It's actually quite pleasant not knowing anything about what's happening in the World. I don't miss reading the newspaper as much as I imagined I would. And, like farmers the world over--I am ready for bed as soon as the Sun goes down.
Whenever I am out in Town--I am having interesting conversations with people. At the grocery the woman in line behind me told me a story about the teens working in her restaurant for the summer. The cashier also shared her own story of summer employment. I don't think that would have happened last week. The college student in the coffee shop shared the opinion that MacroEconomics isn't interesting. I learned you can attend a college lecture in a coffee shop with a laptop and headphones. I wished that had been the case in 1964.
Later in the afternoon, I closed my eyes while on the couch and wrote a little short story in my head--dialogue and all. I had been trying to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep.
And the puzzle. I stand and look at it and get nowhere and then in a tiny burst of something, five or six pieces get put together. Three days into it-- I have three outside edges complete--happened today around 3 pm. That's when I went to the couch for the story writing nap.
It's actually quite pleasant not knowing anything about what's happening in the World. I don't miss reading the newspaper as much as I imagined I would. And, like farmers the world over--I am ready for bed as soon as the Sun goes down.
Whenever I am out in Town--I am having interesting conversations with people. At the grocery the woman in line behind me told me a story about the teens working in her restaurant for the summer. The cashier also shared her own story of summer employment. I don't think that would have happened last week. The college student in the coffee shop shared the opinion that MacroEconomics isn't interesting. I learned you can attend a college lecture in a coffee shop with a laptop and headphones. I wished that had been the case in 1964.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Day Two
Slept from 9 pm yesterday til 8 am this morning. I have NEVER slept like that. Even as a very young baby-I was awake and watchful. My mother hated it. We never bonded because of that, I guess. I was like a watchful, on guard alien. Perhaps just arrived from another Life. Confused. Not sure about my new situation. ----I got that right.
Coffee date with my friend at 10:30 this morning -we had a delightful visit. Then at 12 noon I embarked on the Town walk I postponed yesterday. Walked the length of Maine Street and visited the independent book store, the independent quilt store (red with mini white dots might be on the purchase list), the independent health food store and then across the busy street directly into the independent art supply store. Yesterday they would have been closed. How about that?
Grace I now own Inktense pencils. And origami paper. And an indigo kit.
I stopped to buy some food and then home. I ate my late lunch while puzzling over that puzzle--trying to get the outside perimeter done. I am missing some pieces. Or just can't see them. I am sleepy again. Will probably not even make it to 9pm. I'm sure this isn't the normal reaction to a media fast.
Coffee date with my friend at 10:30 this morning -we had a delightful visit. Then at 12 noon I embarked on the Town walk I postponed yesterday. Walked the length of Maine Street and visited the independent book store, the independent quilt store (red with mini white dots might be on the purchase list), the independent health food store and then across the busy street directly into the independent art supply store. Yesterday they would have been closed. How about that?
Grace I now own Inktense pencils. And origami paper. And an indigo kit.
I stopped to buy some food and then home. I ate my late lunch while puzzling over that puzzle--trying to get the outside perimeter done. I am missing some pieces. Or just can't see them. I am sleepy again. Will probably not even make it to 9pm. I'm sure this isn't the normal reaction to a media fast.
Monday, March 18, 2019
Day One
Day One and I am exhausted.
And I was just sitting on the couch resting and thought I would write to you before falling asleep. There was an "ice jam" of things that "let go" in the Morning Pages today. A dream I have had all my adult life showed up again in the early hours of my sleep and while writing about it in the Morning Pages I realized that I had interpreted it all wrong. For all these years. I know what the dream means now.
And it changes everything.
I woke up energized and my class was well received--and ran over time. I did manage to get all the floors in the house vacuumed and I have a puzzle to work on if G watches television. I cut Goodwill Sunday fabric into 2.5 inch squares (after breakfast instead of reading the newspaper) and can go down to the sewing room--vacuumed--and sew the squares into a placemat.
The puzzle is Van Gogh's painting of his bedroom (found at the library). I drew something similar of my dorm room. I think of that drawing whenever I see the painting. It's lost to me now but I think I might try and draw it from memory this week.
The Buddhist Monk sits on my dresser next to my side of the bed. Perhaps from another Life.
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Happy St. Patrick's Day
The only image I had that was GREEN. Winter creeper. It's sold as an annual to "spill" over the sides of ornamental summer containers. I find it has a zone number of 3 and overwinters in my garden beds here in Maine just fine. Each year I add three more to the ones I have, using it as a ground cover that is pretty gorgeous with pink, blue or white flowers. I love the lime green yellow combo.
I finished my huge Tombland book yesterday and then watched the ridiculous Crossword Mystery on Hallmark. Local PBS is still "fundraising"--I think it's been three weeks. PBS is my Sunday evening go-to. My husband has been playing word search games on his phone and the computer so I am left to entertain myself with Hallmark.
