G was up in the attic digging his large fish tank out "from under" so we could give it away, and he found a box of slides from our first few years of marriage. Lordy, my hair was a mess!!! I must have been too busy to comb it in the morning. And now the slides are "no more" and my Nikon will no longer be taking Kodachrome film pictures. I loved using that old black body camera (which was already old in the 1960's when we got it). We never could afford a slide projector (we were always so poor in the early days), so I have never seen most of these slides as they should be viewed. We hold them up to bare lightbulbs.
There are a few slides that make me think that I was (possibly) a good mother. One with a very young Sam being kissed into giggles and another two of her with her very large blackboard in her bedroom, drawing all over the surface (huge drawings) and her baby brother (just learning to stand up) trying to get into the chalkboard action. She's giving him the "schoolteacher" hand. Stand back or else. He's laughing. Nothing has changed in 38 years.
The "moment" of Oh, I did good things, came when I saw the huge blackboard, at her two year old height level and saw how well used it was. I had forgotten the blackboard. I know I purchased wooden toys, but could never afford the wooden play kitchen. But they had wooden blocks, farm animal toys and a Fischer Price barn, a little table and chairs. Toys with multiple uses. Open to different uses. I read the new "Mommy Blogs" now and I wonder if I would measure up. In this pile of old Dinosaur slides, I find evidence that I did measure up, I did give them a creative and wholesome start in life. Perhaps that is why they are so healthy, happy and intelligent now? I can hope it had some, little something, to do with me. I was a creative wholesome Mommy. Wow.
In other news: After three hours of trying to replace items that were no longer working on the furnace (no longer made, have to refigure the set up to use new things, get more parts), we have heat. The repair guy, K, is a real trooper and he gave us a tutorial on how the oil fired boilers work. This morning, I am fielding calls from the sales guy as he tries to figure out a way to give us heat and hot water with a new system. The short height clearance of the crawl space we have (instead of a basement that floods) is causing difficulty for him. The boiler I want is too tall. The hot water tank we need is too tall. But we have heat. The house is warming up. I have on one set of clothing and not two.
I took the opportunity of having no heat, to take my beloved Christmas Tree down. I REALLY enjoyed looking at all it's bright sparkle each day (late afternoon into evening). I was very sad to see it go. The huge heap of dry needles it left behind, even though it was drinking 2 liters of water a day, has been put into the compost pile. I sat on the couch yesterday afternoon, missing my twinkly tree. It's so sad to face winter without it.
My lunch date for today cancelled due to illness, so I will eventually get dressed and walk Riley, but not yet. Riley had a wonderful off leash walk with G yesterday in the woods. Ran around with two goldens, also three years old. They "played well together". Someday, we will have a dog park in Brunswick and I can take Riley there to play, off leash, with other dogs. They can run around like crazy and have tons of fun. Someday soon , I hope.
I think I will have a second cup of coffee. And the rest of my toasted baguette. The day, stretching out in front of me, is mine to do with as I please.
3 comments:
They make scanners now that will scan old slides, negatives, etc... I have one that didn't cost too horribly much and it doews a beautiful job. It's by Epson. You might want to look at their web site and see what they have to ofer these days.
What about using on of those on demand water heaters instead of a regular type? I don't know much about boilers but would on demand work for your house? You should check it out if you didn't already.
I'm glad you found the slides and I'm glad they made you feel good about yourself. You are your own harshest critic but then I guess we all are.
Sorry about all the typos. Getting used to a new keyboard.
We picked out some of our best slides and had them scanned as digital files. Most were so faded! You sound like me. I wonder and wonder if I was a good mother. I tried. I wanted to be. Is it even possible to do it all right? Once, when my son was doing some troubling things I confessed to my mother that I wondered if I had done something wrong and she said, "We all did things wrong, I'm sure, but I did the best I knew to do and so have you. What more can you do?" I think that's about it. Now my kids tell me about things I did that were meaningful to them and I think, "I did that??"
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