I had so many "pithy" comments to make yesterday and they just flew out of my head as soon as I sat before the keys. I wanted to say something (as you all did) about WHERE you spend your days and how that influences how old you feel. Did I manage to convey any of that?
I spend my days with young people and their position on "life" colors mine. I reflect on the choices I have made throughout my life. Some were excellent in hindsight and others--- well, to say they were bone headed would be a compliment. I have ALWAYS wanted to get a "re do" of my life. A second chance to fix all the mistakes and take the "other" path. One small different choice and the whole of one's life swings into a different realm. My most important "different choice" would be to concentrate on getting a good education.
I had no mentor in my teen years. No adult who cared enough about a confused and depressed child to take time to lead the way. A good education. A career path. Financial security on my own would have meant the world to me. I would have been FREE to march to my own drummer. Instead, I floundered, gave in to depression and failed in school. I just couldn't see that there was any rainbow ahead for me. Thank goodness for my husband. He gave me a life I never would have imagined. Secure, happy and well traveled. But I still wonder where I might have gone on my own with a BFA and even an MFA. I certainly had the raw talent. I wonder what it would have been like if my husband AND I both had exciting careers? Equals.
That is my biggest regret. Not being able to take over the "breadwinner" position now and let G have time to do what I did for years and years. The "stay at home" chef, bookkeeper, child care provider, seamstress, laundry attendant, house cleaner, nurse, referee and gardener.
Which reminds me-- it's blistering hot out there and my garden needs watering.
3 comments:
Hey, Joanne, I don't know where you live, but some of the state universities have tuition breaks for older students. My sister-in-law was standing in line to register at Wayne State in Detroit. She was probably the only person in line who read the small print, and she realized that she qualified for lower tuition because of her age. Connie
I have a BFA. It hasn't brought me financial security, but it sure was fun and gave me a vocabulary and some confidence. It's never too late.
I wonder these things about my life too. Even though I'm younger than you, I suspect that some of these bits of regret or curiosity are somewhat universal -- at least about wise, thoughtful, creative, introspective people like ourselves. (Ahem!)
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