Daily Notes- February 29- Leap Day

                                  

I took this picture at the greenhouse prior to the start of my Seed Starting class.  I wanted a reference point for g and I when we look at our lime tree to judge if we are setting fruit or not.  Now we are both clear on which part of the flowers swells into a fruit.  We had been guessing wrong.

This is going to be quite exciting.

I also drove the car for the first Time in a very long Winter.  I don't have snow tires.  And am not a good winter driver when it comes to slipping and sliding.  But the few times I got into a "situation" while driving in the Chicago suburbs in Winter- I turned into the slide.  Excellent. But once I slid off the highway into the front lawn of a business because I braked when I should not have.  Lucky for me, the lawn belonged to my employer- the local newspaper.  One of the sales managers drove it out and parked it for me. I was grateful as I had climbed out and walked to the front door.  Leaving the car where it had stopped sliding- just in front of the gas line shut off.  So NOT my time to die.

g was trying- yet again to do electrical work.  I asked him on the previous attempt to just "please STOP".  But he hears what he chooses and what I say isn't one of the things he chooses to hear. He does not know what he is doing.

I am tired.  We were expecting 2 people for the class- then 5.  I didn't count but every seat was filled plus some at the tables in the back- between 20 and 30 people.  Boss was very happy.  Parking lot was full.  After the class- parking lot was empty. Good thing I had him make more copies.  Really a good thing.  Next class is the big library one with the Land Trust.  In two weeks.

I turned the cloth that is sitting in the walnut water in the crock pot out in the garage- turned off.  Cold now.  Dee mentioned that the walnut project can develop mold at any time now.  Gosh.  What a delight.  When I turned the bundles I could see that the rust particles/flakes of the rusty cans, was doing some coloring.  Which was nice.  But rust can eat thru a cloth if left too long.  So....... well, for sure I am not opening them up today.  What did Scarlett say? "I'll think about it tomorrow".

Daily Notes- February 28th

                                              

An ad for linen sheets.  Wrinkly ones.  I used to iron them back in the days when I ironed everything. Everything.  Now, I don't iron anything.

Busy day today.  g picked up his new hearing aids this morning and, at the same time, I picked up my new prescription lenses.  Same frames.  It was a bit dicey there at first, but after an hour or two- seems like I have worn them all my life;  and no scratches on the left lens from rubbing my eye.

Then we picked up the daughter (after I repotted the orchid from the optometrist office), returned the repotted orchid, and then we drove on the "not the highway" to South Portland and a Mexican Restaurant with the best margaritas and the best guac.  Delicious!!!   Then Trader Joe's.  g kept telling the cashier that this was the first time were had only filled one bag. Yep.  Only the one.

I bought more tubs of the dark chocolate covered caramels.  Get me thru  Doing The Taxes.

I don't know if it was the ride in the car, the new glasses or the alcohol....but I am wiped out.  And I got an email--I now have 12 signed up for Seed Starting tomorrow morning. So I am going to shuffle paper, get it all into my greenhouse bag and then make a coffee and sit on the couch.  Call it a day.

Daily Notes- February 27th

                                     

An old rusted tin can lid from a year or more ago.  The walnut pot is cooling.  I had it going for 36 hours.  Now cooling. Perhaps cooling is a part of the process? I am just experimenting.  The cloth under is brown onion skins.  They never let me down.  The cloth it makes so golden and warm.

Torrential rain this morning and overnight.  Roads closed.  Detours. Trees in the road.  Just to get thru Town (a small Town) and get my hair cut.  There is no deterrent for owners of vacant lots who fail to clear or removed sick or dead trees. So in high winds or heavy snowfall or windy rain- the trees fall across roads and take down power lines.  Delightful Place to Live.  Maine.

The rain has melted the ice on the sidewalks and about 1/3 of the snow off the lawn.  It went from pouring rain to cloudy/sunshine in like 20 minutes. Low 40's in temps.

I read a book last night-- The Two Janes.  I thought I wrote the author down.  I did not.  Trafficking of young girls thru the tunnels from Mexico to San Diego.  The Janes as in Jane Doe. Unidentified dead underage girls.  The hero of the book is a woman.  One hell of a woman. She works on finding out who the girls are and returning them to their families.  Closure.  And, of course, taking care of the ones who killed the Janes.  The book I read was book two- I have book one on reserve and it is coming to me soon.

My library has this lovely bookcase in the walkway leading from Fiction to the Mystery section.  For February- all the books (fiction) in one section of the bookcase had pink book jackets.  I found three new to me authors there and was very happy with the books.  Today- they had switched to green book jackets for St Patrick's Day. I looked them over- I selected one.  Pink was easy as it was fiction that appealed to the romantic.  Now sure of the green. Could be anything???  Another section of the bookcase wall has Staff Picks- those are always interesting and change as the staff changes. Nothing of interest in the new fiction section.

Well, I need to decide how to spend the remainder of the day.  G wants me to make Chicken Soup. And instead of reading I could hand sew a strip or two to the "works in progress".  The abstract cloth collages.

I decided to use the sanitizing wet towels at the grocery at the END of my visit to wipe off all the grocery germs on our hands before touching the car and going home.  Not as the people I observe who use the towels as they arrive and then touch stuff.  We also wiped off the car steering wheel before touching it.

Daily Notes- February 26

                                     

I tried this with my black walnuts.  Rolled cloth around them.  Tied with string. Brought to high heat and then simmered 24 hours.  No result.  Just a light dull brown with no marks.  I was sure direct contact to the soft squishy black inner walnut would color the cloth. No. Everyone is back in the crock pot.  Re-tied.  I have added the decomposed (rusted to flakes) tin cans.  Wrapped cloth around them- the only marks in the first try were rust marks.  So, more rust.  I get better rust marks when I wrap in foil and steam for 20 minutes.  I might just do that going forward.  Just wrap in foil and steam.

It does mark well on paper- the walnut water reduction.  A lovely soft warm brown- translucent. Am now wondering what it would be like to paint the walnut solution onto dry cloth.  I am going to take a cloth out to the garage and do that.  Let it dry. See what happens. Make splotches. I do love an experiment.

The grape juice experiments turned out so great.  The blues are amazing.

No Sun today.  Warm 36 to 40.  But dark and chilly in here.  My hands are cold.  I have so many loads of wash today. Depressing. Sheets, towels and G's entire wardrobe it seems.  Big heavy sweatshirts and flannel lined pants.  Like an entire load of just one sweater and one pair of pants.  I may take a book to read or something to sew- straight seams.  While I keep watch over the washing machine so it doesn't empty all the water on the floors.  I will wrap myself in a blanket.  It is very very drafty in the washing machine area- the drier vent is open to the outdoors.  36 to 40 degrees.

