Waiting & the Rest of the Story

My daughter brought over a bucket of tomatoes picked in Woolwich before an overnight frost. Must be a low area. We haven't had a frost yet and my tomatoes are still out in the garden on the vines. So I will wait and see if these will ripen. G likes fresh tomato soup.

Riley is waiting to go on yet another long walk. He has chipmunks to chase and birds to track and grasshoppers to catch and lick. He also has neighborhood dogs to visit and romp with. This dog's life is pretty great.

Riley let me sleep till 10am this morning. What a dog. He's curled around my feet as I type this. Licking all kinds of good things off my shoes. If a dog can love me--I can't be that bad a person, right?

My birthday experiences. Let it be stated here that the day was completely ruined and any tears shed that day were over my ruined birthday and not any painful guilt over wrong doings. They had two. In nine and a half years. Two. No coaching by my direct supervisor. At the time of the incidents I was told "don't do it again". Period. That was the extend of any warning, management or anything. Don't do it again. And I didn't. But when they needed ammunition for their attack--those two incidents were numbers 1 and 2. Number 3 was my blog. They read to me parts of my blog which offended them. Showed disrespect to them and the library. This post will also be thought to be disrespectful.

After one hour of this, I was expected to go out for coffee or lunch to "hash things out and clear the air". And then they announced to the staff at the desk that they "were whisking me off for a celebratory birthday lunch". I nearly vomited.

I did not eat. We did not hash things out. We didn't clear the air. They ate lunch and we talked about mundane items like mice and bats in the house. I had an iced coffee and tried not to be sick all over myself in public.

We returned to the library and the birthday congratulations of staff who were working and of the patrons who overheard. Hugs, smiles and good wishes. Can any of you imagine how strange and awful this was for me? I was in shock. Blindsided. And THEN, dear readers, I was expected to work the remaining two hours of my scheduled shift.

After work, went home to walk the dog, eat the birthday sushi a library patron had made for me and delivered to the library with a sweet note and sit and think. I decided I could not agree to the terms necessary to continue employment. I emailed. And during my work shift the next afternoon the director came down and announced that "Joanne is going home, now". So that was how my dream job ended. Joanne is going home, now.

I'm finding out that my daughter was very right about what would happen "after". That's when you discover who was really your friend all along and who was only a co-worker with no loyalty to you as a person. That's all sifting out right now and it's a revelation to me. I've never been in this situation before and I have worked all my life.

My husband was a corporate trainer for over 30 years and he was stunned by the incompetent and unprofessional behavior exhibited. Even at the store level in his business, job coaching was done in a more professional manner-- and not by college graduates or people holding a masters in business management. Rather, by people trained to manage employees effectively.

So that's the story. I was rude to one patron, once. Don't do it again. I made a statement that a staff member took offense to and complained about. Once. Don't do it again. I won't even get into to the fact that someone was standing right next to me when this statement was made and didn't hear anything offensive. Also, the statement as read and printed in a letter is incorrect. That isn't what I said. Or how I said it. They also don't have a record of what the staff member said to me. It involved a physical impossibility. I never did it again. Co workers not wanting to work with me? Who. I have worked with one person for over a year (11 hours a week) and she has no complaints. I asked. I think she would have noticed if I had "poor customer service skills". I think everyone would have noticed that over the nine and a half years I worked customer service. I don't think I would have been given performance increases if I had such poor skills. Disrespect? Guilty. I am posting this.

Status Report

The kahlua chocolate birthday cake was (is) delicious. I recommend it to all of you and will print the recipe as soon as the cake effects wear off.

The birthday pot roast dinner was fantastic. Slow roasted all day, with mashed potatoes, green peas and cole slaw. All my favorites.

I got great presents.

I got fired.

I am now free to do a shocking library "tell all" posting. But not right this minute. LOL

Sometimes we think things will be awful and when they happen--it turns out to not be awful. It turns out to be good. I am happy about the turn of events even though they were exceptionally bizarre. And trust me -- it was bizarre. I will miss my friends. I hope they will believe what they know in their hearts is true of me and discredit the things that will be said which are not true. I am the person you always thought you knew. Trust that knowledge.

I have no regrets other than not walking out of yesterday's meeting a free woman. I let them ruin my birthday. And I cried because they ruined my birthday.

Today my family and friends did what they do best and made me happy again. Thank you!!!!! All of you, from California to Germany, your support and love has made all the difference today!

Status Report

It's My Birthday

Today I am 61. I wore a blue dress that I bought in 1987. Twenty years ago I was this size and weight. Sort of a time warp thing. When I began this "healthy eating plan" I set a goal of wearing the blue dress--a favorite of mine-- on my birthday. Nine months later I actually can wear it.

This will be a birthday I remember forever. For good reasons and for terrible reasons. The terrible reasons won't be discussed here until I discuss my First Amendment Rights and my blog with an attorney. Yeah. Terrible.

A friend brought "birthday sushi" to the library for me. I just finished it for dinner. Delicious as always. I think I could eat my friend's homemade sushi everyday. Just amazing.

The comments wishing me a happy birthday have been welcome. You are all so very dear to me! Who knew I would make such enduring friends in such an electronic forum.

Both of my children have called and we had wonderful conversations. My two dear girlfriends both took time to call even though they are very busy. My walking buddy called early to schedule a "birthday walk" and we did 3 miles and laughed and talked the whole time. My co worker and friend surprised me with a fabric bouquet. Very nice surprise and thoughtful. I was even surprised to be invited to a birthday lunch by two of my co workers today with the hour when I should have been working covered by another co worker.

Right now I'm tired, confused, questioning everything, wondering if I should even be posting. Life does come at you fast.

Happy Wedding Anniversary

Thirty nine years. And with no actual "Will you marry me" from G. Nope. Never asked. And no engagement ring either. I did get a wedding ring. Nice wide gold band. And now I have diamonds.

We've had good years and really awful years. But we take care of each other and are good company on long car rides and winter evenings. We garden well together also. And make each other laugh.

Today I was happy to be married to him. I was sitting in my "breakfast chair" talking to G and watching the puppy play and looked up and what to my wondering eyes did appear--a BAT. Clinging to the silk lining of the hanging lamp shade. G calmly collected the BAT, showed it to me and the pup and then took it outside. A BAT in my HOUSE!

Now I think we may have to move to a house without a BAT.

Oh, G thought TOMORROW was our anniversary. He has only remembered it correctly once--our twenty year. With flowers (20 white roses), dinner and a diamond wedding band presented with raspberry cheesecake-- my favorite. Lovely memory!

September Roses

The Japanese beetles moved on to other places this year and I have a small vase of rose buds on my counter. In other years, before Japanese beetles, I could gather a vase of large rose blooms in September --for our anniversary. Maybe next year.

Here I am. Sixty pounds less of me. Today I wore pleated slacks with a white tee TUCKED in and my small belt on the last hole. People were very complimentary. Said I was just "wasting" away. I would prefer "waisting" away. Still room for improvement in the midriff area. And upper arms.

