Thursday, September 19, 2013

Do We Actually Know Each Other?


We might, if I didn't have a delete button.

I choose what to tell you, show you etc.  The rest (bad stuff usually), I type it all into these posts and then hit delete.  My son, the computer genius, will tell me that it all still exists and a hacker could be reading it all as I type and delete.  Nothing is really deleted.

I choose to believe it's gone.  I sleep better that way.

My life can get messy.  I can do bad things.  Wish I had kept my mouth shut as my bad things are usually verbal but sometimes, written.  Which is worse?  I am opinionated. And, as are most opinonated people, I am stubborn.  I keep repeating myself, getting louder, hoping to convince others that I am right.  Hey, sounds like a Tea Bagger.  Which I'm not. See? I did it again.

Anyway, my birthday is my New Year.  I try to make changes to be "a better person".  Always a learning process no matter how old I get.  The "Smile" project.

I was reading, this morning on Goop, that none of you is actually my friend, as none of you could actually show up at 3 am if I needed you (flat tire, emergency room etc).  And none of you actually know me because I use the delete button and pick and choose the parts of my life to publish.  That made me sad, because without you, Readers, I have only three people that could arrive at 3 am.  I have G, our daughter and Patty.  It was a great birthday dinner because I had G, our daughter and Patty at the table last night.  Later, I talked to our son long distance.  Which made the day perfect.

Is the list of people I can call at 3 am due to my lack of friendship skills?  Do I hold myself too much at arms length from people?  Do I want solitude so much that this is the price I pay for it?  G says there is always AAA.

4 comments:

Susan S said...

I think there are many of us....you call me in Port Townsend and I'll call you in Maine. As long as it is a listening problem, we've got it solved.

A driving to get you problem would take a few days.

Joanne S said...

Thank you Susan. For some reason I can't send you an email reply. So I hope you see this. Joanne

Annie said...

I think you'll find many people don't have anyone they can call at 3am. In today's hectic society friendships are not nurtured the way they really need to be. People are busy with jobs and family and their own recreation to be a true good friend. Their are acquaintances, but not really the same as a true friend.

I also think, Joanne, that if anyone is really paying attention to what you do post we know you better than you think we do. Would love to read some of your deletes. Now that would be fun. ...: )

quiltcontemplation blogspot said...

this made me sad. I feel the same way. I was actually stuck in the city one day ( my train was cancelled) and no one would come and get me. made me think. I eventually made it to my daughter's. But it would have been really nice to be rescued. Is that the Cinderella myth still in play?
I too feel challenged in the friendship department.