It's been a difficult Month.  Difficult.  On a personal level.  I am more worried about my own care. Who will watch over me?   Well, I will think about that later...right now I am going up into the Attic and hopefully my left ankle will hold steady on the way up and down. Or not.  It's been "or not" for a few days now.  This is new- it's always been my right side that gives me pain and trouble.

Daily Notes- February 25

                                         

The cloth from yesterday.  Yesterday"s Cloth.  The Walnuts.  From Dee and Grace.  Into the tall brown crockpot.  With water. It heated up. Stayed hot.  It is a good pot.  This cloth holds some texture and is fine.  Perfectly okay as Grace would say.  But...... I had hoped for more.  I had wanted darkness.  Was given light.  Was given a dancing pattern across the surface.  Tin can lines. And if I look quickly- there are faces. Eyes, for sure.

I have to think about this.  Think about what I need to add to the walnut water.  Like a food recipe. This walnut water needs some addition.  And it might be as simple as my not mordanting the cloth before the walnut bath.  I did not.  I forgot. I wanted to just put something in with the walnuts.

My bag full of used tin cans has ......what?  the cans crumbled into nothing at my touch.  Still shiny. But they had decayed or composted since the last use. So strange.  I had no other cans.  I was thinking that this morning I would have to search thru my neighbors' recycling to find a can-- and then in a box, deep under the porch table- one can.  One. Can.  Thank you.

The crumbled rusting cans are going into the rust glass jar.  To make more rust water.  And I am mordanting cloth to wrap and fold around my one can.  To try again today.  Experiment.

And I had tossed a few stitched "components" into the walnut pot.  To deaden the brightness of the colors.  Interesting things happened.  The bright yellows went dark brown.  The other colors knocked back but not changed.  One is now pinned to the cloth made of squares (wall above the ironing board) and may be appliqued to it.  Feels like it belongs.  Found- these things happen-- the pile of squares made for this cloth.  And I auditioned some to make the left side work.  It isn't playing well with others. More of the darker pinks.  Was too light in that upper left corner.  Then, I think, that cloth is done and I can begin to appliqué over the top and finish it.  It doesn't need to be any larger.

I have to go into the attic.  Looking for the Seed Starting pages for the class.  Two signed up. G has added Pages back to my computer so I can write again. Type. Make information pages for my classes. I have the BIG class coming up in March. In front of many strangers at the Library.  

So, up into the Attic.  And I will see if I can dig out one of the tall black chairs.  And bring it down the stairs carefully.  Use that in my bedroom to hold the notebooks and pens. The phone charger. Use the chair as a bedside table.  And I will water my daughter's zone 6 perennials overwintering in the bathtub up in the Attic.  They are up about 6 inches and all have many leaves. Daughter is very pleased.  They  grow and have many many dark sapphire blue flowers.  I am hoping she lets me keep one or two.

We sprayed Blossom something (used to get tomatoes to set fruit) on the Citrus Blossoms.  The flowers have stayed on and dried but there is a swelling at the base of quite a few.  The Botanist says it looks promising. Limes.

Daily Notes- February 24th

                                      

Test squares from the dye test samples from California (the darks in brown and green), my own bleach discharge lavender and some brown onion skin on lime linen (gives the cloth a lovely burnished look).  This is the one missing from the wall behind the ironing board.   I don't like the lime to the far right.  Ignore that.  I may remove the top four squares.  Go forward with the 16 patches. We'll see. I change my mind frequently. I could also appliqué over a section and then cut from the back to make an uneven edge.  That is most likely what I will do as I really love hand appliqué of long sections of cloth. Or insets.

Yesterday at Goodwill- the second one we visited after lunch- I found a four dollar small crockpot.  With a brown ceramic liner.  Tall but not very wide.  Perfect. For an upright rusting tin can to stand and still close the lid.  For the walnuts that have been waiting.  My daughter had gifted me her old pot with a pristine white ceramic liner.   I just COULD NOT stain it with walnuts.  And I did want to make the ink out on the porch or in the garage and not get smells or odors inside a closed Winter house. I am ready to get to work on making ink.  And dying cloth on the rusty can.

A while back, Grace (Windthread) mentioned a blog called Mending Grace (I think) written by a woman dyeing and making cloth with household discarded cloth and things she found while walking her dog.  I had never in 12 years of thrice daily walks with my Riley- found any cloth.  He did find a deflated clown ball which Riley ate (while I was not looking) and then distressed (in his intestines) and discharged on another walk to my shock and awe to see a clown's face emerge from his ....well, you can imagine how it was for a novice dog owner. Very hilarious now but....not so much in the moment. I actually thought I had gone insane. Seeing things etc.

Back to cloth:  This Mending Grace had a small crockpot and a black walnut and some strips of cloth that she pleated very carefully around the can and then bound with string and then set it out to simmer in the crock pot for four hours I think.  Then it sat in the cooling crock pot until the next day.  The result was quite brilliant.  The tedious pleating- genius.  I tried it with what I had- a rusty can and iron water. String but forgot the pleats (head slap)  A silver shadowed grey.  But now I want to go to the dark side of the walnut bath.

My eyes are dry and sticky- very tired.  I need eye drops going forward.  And I need to test the new Goodwill crock pot to see if it heats and stays heating.  Then get the walnut bath going and pleat cloth on a rusted soup can. And I might need a nap. Or just an hour or two on the couch with my eyes closed.  Temps in the 50's today.

I have my compost bucket to dump into the bins and more shredded paper to add to the third section and then I'll scrape up some snow to top the shredded paper so it doesn't blow all over the yard (has happened). I didn't get to do it the last warm day- because I jammed the shredder and had to wait for G to figure out how to unjam it.  He did.  Good Man.  He also figured out why my car had the check tire thingy lit up.  Even when we added air to the tires.  Not that I am driving the car during the Snow Months.  I am not.  I hibernate.

Daily Notes- February 23rd

                                                                         
                                     

This wall is in the sewing room.  Above and behind the ironing board.  There is a stack of "pages" made during a Winter (years ago) spent with Jude at Spirit Cloth making the little one inch squares into pages of 5 by 7 to the far left.  The black and white "Alien X-ray" is from a Time when I  played along with the 10 by 10 group.  This was from the larger series that followed.

I have tried- over Time- to put these separate bits and pieces together into something larger.  They are like puzzle pieces that fight any "going together" and more often than not- are fine with being un-sewn (taken apart) and then made into something altogether different. Another piece that has been up on this wall forever made from dye test squares from California- is now in the "working" box behind my chair.   To be taken apart, I think, because other work needs a square or two of a certain color. Unless it finds some cloth in the box to continue it's journey.