And it's a "good thing" I finished that huge book because week four in the Artist's Way is "no reading" week. No reading anything- not even the Artist's Way book. I am supposed to find other ways to spend the time I would use reading. Find a new hobby (but not read how to do it), clean out a closet, cook (but I guess not read a recipe card) etc. No reading. Not reading the morning paper will be hard and I think-literally-reading blog posts is also going to be off limits. Writing them? I don't know since I am reading it as I write it. I may have to take a leave of absence until next Monday. Morning Pages are still on--as I have NEVER read any of the pages I have written. The upside to this--I also will NOT be able to our taxes next week.
We drifted off to Goodwill today, sort of late--I returned two of the shirts I purchased on my day out with my daughter. One didn't fit the way I like things to fit and the other just wasn't attractive on me. Found a pair of cropped rosy pink linen LLBean pants in my size today. Hardly worn. Had the marks on the labels meaning they were from the Bean Employee Store, were older- not the new cheap linen Bean is using now. I checked to see if both legs were the same length. That happens at Bean more than they will admit. No white linen camp shirts. I had asked the Universe for some.
So--don't get upset when I do not post this coming week. I am not sick or anything like that. I am just not "reading" and I'll be teaching a class tomorrow and then I might actually start some seeds for my garden, clean out a few closets, listen to some music and probably do some sewing.
Really, really happy to not have to do the taxes this coming week. yippee.
I actually CAN write but I cannot read your comments or your blog posts etc. But I can write. So, I will if it feels like I have something to say. No television. No one else's words. No radio. No Movies. Nothing. A walk. Handwashing dishes. Going out for lunch. Ironing. Painting or Drawing. Tomorrow I will be talking. Sigh. Teaching a Class. Not reading my notes.
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Daily Notes- March 16th
In the Good Old Days when I was making lots of things out of fabric, I kept all the uneven edges I cut from the fabric (straightening the edge) and eventually made two or three of these squares. This green one and a pink one I cannot find right now. I just kept layering and weaving as I went. Then machine "quilted" them down so nothing was flapping around. They look grand on a white wall.
My jaw is better each day. I am still thinking the dentist appointment might not be a wise thing on the 26th but we'll wait and see a few more days. Keeping my jaw open for the length of time it takes to clean my teeth--might be more time than my jaw wants to remain open. And it might get stuck-open--which would be horrible.
I am on page 589 in Tombland. Couple hundred more to go. They are in the midst of the great uprising of the commoners on Mousehold under the leadership of Robert and William Kett. The Protector's Herald has arrived and announced the army of the King (Edward) is on the way (if any others of you studied English history in school). I think most of the characters so vividly depicted will be dead in the next 100 or so pages. We still do not know where Edith Boleyn was for 9 years nor who killed her. That was the main premise for Lawyer Shardlake to be involved. Oddly enough, riders are still delivering letters.
My treat from yesterday's shopping trip was a chocolate ganache brownie. More ganache than brownie.....I wish I had purchased more than one. I wish I had purchased only one shirt yesterday. The other two--I know already that I won't wear them.
Riley is feeling much better now that he is getting pureed pumpkin with his dog food. I think he might had needed "more moisture in his bowels". His eyesight isn't good and has trouble with shiny floors and last night he forgot where our bedroom was located. Let's hope my faculties remain sharp as I am the only one who has a clue around here.
Well, I am off to the grocery store--- it isn't snowing or raining and the sun is shining.
Friday, March 15, 2019
Daily Notes- March 15th
From the way back--the old iPhone camera. The blue batik. Some Magic Cloth from Deb. Some painted fragments. I was trying to make some sense of things. And then put it all away and worked on other things.
Today my daughter called and asked if I wanted to go to the huge Goodwill three Towns south of us. She referenced it as an "artist date" from the Morning Pages. I normally would have said no--but--I am trying harder to be kind and open and so--I said yes. We had a very good time. I have two new shirts--I didn't need any but they are very nice. And I think my closet was happy to welcome them. That closet is like a multi colored sprinkles explosion (Deb). So much new clothing in such pretty colors. Not just the pale blue and white shirts.
I am thinking of using some of my Random Acts money to buy myself eye glasses with frames in new colors. I saw some on MSNBC that were slate gray. And I've seen bright indigo blue frames. And golden yellow. Since they are so expensive with my prescription--one new color a year? The ones I have been wearing are bright, true red.
My daughter was talking about intermittent fasting in the car. That's another synchronism event. A gal where she works has JUST started it to control evening nibbling. Daughter said it's been on Dr Oz's program this week. This week. Now if the Universe would just send me a new sweater.
But it might be too late. Very warm today. Felt like Spring.
Daughter also recommended Tylenol for Arthritis for my jaw (she took it when she had her wisdom teeth taken out) and we stopped and bought a bottle. The commenter who suggested this is TMJ was correct. I looked it up and I had all the hallmarks--even down to the cracking sound in my ears when I chewed gum. And, Mayo Clinic's website says I should NOT be chewing gum or chewing sticky foods (like caramel turtles) which I have been doing prior to the pain. Today things were better until I got home. Fatigue, I guess. Mayo also suggested heat (I was doing that), soft foods, nothing sticky or chewy and muscle relaxation drugs. I was kind of hoping to be able to cancel my 6 month teeth cleaning next week.
This morning in my Pages I wrote that I am content with myself.
