Daily Notes- July 2nd

Mending.  The knee on G's pants. Perhaps my cloth work should be more like my mending?  The going forward and then pressing the backward button and wondering where the needle will go--sort of like drawing.   I was looking for a strong cloth that would be soft --this is the knee of his favorite gardening pants.  I also mended a few other small circles.  How that happens--I don't know.  Perhaps on wire?  Snagging on wire fencing or something else.

Riley has finished his Amoxicillin and is now getting a blood test to see what his liver levels are.  They were in the mid-500's.  200 is where we would like them.  Nothing will fix his liver but perhaps he can have less pain and distress.  Riley doesn't know who we are sometimes during the day. There are days when he eats his three meals a day (he started this way as a puppy) and other days like today-when he refuses to eat anything.  There are days we let him go outside and he refuses to come back inside.  Ears back and terror on his face of us or the house.  Both.

My days look like my mending.  I cry often.  There is such anguish.  How will I deal with the loss of my husband or child if this is how I am with my Riley?  I am lost.

I can think of nothing else to type.  I need to go blow my nose.  I sit here with no kleenex or hankie. ill prepared for what I write here not expecting to write this anywhere but the Morning Pages.  Spilling over.  Sigh.  Forgive me but this is Life and blogs should reflect the truth.