It happens.  I put things in with other scraps and they find new companions as the cloth gets churned up.  Ones I had never considered.  Pairings. This might be the magic that will happen on Jude's walls when all the unfinished cloth is pinned up.  Something next to something else.

I am often surprised when people holding a cloth tell me a story they see there.  I often write down what they've said.  What I can't see but perhaps subconsciously did have some thought.

Story is here with words- I can just write you a story about anything really- my head is full of those stories real and imagined.  But not ones I can write in cloth.  Cloth is abstract art.  Where I just enjoy the mix of texture and color.  But that is okay, isn't it?  I guess it only matters to me in the end.  And I am okay with color and texture.

I will run my fingers over cloth I have made when my mind is wandering far from home and spoken words or written ones are lost to me.  Like I remember my father's fingers tracing the lines and shapes of cloth I was sewing together when I cared for him.

Daily Notes- February 22

                                          

Still Life.   My rattan chair from our first year of marriage.  The little apartment.  The new baby.  No people. (in the South they ask "who are your people?")  The draft notice.  And the stuff of today:  The Washing Machine Pages Notebook, my pens- one leaks on my fingers- I never know which one it is- the phone charging cord.  A small folded quilt with some of my favorite cloth- hardly any of these left. One small square of the brown dots.  Saved for something "worthy".

Morning.  Freezing cold.  Very bright sun reflecting off the ice covered snow.  G is going to have to navigate all the ice covered snow out back to fill the bird feeders.  This must be done.  They come here to eat.  In other Winters- he would have made nice paths with the snowblower thru the season.  But it was broken and now- with the new one- he can't plow thru hard ice.  So he will step slowly and not break an ankle or knee, we hope. As I don't think I would be much help in rescuing him.

I am finding some comfort in having this little image of Vincent on the desktop with his lovely swirling blue sky behind him.  We make eye contact. He is very serious.  Frowning perhaps?  What is that Woman doing?

G thought today was Sunday.  I think I need a second cup of coffee.  I have one more episode of Howard's End to watch.  I am planning to make vegetable lo mein today.  I think. Might make brownies.  Most likely.  And baked sweet potatoes with butter.  I'll check if the Roasted Brussels Sprouts in the freezer are edible (not spoiled by the freezer not working that one day).  If yes, then I will have them with the sweet potato.

And I might-- I can't say for sure because this could just become such a mess- see if G can find my app so I can type notes into pages.  I have the dictionary but not the paper icon with the pencil.  It's gone.  I like to type notes to copy and hand out in my classes.  Haven't done that since I typed the How to Plant Garlic notes.  This is when I wish we had a young adult grandchild who could do these things for us.  Find the Pages app.  This is when I wish I still had a typewriter.

Daily Notes- February 21

                                      

This image came from a gardening feed that I get and read every morning.  The content was Native Plants and Trees feeding the wildlife on this day.  That was the same subject as the class I taught on February 8th.  Planting native trees and edible plants and trees- to feed ourselves and the birds and animals.

I even dipped the toes of the seven people who showed up for the class- into Permaculture. And Composting (my first love).  I am forever collecting things to add to my compost piles. G made me a little model of a three bin composter for classes.  I layered things into the little bins during the lecture- and I think it was often the first time people really understood the dry/moist principles. The percentages. Dry has to be the highest proportion in the mix.

I no longer have that little model composter- the local Boy Scouts came and very very nicely asked if I would donate it to them for a project they were doing in the community.  Yes.  Happily.  And I have recently asked G if he would make me a new one.  I have a class in Mid March at the library and I would like to have a little composter on the display table.  Perhaps a one or two bin.  Not three.  He had also made me a little raised bed model with hoops--I carry that to many classes.

I have a list of new trees we will be looking for this spring.  Sassafras.  American Persimmon.  Washington Hawthorn.  Quaking Aspen.  Perhaps we'll find one of the five?   They all make fruit,   berries or host larva for the wildlife to eat. I have to work on providing larva for the birds.

My Willow tree is covered in furry little buds.  The Witch Hazels are getting ready to flower. Even though the yard is covered in a few feet of ice covered snow.  Snow is such a good manure for the Earth.  All sorts of minerals and water.  Slow to melt so the soil gets saturated.

I am starting seeds in my milk jugs and setting them outside on the deck.  And I have two avocado pits on the window sill- trying to see if they will split and sent out a root (its been a week so I will check them today to see if the cloth around them needs to be moistened).  My citrus (lime) is covered in flowers and the Botanist says a few look like they might have set fruit. (I was hand pollinating with a paint brush)  We'll see.  I am fighting white furry sticky things on the orchids and little black gnats from one of the plants here in the house.  And today is orchid watering day.

Nice to have things to do.

Daily Notes- February 20

                                      

Scraps:  Materials to use to make something.  This sits on the table where I eat breakfast and read the morning newspaper- ugh!!!.  Today I had English Toasting Bread with butter and strawberry rhubarb jam.  English Toasting Bread toasts up nice and crisp.  Did you know in England they eat their toast cold?  I had to get used to that but loved the milky (but strong) tea and the Full Breakfast with tomatoes and beans etc.

Yesterday is finally over and done.  G and I went out and had a late lunch or early dinner at 4pm and I had a Gin and Tonic (with extra limes) and finished reading my book and we watched one episode of Law and Order and were asleep by midnight.

The Sun is out today (blinding me off the snow) and the temps are in the 20's.  Very cold but no rain or snow in the forecast.  The driveway is 90% bare and dry except for the lake of slippery ice at the bottom.  By the mailbox.  I have written checks for our bills, written to my five year old pen pal, and made a second cup of coffee.  I have one or two loads of washing to do and the Washing Machine Pages to write.  G has been out to get his hair cut.  My own haircut is next week.

Thank you for the comments yesterday.  I didn't see them until just minutes ago.  I never came back to the desktop and the iPhone was refusing to visit blogs- even my own.  No Service.  It does that every so often for no reason.  Or perhaps it has a reason?

I am going to go do the washing.  Get it done.  And take a chance that one more book on my table is going to be worth reading.  I shouldn't........I tend to self medicate with book reading for hours and hours but perhaps that is okay?  I could fill some milk jugs up with soil and start seeds.  I'll let you know tomorrow how it went.

Daily Notes- February 19th

                                                 

Keeping this image for reference.  There will come a day (sooner rather than later) when one of the elbows on one of my three beloved old sweaters springs a hole.  Or a threadbare spot.  And I will need to do a repair.  And I will need to use colors in the repair that match my pants and shirts.

This would not look as lovely if the color of the patches weren't repeated in the colors of the pants and shirt- Just saying.....

I wrote a bunch more on patching and repairing and just deleted it.

I don't have anything else to say.  It's a difficult day. My husband's memory issues are making him angry and difficult to deal with today.  Would be nice to just walk away.