On Monday Riley ate a "bad" mushroom and got very sick. Vomited for almost an hour. G took him to the vet along with the remainder of the mushroom. Riley ate the fungus on my watch and I had taken the uneaten parts out of his mouth and saved it in case it was "bad". Then I went to work and G got home and the fun began. Riley is on boiled beef and rice. The vet also filled Riley's tummy with liquid charcoal to counter the poison. Riley is FINE. No worries. But he did scare G. I'm just relieved that it was gastric and not neurological. Cause I love that dog.

G and I searched the yard for mushrooms and filled a quart garden pot with them. I dug them up with my newly manicured nails. See how much I care! The mushrooms are round, low to the ground and covered with tiny dots. Cruel. My favorite pattern (dots) on poison mushrooms. I think I will have to make a "evil" quilt about these mushrooms with "bad" dots rather than happy ones.

September

I'm borrowing an image from a blogging friend. It really and truly suits me. In the Chinese calendar I'm a DOG. And an artist. And messy. And usually dressed in blue.

September. My birth month. I think of the whole month as MINE! So I will be unbearably cheerful and bouncy this month. Going to be married 39 years on the 15th and be 61 years old on the 18th. I'm hoping one of those occasions involves cake and ice cream.

I FINALLY made it to SIXTY POUNDS LOST. All of July was one big plateau and I didn't gain any weight and perhaps lost 3 pounds for the whole month. August was better and I made the effort to walk three or four miles a day. There were also a number of 800 calorie days in August. Not good but I wasn't hungry.

Riley is now old enough to walk several miles a day without danger of injury to growing hip joints. And this pup has the longest legs! And his head is getting so big (he's smart) and his coat is so shiny and guess what? He loves me. And I love him. I don't even mind that he smells like a dog. And believe me, that's something!

September is also the month when something is in bloom that makes my nose run like a faucet. I wish I knew what it is. Ragweed? Goldenrod? Could be any of the grasses with seed heads. Anyway, I am never far from my hanky.

I have to call and give the central vac guy the okay to replace the existing system with a new system and install an extension into the second floor so I can vacuum the guest suite and the stairs. Won't that be nice? He's also going to place the collection tank in the garage for easy emptying and as an added bonus-- we'll be able to vacuum out the cars with the central vac hoses. And I have to find doggie day care for Riley for Friday when G is at work and I have a Master Gardener class. Landscaping.

My brother is calling the bank to straighten out my Dad's annuity. The annuity my Dad says he never bought. I guess we've entered that scary part of elder parent care. Glad my brother offered to help me out on this. I was out of my depth with banking stuff. Especially "you say- he says" discussions.

So, 2 mile walk and an allergy tab and it's Tuesday so G and I will be grilling hamburgers for lunch. Well, I'll have a veggie burger but it's delicious. Tomorrow Indian food with a friend. It's all good this week. September. What's not to love???

New Work Surface

My work surface of choice this week is the bedroom floor. Carpet. At the end of the king four poster. I get to look at the progress (or lack) on my way in and out of bed and while gazing into the closet for wardrobe choices.

I'm working on a background of three pieces of fabric. There have been many changes and the butterfly is on hiatus. Everything I didn't like was replaced with things I like-NOW- and could stay or go as the day goes. I also have some branches sewn down. And two flowers. May make some more flower heads just to see what happens. And I'll be playing with leaf shapes.

Riley is walking a mile twice everyday. Sometimes in the morning with me and sometimes with G. Then again after work. I go to work. Riley chews on his bedding. He is loosing puppy teeth. We have salvaged 2 so far. He wants to eat them. Tooth Fairy Time.

Riley has a theme for Fall-- so many acorns: so little time. He chews and eats as many as he can get to on his walks. This is Maine and the road and yard are full of them. Also mushrooms or fungus--which he LOVES. I have to pry his jaws open to get them away from him.

I know that dogs are carnivores but Riley loves blueberries, raspberries, green beans and today he sampled zucchini when I sliced some for zucchini bread & butter pickles. Some one FINALLY took pity on me and gifted me with a big sack of zucchini. Thank You!!!!! I inserted some jalapeno peppers into the mix. The "pickle with the tickle". That would be Jack's Pickles made in Maine. The whole house smells like onions, vinegar and sugar with mustard seeds. Yummy. I water processed 6 pint jars. I need to make a second batch (and find more zucchini) to make enough to last all year. We have local zucchini on sale at our regular chain supermarket--and I may have to buy some. Fresh is so much better for pickles.

Three little cherry tomatoes are turning from green to yellow green so I may have three tomatoes to eat by Monday. I have tons of little green cherry tomatoes and just hope that September is good and sunny. I usually freeze bags of them (ripe) for a special pasta sauce G and I love. 10 or 12 quarts last year. I roast the tomatoes in a hot oven with olive oil and salt and pepper for 20-25 minutes, cool and bag. Sungold is their name. Sweet and tasty.

Had way too many green beans. Didn't blanch and freeze any because I was too lazy. Did roast them with EVOO and salt and peppper in a hot oven. Very good. Roasted veg are so nice.

I also have about 8 cucumbers on the counter and eat them with salt. Nice snack.

Progress-- Sort Of

This was one of the "quick fire" 15 minute small pieces from the Pamela Allen class. We each got the little printed face/head and had to "finish the picture" in some way. When I got this home I pulled off everything except the background and the dog. I found the dress and shoes on some printed commercial fabric and added the pink with green dots to make the space work and give the house something to sit on top of.

The velvet fish now has some gold stretchy cord giving it some definition. I added the little bouncey fringe (which I dye painted) and a fussy cut bunch of radishes from some commercial fabric. I still want to attach the lemon but haven't yet. I removed all the Pamela style primitive needle work as it just isn't "ME" and instead sewed everything down with invisible thread and a zigzag stitch on the machine. Cuz that IS me.


This has all been topstiched with invisible zigzag and now I'm doing a straight topstitch--sort of like big quilting in the violet purple pearl cotton #8. Some of the lines of the center fabric have been extended to the quilt edge with velveteen in a mossy green. Some new branches and flowers have been added along with the addition of flower centers cut from some commercial printed fabric.

All the flowers have been cut from my small collection of Wunder Under'ed fabrics and ironed down onto the dotted surface. Now that I have learned the most important lesson from Pamela Allen--to define the background into a recognizable surface (interior, exterior, landscape etc) I realize this will never amount to anything as the flat background will be a negative to the viewer. The dotted fabric doesn't "say" anything. No depth of perspective. The small square in the lower left is auditioning as a possible "table" or surface on which the vase can comfortably sit (it will stretch across the entire bottom if chosen and I will have to heat up the WU and try and lift those flowers on the lower right off the surface and on top of the "table").

What I had hoped to be working on right now. A large butterfly. I may replace the lower third fabric. It calls too much attention to itself. And the fabric (a long sleeve wrap top) that I got at Goodwill IS the perfect color, print etc for the butterfly ( you get a peek in the upper right corner). Nothing else is working well and will eventually be replaced.

What I have done today: walked one mile alone, walked one mile with dog, watched dog sleep so husband could weed back flower beds ( I was wanting to keep dog out of the crate since it's so hot here today but if he's out of the crate, he follows us around and won't sleep--so I watched cooking shows and dog got bored and went to sleep), made husband's lunch, continued to watch dog, baked husband some chocolate chip cookies since he "needs" dessert, forgot to turn off oven when finished (even hotter in here), started this post, called by husband to help give dog a bath, cleaned bathroom after bath, cleaned up wetting accident in spare bedroom (husband can not remember that puppies need to go outside to pee after every exciting thing--which includes a bath), now watching puppy so husband can take a shower. I think husband and puppy are going for a ride in the car so I will have 20 minutes to myself. Oh boy!