Thursday, March 14, 2019
Daily Notes- March 14th
Another drawer full of really cheap wooden and plastic beads I got at Goodwill over a period of months. I have these wire forms that are put around the root balls of trees. At the greenhouse where I worked--they threw them into the dumpster and I pulled them out. Upside down they have a crumpled lampshade look and I thought I could wire strings of beads to them and other dangling sparkling things and hang them from the big oak tree and let them tilt in the breeze and sparkle and with some bells--even make some wind music. Now all I need is to buy some wire that is soft enough for me to bend with my hands.
There was a show on PBS about The Healing Machine made by an uneducated loner. He created mobiles and wind driven "healing machines" and after his death the entire collection was sold to an art museum. It's a beautiful thing. His entire family of 8 had died of cancer. He was the sole survivor in early adulthood. Imagine carrying that? I keep the recording of that PBS show on my TiVo and watch it whenever I am thinking about building my little lampshade machines.
I got my hair cut today and my stylist and I discussed seed starting. She has celery seeds up about an inch already. I haven't started any. I don't know if we'll garden again this year down in the raised beds. Neither of us is too keen on the weeding and cleanup necessary. I am wondering if it is depression or what. It all just seems like work that is way too hard. Or is this the way old people feel?
My jaw pain has transformed into a terrible headache on that side of my head. Well, not terrible--it's just a constant dull ache and the constant-ness of it wears me down. It's there when I wake up and it's still there when I go to bed. Tylenol--my daily two capsules--does nothing. And now my sinuses have decided to start acting all stuffed up. And my eyes are sticky. On the drive to get my haircut-the sun was way too bright. And I annoyed a bunch of people by driving real slow. I haven't been out driving in a very long time.
Sigh. Well I've bored you long enough. I am going to finish my coffee and then look for some paperwork I need for our taxes and then sit on the couch with my heating pad and rest my eyes.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Daily Notes- March 13th
My Goodwill find from last Sunday. The San Diego Zoo mug. Made in China. So I am not that interested in using it for hot liquids as the Chinese are known to use harmful trace elements in the glazes and some of the Chinese things get very hot in the microwave. But just seeing the happy giraffe makes me smile. I may keep art supplies in it.
I did get my vegetable soup made and managed to eat two bowls (small) in the time period for eating yesterday. It turned out to be difficult to eat soup. Made my jaw hurt. I might have to chop everything into much smaller pieces. I continue to hope I will wake up one morning and my jaw will be normal. Just the opposite of the morning I woke up and it hurt.
I am reading C. J. Sansom's latest Tombland. Weighs about ten pounds and is all of 866 pages. I am on page 71. This is a Shardlake novel with the hunchbacked lawyer/detective. The series began with Cromwell dismantling the monasteries for a very young Henry (Dissolution) and sending out Shardlake to take inventory of the valuables. He often found murder. Now years have passed and Henry is dead and Elizabeth is 15 and her half brother Edward is King. The murder in this book happens on Boleyn land.
I have waited many years for this new book.
Riley was up and barking at just after 4 am and needed to go out and scout the back yard. Something had been out there. G said Riley covered the entire yard, sniffing. Instead of coming back to bed, G fell asleep on one of the couches. Riley came back to the bedroom to keep me safe. So our sleep patterns were disrupted. Perhaps it was one of the rabid foxes that have been found in Town. Walkers in the Commons behind our property carry golf clubs--so they can fend off a fox if it attacks. So many wild animals out in the woods. Deer, moose, fox, fishers, raccoons just to name a few. No rabbits. For obvious reasons. No cats survive outdoors either. Chickens fall victim to the fox and to hawks flying overhead. This is laughably called a "residential" area. We even see eagles now and then. Used to see ducks when the vernal pond out to the west filled with water. But we've had drought conditions for so long--the pond has been dry.
While writing my morning pages this morning--my pen ran out of ink. I had to get a new one out of the cup where I keep pens. That might be the last Pilot. Then what?
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Daily Notes- March 12th
Got to bed very late (the Dog was not happy about it) because I just had to finish Jane Harper's The Lost Man. It's off the 7 day shelf at the library and has to go back today (there may be a one day fine) and --well, I just couldn't have stopped if I had wanted to. This is her third book and they are all so well worth the read. Australian. Hot, dry, heat. A hard life.
My eyes are tired and dry today. Sticky.
My picture at the top-- from my Life. The thread tangle in one of the file drawers. I purchased this inexpensive rolling stack of drawers years ago. In each drawer, I had sorted different kinds of paper--magazine pictures etc. For using "later". It's all gone now. Two drawers hold thread. Two hold beads. A few hold nothing. Stacked on top are my plant based dye trials. I am sorting my Life. If I haven't EVER used something I have been saving--I let it go. I'm 72 and starting to realize- Time is running out. Need to actually work with what I have and let go of things that are dragging me down.
Am texting with my daughter about what she is baking right now. Peppers stuffed with riced butternut squash and vegan sausage and tomato sauce. She'll add real cheese at the end. She eats a mostly plant based menu but still eats off Plan. Yes. I am texting while blogging. Who is this person I am becoming?????