Daily Notes- February 18th

                                               

Also from the website of stitches.  I made things like this once- with the teabag papers.  But they had little to no color.  This I think I would have enjoyed stitching.  Bee Creative had circles on her blog- like the rings of a tree as it grows.  She was saying her Life Circles would be thicker at times and thinner in others.  Which is giving me so much to think about today.  And how the two images would appear at or near the same Time as sort of a reminder.

So, today I am thinking of making circles.  But on a multi colored base.

G and I visited a different supermarket yesterday and walked around- looking.  There was a very long, tall wall of "spirits" as they are called now.  Hundreds and perhaps a thousand different brands and types sparkling under the beam of more lighting than in any of the other aisles (I checked).  I was overwhelmed and forgot completely that I had wanted a bottle of  Limocello in some months past.  To bake a tart.  Or to add to a margarita.

We purchased ice cream.  And, on an end cap- Generic Bran Flakes.  Any of you remember how much I loved eating Trader Joe's Bran Flakes for years and years and then they changed them.  Well, I got a box yesterday and had two bowls.  Not like the old Trader Joes.  But just so familiar.  The old flakes had been rough and thick.  These were thin. But the bran flavor was there.  This "other" grocery is often dirty, the produce in bad condition and the shelves are not well stocked.  But they did have the 1% variety of the milk I drink.  My grocery doesn't carry the one percent.  They didn't have the honey yogurt.  Noosa.  I might go back to buy that 1% milk.  Or not.

We are expecting rain or snow.  No sunshine.  No birds.  No squirrels.  Bad omens when it comes to weather here in Maine.

Daily Notes- February 17

                                               

Something I found on Pinterest with no name attached or I would reference them.  Or on a site adjacent to it with many many advertisements on it for very strange products. I don't know if you can click on the image and have it return to the place of origin??? I am not trying.  Never ends well.

 I was searching for examples of Boro stitching.  This was one of the images that had nothing to do with Boro but I sometimes enjoy covering a surface in a variety of embroidery stitches.  The image is here to remind me that I enjoy doing that sort of thing.

There are a number of things I enjoyed doing that I don't do anymore and that is something I am trying to correct.

Watched episodes five and six of Sanditon on PBS.  The guy our heroine is going to end up with is very yummy to look at and he has taken all his clothes off twice now to go swimming.  So, Jane Austin, huh?

We are also watching (sometimes G isn't paying attention) that remodel of the old French Chateau in time for the wedding of the couple (with two small children) and arrival of 200 wedding guests. They were digging up the septic field and the drains etc in the episode that included the wedding. The Brits the husband to be gets to come work in France on plastering, plumbing, and stone repair never look at the camera (perhaps having to do with paying taxes on revenue from work in France?) but the French workers digging out the septic loved the camera.

I also watched an episode of Worst Cooks In America.  Somehow they got rid of the the people who had half a clue and kept ones who can't even turn on the oven.  Usually by the time only 6 are left- they are actually improving.  Watching Alton Brown gag is worth the trouble. I wouldn't have tasted ANY of the stuff the six made.

Very NICE selection of charcoal crayons, sticks and other items in that one dollar Goodwill find.

Daily Notes- February 16th

                                      

My Citrus.  Strange things going on with the leaves.  I am feeding it everything it likes but this might be something from when it was outdoors all Summer.  Speckled.  I have picked off the yellowing ones.  Plenty of blossoms.  I do not think it will set any fruit- doesn't seem to enjoy being "paintbrush" pollinated.   I am misting it daily so the air around it is moist.  When it's time to go outside again I will repot and add coarse sand and cedar bark chips to the soil mix in a larger pot- make it more Floridian.  And I will add citrus fertilizer.  We'll see.  Once or twice this same plant has set one or two limes but they never make it to maturity.  Next time I am at the greenhouse I will see if they have a Meyer's Lemon.   Cross pollination is always a good way to go.

Goodwill Sunday and pink tags were one dollar and red tags were 50% off.  My two lucky colors at Goodwill.  I got a pair of Spring LLBean pants.  Cropped. A nice pink v-neck tee and another long sleeved brown V neck tee.  Perfect for Spring.  There were no Bean corduroy pants at all -in any of the sizes.  I would welcome a donor pair for patches and repairs.  No luck in either store. One dollar each.

A long time ago- when the carpenters were here every day putting in the bathrooms and the hallway floor tiles-- I was clipping and removing cross stitch floss from a Goodwill tablecloth.  The person doing the stitch had used the full 6 threads.  Ugh.  It was hard going.  This is the same thing only the cloth is not as coarse and the stitch is only two threads.  It looks so much like the other one.  Exact same colorways.  I got it for $8  and it is linen.  I am looking forward to cutting it up for the dye works as the weather here warms up.  I don't "do" tablecloths anymore.

I  also found a box with conte crayons and charcoal drawing sticks.  For one dollar.  Conte crayons are not one dollar anywhere so even if they are broken- it was a very good deal.  I used one to make marks on paper from my purse and it was the real thing.  I haven't opened the box yet- just peeked inside at Goodwill- so there might be some additional surprises in the box.

We got the bill from the Painter and, seriously, I think he needs to charge more for his services. I am  adding a gratuity to the check I send him.  G is finding all sorts of projects to do around the house so as not to attach the doors to the cabinets next to the fireplace.  I will call someone else to do it.  Painter was adamant that just taking the doors off had been his limit.  Like I said- have to actually be inside to do the job and no adult can fit inside.  Not sure the Twins could do the job but they would fit inside. There is a kid working at the greenhouse who might be able to crawl in there.

It's cold here but each day is a bit warmer than the one preceding.  We are going to the little independent movie theater tomorrow to see Knives Out.  I watched a Star Wars movie yesterday on tv--the one where Hans Solo gets killed by his son and Rey ends the movie climbing those Irish hills. 2015.  I actually really like the very first Rey movie where she is living on that sandy planet alone. I always hope they will show that one.

Daily Notes- February 15

                                

These two began in the components class that Jude was teaching before her move to the new place. You can see my little one inch components were sewn into small four squares.  Then I started adding borders from the scraps available to me.  Riley didn't like me getting up and wandering off.  So the color choices were odd but now they seem quite okay.

This week I have been adding more borders.  The one on the left got a coral border with a small scrap of the "onion skin-lime" eco print and then the grape juice eco dye which is more grape than the pink it looks here.  On the right- this one is darker--- and has new borders of the darkest of the grape juice eco dye, some slices of a very grey iron water/ rusted tin can/ string experiment.  A slightly more lime segment of the onion skin eco print.  These lime cloths are all linen and you can't see it here but they have a silky shimmer to them which is really quite lovely.

