Paperwhites

They are fully budded but haven't opened yet so the overpowering fragrance is still a few days away.  There are people who love the scent.  I am not one of them.  I live a fragrance free life, generally, but do like very pale, citrus scents in bath products.  Something I can smell but you can't.  This mass of green, growing stuff is so good to be seeing on cold snowy days.  The only thing better is a visit to a greenhouse, because the greenhouse has that earthy, moist dirt smell.  Miss it.

When G got home from work yesterday, he found me on the couch, sleepy and interested in ordering take out.  I had a Greek Salad and a skimpy cheese wedge with marinara.  I have them put 1/3rd of the cheese on what is a thin 10 inch cheese pizza.  G had cheese ravioli with meatballs and a side salad.  It was all very good.  Then I worked on stuff at the computer and G watched the "Cape" a pilot for a series on television.

The sun is shining, it's 28 degrees, G is walking the dog and then we will be watching Football.  I plan on doing a bit of house straightening in between now and Football.  Taking a shower and getting dressed, also. In other words, I have no ambitious ideas for the day.  G wants to carry the Pilates box upstairs and get the machine set up.  That's a good idea.  He thinks he wants to use it.  Why not. I'm still just getting used to the "idea" of using the machine.  And I still haven't made a decision on Netflix or the iPad.  A real "foot dragger".

Minus 2

I had to get up in the dark this morning to go somewhere.  It was dark and minus 2 outside.  I took a hot shower, dressed, filled my Thermos with coffee, let the dog out/in, added a coat and gloves to the outfit and hit the road.  About 10 minutes into the drive I got to thinking about how long I could safely (warmly) walk if the car broke down.  No hat.  No scarf.  No boots.  Thin gloves.  Stupid.

I don't want to be one of "those people" who wear a light coat in minus 2 degree weather because they get in the car in the garage and are just going to work or the grocery.  Bad things can happen.  You have to be prepared for any bad thing that happens.  Extra clothes (in case yours get wet), warm coat, warm gloves, HAT, windshield washer (an extra bottle), ice scraper, blanket, matches, flashlight and candy bars.  A bottle of water would be great also.  Shovel.  Bag of cat litter.  I should have had a scarf, hat and good warm mittens just in case.  Because I don't have a cell phone.

The picture at the top of the post is out the back door this evening.  After I let Riley out.  See the snowblower paths that G made for the dog?  From the porch to the right, down past the garden and around the back of the garden and back to the house.  When Riley runs in the cut out paths, I can see the very top of his head and his tail.  Can you see our little shed way back on the right?  It's snowing tonight and on Tuesday it's going to RAIN.  I friggin hate it when it rains on top of nice snow.  Making a hard, icy mess. Ruining winter.

I got a bunch of envelopes from the Bureau of Unemployment for my "new" benefit year.  So, I don't get a check for this week.  But when I do get a check (next week) it will be $18 higher than last year.  Woo Hoo.  That 25 cent an hour raise is paying all sorts of dividends.

Did you read about what the new Governor of Maine said yesterday?  The NAACP can kiss his butt.  And before the election he told local fishermen that if he saw President Obama he would tell him to "go to hell". No reason. But our Governor isn't a Tea Bagger.  He's just...... ignorant?  Maine's population is 98% white. We don't have much in the way of ethnic diversity.  A few native Indian tribes and some Somalian refugees.  (I know I spelled that wrong and I plan to look it up after I post)  Still not a viable excuse for the things he is saying.  Gonna make George Bush and Sarah Palin look like Rhodes Scholars. Just my opinion.

Windowsill Gardening

My repotted geraniums have sent forth a blossom of wonderful magenta.  The paperwhites are pushing their roots deep into the gravel and sending full flower spikes up and up and up.  What a lovely change from the deep, cold, white snow outside the window.  When the sun shines, it even seems warm.  To a Mainer.  My deep blue Hyacinths are moving slowly, not quite ready to break into a false Spring.

My Winter Furlough seems to be speeding past much quicker than last year.  I remember being deep into my Wallander books by this time.  Spending hours each day in the latest Swedish murder.  I haven't opened a book in weeks. It's interesting to me how the same day can change so dramatically.  Long endless hours or "gosh, where did the day go".  G just called to ask when he should schedule his two weeks of vacation.  How do you make that decision in January? How do you make do with only 2 weeks?

Riley is asleep or napping.  He loves the new puffy, softness of his dog bed inserts.  G added a new insert to the existing flattened one giving the dog bed cover a very poofy look.  I can tell from the contented sighs coming from the dog bed--that Riley is very comfortable.  We also purchased 3 new marrow bones and Riley had the small one last night.  Hours of heavy bone gnawing.  The two large bones are in the freezer.  Clean and marrow free.  We aim to please.

G and I sampled a new Wood Fired Grill restaurant yesterday afternoon.  And we had a front row seat to the open kitchen and Wood Fire.  I got to watch the "chef" touch everything with his bare hands (no washing in between) even raw meats, marinating vegetables, fresh cheese etc.  Really, where is the Health Department when you need them?  We won't be eating there again.  He did wear a glove when touching chicken.  And, yes, my salad was made by this same guy after he washed his hands.  A beautiful salad.  I also watched as the helper, helped himself from the open containers of pizza toppings.  Eating his way through a slow hour at work. Bare hands, also.  We went because the pizza was supposed to be good.  It wasn't.  And the 10 inch pizza was $10 with only cheese (that's what I ordered) and each topping was $1.59.  I had the salad on top of my pizza.  So, breakfast oatmeal and then pizza and salad.  That was it for the day.  And I think the stomach thing is gone. Perhaps, I didn't have enough germs in my digestive system?