Haircut this week. It's bit out of control right now. Always like this right before it gets cut. I feel like the guy on MSNBC --the black guy with the wild white thing going on on top of his head. He's usually a guest commentator. My hair has thoughts of doing that. Standing on end but it can't because it's too soft. No amount of product will get my hair to stand upright on my head. I tried.
I have a list here on the desk--- How To Change Your Life. Number One is: Start very small. Aside from the Morning Pages - I am trying "intermittent fasting" this week. A trial run. I am limiting my eating of food--whatever it is-- to the hours between 10 am and 4 pm. Today I read in the morning paper that they say 10am to 8pm. Synchronicity. I am thinking about something and there it is in the newspaper in the morning.
Yesterday--before today's morning paper- I had thought about 10 am to 5 pm. It's actually difficult to manage getting all the food for the day into this period of time 10 to 4--if you have other things going on. I found myself wanting to eat one more thing--a chopped vegetable salad-- and it was past 4pm. So I did. And felt like I had let myself down. Not that I am eating more food or anything. It's just that after breakfast (at 10) I start doing things and before I know it --it's 2 or 3 or 4 pm. And I have had nothing substantial to eat.
Planning is what I actually need to be doing. Preparing a meal after breakfast (to eat later) and then start doing other things. Like my daughter is doing. Last year at this time I was making pot after pot of the vegetable soup and eating that. Well, that's what I am going to do write after I return my book to the library. Make a big pot of vegetable soup.
Monday, March 11, 2019
Daily Notes- March 11th
I found this lovely wheel in with the blank journals on the book shelf a few days ago. You place the empty hole (lower right) over your fabric and see what colors "work". I did this with the strange fabric I had intuitively chosen for the Stormy Diamonds and was surprised that it "worked".
I always choose to doubt my color sense. Born with it-- so those kinds of things are hard to actually think about. When you have to work to develop something--like drawing eyes and a nose or a body correctly--then you actually know you have that talent. Some thing that just "exists" doesn't register at all. This color wheel belonged to my friend Gregor. It was in with her art supplies. I donated all but the color wheels.
I have a 7 day book that is due tomorrow and I haven't begun reading it yet-- That is what I plan for today. Yesterday's snowfall ended with rain--just after G finished snowplowing. So--ICE. So, no chance of walking around Town or anything like that. I could have done it yesterday but I got hooked on watching the Librarian Mysteries on Hallmark. The night before we watched the Avengers. Robots, Hulk, Captain America etc.
We're having a very slow start today. But early. I had a load of wash in the machine before 9am. I am thinking G and I will have leftovers today and cleanup the fridge. It's pretty full of assorted odds and ends. Lots of fruit. I really don't like eating cold fruit on cold days. But Winter is citrus fruit time.
Weird dream last night--yes, sigh, weird dreams are back. This one, I was in a car (as a passenger) but wanted to get out because my "stuff" or belongings were NOT in the car with me and I wanted to get out and go get them. Does this mean I'm in a Life that is not mine and want to get out and be with the things that are mine? Should have been what I wrote about on the pages this morning.
I am now into week three of the Morning Pages and I have two pages of "Tasks" to work on when I am not writing. First one is to describe in detail my childhood bedroom. We are also working with Synchronicity. I am supposed to put "something"--and idea or an actually thing--out there as something I want and wait and see if the Universe provides. The Author suggests a list of clothing items--so I am going to ask-right here and now for-- a new (used) cashmere sweater, shawl collar in a color that the Universe thinks I need to be wearing, three pairs of the black socks I love, a long loose linen tunic, And some really comfortable underwear.
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Daily Notes- March 10th
Sketches of a baby quilt I saw on Pinterest. Really cute. Could also be made with just four or six little animals. Your favorites or the ones the baby in your Life likes best.
Today was a slow day. I forgot to do my Morning Pages before breakfast. Had to do them later at about 11am. And they were different written at that Time. The words had trouble coming out onto the pages. So, I learned something. The Spring Ahead Time Thing also caught me by surprise. I didn't realize until after 3 pm.
Goodwill--it started snowing as we drove there. I spent 3 dollars. A half yard of a very pale blue printed cotton--lots of stars. Would make sweet burp cloths for a baby. Not sure the fabric is "strong" enough for a quilt. I also bought two cute mugs. Someone donated their entire mug collection to our Goodwill. I got an adorable giraffe mug (very colorful image) from the San Diego Zoo and G got a colorful Donald Duck mug (he collects Donald).
Today's Mug Cake was Cheesecake. And it was delicious. A bit tedious in the making --cookie crumb crust and then the cheesecake filling and then microwaving in 45 to 50 second increments on 50% until it was set and THEN 30 minutes in the freezer to chill. I used orange flavored thin cookies for the crust. I like that there is only one serving. No leftovers.
I had a morning shower, changed the bedding and got everything into the washer and dryer and folded and put away. Read the paper but didn't get to the computer until just a few minutes ago-
21:21 now, that's not normal for me.
I have quite a few errands for tomorrow--the post office, the library, the Town Office to pay our property taxes and somewhere to buy our annual Turbo Tax program. And right now---I am going to bed--I am exhausted.