They each are getting close to letter size.  The one on the left needs two borders top and bottom or whatever- and the other only needs one wide border on, I think, the top edge.  I haven't decided on the colors yet.  For the left perhaps the rusty brown to bring the ones in the midsection forward.  The one on the right is pretty well color balanced from inside to outer edges.  Perhaps the silver gray of the right side rectangle for the top border?

When I get them to letter size- they will be complete.  And that's what they will be- letters.  They hold quite a bit of sadness and sorrow.  The one on the right was made before the one on the left.  And there is the first one I showed here- which is larger than these.

I am not sure- but I may have begun another of these pages.  If I did it is hidden in a tub of cloth and will surface in it's own good time.

G has gone off the the Home Show in Portland so I am here alone.  The temperature outside is in the single digits even with the sun shining- making a eye hurting glare on the snow. I have a book to read so I won't feel lonely.  And I can always go down and sort cloth, fold it and think about it.

My mammogram result was "normal" so that was a lovely Valentine in yesterday's mail.

Daily Notes- Valentine's Day

                                      

I will share my flowers with all of you.   My husband is off the the greenhouse to deliver flowers. He had a busy time last year but we'll see if this year is the same.  Being Friday- perhaps the guys will bring flowers home or to their date's house before going out to dinner.   G and I went out for dinner on the 14th once.  Service was terrible.  We never did that again.

I read a whole book yesterday- "The Bride Test" by Helen Hoang.  I enjoyed her first book "The Kiss Quotient" also.  She writes about characters on the "spectrum" as my daughter referred to it when she worked with social services. How they see and experience things.  Most of these new to me books and authors are showing up on the fiction shelves for the very first time.  A new selector.  They are  called Contemporary Romance.  I have another one on the shelf to read a second time.  I read them out of order- not knowing there were three books (now four).  My library only stocks 2 of the four so it's not actually "my fault" but certainly NOT the way I wanted to read them.  That author is Jasmine Guillory.  Also a Jove Contemporary Romance.  Start with the Wedding Date.

My husband has just returned home.  Interesting.  He made exactly one delivery. But did get the car washed.  It was pretty crusted up with salt.

Well, the Sun is shining but it's very very cold.  I got one load of wash done and not enough for a second load so that will be for another day.  Reading a book sounds like the way to go.  G is thinking about doing some word search puzzles.

Daily Notes- February 13th

                                     

Wide shot of the crab tree.  Snow covered.  Our clean, shoveled, ice chipped walks and driveway are now covered in a few inches of sticky snow-  Snowman Snow.  The street plow has not been down here- but it's hard to tell from the house.  With everything evenly WHITE.  Blindingly WHITE. And black.  Like an old movie in black and white.

Daughter is on her way into work at the Candy Factory.  She is working Production and not Customer Service (menopause) thankfully.  Dipping strawberries in chocolate.  Sounds disgusting. She gave me her route and time schedule so her father will be able to find her and her car in case she needs roadside assistance. She is nervous but has a shovel and fully charged phone and full tank of gas.

I have a new recipe for Confetti Cookies (thank you Deb!!!) which I will be assembling and baking after publishing this post.  I think I will make a package for the twins down the street.  I didn't get Valentines sent to friends this year so I might bypass the post office and tuck a card into a few mailboxes on the street here instead.  I know three homes that might like a card.  Four.  They might even like a few Confetti Cookies.

This weather is affecting my head.  A dull ache.  Probably too much snow glare.  It's been a hard Winter emotionally.  I have the reminder of Riley's favorite toy on the front porch.  I would always throw it into the snow and he would run, sniff and then dig it out.  We could do that for as long as it took me to shovel the walks and porch steps.   Then I would pick up the toy and we would go thru the house to do the back deck.  One of us walking and the other running and sliding on the floors.

Well, I'm done crying (for the moment) and G has brought me a lovely bouquet of roses and lilies (red and white lilies) and a bakery box with pastries with raspberry fillings.  I think he thinks today is Valentine's Day.  

Well, I have cookies to bake.  And G has the new snow blower to test on this February Snow.  I can hear it's motor running.

Daily Notes- February 12th

                                             

Work station.  The blue thing is my large ottoman.  It used to belong to the chair and a half that now lives with our daughter.  I tended to have my feet on or next to the dog bed.  And often have the ottoman loaded up with art supplies, books or a tray of interesting clutter.  I've been adding border strips to the small works I began with just a pile of scraps during the afternoons with Riley. Some of the centers are "one inch components squares" from Jude's Patchwork Part II.   They were in or near the pile of scraps. I went looking for more one inch squares this morning and found a small handful. Not colors or fabrics I was wanting to use right now.   I'll need to make more.

Today got away from me. G and I decided after breakfast to take advantage of above zero temps (40) and chip away at the sheet of ice covering the sidewalks etc before more snow comes tomorrow or Friday. Along with the "coldest temps this Winter".  Which will be really cold as it's been zero to 10 most of the last few weeks.  I know because I cannot go out when it is that cold.  I can't breathe air that cold. Reactive asthma would shut me down.

G chipped and I shoveled and the entire driveway and the sunny parts of the sidewalks are clear of about an inch thick layer of ice (or more) and dry now.  The shady sidewalks are dusted with sand.   Ready for more snow.  The brand new snow blower is charging up on the charger. Ready for it's first usage.

My new prescription lens came in- they are lovely- but......they didn't fit my glasses frames and they had the small reading lens section and not the wide reading section.  So, they are going to have to be re-cut.  This happened last time.  But I got to look around and things are nice and crisp looking.  No puking.  Second to the last pair- there was puking.  Prescription was right but the way it was made was wrong.  Our eye guy thought it was going to be bad again when he saw the new prescription because it was so much different.

I purchased the eight ounce raspberry Noosa yogurt and two packages of fresh raspberries today- to have for breakfast or lunch before, after and during Valentine's Day.  I wanted to go to the other grocery to get the honey Noosa but we stayed for a long time at the eye place.  I also got a lemon flavored one.  I think I can divide the raspberries between the three yogurts.  I often wonder why Noosa doesn't have the 8 ounce yogurt in a plain vanilla flavor. Perhaps they do in places that aren't Maine.

Daily Notes- February 11

                                       

This is all that is left of the piece I was working on- months and months ago.  The big black and brown half circle on the top is gone as are the pieces of cloth to either side of the dark blue linen in the center bottom.   All this taking apart was done either during the first few months of Riley being sick or over the summer.  I don't remember.  In fact, when I found this yesterday, in the midst of clearing up the cutting station- I was surprised at how small it had gotten.

But then, my Life had gotten very small.