I MUST walk Riley today (no walk yesterday) and I am not looking forward to it.  If I didn't have a dog, I would be getting comfy on the nice soft couch, covered by the nice warm down throw and opening my book.  Settling in for a few good hours of reading.  Then a short nap.  By then, G would be getting home from work.  The discussion of getting a second dog keeps coming up. Just more work for me. Yes, they would play with each other, but they still need care, feeding, and walks.  Which is Me. Me. Me.  So the answer is always; No. No. No.

Stomach Virus????

Day Two.  I'm not sure what is causing me the distress....  I am feeling tired, shivery and cranky.  G and I went out in the car (bone dry clean roads, thank you road plowing crews) to visit the bank, the library, LLBean and then the grocery store.  Fed Ex delivered my Pilates machine (very, very heavy) today.  And we purchased two new, puffy, dog bed inserts for Riley (using our $10 gift cards).  As usual, Riley is not sure he likes the "new" bed but it could be the slow cooking of the beef marrow bones on the stove.  Riley gets the bones when they are clean and marrow free.  Easier to clean the carpets.  Hard for the pup to wait.

The Twelve By Twelve reveal was yesterday.

I'm all caught up on laundry and ironing.  Owe Riley a walk because he didn't get one today.  G got the remainder of the storm snow cleaned off the driveway.  Tomorrow will be sunny.  Quiet weather pattern for the next four days.  I might make lasagna tomorrow.  Read a book.  Drink tea. Stay home.  Watch television.  That's all I have for you.  A slow day.

Friend of Twelve By Twelve- 01-11

Colorplay Challenge: Emerald Green, Burgundy Red and Eggplant.  January 2011.  Winter Into Spring.  12 by 12.  Vintage velvet, silk, hand and machine sewn.

I managed, on this dark, snow covered morning, to get the golds color-correct, but the Colorplay colors, in velvet, are never going to be color correct without professional lighting equipment.  They are too dark and have too much textural shine.  Trust me that I have all three: emerald, burgundy and eggplant purple. This is a sliver of the "slow cloth" I made from velvet scraps.  I cut away the parts that didn't work and then finished the edges of what was left with a patchwork of silk scraps left from the making of the annual Christmas card.  In person, this has a rich almost Medieval quality; the kind of surface that wants to be touched.  My daughter saw it yesterday and the first thing she did was trace her finger over the velvets.

I enjoyed the slow pace that the "slow cloth" style allows.  It's like meditative mending. You can add or subtract fabric as you sew.  No decisions are permanent.  I got to use floss and perle cotton threads. But if I were to do this again (and I think I will) I will not be using velvet. It slip slides away.  No matter how many pins you have along the seams.

Maine is receiving 8 to 14 inches of Champagne Powder today.  The best skiing snow there is on earth.  We have no visibility.  No reason to go outside until it stops snowing.  I have things to do, the dog has been outside and quickly returned, covered in snow, to his warm bed.  The snow began after everyone was already on the road to work (7 am) so the commute back home will be stressful since the Maine Traffic Plows like to plow secondary roads after the snow stops falling.  Not during.  As usual, my street and connecting road will be far down the list, if at all.  But I have more important things to think about. What shall I have for breakfast?

01-11-11

And at some point in the writing of this post it will also be 11.11.  I had no idea we had already reached the 11th day of January.  Time is flying past.  There is a pokey period of time each day, between 10 and 3.30, that is difficult to get past, but once I get past that, Riley and I seem to settle down. And we have our nice, cold walk during that time period which could be why things aren't as easy as I would like.  Riley starts wanting his walk as soon as I finish my cereal.  But I think it's better to have it after he has lunch. As I have mentioned to Riley many, many times: I don't like the walk before we get going, but once we get going (about 20 minutes into the walk) then I am pleased to be walking.  That's just the way I am.

I made a large pot of Split Pea Soup before I even thought about breakfast cereal or coffee.  It's now in the final simmer.  Extra carrots, onions and potatoes since all veggies are Points Free in WW.  Not that I am doing WW.  I just love vegetables.  G and I watched a Hunting Show show last night.  I decided if I had to kill animals for meat, I wouldn't eat meat.  And there's something just a bit creepy about the  handsome-ish host of the show. He kills, expertly butchers and cooks the meat.  He wears very expensive clothing, shoots with a very expensive rifle, lives in New York City but hunts in Alaska. I don't think I will watch it again.

I spend more time typing and deleting these days.  I bore myself with what I write.

I ventured over to the Nancy Crow website to see her new work.  Can you say Comic Book Art?  Not a fan.  Another blogger with good credentials has been chopping her work up, re working it, giving it away at thrift stores.  She is experiencing "tedium".  Terry finds herself in a "rut" over in Sew It Goes.  I am experiencing something that has a good French word to describe it but I can't find the word to type it here.  Sounds like euew. (enuie?) But not the euew when you step in something nasty.  We are all having a similar sensation.  The Universe.  Things float around and touch us all.  I wonder what the cure will be? Cutting finished work into chunks?  Something"new"?  Can't wait.

11.11 passed as I was looking for my French word.

I'm going to strip the bed, wash the rosy pink sheets, get the snowy white sheets out of the linen closet, make the bed, spray the dog beds with Febreze, Windex a few more windows, walk the dog, make a Chinese style mushroom and Rice Noodle soup for G, finish the edges on my 12 by 12 for tomorrow's reveal and search for the rusty black and white bleach discharged fabric to add to the previous 12 by 12 to improve it's looks.  Did I say walk the dog?  Ugh.