Saturday, March 09, 2019
Daily Notes- March 9th
I need to take more pictures. Another page in the drawing journal--not art--just scribbles. I have a new pile of chairs to draw--the library hallway has a table where visitors can exchange or drop off old magazines. I picked up a few Architectural Digests. Very strange looking chairs.
I also noticed 4 current National Geographics on the table. A Christmas Gift subscription? Never opened. Never read. I picked them up for G as he likes to read National Geographic. I like the pictures. They didn't have any interesting cooking or art magazines yesterday.
Stormy Diamonds gifted me with a long string of diabolical problems right up to the end. That is the last time I adopt orphan blocks. I had to use scraps to make the last block, sew and unsew borders, add inches to sashing that I had measured twice (wrong) and then......it was the wrong size for the hospital..so I had to take apart everything and then redo, resew, re-magiver everything. I still have one final border to add all around to get to the specified size. And even though it looked wonderful in the glaring light at JoAnn's--I am seriously thinking of using the faded backside of the fabric instead of the brighter front side. Repeat......no more orphan blocks--EVER. And that was all yesterday afternoon. But now it's starched and all seams are ironed open and we are so close to the finish line and the post office hand off to Connie. Just that final 2 inch outer framing border. And Connie--you might use it as the binding. Already sewn on.
My jaw is aching. My fault, I toasted a bagel for breakfast. Too much chewing.
I watched Hallmark yesterday after the trip to JoAnn's (horrid fabrics), Chinese restaurant for late lunch, and then home to stand in front of the sewing work table and stare at the Stormy Diamonds top and......well, walk away. I was done sewing for the day. So, Hallmark. The Mysteries channel. And then it got too late for me to have my chocolate mug cake. The cocoa powder would keep me from sleeping. Which tied the bow on a very difficult day.
I'm trying this eating thing I read about in one of the magazines I did find at the library. Eating from 10 am to 4 pm and then not eating (fasting) after 4 until the next morning at 10 am. Which was why I didn't get any chocolate mug cake. I can tell you--I was very hungry when I woke up this morning.
The Dog is loading up on water so he and G must be heading out for their Daily Walk. I'm going down to the sewing room and cutting borders. Sewing borders and then a final steam and starch.
Friday, March 08, 2019
Daily Notes- March 8th
The view from the front door. The steps are cleared of snow and ice and sprinkled with sand. The sidewalk is a sheet of ice. The day I took this picture there was no sunshine. Today and yesterday we had sun but still so very cold. The outdoor thermometers read 20. Our drive is a curve starting next to the mailbox and cutting diagonally across the lawn and up against the side of the garage which faces east. This is the north side of the house. The cold side. Winter black and white.
Yesterday was a bad day and I got through it with the help of a my dear internet friends. Thank you. I even reworked my Life Circle (which was such a bummer) with insight from Grace. I now have a nice expanded star shape. My dots are closer to the edges. I am counting my blessings as the old song says. And I am thinking a visit to the Magic Attic counts as an Artist Date. It is the Magic Attic and always an adventure.
I watched a Hallmark movie yesterday. About a doctor and a pear orchard. One of the October Harvest Movies. While watching I was reminded of Dee's Hallmark Bingo Game which uses plot devices in the Bingo squares. "meet cute" was cars meeting on a one way bridge and each person thinking they had the right of way and it also involved "mechanical failure". We had more than one "misunderstanding". All the movies share the same set of formula plots. The movie wasn't all that bad. The night before I watched three episodes of a mystery series. Top quality production which is far BEYOND the usual standard.
Connie asked about the pie. No, I didn't make it. Bake it. I would have been the only one eating it as G is in his "picky eater" phase. I did get a bag of Texas Red Grapefruit and peeled and segmented them for easy eating with yogurt. I bought vanilla Icelandic yogurt. I also got a bag of Cara Cara oranges for snacking while watching evening television. I am trying to finish off the pot roast leftovers. Still some mashed potatoes so I might get G to eat some. He doesn't usually like leftovers. But I will need to make some fresh coleslaw.
I haven't even thought about a plan for today. I have some excellent books from the library that I could start reading. I have some sashing strips to sew. I have dirty floors that need the vacuum. The pants I am wearing need some re-mending (patch) alongside the zipper- and this time I should NOT use white thread!!!! These are my favorite LLBean bargain pants. Someday the seat of the pants will wear thin and I will be devastated. But will still try to patch them. Boro.
Thursday, March 07, 2019
Daily Notes- March 7th
A quote I have written in my journal. I think, at the Time, I was feeling sad about lost friendships. People disappearing from my Life even when we were close. And then..finding Zeshan B and Hallelujah. Such a rush of emotion listening to him sing. Tears.
Woke again today from a leaden sleep. No stiff neck this morning. But still under the muffled effects of deep sleep. Which is quite rare for me. Foggy headed. Sticky eyes. Smeared vision. Buying new drops for my eyes in an hour or so. The Man and the Dog are out walking in our brittle cold weather. The Woman sits here in front of a screen trying to make contact with other Humans. I could just as well be on Mars.
I am considering whether I might bake a pie today.
I am going to buy fruit when we go to the grocery this afternoon. Red grapefruit from Texas, I hope or Cara Cara navel oranges. Colorful. Sweet. Tart.
