Baby, It's Cold Outside

I deleted the picture and the post I have been working on for awhile now.  It all sounded like something better written in the paper/pen journal and not here.  That's the problem with this blogging thing.  We over share and make the readers a bit uncomfortable.  I was oversharing.

I decided, when I prepared the chili last week, to add one can of rinsed kidney beans to the chili.  I think I divided it into 6 (2 cup) servings for suppers and work lunches.  The first time I made it I didn't add the beans.  I also prepared a pot of Escarole and Tomato soup and didn't add the can of cannellini beans to the soup.  I tried eating it without any additions.  Added strips of precooked chicken.  Then, last night, rinsed a can of beans and added half a cup.

I'm breaking the Atkins Rules.  But I'm not sure beans and lentils are the diet breakers that cereal, bread and pasta would be.  I could be very wrong.  And soup, the way I make it, is very low calorie.  Fat free. So I have been adding sour cream or cheese to the chili.  Anyway, that's what I am doing.  It's cold and I need to eat food that warms me.

My visit to the dressing room of a women's clothing store has made me VERY sad and discouraged.  Seeing the body I thought was changing to a smaller size, in the mirrors, set me straight.  I don't look any different.  My saddlebags are still big and lumpy.  My knees are fat.  I still have my two Buddha bellies. Yes, I am wearing the smaller sizes of the clothes in my storage bin.  But they are still large sized clothes by ordinary standards.  Fourteen is considered Plus Size.  And I am solidly a Pear Shaped Woman.

The Potluck breads are at the potluck.  The shirts have been ironed.  Today's major jobs are packaging my son's Christmas box and putting lights on Fatso.  Oh, and walking the dog and going to the grocery store.

I watched Survivor last night.  Moments after Ozzy was voted off, I changed the channel.  At that point I didn't give a crap who won--the three "survivors" were all unworthy.  I was finished with it.  I wished there had been a way for the jury to just not vote for any of them.  Just refuse.  It's what I would have done. I discovered, this morning, that Coach did not win.  That's a good thing.

That's really the only good thing I have for you this morning.  I am not feeling the Christmas Spirit.  If I didn't already have the tree here in the house, I think I would skip it this year, along with the handmade cards etc.  We have received three cards.  I send one out (store bought) when I get a card. I don't feel depressed or sad.  I just don't feel interested.  I wish all my customers a happy holiday and smile.

I realized this morning, that it's been a long, long time since I actually laughed out loud.  I miss laughing. I think I have mentioned that before.  Realizing that, made me cry.  What a way to start the day, huh?