Looking At My House From The Outside

I had an early morning visit from the furnace guy (with a contract for a new furnace and water heater) and I intended to direct him to the living room, which is tidy (since I took down the tree and cleared things up) but he wanted a table, so we went into the dining room and I attempted to clear a space for him to set out his papers.  Now, after his visit, I am trying to REALLY clean things up.  We aren't, technically, Hoarders, but we do keep a great deal of crap, with no purpose.  Like the packaging from things we have opened and are using.  I have set a goal of throwing one thing away for every three I pick up.  I wish I could throw bills away.

Riley has spent the morning barking.  There must be a great deal of squirrel activity out in the back yard. I spent a few minutes with my new bottle of Windex and a few sheets of newspaper, cleaning the windows facing the squirrel area.  My arms are certainly out of practice for window cleaning.  I feel like I just ran a marathon.

We went to Target yesterday afternoon and shopped in the "Stock Up!" area.  Paper towels, Windex, Dawn, and Cascade tublets for the dishwasher.  They had 56 quart Sterlite containers on sale for $4.50 so I got four more.  They are waiting in the workroom for me to fill them and then carry them upstairs. I need to move the bags I have in the foyer to a less conspicuous spot.  Those are for the Linus Project. I also bought new underpants.  Again.  I packed up the ones I bought last time.  Am I the only person who buys defective underpants?  Too wide, too small, too long, too big.  All in the same package of 6 pairs. The new packages are all the same: too big.  And I am fine with that.  The washer and dryer will sort it all out. And I may just not be meant to wear the next smaller size--ever.  We have to face these facts.  I could go shopping at Jockey and buy one pair for what 6 cost me at Target.  Someday.

I just deleted a paragraph on not wanting to cook dinner.  I'm not interested in eating any of the things I have ingredients to make.  And I don't want to go to the grocery.  I'm just in a very ornery mood. I think I'll go kick something.

Journal Page

I was watching some Food TV and drawing a bit in my journal.  Just to have something to color.  I was feeling the "coloring book" vibe this morning.  Nothing serious.  I bordered the page with a bit of commercial fabric for the "photo shoot".  We have sunshine, light new snow on top of the old dirty snow, a bit of a breeze.  Nothing like the cold and ice down south.  Maine has, again, not gotten the bad weather. I'm not complaining.  I'm just wondering what's up with that?

Today is filing day for unemployment.  I timed it wrong again and have missed out on two full weeks of benefits. Filing days are a moving target, I guess.  I have my Employment Work Diary pinned to the bulletin board next to the computer.  Our local paper has, tops, 6 employment ads running.  Nurse, truck driver, overnight sleep person for mental health homes, phone book delivery etc.  Things I am not qualified to do.  Phone book delivery because I refuse to drive to strange places in winter.  Well, I basically refuse to drive in winter. Period.  I wish I lived somewhere with a call center that hires people to work from home.  In pajamas.  But I hear that people hate that job.

G has taken Riley out for the woods walk.  I have been doing 3 plus miles with Riley every day, on his leash.  It's a good walk.  I walk fast, with a long stride and Riley still has plenty of time to sniff and dig in the snow.  He circles back around for a treat every once in awhile and has to sit politely while I dig one out of my pocket with double gloves on.  We may not have bad storm weather, but it's cold up here in Maine. I have rotated to the heavy scarf and thick wool hat.  With a down filled liner under my winter jacket.  I stay nice and warm for the start of the walk and can remove things as I heat up from the exercise.  Now if I could just stop eating so much.  Mostly fruit and vegetables, but still, it's eating.

G was eating hard cookies last night and his temporary crown fell off.  Really?  Hard cookies?

Today I have two loads of laundry and about a dozen of G's shirts to starch and iron.  And I have a few things to work on moving upstairs to the new work area (I found an empty Sterlite container).  Once I have enough clear space downstairs, I will work on projects downstairs before moving everything upstairs in the Spring (when my plants can come downstairs and get ready to go outside again).  It's so much easier to work with wide open floor space and clean table tops.  I'm getting closer to that every time I go in there.  I even vacuumed in there.  Less is enough.

I think I am done being cranky for awhile.  I have a little page tacked to the bulletin board which reads "This Has Nothing To Do With Me"  My new motto.  Especially for blog comments.

When Is It Art?

Terry has had some interesting comments over at Sew It Goes. The focus has been on art education, drawing as the backbone of any good art and the comment of "slapping a few pieces of fabric down, adding a bit of handstitching and a few beads " and calling that fiber art. A comment by an unknown person but it could have been me.

I have to say this came pretty darn close to calling me names.  I do tend to put a few (well chosen) pieces of fabric down (but hardly slapping them), and stitch a bit (hand but usually machine) and I DID use a BEAD on the last Friend of Twelve By Twelve piece.  I DID remove it (step away from the bead tin).  Really, I did!  The sad fact here, is that I do have an art education.  I can draw very nicely.  I understand the elements of design.  But I still feel like my style of making fiber art is being attacked.  I wonder if the work would seem more artistic if I gave it a Name and suggested (rather firmly) what my intentions were in making it look like it does?  I worry about the piece in progress right now.  Very abstract.  In fact, I chopped it up and reconstructed it yesterday and like it quite a bit more than I had before it was cropped and chopped.  But still, it may not be understood or appreciated. It may not be art.

Terry used some examples from Picasso and De Kooning in her post.  I remember an early figure drawing class where we were required to draw in the "style of" both of these artists (and many others) in order to stop drawing realistically.  Our figures were supposed to morph into shapes and not be strictly anatomically or proportionally correct.  We were asked to turn realistic into abstract.  The bodies we sketched didn't look like bodies, but rather an assortment of shapes and shadows arranged on a full sheet of paper.  Extra credit for working off the edges of the paper.  It was very difficult and we had to really LOOK at the model.  We had to really SEE.  We had to create expressive line and volume.  I remember leaving drawing classes completely exhausted.  And then, in Art 101, we had to draw our supplies as exact as a photograph.  Same size, likeness of our paint tubes and ink bottles, in black, white and 8 shades of gray.  And after that, I had a painting class where abstract was very good with lots of color.  And then a Lettering class (which I failed, twice) and Printmaking (Intaglio) of which I was the "super star" in black and white.  For each class, another style.  And now, we are supposed to have our "own" style.