They are bringing back dinner. Happy dance!

Wednesday

Discussion Questions at the end of this post.

So far, this week has been fun but I haven't gotten to read or create anything. I have tomorrow and the weekend to do something as my husband is off work and there will be two of us doing puppy stuff.

Riley is getting to be happy to see us and barrels over and hits me in the knees with all 44 pounds. So far I haven't fallen over. I sidestep as best I can. Nothing in the world like the happy greeting of a puppy. 100%.

Cherry tomato spaghetti for dinner tonight with the last of 2006 tomatoes. And no ripe 2007 tomatoes yet--if ever--with the temperature dropping into the 50's at night. My fault for starting the seeds so late. I have winter squash growing, not many cucumbers and all green tomatoes and lots of little yellow tomato blossoms. My cabbages look fantastic.

I have a question for all the art quilters out there who make things to sell. Do you use a gallery or agent to sell for you? If not what do you do. Do you use "gallery" pricing? That means you double the price you want to cover the commission costs. I sell a few things but think I could do better with more exposure. A website with paypal is also an option. Any thoughts on that?

Sunday

August but feeling a lot like October. Maine. What a wonderland of temperature. The nights are getting into the high 40's inland but still in the 50's here by the coast. Sleeping is GREAT! And I start my walk each morning with long pants and a sweatshirt and each time I pass the mailbox (my own), I place a clothing item in until I'm in shorts and a tee. The neighbors are mum on this undressing. And since I walk past them a total of 6 times in the 3 miles--they do get to see the changes.

Today I weeded the back gardens and cut down the non-flowering lilac. To the ground. I've asked G to spray the whole garden with Round-Up and we'll start over next spring. Sometimes you just have to give up.

If the dog will cooperate I want to make a quilt today. Yep. A whole quilt start to finish. I may need to bind it tomorrow and add the hanging pocket but today should be enough time to make something. I want a field of flowers, blue sky and a butterfly. A Pamela Allen butterfly made of silks and velvets in rich yummy texture and color. I may return one pair of sweat pants I got at Goodwill yesterday and purchase this strange printed wrap thing. It's red with dots and I think I need it for fabric. So that's what I'll do.

Goodwill had two sequined dresses for sale. But too hard to stitch down. I'll leave them for someone to buy for Halloween costumes.

I think I'll feel 100% if I make something. I've been feeling like something is missing. The creative, edgy thing. And a butterfly seems to be what I want to make.

Wendy's southwest Taco Salad for dinner last night. OH! It was delicioso! I added a Romaine heart for more salad.

Today

Is he not the cutest dog evah?

G and I drove to New Hampshire for the World Quilt Show yesterday and it was okay. Each year it gets slightly less fabulous and slightly less attended. This year there were NO crowds. The traditional quilters were happy. Where's the art?

After the show we drove to Carrabas for our dinner. We had mussels in butter sauce with Pernod and good crusty bread. Salad. And I had a perfectly broiled tenderloin which was also perfectly seasoned. I chose both vegetables as side dishes but the grilled summer veg was spectacular. I even had dessert. (some of G's). The server said "boy, you both ate fast". Not a good comment to make. We didn't think we ate fast. We did make conversation.

Then home to pick up Riley from Doggie Day Care where he played with puppies from his litter and other started pups. The breeder will keep and train a puppy for the owner until the owner is ready to take the dog home. They have the complete obedience package. I have no idea how long the breeder will keep the pups but Riley's litter mates are 4.5 months old now. Riley was a started dog so he had some training before we got him. Yesterday the breeder worked on Riley's lack of interest in "walking". He likes to lay down in the road. Well. I don't know what she did to him--but he walks now. No pulling. Just walking. And mighty fast walking.

Riley went to sleep at 9 pm last night and we woke him up this morning at 8. Then he fell asleep again at 9. Doggie Day Care is some fabulous thing.

I picked cucumbers and green beans today and plan to have another Nicoise salad for dinner with tomatoes, green beans, half a potato, tuna, green pepper, olives and the hard boiled egg I got at the grocery salad bar. I wonder what one boiled egg costs? { 60 cents }

I also bought 2 melons and a pineapple to cube for the weekend. I am really excited about my diet again as I fit into size 14 pants now and it doesn't matter what brand. They all fit. And size large shirts. No more XL for this gal. I think we should schedule a parade.

I have stacks of plus size winter clothes to go to the resale shop in the next week or so. Plus size doesn't sell as well as 14,16,18. Six of the summer things sold and 10 items are still on sale. I get them back at the end. Fabric.

So What Have I Been Doing?

Riley is now Four Months old. He's been living here for 30 days. Seems like he's always been here. He is one very mellow dog.

I've been walking my 2 or 3 miles a day and eating my 1200 calories and going to work and trying to be nice to everyone (I was rude to one patron and got called on it) and I have actually read 3 books. And I may try to read another one.

I also unpiled the guest room bed--- took all the piles of "stuff" I stored on it off and now I have it stored on the vaccumed floor instead. Then I helped take the bed apart and my husband and daughter carried it out to the cart and tied it on and took it to Sam's house so she could move up to a real mattress and boxspring and not slats and a futon. She told the cats they now have a "grown-up" bed.

I picked cucumbers and green beans out of my weedy garden. No tomatoes. Sam gave me a big bagful of yellow summer squash which I fried with onion and it was delicious. Did I tell you this already?

I have NOT managed to get any fabric work done--other than loads of laundry-- and I am really sad about that. But I have been on puppy duty and have to do the "click and cheese" training for Obedience School each Wednesday. Riley has to keep his grades up. Next week he'll probably get a low grade as he refuses to even think about "go settle". I have my work cut out for me.

Riley found a dead squirrel hanging in an eye level bush yesterday. That section of the yard is now "the place" to go. I could have passed on that event as the crows had already found the body and removed the head. ICK doesn't begin to describe it. I could probably get Riley to "go settle" over by the dead squirrel but then I'd have to bring it to school to get him to do it for the teacher.

Manchester World Quilt Show on Thursday. Doggie Day Care for Riley. Dinner at Carraba's for G and me (we have dinner there and call it our Anniversary Dinner because we never have time to actually go out on the real anniversary date). We don't eat out on my birthday 3 days late either. What am I doing wrong?

DOG

The universe is a strange and magical thing. I can't even begin to understand the way things work. So I'm going to tell you a little story. Maybe you can figure it out.

After we gave our first puppy back to the breeder, I began to dream of a black dog who sat at the end of the driveway. In my dreams, the black dog was sitting there at the end of the driveway waiting. I thought it was unfinished business. Guilt. Remorse. Second thoughts. I would wake up crying. The dream always made me sad.

Now, after 2 months of thinking and dreaming, we have a second black puppy. A puppy who races down the driveway to sit at the end and wait. For me.

