Friday, March 09, 2012

Three Days Before Returning To Work

Yesterday, G's day off, was spent doing "not much of anything".  I started the day by dressing in my tan corduroy pencil skirt, brown tights, white LS tee, lime green tank top and brown zip front cardigan.  The skirt is too big and didn't look right. (baggy)  So, it is going into the Goodwill bag.  I would have felt better about the rest of the outfit if I had worn the new brown cords from LLBean.  But I wanted to wear tights.  The brand and the size of the new tights was perfect.  Now I can go find a navy pair.  No picture because I didn't feel like it, since the skirt was baggy.

I dressed up for the meeting we had at the bank with G's IRA banker and an invited guest.  A lawyer who is a retirement/investment consultant.  He manages your assets so you can retire and still live.  They seem to think the assets we have will give us a nice income once we start using it.  I want to delay "using it" as long as possible.  It won't last long if we are remodeling bathrooms and the kitchen.  And I am going back to work on Monday.  Did I mention that?  LOL.  Screw the unemployment Work Search Log!

Then we visited Staples and I purchased the MS chalk ($4 for 4 sticks) and the chalkboard labels to use on my storage jars.  The instructions say "reusable" meaning I can erase what I wrote on the label and fill the jar with something new.  Cereal instead of clothespins for an example.  I can't wait to write something on my homemade chalkboard with this new expensive chalk.  I have a Vegetable Starting class on March 24th and want to use my new chalkboard to list "important points".

I also received a "contract" in the mail for a Rose Growing Class that I reluctantly agreed to teach next February.  Lord, I have never had a contract for anything and it just feels so claustrophobic.  It's from a well known Garden Club.  I gave them names and numbers of "other people they could call" and none of those contacts paid off and one of their members had seen me teach and they wanted me.  I keep thinking they were in N's Rose class last year.  I didn't teach Roses in 2011.  I am feeling cornered and don't like that feeling at all.  A real Introvert.

After the bank, Staples, reading the mail and then walking the dog in the woods (the paths alternated between soggy wet and ice covered) G and I ventured out to the Sea Dog for lunch.  It's Maine restaurant Week so there was a special $20 menu of your choice of starter, main dish and dessert.  I ordered for G.  He had fried cheese filled Italian rice balls on marinara, short rib ragu over gnocchi (not as good as my homemade gnocchi) and then, to finish his high carb meal, fried Italian donuts and chocolate sauce to dunk them in.  He has finally decided to let me order his food for him.  I had my favorite chicken topped with ham and cheese and a side salad with the most delicious Ranch dressing I have ever tasted.  My food arrived with his main course so I got to sit and watch him eat the appetizer and then the dessert with no food of my own.

Which brings me to the central point of my "Great Unhappiness".  When I am doing low carb correctly, I am rarely, if ever, really hungry.  So, I must be doing something wrong.  But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is.  I have analyzed my menus in my journal entries.  Nothing has changed.  I even stopped snacking on raw almonds during the day.  Then, I realized I was eating grapefruit.  And tiny mandarin oranges.  I intend to finish off the fruit I still have and then not buy anymore.  And I will stop weighing myself and then crying.  And I promise not to try on the yellow orange "test pants" any more.  They did fit. And now they fit (sort of) but I would never wear them out of the house.  My diet life is off the rails and, as I get closer to May (which will be a whole year of eating lowcarb) I am more and more frustrated not to be getting any closer to my goal weight.  I am stuck.  Stalled.

My alternatives are 1.  To just wait and keep eating the stuff I have always eaten (and lost weight before).  2.  Try the "eat only meat" three day fast.   3.  Try the eat only 1000 calories of Fat three day fast.  I have decided against the Meat Fast or Fat Fast as, in the comments, yes, they lost 4 to 8 pounds in three days, but all or most came back once they stopped.  Why be miserable eating stuff for three days and then have it be for nothing???   I don't think I have any readers with low carb stall experience, so no chance of advice.  I have heard of these stalls to last months and months.  So. Very. Difficult.  I am results driven.  I don't do well with "Waiting".

I have shirts and pants to iron.  The living room to straighten up.  We are having grilled burgers tonight with bacon, cheese and caramelized onions.  Delicious

1 comment:

Diane N said...

I think you should spend less time stressing about your diet, your weight and your wardrobe and spend more time focusing on making art, learning new things, etc... Just a thought.