The Morning Pages are taking something away from the blog. I sit here and feel empty of thoughts. Did I already express today's share of thoughts in the three pages I wrote before breakfast? I couldn't write those words here. But perhaps the take away is that I need to get out more, talk more to real people, do more work on being creative.....live less inside my head.
One of the exercises this week was to make a circle and divide it into 6 wedges. Writing a specific part of Life on the outside edge of the wedges. We were instructed to place a dot for each question asked - close to center for "no", close to outer edge of circle for "yes". How satisfied were we with...............? All my carefully placed dots were close to the center of the circle. Then we were asked to connect the dots. My dots formed a tight little circle near the center. That circle made me cry.
We seem to think we are happy and then six dots on a circle tells you the truth about how you feel about your Life.
Wednesday, March 06, 2019
Daily Notes- March 6th
The Bead Drawer in the rolling file cabinet. "Pictures of my World". I see there's a red lid for one of the Working Jars I buy at Crate and Barrel. I woke up with a painful left jaw and a crick on the right side of my neck. I just stopped writing to rub some Arnicare gel into the neck muscles. I have tried the gel on the side of the jaw but it doesn't seem to work. I'll take two Tylenol.
I slept like a heavy bag of cement last night. And am still trying to keep my eyes open.
I got my Morning Pages done and worked on two lists that were in the Task section of Chapter Two. I also numbered my pages as I lost count of how many days I did the pages.
We went out yesterday looking for the dry mouth candy the dentist office had on the counter. G had his annual teeth cleaning. No luck with the brand the dentist had but we did find another kind they drug store was happy to order. It's not a place we use regularly. They also stocked the Aveeno Calming Overnight Cream my daughter gave me for Christmas. I like it. Moisturizes my dry skin and makes it look nice. Expensive (I think). I had the "talk" with myself being worth the nearly $20 for a tiny jar of night face cream. I needed to be convinced.
I had started a mason jar of seeds for sprouts. I rinsed and drained the seeds twice a day and they were very slow to do anything. This morning I added the tiny sprouts to the cream cheese on my bagel. They were delicious. The seeds themselves were tiny. Next batch with bigger seeds.
I have been seeing many blogs disappearing due to Instagram. A picture and a few words and the heady delight of piles of "likes" after years (yes) of very few comments. It's easier to just press "like". As much as I like pictures--I like words more. I like reading the wonder filled things some bloggers write several times a week. Or just once a week. Few write everyday. They write things that get me thinking. Perhaps the solution is to have a "like" button on the blogs? No comment just a calculator tabulating "likes". I also see blogs turning into "businesses". Advertising products, services and "catered adventures" usually in Bali.
I will need to figure out how to delete blogs from my blogroll. And get used to Instagram.
Tuesday, March 05, 2019
Daily Notes- March 5th
My stack of squares and circles. Just as is, no editing.
Dorie Greenspan was of little interest in book form. I did write out the recipe for the Winter Pasta with winter squash, cabbage, cranberries and walnuts that was featured in the podcast. And the lemon goop. That's what Dorie calls it. And some poached pears which brought back a memory of a visit long ago to my brother's house. He presented us with perfectly poached pears. Like an old master's painting. Singular.
The new CJ Sanscom book is waiting for me at the library. Be still my heart.
Reading The Year of Less and it is a slog. The author has few redeeming qualities. She has a financial blog whatever the hell that is, but was 30K in debt, a drunk and......I'll call it. A loser. I'm on page 95 of 170 and hold little hope of understanding why anyone wanted to publish this or why she wanted to write about this Life (?) she leads. It all began when she couldn't find her can opener. ( I thought the book had promise at that point because it's such an odd beginning sentence) In addition, another reader has thoughtfully penciled in little check marks along the pages. I have been thoughtfully erasing them.
MSNBC is too much for me this week. So, I am taking a break from news. Our PBS station is fund raising for the next 10 days so there is no programing there to watch. Hallmark Mystery......I think tonight there might be something with a bit of tooth. Last night's Mystery Woman--- so, so bad. The Flower Shop Mysteries are a close second in so, so bad. I had always enjoyed the Signed, Sealed, Delivered Mysteries but they have been moved to "pay per view".
There was a Pickles cartoon in our morning newspaper. An older married couple is featured in this strip. This morning they were both complaining about needing new eye glasses as they couldn't see anything. Seems they had on each other's glasses. G laughed out loud when I gave him the clipped cartoon.
My Morning Pages. Whatever is happening with the three pages of writing whatever comes into your head and out in the pen....I am sleeping soundly. I've never sleep well. I never slept as a baby. I never slept as a child because if I stayed awake, nothing bad would happen. It happened anyway. But I am sleeping soundly. If nothing else comes of this exercise--that will be enough.
Monday, March 04, 2019
Daily Notes- March 4th
A new cookbook to read. The Way I Cook by Dorie Greenspan. And the Don't Eat Too Much / Mostly Plants Guidelines. I've watched a few of Dorie's -- what do they call them--little podcasts?--on the Bon Appetite feed that I get here on my computer. I asked for the book at my library to see if I actually like her recipes or just like watching her cook. Two very different things.