Fantabulous Sunday With Pamela

We worked on a larger scale; a portrait or face; and we worked on the same piece all day which was so much less hectic than the 5 pieces on Friday. Each of the pieces I worked on this weekend have bits of my handpainted fabric in them -- my personal touch. This piece is also personal to me as it's going to be all about the changes in my life regarding diet. The weighing, counting, measuring. The numbers. The tape measure. I may quilt sections of my food diary into the red background.

I always think these are clear and then they are blurry and I apologize. That's my painted polka dot fabric center stage in this photo along with 34 pounds and 56 pounds. I found the measuring tape fabric in one of the vendor booths. Love it. Pamela saw it and went straight down to get some for herself.

The neckline with red tape measure fabric. I think it is marketed along with the Dick and Jane stuff. A fellow student gave me two shades of organza for the head. Thank you!

I never did learn anything about embellishment in either of the classes. What I did learn was to make a background that says something. Interior, exterior, perspective, landscape. Then and only then begin making shapes for the subject of the quilt. And by this time the quilt may have other ideas on what that subject is. Your first idea is always the worst idea.

After the big shapes are in start hand stitching them down. Don't fiddle with the little bits. The big bits need doing first. Your hand stitching is like your handwriting. Each of us has their own personal style. Use it to your advantage. Say something. With the stitches. With the thread color.

Now begin to develop the big shapes. Divide. If something isn't showing up--cut a light or dark shape with scissors and place it behind. Leave it there if it works. Replace it if it doesn't. Cut 25 bits till you get the one that does the job. Hang the piece on the wall. Stand back. What bothers you? Change it. Fix it. Remove it. Make it bigger. Make it a different color.

Stand with scissors in hand. Work at free hand cutting of shapes. Trim on the quilt surface. Keep cutting and replacing until you get it right or decide to throw that whole section on the floor and stamp on it. Make something else. I really think it would be best to have 2 and possibly 3 pieces in different stages of development and move back and forth between them.

Quilt. Machine quilt with themes that mean something. In her hot flash quilt, Pamela has little fire engines complete with ladders and hoses racing to the "fire". Do word association to come up with things relating to your subject. In my quilt: measuring, scales, food diary, numbers, walking etc. Don't just make squiggles. NO echo quilting.

Bind.

And I guess this is where the embellishment happens. Pamela took an angel or fairy quilt and made it into a tooth fairy quilt with the addition of two boxes. One holds a nickle coin. One holds a tooth. The fairy has a crown made of dental mirrors. The story: the tooth fairy doesn't pay very well anymore. A nickle doesn't cover two tooth implants that Pamela needs.

So when it comes to embellishment I have been a "Premature Embellisher". I have cute stuff and want to make a quilt to use all that stuff. WRONG. When the quilt is all DONE it will let me know what it needs in the way of embellishment. I will just have to LEARN to WAIT. Well, damn!

Six Quilts with Pamela Allen

First of all, all the "pre-class work" was useless. We winged it. Pamela would give us a subject and color story and set us to work. Quilt in an hour. Usually less. Critque was valuable. Everyone got personal time--helpful artistic time --with Pamela. This is my second piece. Two colors across the color wheel from each other and a fish somewhere in the piece. My fish is velour. I have a styro lemon that I am wanting to stitch onto this SO BAD.

Our first project--and to start I had to rip the three background pieces off the a pre-made background and then dump all my black and white off cuts out and get going- fast. So this is a big bowl and white tomato. I did some additional stitching on the fish quilt and this one this afternoon.

Third piece. After lunch. We were given a chunk of weird fabric and asked to expand and continue the design. As little trimming of the original chunk as possible. My chunk had a branch to the right and then a wide brown space and that little "candle flame" leaf upper left and a partial leaf center bottom. Everything else you see-- I "made". I have since added some flowers to the "candle".

Fourth and running out of gas. Boy was I tired by the time we got to this one at 3 in the afternoon. Since I am in the "portrait" class tomorrow I got to choose a garden or landscape instead of the portrait the others worked on. They did GREAT! And Pamela and I think this was my best attempt of the day. I had fun making it.

I used some of my "Sonji style" painted fabrics in the fish and garden pieces and they are the personal part of the work. Pamela wants us to get personal with the work. She advocates hand sewing because each of us have "signature" ways of stitching--like handwriting.

I can't imagine what it would have been like to have taken classes with Pamela all three days. I needed today to rest and re group. And think. And sort my supplies. Tomorrow a self portrait. And the space and time to work on it for the entire day.

Pamela is doing a 5 day workshop in the Hudson Valley and she says it's better. The work gets done and the light bulb in the creative mind goes on and stays on.

But I do have to say our Friday class was minus all those things that make classes so frustrating. The teacher hog. The whiner. The know it all. The person who refuses to do the assignment. We all just did the work, learned from the critque, and kept going. And we all made 4 little quilts and one little postcard "quiz". Or "quick fire" as I named it. 15 minute time limit. Talk about stressful! Seacoast with clouds.

I hope Sunday's class is just as wonderful.

Oh, and the one hour in the car each way, on the highway, through a toll booth, past an 18 wheeler on fire, getting passed by every single car (who cares?) was SO hard. I was so tired when I got home. I could barely get to the couch and lay down.

Wednesday 7-25

Pins and Needles. Today Riley and I went to the Vet. All sorts of well puppy shots. Nails clipped. Weighed (35 pounds). Nice sitting. Overbite. Some concern on the hips. And then while I waited for the bill--which took forever--Riley peed on the floor. Big puddle. A $140 puddle.

I know you are all wondering how the dog and I are doing. If I had to use one word to describe our days together it would be "easy". I do believe in God and I think he provided this dog so we could --all three of us--be happy together. There is no other explanation.

Riley and I also did the ride in the car thing. A first for me. Had to pick him up and lift him in as he is still too short to get in by himself. Riley is VERY good in the car. I guess I shouldn't have said that. Jinx it. Car was also on "empty". G likes to wait till the last possible moment to get a fill.

Riley is now napping and I am making pizza for our Obedience School car trip (33 miles one way) this evening. We have "studied" the sit and the down with cheese reinforcement. Riley should continue to be "teacher's pet" (since the other dogs are 8 and 10 weeks). What a "good boy". And he likes when I sing "You Are My Sunshine" to him. Riley is possibly the only one who will ever like my singing.

Still trying to get my stuff together for my class on Friday. I did layer 6 scraps of fusible batting to backing fabric (polka dots) and just have to do the fronts. Pamela wants 3-4 fabrics in a nice backgroundish arrangement on each of the 6 pieces. Not easy. But I am making do with whatever is to hand in the wastebasket as usual. Will I ever use the shelves full of fabric in the closet????? I'm thinking the answer to that question is "NO". Why do I like junk so much more?

Well, pizza baking is complete. Time for Riley to have lunch and fetch a stick for exercise and then it's the crate for him and the library for me. We certainly are busy around here!

Oh, I read a book. Innocent As Sin by Elizabeth Lowell. I think she phoned it in. And I am a third into Stalin's Ghost by Martin Cruz Smith. Arkady. So completely written that I feel like I know him. A new Kurland awaits. Time travel romance. Summer reading. And, for my son, I would like a copy of How To Eat by Nigella Lawson for my birthday.

