Monday, April 02, 2012

My True Self Image

Taken from the Sartorialist.com this morning.  Yes, she seems too thin but the way she looks and is dressed is exactly who I am.  I looked like this until I was 10 years old.  This is the way my father looked and my brother (the family I resemble the most).  This is the woman who resides, hidden, inside my body. I managed this again in the mid 70's when I lost 50 pounds and weighed 134. ( that is 40 pounds less than I weigh right this minute) I looked and felt like "myself".  This is how I would dress.  It is how I have dressed even at 238 pounds.  Nearly one hundred pounds more than my "perfect weight".

Have you ever glimpsed a picture and felt an instant, guttural, response?  I won't bedevil the point, I just wanted you to see who I REALLY am.  To know me.  This picture speaks to my soul. My heart.

Edit here: Read this and then finish reading.

My breakfast this morning included REAL whole eggs.  I bought two dozen in a moment of sheer lunacy. I scrambled two this morning (I had to dispose of the third as it had "things" attached to the yolk) and I nearly vomited while eating them.  Whole eggs, scrambled, equals the most disgusting thing I have eaten in awhile.  I will try soft boiling.  Or frying them.  But I can see that nothing good is going to come of buying two dozen eggs.  Some with tiny feathers sticking to the shells.

After work yesterday, I added the precooked meatballs to a large casserole and dumped in two cans of Trader Joe's marinara sauce, some tomato paste and a few sprigs of fresh basil.  I let it simmer while I helped G with the bathroom faucet installation and then I took my shower.  G had been working all day on removing the old faucets (our daughter was enlisted when she dropped some tax stuff off) and then I was called to serve just as I walked in the door from work.  It's all done now.  I think he added the water connections just before 9:30 pm last night.  The guys at the Loew's said the job would take 30 minutes, which is both hilarious and very sad. I was responsible for lining up the faucet handles and for reporting when the drain lever was up or down and therefore when the drain closure was up or down.

I am going on line to search for any additional items in the faucet design.  Like drawer pulls, towel bars and a small glass shelf to fit under the medicine cabinet.  Eventually, we will be trading the fixtures (bath, vanity and toilet) for newer models but not until we add a new tile floor.  We are thinking of getting a professional to do the heavy lifting on those projects.  Everything will stay in it's original spot.  The master bath involves removing walls and putting the toilet where the tub is now.  And a walk in shower where the toilet is now.   More complicated but still "do it yourself" able.  Not.  I still have to get the power sander and sand the walls down in the hall bath to get ready for the new paint.  Just to make the space presentable.

Remember when I was so pleased to report the 4.5 pound weight loss.  Well, it's all back.  Nothing is working.  Not the change in food.  Not the increased water.  This is all I am going to say about this, here.

4 comments:

Annie said...

OMG, Joanne, that picture!

I've got goosebumps right now because that's my sister or certainly looks like her. I know it isn't her, so close it's surreal. She's been dead for six years, both my sisters,younger than myself, died of cancer.My youngest sister just two months ago. So sad.

The one who looks like the pic was always that thin, the rest of the family were on the heavier side.

Joanne, how tall are you? Don't think I've seem that mentioned.

Joanne S said...

Now this is truly spooky. Once before, and the spooky part is that it was actually WHEN I had lost the 50 pounds, gone to find a job and was opening the door at work. The delivery guy gasped when he looked at me, clutched his chest and staggered backwards. I thought hear t attack and was ready to do CPR. When he could speak he whispered "how did you get here?"

I looked JUST exactly like his girlfriend he had said goodbye to that morning before driving away to deliver candy.

And now I post a picture that looks exactly like someone's sister. Goosebumps.

Unknown said...

Hi Joanne,
I've been following along but not had much time for commenting for awhile.

I hear your struggles with diet, and I really urge you to look into Paleo. You enjoy cooking and vegetables and it would be a whole new and exciting culinary world for you, especially with summer approaching. You can discover the enjoyment of food again. No counting calories. And it's not much of a stretch from the Atkins you are finding so frustrating.

There are some wonderful cookbooks out there right now - Well Fed by Melissa Joulwan is the best I think right now. Or try Paleo Comfort Foods, or Make it Paleo. They all have wonderful blogs and websites full of inspiration. Visit Whole9 and check them out.

My mother-in-law, who is 76, is following Paleo at about 80% and has had some wonderful success with weight loss. You'll sleep well and have more energy too.

Just experiment - go 100% for one month. I promise you'll see some change in the right direction!!

Thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

Joanne, I hear your frustration! I have been watching my diet for 6 months now, and I have been on a plateau for over 2 months!!! It is so frustrating...but I will not give up...because what is the alternative. sigh~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ♥♥♥