And it seems even smaller here in February.  The busy-ness of the 30 days of Collage is over and I packed up all the papers etc and carried them up into the Attic.  Now I just have the few scrap made squares or rectangles I hand sewed while Riley slept alongside or under my feet. I learned to stay in one place.  Use just what was close by. A good lesson.

Now that moving about is okay.....I find I have too many choices.  And with too many choices I find myself being picky.  "Oh the pink is not the perfect pink for here".  With Riley next to me, any pink was good enough.  Just so I stayed with him so he could sleep.  I need to get back to that.  Just what is in the pile here next to me.  Not getting up to bring more and more pinks to choose from.

 Walked out to get the morning paper....the sidewalk and driveway are rutted with thick ice.  Not smooth.  Very bumpy.  I wore my restaurant non slip Crocs instead of the ice trackers which tend to slide on smooth ice unless you stamp your feet really hard.  And I made intentional steps.  And I got to the street and back (a long walk) with the newspaper and was relieved not to have fallen down. This means no coffee dates until the sidewalks are clear and dry.

Valentines' Day is coming closer and I promised G I would make sugar cookies and cut them out with the only new cutter I found over months of looking- a very large heart shaped cutter.  I'll make pink or white icing and load the cookies up with tons of multi colored sprinkles.  And I think as Time goes by- I will use a glass to cut circle cookies.  Or cut the dough into squares.  Not worry about having a cute holiday shape.  Just make cookies.  Because G loves Cookies With Tons of Sprinkles.

Daily Notes- February 10

                                                      

This is the look I am targeting with the white paint and dark hardwood floors. Right down to the wide trim boards around the doorway.  We also have wide baseboard going along the wall/floors. I wish we owned a tall cupboard like the one to the far left with the wide bowl on top (which I do own).

 But right now, G is having a real struggle with the cupboard doors. You actually might have to be inside the cupboard to get the hinges screwed in.  He was wearing his dog walking headlamp yesterday.  And still couldn't see where they go.  The original solid brass hinges (we brought with us to match to new black ones) caused the guy helping us to suggest we drive them down to one of the restoration places in Portland and sell them for "enough money to buy several bags of groceries".  Good to know.  Makes me wonder about all the other hinges we sent off to Habitat.

I was up early- 3am- the rain and ice hitting the windows- ice off the trees nearby.  It's 40 degrees right now and raining steady.  And that translates to a good slick of rain water on top of the ice covered steps and walks.  Great for slipping and cracking a few bones.

I had an appointment for a mammogram at 8am.  So we were out early.  The gal doing the mammogram said the new machine they are using- has created a problem with "re-call" appointments to do another image or two.  Is making the women coming in a second time very nervous. She was just letting me know I might need to return.  I can see how that would make a woman nervous.  And upset.  We'll see if I have to return.  I was in and out in like 20 minutes.

I finally sewed the two buttons back onto my winter coat.  Tightened the remaining buttons.  Just in case they were tempted to let loose of the coat. I have the two tubs of paper images to return to the Attic and I need to carry the gardening class materials back upstairs also.  I might have a seed starting class on the 29th.  Not for sure yet.  But until I find out- all these papers and things can be back up in the attic and not cluttering up the dining room.  I also have a "working container" of scraps for the days I feel like sewing.  Easy enough to carry back down to the sewing room if I want a clean table.

And......sad but true....I have a stack of wool remnants and pipe cleaners piled on a chair waiting to be made into wool Christmas Animals.  That never actually happened. I'll look and see if I have an empty tub to put all those supplies into with a big label on the side.  To remind me of the contents and the intentions for next Christmas. And then carry it up into the Attic.

But right now-- I am going to put drops in my eyes and sit on the couch with my eyes closed and if Fate will allow such a thing to happen- fall asleep.

Daily Notes0 February 9th

                                       

The Photo file on my phone had a few more paper collages from- whenever I was making collages. this one is interesting.  The map is Italian.  And I added some scribbles in pen or marker. I even sketched in the missing wing on the right side.   These were torn out of spiral art paper book. Perhaps I had intended to fill all the pages with collage?  But I stopped. And never came back.

Today is sunny but cold.  Tomorrow there is "weather" which is a mixture of cold/warm and snow/rain.  Usually, here in Maine an unfortunate mixture that causes heavy ice on trees- unhealthy trees with shallow roots- which fall heavily onto power lines.  But as of now- no wind and blindingly white snow cover.  Hurts one's eyes to look outside.

It was like that at bedtime.  The huge Moon shining on the icy snow.  You could go outside and it was like daylight.  The moon is in my sign. Don't know what that means.

We are off to Goodwill, Library, Grocery and G wants to visit a hardware store for new black/bronze hinges for the doors on the cabinets either side of the fireplace.  We did find the glass shelves for the bookcases.  They also need black hooks to hold up the shelves.  The dark wood of a few pieces of furniture and one lamp stand out against all the white.  I am thinking about framed art in the Attic that has never hung in this house.  Thinking how it might look.  Thinking of other unframed art that might be framed in the next few months.  And I need more new lamps.  Bigger.

I am thinking the items I packed (carefully) away and stored in the Cloth Attic (aka Magic) will stay there. I don't miss any of it.  I'm not ready to be rid of it yet--but just not interested in having it back in the living room.  Out of sight- out of mind is a pretty strong feeling right now.  I can (sort of) understand how someone could walk away from a house in the middle of a meal and not ever return.  Witch Hazel in Braiding Sweetgrass.  But I would have come back for the pots and pans and the bed quilts. And my favorite shirts and pants.  And the aprons.

I have two Witch Hazel trees here.  G dug them up and carried them home from the landscaping of the company restaurant he was running.  They were going to be tossed into the dumpster by the parent company.  Larger parking lot. I have one in the front yard by the pull out to the back yard- we can drive down there- and a second by the bird feeders to the right of the vegetable garden.

We went out for early dinner yesterday.  We like eating at around 4pm.  I had a lovely gin and tonic. Extra lime.  I had eggplant.  A nice salad.  And for dessert one scoop of vanilla and one deep chocolate gelato.  Perfecto.  G had a dish of pasta, hot Italian sausage and Mussels. He had limoncello tart.  Also quite lovely.  We were back home before it got dark.

Daily Notes- February 8th

                                       

A collage from 13 years ago. I had a photo in the file and had forgotten it.  Must have snapped a picture while looking for loose collage papers in the storage tub. Fun to find it this morning. Walking down the street if you look at the right bottom closely.

What a morning.  Up early to get to the greenhouse and get copies made for handouts.  Then talking for 2 hours straight and then the after class personal moments with each person attending. I don't know when they started wanting that.  But they expect it now.  And the personal minutes are on a wide range of topics not the actual class material.  When talking about Edible Landscaping I also tell them about Permaculture.  I think they belong together.