I have a difficult time with style.  My artistic vision is somewhat like my real vision (eyesight).  I am constantly trying to get things to focus. Even things I don't like, need or want in my work. Or life. I can appreciate it all.  I can imitate it all. I can make a good copy of anything I see.  My difficulty is in doing something that is mine alone. Original.  I make something and think "have I seen this somewhere, before?"  I wonder what I would be making if I had not been influenced and trained to do so many other things?

Kodachrome & Slides. Dinosaurs

G was up in the attic digging his large fish tank out "from under" so we could give it away, and he found a box of slides from our first few years of marriage.  Lordy, my hair was a mess!!!  I must have been too busy to comb it in the morning.  And now the slides are "no more" and my Nikon will no longer be taking Kodachrome film pictures.  I loved using that old black body camera (which was already old in the 1960's when we got it).  We never could afford a slide projector (we were always so poor in the early days), so I have never seen most of these slides as they should be viewed.  We hold them up to bare lightbulbs.

There are a few slides that make me think that I was (possibly) a good mother.  One with a very young Sam being kissed into giggles and another two of her with her very large blackboard in her bedroom, drawing all over the surface (huge drawings) and her baby brother (just learning to stand up) trying to get into the chalkboard action.  She's giving him the "schoolteacher" hand.  Stand back or else.  He's laughing.  Nothing has changed in 38 years.

The "moment" of Oh, I did good things, came when I saw the huge blackboard, at her two year old height level and saw how well used it was. I had forgotten the blackboard. I know I purchased wooden toys, but could never afford the wooden play kitchen.  But they had wooden blocks, farm animal toys and a Fischer Price barn, a little table and chairs. Toys with multiple uses. Open to different uses. I read the new "Mommy Blogs" now and I wonder if I would measure up.  In this pile of old Dinosaur slides, I find evidence that I did measure up, I did give them a creative and wholesome start in life.  Perhaps that is why they are so healthy, happy and intelligent now? I can hope it had some, little something, to do with me.  I was a creative wholesome Mommy.  Wow.

In other news:  After three hours of trying to replace items that were no longer working on the furnace (no longer made, have to refigure the set up to use new things, get more parts), we have heat.  The repair guy, K, is a real trooper and he gave us a tutorial on how the oil fired boilers work.  This morning, I am fielding calls from the sales guy as he tries to figure out a way to give us heat and hot water with a new system.  The short height clearance of the crawl space we have (instead of a basement that floods) is causing difficulty for him.  The boiler I want is too tall.  The hot water tank we need is too tall.  But we have heat.  The house is warming up.  I have on one set of clothing and not two.

I took the opportunity of having no heat, to take my beloved Christmas Tree down.  I REALLY enjoyed looking at all it's bright sparkle each day (late afternoon into evening).  I was very sad to see it go.  The huge heap of dry needles it left behind, even though it was drinking 2 liters of water a day, has been put into the compost pile.  I sat on the couch yesterday afternoon, missing my twinkly tree.  It's so sad to face winter without it.

My lunch date for today cancelled due to illness, so I will eventually get dressed and walk Riley, but not yet.  Riley had a wonderful off leash walk with G yesterday in the woods.  Ran around with two goldens, also three years old.  They "played well together". Someday, we will have a dog park in Brunswick and I can take Riley there to play, off leash, with other dogs.  They can run around like crazy and have tons of fun.  Someday soon , I hope.

I think I will have a second cup of coffee.  And the rest of my toasted baguette.  The day, stretching out in front of me, is mine to do with as I please.

Baby, It's Cold Outside (and Inside)

Last night, around 11 pm the oil boiler started cycling on and off in a very rapid and not very healthy way. So, being a security minded person, I switched the power off to the boiler and went to bed.  Now, in the cold morning light, with the house temperature at around 50 degrees, I am sitting here in many layers waiting for the repair people to show up.  It could be anytime TODAY.  I do not want to flip the switch back on "to see what happens" and possibly get some heat.

G is home from work today.  He and Riley are snuggled next to the cold radiator under a down blanket. I worry more about the dog.  He was cold all night and now will be cold all day.  G and I can layer up but the dog can't.

G has already called  and ordered coffee beans from Wicked Joe and I have suggested G take Riley for a ride in the warmer car to get fresh bagels from Mr Bagel.  I wouldn't mind a nice raisin bagel.  And we don't seem to have any bagels in the freezer.

At this moment in time, I am warm.  If I keep moving, I will be fine.  But, honestly, it's just going to keep getting colder in here as the day goes along, unless the sun starts shining and then the southern rooms will warm up.  Good day to take the Christmas Tree down.

First Wednesday Post of 2011

I love Wednesdays.  I was born on a Wednesday and finally looked to see the time.  4.50 pm.  Not 11.11. The subject of today's photo is the interesting African Violet I purchased on my last day at work.  It has a pinked edge and three colors.  Best of all, it is still alive.  I think it has survived because I have it on the table, directly under my nose, and notice if it needs watering.  And it is getting warmth and sunshine here in the dining room.  I still haven't made it upstairs to water my other plants.

I was reading magazines and catalogs last night (TiVo-ing television shows to watch when G isn't sleeping- as he was) and happened upon QVC and the Pilates machine.  Last hour at the "special" price and all that. Long story short--the machine will be here in 8 to 10 days and I have 30 days in which to decide if I like it. I had wanted it a long while ago but didn't have the money.  Now I do.  And I am very interested in having a Pilates Body.

