Anger Management

I am having some problems with "being angry" which could actually be frustration or annoyance.  I find my behavior to be less than what I would hope it could be.  Finding fault and criticizing are the hallmarks of my negative personality.  Which I have been made aware of, over the years, and struggle to control "one day at a time".  The negative is my fall back personality position.  Always has been.  Too much time on my hands (to think) and too little "happy" work to do and I become progressively more negative.

Yesterday, at work, was so very, very bad.  We had someone in the building most of the day who was corrosive when in close proximity to me.  If this person is ever here again, in the months to come, I will use one of my sick days, and stay away.  It is going to take quite awhile for this much negativity (from this person) to clear out of my system. Sigh!

I plan on making the Southern Pulled Pork from Martha Stewart for tonight's dinner.  A good warm meal should help cheer me up.  I also need to visit the grocery store as we are "out" of a few necessary supplies.  I have two or three loads of laundry to do, a general idea of what I want to try for the Maps 12 by 20 due on Tuesday, May 1, and some general gardening to do outside.  Overnight temps were very cold but the sun is shining right now.  G is cutting the grass.  Riley is resting in the sun on the back porch.

I stayed up way longer than necessary last night (replaying the corrosive comments) and trying, unsuccessfully to disengage my own negativity, when I happened on QVC and the new VitaMixer.  The host was demoing the ease of making ice cream (sugar free), natural peanut butters (sugar free), almond milk and fresh, hot soups in the new VitaMixer.  I have always wanted one but they cost too much.  Not last night. And the new machine is smaller. I dialed and purchased.  They make it so easy.  The phone was answered by a nice woman who said "hello, Joanne".

 I had been sort of depressed thinking of another whole summer without ice cream (due to the sugar content).  Then the host made peach ice cream with frozen peaches and soy milk.  I would use heavy cream and frozen strawberries for my favorite strawberry ice cream.  Starbucks uses the VitaMixer to make their drinks.  And, I could make a smoothie using whole foods. I can also grind up raw almonds, coconut and flax seeds into flours to use in grain free baked goods.  I haven't actually progressed to actually baking and eating " grain and sugar free baked goods" yet.  I really am afraid of gaining weight. I'll have 30 days to try the new mixer and then decide if I want to keep it or return it.  Easy.

My thoughts on my new way of eating is not to replace or substitute the forbidden with replicas.  I would prefer to keep it "clean" and just not eat that particular food item.  I mean, really, why try and fool myself into thinking my food choices are "normal"?  They aren't. Easier said than done. A fellow employee saw my ham and cheese roll ups the other day at lunch and said "wow, what a great idea for my kid's lunchbox"  After watching me dip radish slices in salt and chew them, she asked  "does that satisfy the "chip" desire?"  And she and her husband tried it that night and both were surprised that it did, indeed, satisfy the need for "chips".  I guess I can be the vehicle for change, one radish at a time.  LOL

To those readers who suggested books, I have ordered The Crown and have the Sister Fidelma books on my list.  Thank You!