Blueberries

I always notice the *blur* after uploading. Sorry about that. Anyway, the pup loves blueberries and they are ready for picking right now. The wild ones. I shared some of the berries I picked in a vacant building lot with the dog and now he "picks his own". Riley can sniff the berries out and he has found several spots on our property with berries.

Riley also got to sample my raspberries and stops by the bushes to get some on his perimeter walk several times a day. Now those berries are MINE! Try telling that to a determined berry eating puppy.

It's been a good week. We went to obedience school and are working on "name recognition", "sit" and "down". With a clicker and string cheese. Though he will do the training for blueberries.

G is working the afternoon/evening shift this weekend so Riley and I will be bonding. Between naps (the dog) I will be trying to make my 6 foundation pieces for my class with Pamela Allen next Friday. I also have to make a larger foundation for a self portrait quilt next Sunday. And collect materials for embellishments. And fabric. Glue sticks. Scissors.

I also want to finally change the slipcovers on the two big sofas from winter blue denim to white and change the red and white antique quilt on the wall to a pink and yellow one. Summer is almost over and I'm not decorated! And if it stops raining, I plan to go pick raspberries (for me). Yesterday G and I munched on giant sweet cherries. I think we ate a full pound of them. So good. I love summer fruit. And I've been having iced coffee everyday. Loving that!

Hello

I still don't have a name. I like to take long naps, short walks and rest on my dog bed in between. I like to catch moths and swallow them and Joanne picked blueberries for me along the side of the road. They were good. I have a big head, long legs and a mellow attitude. Not much bothers me.

Anyone got any good name suggestions for this "old" soul?

Day Two

And so sweet. A completely different experience. I'm looking forward to 14 years of this.

No name yet. The kennel named him "patton" and a neighbor suggested calling him "general" but really he is way too sweet to be a general. Walks, sleeps, pees and tracks and catches moths. 14 weeks old. "Started" with obedience training at the breeder's.

"patton" and I sat out in the shade today, little breeze keeping the squitos away. I could have napped or read a book. He sat next to my chair chewing on a stick. For nearly an hour. And he's a puppy! So I suggested we go around the corner and get a drink of water and he ran over there and drank water. All by himself. Certainly smart.

Walked him down my neighborhood street yesterday (his first 2 hours living with us) and all the neighbors were home and out and got to meet "patton". He sat and said hello and when I proceeded to talk to everyone (I talk alot) he sat at my feet with his eyes on me. Waiting for our next move. When I talked too long---15 minutes or so, he gave one bark. I told him to wait. And he did. I told one neighbor I expected to wake up any minute because this HAD to be a DREAM.

Tucked him into the crate at 9 pm (some fussing and whining), potty at 11 and awake at 5:30 am. Nap at 7:30 am, nap at 10 am, nap at 12:30 am, well, you get the idea. He sleeps alot. Sits on his dog bed while I cook or clean and napped under the table while we ate dinner.

Speaking of dinner. I made guacamole for the very first time without a recipe. Two avocado, diced red onion and the juice of one lime. Salt and pepper. It was delicious! I think it worked because the onion was "spicy". Blue organic corn chips. And G is making coffee so I can chill the remainder for iced coffee tomorrow. Summer. What's not to like?

And I'm watching DiceK pitch for the Red Sox. My walking buddy is a big Sox fan.

G and "patton" are playing fetch with a tennis ball. And "patton" is seeing his relection in the French doors and getting excited.

It's a bit after 9 pm and we'll see how long he can behave and stay awake. And I could be referring to either of them.

One Moment In Time

Lunch today with an 84 year old friend. We dined on Lobster Ravioli with Shrimp in Pink Sauce. I'm thinking it was red sauce mixed with cream. Very good lunch. I even laughed out loud at something my friend said. Everything was great. We both put out credit cards for our separate checks. When the credit slips came back I signed and watched as my friend added the tip in cash. Looked like a large tip and then she mentioned putting $18 there. I said but you used your credit card. And she said "No, I didn't".

What should I do? She is forgetting her children's names. I remind her of the grandchildren's names. She lives alone. Calls me each day to see if I'm free to visit her or have lunch. She is disappointed when I have to work. Her children live far away. About as far away as I live from my own 85 year old father. Who lives alone and calls one of my brother's friends. To make sure he has a key to the house. In case.

My 84 year old friend mentioned that my newest quilt--the Marigold-- seemed "tight" or "controlled" to her and not like my usual work which is loose and a bit erratic. And then after lunch, I met a friend on the path to my car and she asked about the Marigold and in talking about it I realized that my lunch companion was correct. It is too controlled and tight and THAT is what has kept me from liking it and finishing it for all these years. About 4 or 5 years. The friend on the path said she would never have even wanted to finish something that old. I said that I was trying to "pull the art through". A David Walker quote.

I'm that way with unfinished art business. It nags at me. Loose ends. Unfullfilled promise. So now that I know what was wrong--I will make a new Marigold. Wild and loose and totally crazy. Because that IS my favorite song. "Still Crazy After All These Years".

I took a bag of outgrown linen clothes to the resale shop. I will know in 6 weeks if I sold any and I can have anything unsold back to use as fabric. I plan to sort through the closet and wash, iron and fold any more big, summer items.

Fifty Pounds. Six Months. I sort of wish there was a FF (Formerly Fat) like AA so I could go to a meeting. To learn how to not see myself as FAT. To not backslide. To accept myself as I am. At the resale shop the owner was unpacking my things and she looked from the clothes to me and said "These are really big". And I said "So was I". So. Was. I.

And dear friends--- that is a moment in time, a day in my life. A snapshot.

Another Rainy Day

The only sunshine in my yard :: calendula. Thank goodness they are right in front of my door so I can see them all the time. N and I timed our 2 mile walk just right today, as the rain held off "just" long enough. N got home first and because I had the length of our street to walk, I got a bit soaked. It's okay. I like curly hair.

I'm collecting rain water just in case we have a dry spell. That little heap next to the watering can is an obo-- pile of rocks.

As you may have read in the comments, someone in Maine was cancelling their Pamela Allen class and now I AM going to be in the same room with Pamela Allen for one whole day, perhaps two. I have the opportunity to sign up for the all day Sunday self portrait class also. The Friday class is "Six Little Quilts" which explore the 6 design principles. I have my supply list and my "homework" to prepare sandwiched backgrounds on which to work. Already layered with 3 or more pieces of fabric to give depth to the piece. Then on class day we will layer, applique and stitch. Pamela is also bringing a Dremel and we will "drill" holes in found objects otherwise known as "junk" and "dollar store treasure". I plan to bring some of the really neat things I have found and have no idea how to use. I'm sure Pamela will have ideas.

I am even going to drive to Augusta by myself. On the highway. Like a big girl. Like a big fraidy cat girl. Now you can see what a BIG LURE Pamela is!!!

Have to open the door for the carpet cleaner for my neighbor across the street later today. Her dog opened the freezer door and ate a bunch of stuff and was very sick all over the house. I think the freezer was open for a long time and my neighbor also lost all her food. I suggested "doggie daycare" instead of the daily dog walker who stays maybe 15 minutes (the dog refuses to go outside). Or bare floors. Last time this happened the dog got into the pantry and ate baking chocolate and nearly died. She's eleven and very bored and doesn't like other dogs. So maybe daycare is out of the question.