There was a bit of drama included in the purchase.  When I opened my purse to get my credit card holder (at 10.30) --it wasn't there.  With pounding heart I dumped the entire contents on the kitchen counter.  No. Then I tried to think when I had last used it.  Before Christmas.  Oh!! No!!!!  I was really starting to panic when I thought to look in my work bag.  I sometimes take the card case to work since I need to drive with my driver's license.  And there it was.  Deep breaths.  And I picked up the phone and returned to the couch and made my purchase.  The guy taking my order asked which credit card I would be using and I replied "Mine."  He wasn't amused.  I was confused.  Then he said which of these and listed 8 to 10 brands of cards.  Oh.

I got the bathroom floors swept and mopped yesterday and the mirrors, counters etc washed in my bathroom.  And I vacuumed the carpets though I don't think the vacuum picked up anything as the little canister was empty.  G washed the filter and must not have put the vacuum together correctly when he put the filter back inside.  I'll go over the floor with the central vac after I have coffee with my walking buddy this morning.  We aren't walking.  It's 21 degrees and N isn't all that interested in being cold.  I'll walk Riley after I get back home.  He is trying to understand why he is staying home.

The days are starting to go by more quickly now.  I have two books to read and a winter vegetable gardening book to study.  I think it may be time to start my Artichoke seeds.  They need 230 days to mature.  That's my gardening experiment for 2011.  I will be attempting Fennel this year, also.  But the Fennel is not quite as much trouble as the Artichoke will be-- I need to "fool" it into thinking it's been growing for 2 years.  So warm, really cold, then warm again.  That means it needs to be big enough to go outdoors while we still have winter weather.  Timing.  

Time to go have coffee with N.

One Day, One Step, One Project (or more)

I was very busy yesterday. Busy and productive.  The floors in the major living spaces were vacuumed and mopped.  The lamp shades were dusted (and the light bulbs) as were all the baseboards and framed art. I bundled up and walked the Dog.  There was no book reading or art making.

This morning I began the day by working on the geraniums.  Cleaning them up and repotting where needed. I also gave the pots a nice big handful of earthworm casings to fertilize them.  I had to pull down the window blinds on the bay because too much sun right now would do more harm than good.  I also added water to the paperwhites I never added water to and brought the hyacinths inside to start growing. Spring is only three months away. By the way, my little orange tree, (remember I adopted it when it had only three leaves last February?) well, it is getting ready to bloom.  Lots of orange blossoms.  I will add watering the plants upstairs to my list of projects for today.

Today's jobs include vacuuming the bedroom wing of the house which includes two full baths. So I will be pretty busy with all that bathroom cleaning.  I do want to pull out the rug shampooer and do a bit of heavy cleaning of the carpets.  These are all jobs I have neglected while working  "outside the home". I usually shampooed the carpets on a regular schedule.

And Riley will get his 3 mile walk.

Not everything will get done, but I like having a full menu of possibilities to choose from.  That way I can stop one thing when it starts to frustrate me and move onto something else, easier.  And then come back, to tackle the harder job once again.  And vacuuming hurts my back.  And the central vac hose reminds me too much of the greenhouse hoses, always getting caught on stuff and kinking, etc.  But, my feet stay dry here at home with the vacuum.

I still haven't come up with "something" for the "make your dreams come true" e-class I am getting everyday.  Could it be possible that I have no dreams?  On the Joy Behar show Joy said that your true "dream" is whatever you wanted when you were 10 years old.  I wanted dolls, a doll crib and new "real" china dishes.  It would seem that my "dream" was to be a mother and housewife.  I wanted a "home". Later, in my 40's I had my natal horoscope done and asked what I was supposed to have "done" in my life.  The horoscope person looked at the chart and thought and finally said, "be a mother and not much else."  She went further and said "you have a free pass in this life so just enjoy yourself, and oh, if you ever do something, like quilting, you won't follow any of the rules and never use a pattern". Isn't that something?  A Palm Reader said I "would always have enough, but not more".   Whenever I am reminded of the palm reader, I think I should read Oliver Twist.

Blank Slate

So far.  The new desktop calendar is relatively blank.  Most of the new entries are over to the right (Friday and some Saturday classes at the greenhouse) and over to the farthest left are notes from my unemployment filing.  So many pin numbers.  Above is the nice stack of tea bag papers and my best pair of scissors.  The papers are ready to be ironed flat and then added to fabric collage.  I used a container of teabags I was never going to make and drink.  I wasn't sure how old they were and I knew they weren't decaf.  I really like the smooth, clean, unwritten surface of my new calendar.  Last year's was 25 cents @ Target.  This one was $5 @ Staples.  Smooth.

G and I walked Riley in the woods yesterday.  The snow in the woods is getting rutted and icy and it is getting more difficult to walk through.  Today Riley and I will go out on the sidewalks together.  Riley is beginning to manifest another nervous "tic".  He is hesitant to approach his food bowl and we have to coax him into eating.  Once he begins eating he has a good appetite.  Still won't sleep on the dog bed nearest to the television but will stand near the television.  He may need Prozac.

If you read this early today--it was all different.  I decided to do a "PROJECT" day just like I would be doing at work.  Cleaning.  I started with the floors.  They have been vacuumed and will be hand washed as soon as I finish scrubbing down ever nook and cranny of the kitchen cabinets.  A friend had a cleaning service that used Q-tips to get into every groove.  I'm off to get a pocket full.  The curtains that attempt to retain heat in the most occupied living spaces, are going into the washer for a much needed cleaning.  I have used the wool duster on the lamp shades, ceiling fan and the base boards.  All the dog blankets are washed and dried and I plan to spray the dog beds with Febreze before Riley and I go for a walk.  The sun is shining and the rooms on the south facing side of the house are bright and warm. I am tempted to open a window.