I also wrote these diet guidelines on one of my ever present index cards. I pinned it to one of the most used kitchen cabinet doors ( I don't stick things to the stainless surface of the fridge). As a reminder. I tend--normally, to eat this way if I have vegetables and fruit handy. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Produce at my grocery doesn't always excite me. I always like a salad but at times the stuff in the packages looks wilted already. At other times it looks pale and I like my vegetables to be colorful. And the vegetables at the local Farmer's Market in Season is fantastically EXPENSIVE.
We did get the promised snowfall and G is out for the second day in a row, clearing the driveway. I have on my newly washed rosy pink thermal shirt. I have the sleeves of my sweater turned back so I can see the rosy cuffs. Delightful. I did my Morning Pages and also did a few "tasks". Five enemies in my Life. Twenty Things I Enjoy Doing. And by mistake, I also did a list of Twenty Things I Like which was fun.
Later today or tomorrow (or the next day) I will do the circle charts. I also had to write a list of jobs -professions I would have liked doing. And guess what--in some form or other I have been involved in all of them. I wrote Journalism on the list and I worked on a newspaper in the advertising department. Teacher and I teach classes on gardening. The only job I didn't get--I applied--was to learn to bake bread for a bakery job. I would have had to get up early early in the morning to make the bread dough. I still think it would have been a wonderful job. But I do bake bread here at home. Not loaves and loaves of it but for a year or so, I made the bread in the dutch oven that was so "trendy"-- it was delicious but I was the only one eating it. And that had to STOP.
One of my favorite things to do--is this. Writing the Daily Notes.
G is going to the dentist for his 6 month cleaning and checkup in the next 20 minutes. I am going to sew more Stormy Diamonds to the vertical sashing while he is gone and then try out the new horizontal sashing. See how it all looks. One never really knows how things are going to look stitched together. But I am going to "dial down" my inner critic on this Goodwill fabric project and just get it done. Move on to something else that isn't quite so problematic. Like those French circles.
Sunday, March 03, 2019
Daily Notes- March 3rd
Collected magazine pictures of chairs. When I have enough--and who knows what that even means-I will open the drawing journal and make pencil line drawings. The outer edge of each chair. That pale green one looks cozy.
We woke up to snow and G went out very early and got it all cleared off. It's 40 now and the drive is all black asphalt-ice surfaces melted. He also put the neighbor's New York Times by her front door. Last Sunday she drove her car out of the garage to pick the paper off the drive and I felt we should have gotten the paper for her. Snow covers ice. Life gets dangerous. And she is just getting over her broken arm surgery.
Snow coming later today--8 to 10 inches. After Goodwill (a black and cream Bean stripe tee and my absolutely favorite item of clothing from Bean--a long sleeved thermal knit shirt. In rosy pink--I only have cream and grey. Rosy pink. And it's old and broken in and soft. I will probably be wearing it for the remainder of Winter. Like every day. Looks amazing with my charcoal sweater. Will look amazing with the soft dark grey sweater. What a find!!!!
My other purchase was a one dollar bag of misc. beads- not even a quarter cup in volume. I can't wait to get my bead bowl out and add them to the mix. I like to sit and stir the beads. Meditate. No two are alike. Goodwill was also selling someone's entire bead collection--sorted into those containers I use for embroidery floss. Ordinary beads. I looked at each and every box--like 20 boxes. Nothing sparked joy. The little bag did. Deb's bead soup did.
Visit to JoAnn's to look at fabric. Sigh. I bought a blue print with tiny stormy diamonds as the overall pattern. It seemed like it was meant to be. I mean- stormy diamond pattern??? What are the odds? The blue might not match but at this point I have spent more effort on this project than is warranted. I want to move on.
I need to eat some lunch. Cranky.
I seemed to have skipped Morning pages for the first two days of March. I was doing the end of the week round up. I am sleeping much better. I am actually doing something to move projects forward. I am cleaning off the dining room table and putting projects away or actually starting to sew. I have even plugged in the iron and ironed things--seams open etc. Not much but...close up...it feels really good.
Saturday, March 02, 2019
Daily Notes- March 2nd
Years and years ago--around the Time of the Chicken Quilt--I became interested in "all things French" and started this project--- I think the idea was of a large bed quilt of circles appliquƩd on squares. I'd seen something like it in a book, magazine or a quilt shop.
I cut squares. Then cut freezer paper circles. cut the circles out and hand appliquƩd them to a square. They sat all these years--coming out occasionally for the Times I wanted to appliquƩ. It's a soothing occupation. No Time limit. The colors got away from me on the "edit" thingy on the new iPhone. the darks are not this dark. This piece is 20 inches square. Not good for a placemat.
I also have a stack of these in the brick red that is very French and the olive greens. This will need to be made in small-- batches--on the floor. Checking for color and pattern placement. I will probably unsew this square because I am thinking all the colors red, blue, gold and olive green should be co-mingled and a few seams aren't matched correctly. Toss all the squares into a grocery bag and picked out randomly. What is your opinion?
Yes. I want opinions positive and negative--it's how I learn. Le Critique. In college painting, printmaking and drawing classes it was brutal. I never made anything worthy of critique in Ceramics. In watercolor class I got an "oh" and an A for the semester.