So....the Painter is finished.  G is changing out the beige plug in switches for white.  And as with everything about this house- the new switch plate covers are not as deep as the old ones and the box is sticking out too far and there will be a gap.  He knows I can't be comfortable with a gap.  But I said I knew he was doing his best and trying very hard and I will be okay with the gap.

Now I will try and be okay with the gap.

I am taking a break from Swiffering the wood floors.  Getting up all the paint dust and paint chips.  I have the area where G is working to do. The floors look shiny and clean- I used up the entire box of Swiffer pads and most of the bottle of cleaner.  I used a lot.  We don't do well with breathing in dust. The Painter doesn't sweep. After the workers left during the bedroom/bathrooms work- I swept and wet mopped all the floors- then we got in the car and went for ice cream.  We have to wait months before we can go get ice cream.

We have been watching the TiVo recorded episodes of Jane Austen's Sandition.  The subject matter is eye brown raising.  This man was harassing a young woman and to deter him- "she took him in hand".  And G and I thought we heard it wrong but it was repeated and we got it right.  Jane Austen.  And that same "taking in hand"  character lists ways her uncle molested her as a child.  And we have a slave trader.  I would not have been surprised if this was a very late Alcott.  But not Austen.

Sounds like G is winding down on the switch plates and I can finish off my Swiffering.  Gotta go.

Daily Notes- February 7th

                                                

The crab tree.  A color photo.  You can imagine you see a bit of brown in the shrub to the mid-left. We woke up to ice crystals and shiny walkways.  G put down sand.  The wire in the photo is the guard fencing around the hosta that grow under this tree next to my front porch.  Deer Food.  So I need to keep it fenced but with fencing that becomes invisible.  Texture.  And in the back- my horizon.  Always Brown turning to Black.  A change to Grey today.

I stopped doing laundry to come talk to you.  Three loads so far. Changing bedding on a kingsized bed generates so much laundry. I put the white linen duvet cover on the bed. It was one of the first I purchased and was on sale due to a flaw.  Today I mended the flaw along the top seam.  One side had a seam allowance the other (the flaw) did not.  No one will ever see my mending.

The Painter has gone home- he is putting the finish coat on the cabinet doors and the baseboard trim. He has the Atrium door to do tomorrow and then will be finished. Tomorrow.  I think the side panels of the bookcases will also get finish coat.  G has found the glass shelves.

A brand new snow blower is being delivered today.  And they are asking for only payment for parts they can't return.  No labor charges for the weeks of trying to fix the old snowblower.  And this one is like the one a neighbor lent us yesterday.  It swivels itself.  Turns itself.  Which G says is a wonderful thing. I'll take his word for it.

No cloth to show today.  I can't remember what I did instead, yesterday.  Something.  And tomorrow I have the Edible Landscaping class to teach at 10am.  Two people signed up.  Freezing cold tomorrow and sun.  G is thinking about fussing with electricity when I hit publish.  Changing out the switches on the three panel light here by my left shoulder.  Close to my computer.  We changed all the covers but some of the little up and down things are the wrong color.  He wants to fix that.

I may be here tomorrow or not.  Cross your fingers and click your heels.

Daily Notes- February 6th

                                                     

I squared up the edges (sort of) and filled in the slope at the top (I found some 1.5 inch brown and lavender squares in the sewing room)- after deciding that was the top.  I added one button.  An eye to match up with the one across the cloth over on the right edge.  The blues are from the eco dying in undiluted grape juice from my grapes.  The white and black was my lucky find- beginner's luck- of Walmart black which bleaches to gray and then to white years ago- I though all black bleached to white- no. I only have scraps.  And I have actually taken older work apart to salvage the Walmart black.  The beige with marks is - string tied around a rusty tomato soup can plus iron water.

It's been snowing.  And we've been shoveling (I cleared the sidewalks three times already).  But we both ran out of energy and called a neighbor to ask if we could borrow his snowblower to do the apron in front of the double garage.  Big area and hard to manage the snow - you end up shoveling the same snow over and over until you reach an edge..  Being old like we are we just can't do it.  Still no news about the repair of our own snowblower.  Now they think it's a bearing.  I think I spelled that correctly. ( Steve called- they  are pretty sure the snowblower is dead and we'll need to buy a new one- we've all heard that before haven't we?). G will take the news hard but then perk up with the thought of a new machine.

It will be raining soon.  Then it will all freeze overnight. So, it's better for us to have the snow cleared before either of those two things happen. So we can have a large sheet of smooth ice in the morning. Perfect. Instead of an ice covered layer of lumpy snow.

The Painter says he'll be finished by Saturday. He hopes.  He wants to be finished by then.  The fireplace mantle and the two niches and cupboards under them are now primed.  Everything is white except for the Atrium door to my left.  It still has some of the beige/grey trim color. There is no yellow. Now the only untouched room is the kitchen/family room.

I read a book yesterday- Natalie Tan's Book of Luck & Fortune by Roselle Lim.  Chinese restaurant owners in Chinatown, San Francisco.  Present day.  I enjoyed it.  The author's first book.  I always try and read any book that is an author's first. There is magic, cooking, recipes and ghosts. And love.

My desk looks quite nice all cleaned up (ish) and my keyboard is clean.  And my drawer is full of white index cards ready for notes, recipes and book lists.  I have a small self portrait of Vincent Van Gogh here on the desktop---looking at me. Love the swirling blues in the background. I think from looking at the back- it's from an advertisement for Google, Kindle and Roku.

I have a nice cup of hot tea made and I never bring liquids to the computer desk so I am going to have to end this post.  Which is fine because I have 9 emails to read and delete.

Daily Notes- February 5

                                                

Cloth Collage Materials.  And seeing things from a different perspective.  I found only one additional
brown and lavender square so I started sorting thru the boxes of scraps and cut squares and found what I have in the upper third of the image.  I was doing that with the box of paper images every day last month- just sifting thru until something caught my eye.  Not always something that I was looking for.

These will be abstract cloth collage rather than ones with identifiable "story" content.  I am not able (as yet) to create a spirit animal or object- other than my flower- to inhabit my cloth surfaces- to create a story.  I may never be able to do that.  It feels like a hard push.

It's surprising how something like being able to sit at my desk and type on the computer keypad is making me so happy this morning.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

And the new white paint does make other things look more dingy.  I am noticing the shade on my lamp. Ick.  And white makes my desk look very cluttered.  I need to eliminate.  Clutter.  I am noticing quite a few stacks of blank index cards (now all inside the drawer).  I stopped typing to clean out the upper left drawer.  Index cards and spelling books.  For when I know a word I want to use but am unsure of it's spelling. Now the drawer is "tidy" and sparks joy?  Drawer two is full of batteries.  I think they can be stored somewhere else.  But I do need them for the keypad and the touch pad and the mouse.