I just wanted to stop for a moment and re-blog because what I wrote before isn't going to happen--so it seemed wrong to have it up.  I did have a shower.  The happiest moments of any of my days are those spent in the shower with hot water running over my head and down to my cold toes.  If the water would stay hot longer, I would remain there for as long as possible.  It is such a delight.

Back to work.

Proceed With Maximum Caution

In the fastest turn around (whip lash fast) in my emotional life, I have started to PANIC about that off the cuff remark regarding living in Europe.  My unconscious self reverted to something I hadn't dreamed about in years and years.  A pretend job I made up to help me fall asleep.  When things in my life were too much for me (anxiety, stress, emotional upheaval, money problems) I would go to sleep and "go to work" at this fantasy job.

You are imagining some New York luxury job aren't you?  Nope.  It was a factory type job where I sorted things and put them in their proper containers.  How Freudian.  I was back there last night. Like I had never left. And I woke up confused.  Wondering if that had been a real job I once had.  It seemed so real and familiar.  So.  Let's take the "living in Europe" thing off the table.  I obviously can't handle it.

Woo.  You didn't know, after 5 years of blogging, that we might be riding the Crazy Train into the new year?  I didn't know, either.

We'll just try and concentrate on things I feel comfortable doing.  Simple things.  Like making waffles for breakfast (the yeast ones), walking the dog in the woods (I marked the paths we took with surveyor's tape so I can find my way home in case I get lost --no sense of direction), posting my little cautionary snow woman, and filing for unemployment.  There's laundry to do, ironing, my 12 by 12 piece and if I feel adventurous I can drive to the local Joann's for sewing machine needles (I found my coupon).

I'm going to stay on the marked path.  In some ways this scare has been a good lesson.  There are things we might want to try that are definitely NOT something we should focus on.  And the recommendation of baby steps?  Really good advice.  I should have started with something small like getting a passport or watching foreign films.

Instead I will focus on "one step at a time" with my diet, my organization of the quilting supplies, my gardens and my work.  Sounds like AA.  Change what I can and accept what I can't change.  Not a word but a concept.  Nothing too scary.  And it might just keep me away from the "factory".

Happy New Year

I spent New Year's Eve cleaning the kitchen, watching the House Hunter's International marathon, preparing the black eyed peas, taking a shower and watching Pride & Prejudice yet again.  Riley went outside three times during the evening and we went to bed at 12.30.  I wished Riley a Happy New Year and told him he was going to be 4 this year.

Even with good intentions I managed to eat three cookies, four clementines, one See's caramel and a bag of microwave popcorn during the afternoon and evening. Fa La La.  I skipped dinner.

This morning I closed the bathroom door on the tips of my fingers.  The magazine photo above is from a Martha Stewart publication and it's what I should have made for the 12 by 12 challenge.  But it's NOT what I made.  What I made is my impression of Jude Hill's Slow Cloth or woven cloth.

I started with a small pile of velvet scraps from this huge bag of velvet someone gave me at an annual quilt chapter UFO auction years and years ago. I tugged at the packed in velvet in the bag and came up with emerald green, burgundy red and my last handful was a very small piece of a deep purple which I will say is eggplant. I tore the velvet scraps into strip-like shapes and started attaching the strips to a base of batting.  A scrap, also.  I remembered that Jude isn't this improvisational.  Jude tries out fabric quite a bit before sewing anything together.  This might be something I want to work on in the New Year.  Have a plan first might be the way to go from now on. 

I also added some very nice silver gray silk.  Because all these dark colors just turn into so much muck when placed together.  This Colorplay isn't my favorite challenge.  Can you tell?  And, because I was channeling Jude during all this work, I am hand stitching everything.  Using brighter shades of the three colors plus some sliver thread I found yesterday but haven't sewn with yet.  I keep telling myself that I am only making a background.  I will think of something interesting (oh, please) to go on top.  It doesn't look promising.  By the light of the New Year, the work looks even less promising.  I even glanced at some Jackson Pollack hoping to see something I could work with.

I found an unsliced (no spiral) ham at the grocery yesterday and plan to make White Trash Ham with Nigella Lawson's cookbook and a 2 liter bottle of Classic Coke.  Gives the ham a BBQ taste which is very nice.  We'll be having au gratin potatoes and Brussels Sprouts.  There's one last slice of the Pumpkin Cheesecake for G and I will have clementines.  Sounds like a good start to the new year's meals.  The ham has finished it's 2 hours of poaching and is dark, sweet and salty.  G has been called into work because four of his employees had "too much party" last night.  He is unhappy and Riley is devastated.  No walk in the snowy woods, off leash, with his favorite person.

I haven't made any resolutions for the year, haven't chosen a "word" for the year but I am pretty excited to be in the "vanguard" of Baby Boomers turning 65 this year, signing up for Medicare etc.  I always like to be first in line (a Baby Boomer trait).  There are 19 years of other Boomers right behind us.  By the time the rest of them finish signing up, I'll be nearly 85 and have gotten my fill of Medicare and Social Security.  I hope.  I have noticed "words" for the year on posts today.  They seem to work for people. The only words I would choose are "clean"  "simplify"  "relinquish"  "reorganize". All of which have much to do with "letting go".

While watching House Hunter's International, I thought it would be fun to move to Europe (anywhere) and live there for a few years after we actually retire (who knows when that will be).  I am getting an email course in making decisions and the first was to "state your dream" and then make baby steps towards that dream.  This makes sense.  If you know where you want to go, it's easy to see what steps and actions have no place in your plan.  And those unnecessary things fall away.  Making life simpler. If we do plan to move to Europe in a few years, then I need to get rid of things.  And the remodeling of this house is more about resale and less about what I might want.  Because, dear readers, if I go to Europe I am not taking anything with me but a suitcase.