I auditioned all the red and cream shirting I owned (not much) and found --with G's commentary--that none "worked" so I will be visiting Jo Ann's tomorrow after Goodwill to see what I can see. I have one strip of Stormy Diamonds sewn and will take that with me for "sea trials". See if anything "sparks" joy. The strip that I got sewn looks old fashioned, "prim" and adorable.
The amount of light in the greenhouse where the classes were held today-- fed my Winter soul. I left the house at 8:30 this morning and got back home at 2:30. No one showed for the 2pm class.
Snow is coming tomorrow into Monday. My employer mentioned 8 to 10 inches. Normal for Maine in March. Spring is Far Away.
Yesterday's Pot Roast was spectacularly delicious. G gave me three STARS.
Friday, March 01, 2019
Daily Notes- March 1st
That's what it's like here. You. Me. The Dog. The Dog is the first riser in the morning. G said, just now, that they were up at 6am. Now both are asleep. It's 9:22. Seems so much later. And it's finally March. Not much warmer or greener. Cold with snow cover on the ground. Cold Sunshine. Tomorrow all day at work with two classes and then the lunch hours. I'll be exhausted by the tine I get back home. I just don't seem to have the energy I used to have.
I chose a nice old fashioned "shirting" fabric for the Stormy Diamonds. Trimmed the diamonds quarter inch from the edges and cut the sashing yesterday. Ready for sewing. I am planning to sew the sashing and diamonds into rows of four. Then choose another fabric to sew between the rows. I may go up into the Attic to see what I have--a shirting again with a pale red print. If it looks as nice as I hope--and I can add enough borders to get it to baby quilt size--I'll send it off to Connie. Perhaps a baby will love being wrapped in it. If it doesn't work out-- then I can enjoy it as a placemat or two or three here at home.
I've been trying to think what I can do for the weekly Artist Date specified in the Artist's Way. This is my first week of Morning Pages. My only thought was perhaps using the packet of origami papers I got at Goodwill a few weeks ago--and fold something. But I think I am supposed to "get out" and do something in the community- would the Sunday Goodwill trip be good enough? Perhaps all this thinking and choosing of fabric is enough? What do you all think? I did walk around in the greenhouse yesterday when I dropped off things to be copied for class--- looked at all the new products, plants and seeds. And this morning I sorted out pictures of chairs I had torn from magazines etc. For use as models for chair drawings. Perhaps the Artist Date is just to get people out of the house????
I am making pot roast today. I also bought a green cabbage to make into coleslaw. We always had coleslaw with pot roast and mashed potatoes when I was growing up. Don't know why but it's habit now. Isn't it interesting how food habits evolve. I'm thinking it would have been something to ask my mother about--why she put those two items together. Was it something her family always did or was it something she noticed and liked in a restaurant meal long ago. Too late to ask now.
Another thing we always had was pie on Sunday while watching Walt Disney on television. Not at dinner but later in the early evening. We would have pie. Homemade a few times but mostly a frozen pie from the grocery store and if we were "in the money" we had ice-cream with it. Just a small scoop. When my brother visited he asked me to make pie for dessert. I hadn't thought to buy some ice cream.
I chose a nice old fashioned "shirting" fabric for the Stormy Diamonds. Trimmed the diamonds quarter inch from the edges and cut the sashing yesterday. Ready for sewing. I am planning to sew the sashing and diamonds into rows of four. Then choose another fabric to sew between the rows. I may go up into the Attic to see what I have--a shirting again with a pale red print. If it looks as nice as I hope--and I can add enough borders to get it to baby quilt size--I'll send it off to Connie. Perhaps a baby will love being wrapped in it. If it doesn't work out-- then I can enjoy it as a placemat or two or three here at home.
I've been trying to think what I can do for the weekly Artist Date specified in the Artist's Way. This is my first week of Morning Pages. My only thought was perhaps using the packet of origami papers I got at Goodwill a few weeks ago--and fold something. But I think I am supposed to "get out" and do something in the community- would the Sunday Goodwill trip be good enough? Perhaps all this thinking and choosing of fabric is enough? What do you all think? I did walk around in the greenhouse yesterday when I dropped off things to be copied for class--- looked at all the new products, plants and seeds. And this morning I sorted out pictures of chairs I had torn from magazines etc. For use as models for chair drawings. Perhaps the Artist Date is just to get people out of the house????
I am making pot roast today. I also bought a green cabbage to make into coleslaw. We always had coleslaw with pot roast and mashed potatoes when I was growing up. Don't know why but it's habit now. Isn't it interesting how food habits evolve. I'm thinking it would have been something to ask my mother about--why she put those two items together. Was it something her family always did or was it something she noticed and liked in a restaurant meal long ago. Too late to ask now.
Another thing we always had was pie on Sunday while watching Walt Disney on television. Not at dinner but later in the early evening. We would have pie. Homemade a few times but mostly a frozen pie from the grocery store and if we were "in the money" we had ice-cream with it. Just a small scoop. When my brother visited he asked me to make pie for dessert. I hadn't thought to buy some ice cream.
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