My next cleaning task will be this keyboard with a lot of Q-tips.  A LOT of Q-tips.

I also- taking my cue from my dear friend Connie- finally made my appointment for a mammogram.  8:20 on Monday morning.  Been putting it off for 4 years now.  I just couldn't be bothered to make the appointment and go.  Simple as that.  But I did and I am going and that item is crossed off the "Let's Get These Things Done" list.

So- I'm back and I am staying put.  Writing to you each day.  Like I have since 2005.  Fifteen years. Why fuss with something that works huh?  Next job is putting all the paper collage images back into their containers.  Snapping on the lids.  I found nonstick paper to slide into the collage book to keep the pages from sticking together.  I added a paper flower- my flower- to the cover.  There are actually two blank pages.  Someday- when I go back and look at the book- I might have a need to add something- have something more to say.  And there will be space for that,

Daily Notes- February 4

                                                   

Cloth Two.   Worked on this yesterday and today before we went out for "lunch"  at 2:30.  The colors are muted by the almost 4pm light here in Maine.  Cloudy and no sun today. I've run out of the brown and lavender cloth in the left side squares. I didn't know that (I always feel like I have an endless supply of certain cloth).  Might have to un-sew or that side will be overweight. I was not liking the purple piece until I topped it with the black and white.  Now it doesn't suck all the air out of the room. But it might also get removed.  I got used to moving things around with the paper collages.  Now I'm feeling like I want to constantly move the cloth around.  We'll see how it goes.  Unsewing.

We just now hooked up the tv and the computer but we were told not to get anything closer than 12 inches to the walls or trim- but he'd prefer 18 inches so the paint had good airflow to dry properly and he asked us to wait 3 hours after he left to move anything.    G is already spread out on the couch. Watching tv at the dining table is not something we can do for more than an hour or two and yesterday it was 6 to 8 hours.  I was sewing and G was coloring and both of us felt our backs stiffening up on us yesterday and today. We would have gone to the movies but there is nothing showing that we want to see.

The walls around me are beautiful though it might not be the finish coat and he is priming the baseboards and the doors. And the Painter did one coat on the fireplace mantel just to let me know how it will look.  Looks marvelous.  Thinking about breaking into song- like they do in Summer Music Theater. Marvelous. Delightful. We are still a "work zone" with tarps and plastic etc. but we can sit on the couch and read and watch tv.   Painter will return on Thursday.

I made up a list of fruiting plants and trees for my class on Saturday.  Nice to have a list.  When you go shopping for things.  I used a list sent to me by a gentleman with a large garden and I added to it with my books and reference materials.  I'll go look for my Master Gardener Workbook to see if there was something about fruit trees and fruiting shrubs. That would be lovely.

Well, I am not stopping the daily letter to who ever reads this blog -enough of you sent emails to let me know you read but do not comment.  Which is just fine.  Comments are difficult on most blogs these days.  I can't reply on my own blog.  So anyone who manages to get a comment published is a super star in my book. And thank you for the lovely supportive emails.  So many and I was quite overcome reading them.  You are all so lovely!!! I'll try to deserve them.

Daily Notes- February 2nd

                                             

Not a collage of paper but one of cloth?  Larger than 10 by 12.  Hand sewn of eco dyed cloth (me), commercial and DebL's special brew (the old robe).  Riley's Cloth.  Made in the last few days.  While we watched Law and Order together and I rubbed his back with my foot. He gave the cloth a nose over every so often.  Riley always took an interest in my cloth projects.

                                    

Avocado Toast.  My first time.  Loved it.  The toast was a honey oat.  Very yummy. Avocado the perfect softness.  Now wondering why I waited so long to try it.

This is my second try at a post today.  The other one- too much.  I hope in the 5 minutes it was live that no one read it.  If you did- try and forget, will you?

I was yammering on and on about depression and the things in my Life that trigger it.  Something did trigger it and that got me thinking of ending the blog writing.  But the blog writing was never really  more than a daily letter- to someone. You?   It's like Morning Pages but not a secret.  Though I do have to go do some Washing Machine Pages in the next few days. Which are quite secret. And I think it's okay to admit to being depressed.  To struggle with being happy.  The dark wall of trees surrounding this house never helps.

So, yes, something triggered the latest round of feeling depressed and No Sam!!! do not buy me a Happy Light to stare at.  I've just about figured out the combo of events which was pretty strange.  Getting past all that.  Spending time just looking at my -only the primer- white walls.  G and I stood in the hallway by the front door looking at the room last night - the fireplace and the two flanking bookcases.  Lovely.  Serene. We might not use the heavy wooden shelves- G thinks we still have the glass shelves. I am thinking I might not have shelves at all.  Art on the back wall with the spotlights on.  Our moment of Zen.

This Time around- I am going for plain and simple.  We took another two cartons of stuff to Goodwill. Glass vases, bowls and compotes.  Six red wooden apples.  A burlap stuffed mouse from Germany- 20 inches tall.  The shopping basket I used to carry in the car to hold groceries. Daily shopping was a thing in Germany.  I got used to it in the second year living there.

I don't know what Life holds for me in February. Today I purchased Seed Starting potting mix and will be starting seeds in my milk jugs today or tomorrow.  I get my eyes checked to morrow and will most likely need new lenses.  So no reading tomorrow.  I might just sit and close my eyes and think. Feel.  And, well till tomorrow, huh?

Daily Notes- February 1

                                                

Prompt 29- Create a welcoming psychic space that supports your ongoing creative goals and activities.

The Sea, a Chair, A Fig Leaf,  and the Sky. Buddha from a past Life.  Heart- a symbol that means everything to me is not shown but it exists in each of these pictures.

                                        

Facing page. The only blank page for me to use- but perhaps meant to be this way?  I would  have to rumble thru the other 29 collages to remind myself what this one was about.  I may do that.  I may create an index.  It's an early one. And it seems frantic and nervous and the facing page is calm and serene.  The change in me.  Left side my first mixture of oil pastel crayons and images.  The 29th prompt- only images.  Symbols.

This whole collage adventure of 30 days (ending tomorrow) has been a great learning adventure for me.  Opening avenues in my mind and emotions.  Using art supplies each day for 30 days.  I am GRATEFUL.  I am THANKFUL that I opened myself to do a challenge like this.  So out of my comfort zone.  So "touchy/feely" and so not me.

Buttoned up and Walled up and always Stepping Back from anything like this.  I was timid at first.  And then as the days went by I felt doors opening and it was okay.  As Grace would say.. it was so okay.

Tomorrow is the last collage.  I barely have room in the book for one more. And tears in my eyes typing these words. I never imagined that I could come so far in 30 days.