I'm have a total overhaul today from toe paint to hair glaze. My checking account will be taking a direct hit but I'm worth it and I will be too pretty for words when it's all done.
I may even get G to take a picture for you. And I may not.

If At First You Don't Succeed

This is a teaser. I'm not saying what I'm going to try again until it happens. Then I will "spill the beans" as they say. I'm nervous. But not as much as the first time. Fingers crossed.

Shopping at Marden's yesterday and I bought 12 fake lemons. I'm thinking of making an "If Life Gives You Lemons" quilt like the ones my favorite quilt diva makes. Pamela Allen. Who is teaching at Maine Quilts this summer and I didn't know and therefore will not be in class. So sad. If anyone in Maine is reading this and there is a last minute cancellation--email me!

I fell off the "not too much bread" wagon today at the supermarket. Along with fruit, fat free "Simply Smart" milk and half/half, and deli stuff for G's lunches--I bought a loaf of When Pigs Fly cinnamon raisin bread. 240 calories for 96grams (2 smallish slices). And SO worth it. Chewy, sweet and so divine. I adore bread. And I DID walk three miles today before it started raining. I'm putting the bread in the freezer. It's safer there.

I'm watching Big Brother, Top Chef, Closer, and Ninja Warrior this summer.

I'm reading Nigella Lawson's What to Eat. Very good. The "healthy eating plan" (no kidding) section (small) is like deja vu for me. She says exactly what I say. She has the same (exact) gameplan for success as I have. And I thought I made all this up. We even have the same breakfast each day. I plan to have her same everyday lunch from now on - a baked potato and some steamed veggies. Nigella puts cheese on her potato but I like sour cream and chives. Can even nuke it in the micro at work. And Nigella NEEDS to have real sugar in her diet food just like me. It makes US feel full. Perhaps I'm really a "goddess" like Nigella????

And along with my half cup of fresh pineapple each morning before walking, I will be adding iced coffee with real sugar and Simply Smart fat free half and half to the daily Summer menu. With lots of ice. That Simply Smart stuff is amazing. Try it.

The parking lot at my supermarket just got striped and patched and the combo of clean white stripes and black patches in squiggly, running, curving patterns was very interesting against the normal greyish asphalt. I plan to go back with my camera and hope it wasn't all a "pre-rain" strange lighting thing which has now gone by.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping with my daughter. I plan to try on clothes to see what fits. I don't think I will buy anything. Trying things on gets me SO depressed.

Today I have on a sleeveless tee which shows off my flappy upper arms and shorts (too big) and my old belt which I have in the fourth hole away from the one I used to use (before I needed to buy the bigger size belt). I think the shorts also have odd tucks in the waistband. So chic.

Book Sale News

We made $20,000 on Friday. A one day sales record. Yippee!

And a book dealer says we are "one of the top 10 book sales" and he goes to as many as he can looking for books. This was his first visit to our sale (he's attending a big soccer match in the area) but will come back next year just for the sale because he was so impressed. Now that's what I like to hear! He loved my "organized tables" and M's sorted books and the nice people working and most of all the "selection". Oh, My!

Today was slow in the book sales department because it was a beautiful day. Sunny, breezy and NOT 90 degrees. I planted my tomato seedlings, the cucumber seedlings, replanted the zucchini, and replanted the butternut squash. I also picked and ate 2 radishes. And a few Romaine leaves. I would have been a wonderful Rabbit.

We watered the neighbor's garden. She has all new landscape plants and trees and has gone away for the weekend (or 4th) and left it all to wilt. Tomorrow we'll set up sprinklers to soak the big trees and bushes. And, no, my neighbor has no idea we are doing this.

French Hens

A few years ago my Dad was very ill and I went to Ohio and stayed with him for 5 weeks while he got his "house legs" back and could care for himself again. While there I had this "project" with me. First, I had to redraft the pattern (yes, I used a pattern) to a larger size. This finished quilt is 53 by 53.

I cut and freezer papered a chicken head each day and in the evening, while watching television with my Dad I needleturned the pieces. My Dad always stayed up to see the finished work. He found the process fascinating and was amazed that I could make something so quickly.


Each chicken head has several fabrics from my "chicken box". Years ago Kathy and I were going to make one of those Maggie Walker chicken quilts. Very realistic roosters and hens. So we went shopping for "chicken fabric". Little quarter yards of strange stuff that had feathery or chickeny tendencies. Of course, the fabric had no use in ordinary work. So it all went into the "chicken box". A large shoebox which I carried with me to my Dad's house.

I also brought along my "French" fabric for the baskets. And appliqued the basket handles with needleturn and pieced the baskets. Most of you only know me from this blog--but I absolutely HATE sewing little bits together endlessly. I will make ONE block. I will despise making 20. And be suicidal if faced with more than 20. The fact that I pieced these baskets amazes my friends. Bias. Need I say more?

Yesterday, Kathy brought the newly quilted-- she has a long arm-- French Hens to me at the book sale (it has taken years to get the thing ready for quilting) and we spread it out on one of the tables and I was very happy. I now have it pinned to my dining room wall where I can look at it from my computer chair and see it and smile.

And I remember 12 days of chicken applique and another 13 of basket handles at my Dad's. Well, I probably did two or three handles each evening and not just one. And I remember the sewing "set up" in his spare room where I cut out the blocks. I remember it all when I look at this quilt. I think I'll give Dad a call today and tell him "I was just thinking of you".

Marigold

Here it is--after all these years---finished. I quilted with a free motion wide zigzag in a spiral circle from the center out to the edges. The spiral served to flatten some of the poofy places and also holds down any edges on the WU blue dotted fabric and the blue rick rack which may have been an artistic mistake.

This looks so much better cropped. I may at some future date chop it up and re-bind it. You can see the spiral which looks so even and really I did it without much thought or planning. I was circling the center to make it lay flat and just kept going. I'm not much into planning. The buttons aren't where I wanted them when I "planned" but I like where they are and I LOVE the black thread in the centers. X's and dashes. And best of all the buttons cover completely the really "bad choice" center fabric.

And what I LOVE best--- it's finished. I can move on to something else now. Whether it's something new or something unfinished, I don't know yet. Deborah did give me great comments on working up a quilt I had just about consigned to the rag bag. Now with the black and white on it--it's working.

But this is Book Sale week and I have 40,000 books to unpack (with a crew of 15) and get out on tables. My week of Zen. Organization. Order from Chaos. And everything gets set right in my world.

And hey! I have a walking buddy. Today we did 3 miles. Life is good! In fact, it's damn wonderful!

White Peony

Luscious! And if you study it--so many colors in the white.

I ate HALF my Chinese Lunch and saved the rest for dinner tonight. Then, I got a mini strawberry cone from the best ice cream shack in town. While it was great--I would have enjoyed the lunch and cone more with someone. I was solo.

The Marigold has binding and will have a hanging pocket by the time I go to work at 5 pm. It's squarish and has a serious "poof" and ripple along one edge. But it's an art quilt. (Like that excuses it)

Close to Home

Geranium buds in the compost pail. G sprayed my outdoor plant with deer repellant and killed the flowers. But I do love pink up against a golden yellow/orange.

