Sunday, October 08, 2023

Field Notes- Sunday, October 8th. Dark and Raining here in Maine....


 The sugar Maples are dropping their leaves here in Maine.  The street out front is covered in maple leaves. The Oak trees in my yard still have green leaves....but acorns are falling like rain...So many acorns. I have to be careful walking to ge the paper or the mail- could twist an ankle stepping on one.

I don't have any idea if we are going to see husband today or not.  No contact with daughter so far.

It's cold and dark in the house....

I am exhausted.  I am tired of the push pull of arguments with daughter.  So very very tired of them.

She wants us both to live FOREVER....We both are in our late 70's......the clock is ticking. I have relatives that lived into their mid 80s' (so the possibility of another 10 years for me). Husband has out lived his entire family at 77.  Everyone else died years and years younger.  Mostly at 60.  When he had his heart attack and the Dog pressed his head to G's chest.  If he had been home alone- he would have died.  Like every other man in his family.

I am emotionally exhausted.  I come home, change into my pajamas and watch PBS things I have recorded.  Professor T last night.  Three episodes. I barely have any interest in eating. I do drink hot sweet tea.  I consider potato chips but so far..haven't had any.

I have to empty the ornamental containers out on the sidewalks...sift the roots out of the sterile soil and store the soil in a garbage can in the garage.....before we have a freeze.

I need to hire someone to leaf blow the oak leaves and the acorns off the front lawn.  But the leaves aren't ready to go yet.  The Acorns are abundant. I also need to line the sidewalk edges with the sticks husband usually puts out on the edges....so the guy shoveling will know where the sidewalks are.

I usually shovel the walks... but Who knows what condition I will be in by Winter.?????

I noticed a Bullmoose Bookstore in a parking lot CLOSE to the hospital.......turned out to be a VERY EXCITING thing for daughter and she found a basket full of books for her collection.  So a crap day had a bit of sunshine in it.  They have a sprinkling of new and a boatload of old...so she was in her element. Even found a hard back of a book she had only EVER seen in paperback. I got four RomComs. So I was happy as well. I also got a hardback Met Her Match by Deveraux so I was very very happy as well.

My bookcase is filling up.  Like a Squirrel Preparing for Winter with a GOOD STOCKPILE of ACORNS. I have a good stockpile of books.  My favorites. I even found a hardcover of a book I had just read...

the Sun seems to be coming out....I need to eat.  Thank you for reading this post.  


3 comments:

DianeN said...

I wish I lived near you to lend a hand. Just know I am thinking of you and wishing the best for everyone. Please take care.

Paula, the quilter said...

Even though I don’t comment much, just know that I am here. I canned the last of the tomatoes yesterday: 5 pints for a total of 16 for the season I foresee a lot of tomato based cooking. I wish we lived closer to each other because I’d bring some to you.

Joanne S said...

Just knowing the two of you are thinking of me- it's enough..it really really is....
I come home from the hospital and watched the news about Israel. Gaza...Neither side has clean hands.
I did eat. I read a book...and now I am going to bed.

i was the executor for my dad....I did just what I thought he would have wanted me to do. I sat by his bed and talked to him for hours. and he drifted off to the next world....... husband dis still aware....still afraid...
Strangely,,,I am not afraid of death.....I tried to tell him not to be afraid. Just...on to the next Life.....