Rain Melted Snow

Yes, the grass over the septic tank line is visible. In January. My Apple Blossom amaryllis has flowers on the second stalk. Way past Christmas. Too early for Valentine's Day. And I have two open blossoms on the Lion Red. Not enough light for a photograph.

It has stopped raining. Riley is at home with me and we will be going out for a walk after lunch. His lunch not mine. I am still working on my bowl of oatmeal. I had a very lazy day yesterday, doing absolutely nothing. And then I went to bed early. And slept late. All the driving rain seemed emotionally oppressive to me. That is the only way I can describe it. Like being held in place by a very heavy blanket.

Today, no rain and the grass is showing through the snow that's remaining. No leaks from the roof into the house. The clock is ticking with a pleasant rhythm. Coffee is good. Oatmeal is okay. I have taken Tylenol already for my back. One of the blogs I read this morning listed symptoms of heart attack in women. I've had those symptoms. All of them at the same time. Not recently. But once or twice and now wonder if I've had heart attacks when I was overweight? It's been years since it happened.

After the white load of laundry is finished, I am taking a shower and getting dressed for the walk. I need to breath some fresh air.

The fridge is filled with containers of leftovers, so dinner isn't a problem. I have kale that needs to be eaten along with roasted butternut squash and beets. And some onion. G has his choice of pasta or pulled pork in burritos. The avocado I was saving for burritos was getting too ripe, so I had it in my green salad last night along with red onion, carrot and a small pile of pulled pork instead of dressing. G had au gratin potatoes with his pork.

I have gotten to the point in the diet, where food that I can have, has lost it's appeal. I want salty, crunchy, tasty and all I get is lentil soup, oatmeal, yogurt and green salad. I want dense, chewy, sweet and I get apples, sugar free jello and a lollipop. I know I can buy or make diet foods with these characteristics. I can eat cake. Non fat. Fat free. Sugar free. Chemically produced food. Food I don't want to eat. It's awful enough to be eating non fat yogurt with phenylalanine, a sugar substitute chemical that can cause strokes. The box of sugar free jello warns that phenylalanine is also in it. Chemicals that get their own specific warning are not good for people. Yes, the warning is in bold face type on the box of jello.

Bittman in the New York Times once reported on a diet where you can eat as much raw food as you want. Eat four apples. Eat eight, one right after the other. It doesn't matter. He says. He takes bags of apples with him on airplanes and eats them all, along with small amounts of nuts and cheese. He visited some diet institute and everyone was eating apples. Apples have anywhere from 70 (small- 2.5 ounces) to 125 (large) calories each. Four small apples would be 280 calories which is okay as a meal, but four large is 500 and that creates a problem with a 1200 calorie a day diet. So four small or two large apples for lunch. And nothing else. The raw apple diet. I still have a few 70 calorie apples (I weighed them) which I eat when I have 70 calories to spare. Not often. 1200 calories isn't much. But I have to say there are days when I have made terrific choices and the total for the day is 800 or less. But, usually this means I have had TWO good meals and NOT three. I have skipped breakfast. Or lunch.

In 2007, I regularly skipped lunch. I would have a very late breakfast and a 50 calorie package of reduced fat cheese to take to work with me along with a cup of tea. And then I would eat a reduced size portion of my regular dinners. That was when I worked at the library and was very busy for the entire four hour shift. Working here at home, I'm not that busy. At the greenhouse I get very hungry. My tummy grumbles. I want food. Which is why I gained weight. Simple.

To the shower. Time to get moving.