Yesterday I walked, tried not to eat the wrong things, made lentil soup for the week and FINALLY quilted the marigold. What a mess. But it's a finished mess that just needs binding and a pocket and it's out of my head and out of the house. I sewed buttons onto it during the Tom Sellack movie. I just LOVE that guy. Anyway, today I get to do my least favorite job--squaring up the marigold. I cut, and cut, and cut and the damn quilts get smaller and more crooked. I think it's best all round for it to be squarish. ISH.

This is a white peony. It reminds me of all the things I love in white. Sheets. Linen shirts. Cotton tees. Fresh sheets of journal pages. New watercolor paper. Salt. Flour. Pizza Dough. Mozzarella-- the fresh little balls. Steamed Rice. Can you guess that it's lunch time? LOL.

That was a picture of a white peony which got deleted by ME.

This & That

I grow calendula for the petals. Dried and mixed with olive oil and beeswax, the petals make a soothing cream for hands. Especially gardening hands. My first few flowers, de-petaled, in a stro container. Gorgeous color. A quilt????

It's June and the peonies are in flower. I cut a big handful today--before it rained and they are opening and looking like a $100 bouquet. So beautiful.

My new favorite plate. I have fallen madly in love with Polish Pottery. But only the patterns with dots. I do NOT care for the flowered ones. And I prefer the blues. This is NOT Polish but is really gorgeous. I found it at Home Goods in Portland. Next time I go there I'm taking the camera. Saw so many lovely things.

After lunch with a friend today, and before the rain came down, I slipped into the local resale shop and found these Birkies for fourteen dollars. Worn but not much and my size and I love them dearly already. G will hate them. Just cuz they are Birkies. (When I stand up my toes go to the top of the shoe, in case you wonder about that.) G really hates Birkies with socks and I do plan to do that when it gets cold. I'm sure he wears things I don't approve of, but since I buy all his clothes, I can't think what those things might be.

I'll be having soup for dinner or a stir fry. Eating alone today.

Wednesday Post

Remember when I said I was going to post on Wednesdays? And never did it after that first Wednesday? Welcome to my world. LOL

After two fabulous, sunny perfect June days we are having a "weather correction" and it's cloudy, buggy and will probably rain. Cooler temp. I did my 2 mile walk in my new walking outfit. Bean ultimate knit crop pants and a 1X vee neck tee. After the first half mile I started warming up and not feeling so chilled. Every yard was being mowed by some lawn service, except for one. They had three mowers going-- mom and 2 very handsome early teenage boys.

Yesterday I had 2 glasses of wine after work while visiting with an 84 year old friend. We sat outside in her garden and it was lovely. Her peonies and iris were going by but still lovely. My iris are still good and my peonies are in bud.

I'm worrying about Soulemama's dog Luka.

I have the next four days off from the library and will be stitching like crazy to finish my quilts. I also have the book sale organization to complete. How many boxes of each category and how many tables needed etc.

We're going to try an Everyday Italian dish tonight. Parmesan pork chops, baby green beans and baked potatoes with chives and sour cream. I wish I had a red pepper to slice and saute with the green beans. Wouldn't that be pretty? G doesn't like peppers.

I brought my tomato seedlings in for the day in case it rains hard. I don't want them to get beat down and soaked. They spent the night outdoors. First overnight. Still looking perky. I will probably put them into the garden, with a handful of Epsom salts in the bottom of the hole, next week. I'll transplant the cukes this weekend. And replant the zucchini which didn't germinate. Strawberry picking this weekend and I can finally make a strawberry rhubarb pie. I have to decide whether I will be having any pie. I could have pie and walk 4 miles for the day.

Now to shower and dress and go to work. We were very busy yesterday since school is out and everyone is looking for something (a book or handful of movies) to do. Summer starts tomorrow!

Remember When The Weekend Was Easy?

My favorite of last week's collages. And I worked Friday and had a social function to attend on Saturday afternoon. Staff Appreciation with Food. Always a problem for the person on a "eating plan". Supper later in the day--and I could have skipped it--was a Greek Salad from one of our favorite take out places and "diet cheese wedges". The regular cheese wedges are pizza dough with oil and loads of cheese, baked and sliced and served with Marinara Sauce. In my "former life" I ate the whole 8" circle myself. The diet version-- and the take out place was not surprised by the order---- was pizza dough, a tiny bit of cheese and sauce on the side. G ate half.

Sunday was Father's Day and Sam brought croissants and a Sunday paper for her Dad and she and I went out shopping. How's that for a holiday? Anyway, she shopped at Wally World and I stood in line to return something I had purchased in 2005. Walmart is a wonder. I stood in line for over 20 minutes, said I didn't have a receipt for the item and was handed CASH. I then purchased some Tide and a watermelon.

We then went to Staples to purchase a new phone for Sam. The one we really wanted was out of stock so she purchased our second favorite. Basic with answering machine. Funny how the "out of stock" one was the one on sale?

Next stop was the pet store for Sam and Coldwater Creek for me. I am a glutton for punishment (and a 60% off sale) so I went in to try on clothes never dreaming that any would fit. I wanted--what else--another white shirt. One that fit and followed the lines of my new "hourglass" figure. I am nothing if not predictable. I found two things--a pair of slim striped pants and a very girly pleated, ruffled white shirt. Linen. Be still my heart. Nothing was extra large. Sam said "no" to the saffron colored shirt I wanted.

I also stopped and repaired a friend's sewing machine and got scratched by her cat, had Chinese Lunch (yummy) and walked 2 miles (Sat and Sun).

All this and what I had penciled in my dance card was working on my big marigold quilt. I did get some topstitching in on the side parts. I don't think this quilt will ever get finished. And I worked on pressing the WU flowers on another quilt while watching Home Sweet Alabama on Saturday. There was a bit of "oops" when the cutting mat was removed but I think I got all the pieces back where they may have been. It looks okay.

No pictures because you've seen it before and nothing is different. So. Nine in the morning and I think I'll try for some more stitching on the marigold before my manicure and then work at the library until 8pm. The Closer is on at 9. I really should make some dinner for G and put it in the fridge for him to heat up later. I really should.

Paper Collage 2007

This is the collage for today 14 June o7. I use pages from full color, expensive decorator magazines like House& Garden, Veranda, and House Beautiful. I take the images and layer, cut, trim and look and finally paste with a glue stick and the latest financial publication from my index fund. I use the glue stick with abandon on a page and then turn that page over and use a fresh page for the next item to be glued. The stuff from the index fund is printed on thin sheets which are also nice to cut up for text backgrounds.

I love using eyes in my collage and in one of my fabric pieces I actually made a flower that was "eye" shaped. The headlights also look like eyes and the hood design--like a big nose.

This one was fun. About five layers of pages, one on top of the other. I may attempt something like this out of fabric. The different textures will be interesting to work with: woven, cord, see through, shiny and of course the flower and it's "eye".

There was a fourth collage--my favorite which didn't load. So tomorrow I will try to get that up. I'm working everyday this week at the library and don't have time for much more than a paper collage in my artistic life. But on the weekend I will be moving the sewing desk back to the sunporch for the summer and quilting and zigzagging till the lights go out. I have a backlog of things that need finishing.