Starting Over Again

This is the eighth day of my winter unemployment and the "pajama vacation" has to end.  Because a "pajama vacation" soon morphs into Depression and I have been there, done that, and don't want to repeat that experience.  Again.  Onward.  I am dressed. Two loads of laundry done. Recycling taken to the cans in the garage.  Riley in and out several times.  Sun shining.  Blue skies.

Linda had an excellent suggestion about donating my unwanted fabric to the local Project Linus group. I emailed the chapter in my county and I just received a lovely reply.  And they pick up.  So, as soon as I have all the fabric ready to go, they will come by and get it.  And either sell it or use it for Project Linus.  I had forgotten that these good projects don't always need everyone to sew.  There have to be people who give the group materials also.

When I was part of a quilt chapter, it was always my "job" to trim and sew the donated blocks into a top.  Strange, huh?  A person who doesn't like to piece volunteering to stitch the blocks together.  I even made sashing and corner blocks.  I always was thinking good thoughts while sewing the blocks together.  Adding as much positive energy as possible to the chemo lap quilts etc.  I had forgotten that.  So, Linda, thank you for the Project Linus hint and for the memory of making quilts so many years ago.

I poached chicken yesterday and made a Chicken Carbonara for G last night.  The dentist had done a bit of work on his tooth and he is there right now having a second appointment.  G will need a crown eventually.  I think the poaching liquid combined with noodles and shredded chicken will make a nice comforting soup for G tonight.  He is so tired this week.  Chicken Soup is good for fatigue I think. I am going to have bean and rice burritos or eggplant parmesan.  I have everything necessary to make both dishes in the fridge.  Leftovers.

I may even drive the car to the grocery in an hour or so.  Get out of the house for the first time in a week. See if the local grocery has a ham for sale that is NOT spiral sliced.  And I need the stuff to make Hopping John so we have good luck in the new year.

I am enjoying the TiVoed episodes of Mad Hungry that I am recording.  Two each day.  Still have no idea why the show and book have that stupid title.  It doesn't really mean anything.  Crazy Hungry? I know it is supposed to imply that the men in her family are always really hungry but Mad Hungry?  Is that something kids say these days?

Sunday I get to apply for unemployment benefits.  Woo Hoo.  And the adventure of the employment diary begins again.  A state employee gave me some tips.  Always state on the application that I can't work evenings or weekends.  I have to make sure I don't have to "swear" on the unemployment benefits statements that I am available to work evenings and weekends.  I don't want to tell lies.  Don't fill out the application completely. G always has people apply and they don't write down their phone number  or they write down the wrong number so he can't call them.  Apply for jobs you have no experience doing.  Like paralegal and nurse?  I try to visit one or two places each week.  Usually places where I am shopping or visiting during my trips to town.  I don't like online applications.  I was going to apply with HR Block but they might discover how many times my returns have been audited.  Whoopsie.

Time to start doing something productive around the house.  Here's a picture of Riley I snapped up off my daughter's blog.

She's going to wonder how I did that.

Fabric Containers On Route

To the upstairs "studio/greenhouse".  Dog toys are also moving upstairs with each trip.  I took this moving experience as a chance to look inside the boxes.  Horrors!!!!  I mean really, what the hell was I thinking when I bought, stored, sorted and kitted up some of these things????  I was speechless on more that a few occasions.  Questioning my (I thought) good taste.

I know, from experience, that our taste in "stuff" changes on a seven year cycle.  Our favorite colors can sometimes change also.  I have always loved polka dots so was not surprised to find an abundance of dotted fabrics.  But I was not aware (or had forgotten) my interest in theme fabrics.  I have flowered fabric, cowboy fabric, depression era fabric, vegetable fabric, chicken fabric and DUCK fabric.  I can only conclude that these "interests" were fueled by a group enthusiasm at chapter meeting and quiltathons.  Things I no longer participate in.  I also seemed to enjoy buying felted wool.  Was I actually going to make one of those antique circle things?  Maybe?  Looks like I stored my way through two or three seven year cycles.

The non theme fabrics can all be used in the work I now do--rather abstract, but there isn't any use in keeping the themed fabric.  No grandchildren and I do not enjoy piecing so I won't be making 25 novelty children's quilts for the local Police & Fire Departments.  My friend K has three grandchildren and has had to stop making children's quilts because they don't really like them.  And they have a stack in the closet incase they change their minds.  So, I can't send the stuff to her.  She has one more baby quilt to make so I could ask if she wants fabric for that.  Ducks?

In other news: G came home last night and showed me the half a tooth piece of his molar that fell off during his lunch at work.  A nice clean break at the gumline and across the middle.  He had an emergency dental appointment at 7 this morning.  My unprofessional opinion is that he will either be getting root canal and a crown or he will be having an extraction.  50/50. This is what happens when you cancel three regular dental checkups in a row.  Bad Things.

Since he couldn't chew food without tearing up the side of his tongue on the rough edges of the break, I had to do some fancy thinking to make him something good and easy to eat. Pronto!!! I made soup.  A quickly thrown together broth of onion, garlic, chicken cubes and 2 slices of fresh ginger along with peppercorns and soy sauce.   I then found the remainder of the ingredients used in the potstitckers : baby bok choy and shitake mushrooms.  And after climbing to the top of the kitchen ladder and into the cupboard, I found some saved packets of rice noodle sticks.  I strained the stock, added the greens, noodles and mushrooms.  G liked it.  It was soothing, soft and just right.  G then went to sleep on the couch.  He hasn't been having the best month.  Thank Goodness it's almost over.

