Adrift

I woke at eight.  Another night of waiting too long to finally go to bed, then not being able to sleep as my mind just kept adding things to the "what to worry about" file box in my head.  G's alarm went off at 3 I think and that's when I fell asleep.

I have been visited at work (like a Christmas Carol) by friends from my past here in Maine.  Good friends that I haven't seen in years, from my quilting days.  Sweet friends from my years at the library.  If I was a fatalist, I would feel like they were arriving to say farewell.  Or, perhaps, they are coming to say "remember".  It is oddly worrying.  Why have I let them go?  Where was I going when I decided I no longer needed to see them on a regular basis?  They have all said they miss me.  After each visit, I wondered why I never missed them.

I no longer feel great anticipation for the blog and my, now, daily posting.  I don't read many blogs, perhaps 15 to 20, and they hardly post on a daily basis.  So, not much to read each morning.  The bloggers who began their blogs at about the same to time I did, years and years ago (about the same time I let all those friendships slide), also seem to have lost interest in daily writing.  But they do advertise the classes and products they are offering.  Blogging has led to commerce for most.  Most of my reading is now in regard to Mad Men episodes.  Have we outgrown the internet?

It's raining here in Maine.  And it is also cold.  I am very happy to be home today and not at work.  Yesterday was sad enough.  Yes, sad but not bad.  The plants all looked bedraggled.  Either too wet or too dry.  Nothing "fresh" is being delivered by the daily trucks.  I had help watering the dry baskets.  I got to lift the newly watered plants back up into their spots.  And I got cold, dirt filled water poured on my clothes.  Nothing in the world like wet clothing on a cold rainy day.

I have a long list of things that I have put off doing.  Paying bills, ironing shirts, buying groceries.  Finally reading the last quarter of the overdue book I am enjoying.  G made himself dinner last night.  Pasta with butter and cheese.  There is nothing else.  Well, there is yogurt and cereal.  I had deli ham rolled around cheddar cheese.  I continue to lack interest in preparing a cooked dinner for the two of us.  Or for the one of us still eating a normal dinner.

I have an approaching deadline for the new 12 by 20 art quilt.  Maps.  May 1.  June 19th I have the Spring 12 by 12 due for my own little project.  I can't think of a thing for Maps.  Zero.  The rain has stopped thundering down on the skylights.  Perhaps Riley will now consider going outside to do his morning "business".   Or not.