Monday, November 07, 2011

Rollercoaster: Food Addiction Is A Bitch

It isn't easy being ME right now.  One moment, I am all "right with the world" and the next minute I am ready to tear my skin off.  Content.  Angry.  And my nose is running this morning and my head feels foggy and I feel dizzy.  Perhaps, I am sick?  I fixed myself some breakfast (a bit late) and hope that evens things out.  Trying to control my diet is difficult at times.  Sometimes impossible.

G did things to my computer screens again and nothing makes me more angry.  I like things plain and simple.  All these swirling colors and patterns make my head and my eyes hurt.  I have trouble reading the screen.  I get frustrated.  It's my computer.  I am okay with him using the computer but I really don't like him changing things.  Everything is now a dull gray.  Plain dull gray.  I changed it myself and left him an angry note to begin his day.  Will he EVER learn????

My Sunday at work was pleasant.  We had very few customers in the afternoon so I got to have one on one chats with my co workers.  Which is nice as I don't have any friends to talk to any more.  Pity Party.  My day at work yesterday started a whole hour early as I had no idea I was to "fall back".  Really, it quite took me by surprise.

My diet has now contracted even further.  My fridge seems to be turning the food inside into garbage which is limiting what I have left in there that is still edible.   Cheese sticks wrapped in thin ham slices is still okay.  The lettuce storage is iffy.  I have carrots which I shouldn't be eating.  And beets I can roast in the oven.  I do plan to visit the grocery today.  G needs breakfast items.  I gave ALL my cereal to my daughter.  She will take it to work.  She doesn't eat cereal.  I guess, I don't eat cereal anymore, either.

G got all the grass mowed yesterday.  The perennials are still not trimmed back.  I need to get out there and do some garden work. I don't want to.  Simple as that.

There isn't much I actually "want" to do.  I seem to be gaining weight or putting on water or something.  It makes me feel depressed.  Like a loser.  I don't like the sudden change in the weather to "winter" already.  None of us at work are happy to be making Christmas things.  No one is buying any of it.  We foresee a very UnMerry Christmas season.

Hey, is that gloomy enough for you?  I think I will just dig in and get started on a few things.  Go to the grocery.  Think about what to eat for supper.  Last night's broccoli cream soup went into the garbage.  Seemed like a good recipe but G wouldn't eat it (after I cooked it and was tired etc) so I just threw it away. What the hell.  Some recipes "read" as being delicious and then they aren't.  I ate it.  A bit too salty which is why I feel "heavy" this morning.  Water. Weight.  One Day At A Time.  That's all I can control.


Annie said...

Love the parrot!

Hope you are feeling a bit better, we all have the mood changes, we ladies of a certain age, so I do understand.

Her's a (hug) for you.

Pick up some chocolate at the supermarket too, that will help.

: )

Anonymous said...

Me thinks a bright light should be in your future. I have to sit in front of one every morning beginning in October through to about March/April. It helps a lot with the "angries"

Diane N said...

I'm sorry you're feeling angry and out of sorts this morning. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

I absolutely know what you mean about your husband messing with your computer. Mine likes to do that, too, and it really leaves me fuming. I have taken to packing up my laptop and hiding it in different spots day to day so he can't easily locate it. Fortunately, he loses interest in the search pretty easily so most of the time my laptop stays safe.

I would like to put sticky notes on things that says, "MINE!! HANDS OFF!" but I doubt that would deter him. I even hide my favorite finger hoe and shovel because he doesn't clean them when he's done using them.