I have bills to sort out, phone calls to make regarding the purchase of a new furnace or repair of the old one.  I am continuing a dialogue with a guy interested in a fabric art piece based on a photo he took (and Photoshopped).  I have learned the hard way that commission work is nearly impossible to do successfully, especially when you have to educated the customer.  He had wanted a pieced bed quilt based on the photo.  Imagine years of work.  Not this girl.

Joanne's Dilemma

Spelled wrong in the diagram but you get the idea.  I am in the process of moving my fabric from Space A to Space B.  Simple enough.  Only there are bits and pieces of Space B's previous occupant (G's office) still all around Space B plus all my green foliage plants are up there. Taking up room I want to fill with Space A stuff.  Now I have come to the time and place in this project when I have to start moving the unwanted items in Space B to a still unnamed Space C (I think it is safe to assume this will be either G's new office or the attic).  Which isn't empty.  The dumpster is beginning to look like a Golden Idea.

Whenever I get the stuff I really and truly want from Space A moved to Space B, there will be bits and pieces that remain in Space A.  I can see why Hoarders can never clean up their households.  They have no Space B.  Nowhere to move anything.

I will be taking a garbage bag or two upstairs (Space B) in the next hour or so.  I will also remove the jumble of things that G has stuffed into the fabric closet (over to the side; in the dark depths of the closet): empty hangers, framed art, clocks that don't work, an accordion, clothes no one wears etc.  Those items will either go into the garbage bags or into the attic storage which is a Deep Well of Life's Mementos.  Some of it still in sealed boxes from 1988.  I will need to put on winter gear to work in the attic.  I am truly my father's daughter.  Remember the 3 cubic yards of clutter I cleared out of his house in three days?  Three cubic yards is a lot.  A big dumpster.  And it was full.  Plus three truckloads to Goodwill and another to the Food Pantry.

I worked on this moving project exactly one hour yesterday.  I took a break (big mistake) and never returned to the project.  Today, I have to make more of an effort and perhaps even get dressed in something besides pajamas.  Even wear shoes.  Be professional.

It took me so long to wake up today ( I lay in bed wondering how many days I had been away from work) (5) and get going that I had lunch for breakfast.  Leftover rice, avocado and cheese on a Smart Tortilla.  Squeeze of lime and some raw onion.  Now I am ready to face the day.  Sort of.  Not really.

I think I need a motivational pep talk.  But the only sound I hear (in my head) is "I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna". Maybe I should call work and ask my boss to say "Hey, Joanie I have a project for you --go clean out the attic -- make it sparkle".

One Thousand Posts -Woo Hoo

I liked the look of these peony frames out in the garden.  They have more snow on them this morning but they are still looking just like this.  It resembles the line drawings of November, huh?  Delicate but strong lines against the white (which I have iPhotoed to a buff color).

One Thousand Posts.  When I began this challenge (to make 1000 by the end of 2010) I was not sure I could actually do it.  Writing nearly every day was hard at the beginning.  I was so used to waiting for a "good topic" before posting.  I had to start "just writing" and then write, delete, write, delete etc until I had something that wasn't too, too boring to post.  It was an excellent writing exercise.  When I reread my posts I am in wonder at some of the (few) really good sentences I created.

In the coming year I will attempt to answer comments in the comment section instead of sending emails. That way there will be a continuing "conversation" of sorts, between the readers and myself.  Another layer of something to read.  We'll see if it works.  Several of the commenters are "no reply" and I would like to continue (or begin) a conversation with them also.  I can always do both if readers prefer since I don't always reread a post to check on the comments.  We'll see?

I opened the door for Riley this morning and he went straight out, and turned around and came straight back.  I sternly told him he had to go out and pee.  So, out he went and ran around a bit to find the perfect spot, did his business and ran as fast as he could back to the door.  I don't think I have to worry about a "walk".  Our street is plowed.  Which means a huge pile at the end of the driveway.  The heat is on.  The lights are on.  I plan to start moving fabric from the first floor to the second today. Riley will be helping me by running ahead of me, up and down, the stairs.  I intend to go slowly, one color stack at a time, getting my own exercise (I have eaten too much in December because the walking pants are no longer "wedgie free").

All the laundry and shirt ironing got done yesterday afternoon.  Then I watched Pride & Prejudice a second time along with Nigella's 30 minute cooking program.  I finished with a cup of tea, two cookies and House Hunter's International with a family relocating to Krakow Poland.  They never did get to buy a house.  Six months later and still no mortgage approval.  And a new baby on the way.  I was hoping for one of those little updates printed at the end to say how things worked out.  But, no.

This year is coming to an end and I worked more hours at work (almost double of last year), I had a better garden at home, I taught 15 classes at work, I read more books, I weeded the entire vegetable garden, sifted the compost piles and weeded two of the five perennial beds. My housekeeping went downhill and I will probably be spending the winter cleaning, sorting and getting rid of all the accumulated clutter.  My windows never got washed.  The carpets didn't get shampooed. The used slipcovers are still in a heap waiting to go to the Suds & Wash. I had a great suntan all year.  Perfected Chicken Marsala and Carbonara.  Made 22 jars of Concord grape jelly.  Got a new roof on the house.  New glasses and frames. Finished one pen and paper journal and nearly finished the new one.  More art in the new journal.  There are many unfinished threads left at the end of 2010.  The jewelry I had wanted to make last winter.  The placemats I cut and prepared but never quilted.  And I am still trying to find an author to read over the winter.  Perhaps Elizabeth George.  From the beginning.

In any event, you will have a front row seat to whatever happens in 2011 (and the days leading up to New Years).  Now, to begin hauling fabric upstairs.