TopChef: Do they just pick a lame candidate to vote off right away? That red neck with no chef training was a poor choice all round. He was way out of his depth and had no skills. The producers should be ashamed. And don't they TASTE their own food before serving???? They had plenty of food--they could cook and taste and then make a final product. Serving inedible food is my "pack up your knives" moment even if 5 of them had to go home all at once. Do you think a restaurant chef would have given them a second chance? Hah!

Sunny Sunday

This has really been a miserable summer so far here in Maine. Two or three gorgeous days and then cold, damp, rainy days all in a row and finally a sunny day. It's JUNE!. Nearly summer.

My garden reports 6 radishes have germinated. Out of a bazillion seeds planted.

My husband purchased a desk from the "land of miss-shipped furniture" at work. $6. And now that we have assembled it and marked it with a pencil and jigsawed a hole in the top for my sewing machine and the sewing machine "elevator" that will raise and lower the machine for my sewing pleasure--- I have to find room for it in my overstocked workroom.

The old sewing table will be going on to a new life as a colorfully painted end table with really cute knobs on the faux drawer in front. Whilst in the workroom it never came close to having it's "makeover". I'm sure there are other items in the workroom in need of a fresh start or do-over. Hey, me!

So after eating a breakfast peach and tieing on the walking shoes and doing 2 miles, I will walk right into that workroom and start moving stuff around and out and into piles and, and, ---and, I just hope lunchtime arrives sooner rather than later so I can stop.

I'm giving Sunday Chinese Lunch one more try. Last week's lunch wasn't so good. If this week is the same--then I will be moving on to a new "treat". Tomorrow I have a lunch date with "J" and some Tex-Mex chicken fingers. Can't hardly wait.

In case you're wondering. I deleted the whole "eating plan" post. This IS an art quilting blog and not a self help/blathering blog. Yesterday I clipped art and text from some old magazines for a paper collage. As soon as I get a new glue stick. And find my scissors. I will be making a small 6 inch square collage everyday this summer. I'm finding them to be a good exercise for future fabric endeavors.

And, really, all my fabric endeavors are in the "future" as the only sewing I am actually doing is on the seams of my pants. Or on tucks in the waistband of those same pants. And I don't know nothing about sewing clothing.

The Times They Are A Changing

A forty pound weigh loss can change a person in more ways than just size. I feel different in every way. I feel confined. Like a caterpillar in it's wrappings; pushing, growing, getting ready to emerge and dry off it's new wings.

I thought about this change in weight for a full year before starting the "new eating plan" in January. I mostly visualized some slim black pants, tiny tee shirt and a spikey new haircut. In other words, I imagined myself younger. I'm just now realizing this.

I also visualized a "new life" to go with the slimmer body. An artist's life. Painting. Pottery. Mixed Media. In a sunny studio with long wide tables. Space to have two or three projects spread out at all times so I could work a bit here and then ponder a bit there and fuss with something in yet another spot. I didn't visualize working at the library. Surprise.

My relationships with people are also changing. I know my husband is worried. You can see it in his eyes. He wonders if I will still be here each day when he returns from work. I will be here. The "I" may not be the person he knows or has known. Or wants to know. Those are his future choices.

I am becoming a person I don't know yet either.

I am only half way there, half way to my goal and already I am questioning my path. I am afraid of what is in front of me. But not so eager to go back to what I was. Each day is a challenge of personality, body, spirit and determination.

When you are half way there--to go back would take as long as continuing forward. So I will push on. Bear with me. Your comments and good wishes come at just the right moments. Have I mentioned that? Well, they do. Random good wishes are the very best kind. Unexpected. Surprising. Thoughtful.

If you wonder-- at forty pounds I look different. Smaller than I was but still a large size woman. (this disappoints me more than I care to admit) I can see and feel my shoulder bones and hip bones. I may need to buy new underwear soon. I am putting all my clothing in the dryer and hoping it shrinks, just a little. I had my gray hair glazed a dark brown and was intrigued when no one noticed the color but commented on the "great haircut". I only had it trimmed. Same cut. I wish I could have liposuction of the hip saddle bags and a tummy tuck. Chinese Lunch yesterday wasn't so very yummy. I may not need it anymore. It was my "treat" each seven days. I think the chicken tenders at Pedro's with honey mustard and BBQ sauce may be the new "treat" with a side salad and no dressing. And I can have this "treat" when I lunch with friends.

I'm walking 2 miles everyday- today will be a chore because it's 50 degrees and raining so I will be soaked to the bone by the time I finish. A nice hot shower and some pasta should make it worthwhile. Whole wheat pasta. And then work at the library. I've made G some homemade tomato soup with the last big bag of frozen tomatoes from last year's garden. G loves soup. I love him.

Turbulent

Just when I think it's safe to get all comfortable with myself and my life, I go and screw around with it. Like picking a scab. Just can't leave some things alone. The picture is of a baking sheet I use to make breakfast biscuits. Used to make. No biscuits for this girl. Now. And I seem to be wondering if I should be making rusty fabric. Not that I know anything about the process of rusty fabric. And why would I want some?

Anyway, I was not happy with the way the kennel had treated G when we took the puppy back and so I began an email dialog with the kennel owner. She was still not nice. I worked my usual magic (???) and after 4 emails she was actually being kind and decent and THEN the other shoe drops. Would we be interested in another dog. Older (3), female, fox red (reddish yellow lab), trained. Recently the mother of 12 pups (9 black and 3 yellow). Will be the mother of another litter next year. Of course I made the mistake of showing the email to G.

I thought it was safe. It wasn't. Now we are not getting along. I'm not sure I want a dog. I just wanted to rid myself of bad karma. Perhaps this is my karma????

Here's my scrap African style piece. It's just ironed to the fusible batting. Not quilted. And today at Marden's I spent $3.36 TOTAL on 4 plus yards of white cotton twill. I did not buy anything else. So very proud of myself. And since you asked, I plan to paint it. With very cheap acrylic paints.

Planted--under duress-- radishes, green beans, zucchini and butternut squash. Fertilized everything including cabbage, brussel sprouts, and the place where cucumbers will be some day soon. And cut and placed red plastic "mulch" on the five pots of green peppers. The red plastic worked last time on the peppers and eggplant. Caused them to produce fruit.

My calendula (pot marigolds) already have mildew (white spotty stuff on the leaves) as do the geraniums I bought from the same nursery. Me thinks they were infected before I even got them home. And the crappy weather today and for the next few days (cold and wet) will not help.

Lots of lightning and thunder tonight. We just "Do Not" get this sort of storm here in Maine. So, of course, G and I went outside and sat on the porch and watched the sky light up, crackle and explode. There was one big bang which has to have hit something but no sirens or fire trucks. And the electricity stayed on. That is also unusual as our electrical service is very "iffy" in the state of Maine. Wind blows. Lights go out. Snow falls. Lights go out. Rain. Lights go out. Squirrel runs into transformer. Big explosion. Lights go out. For a long time.

Turbulent. But I have new peaches and a big pineapple for breakfast fruit. And plenty of bug spray to protect me on my daily 2 mile walk. And tomorrow is Chinese Lunch. And I'm so NOT working extra hours next week. The dog can wait. She's not ready to go anywhere any way (after all those puppies). No rush.

Karma. Or squirrels.