I'm thinking I have about 20 more years on planet Earth. Living to 90 is certainly not certain. But I can give it a good try. So, we should be thinking of ways to enjoy that 20 years after spending the previous 69 plus working to afford "just living".
Well, that is really sounding like a "downer" isn't it. But I think it is difficult for people living a "purpose driven life" to shut that thinking off (or just mute it) and start living a joyful life. Not that purpose in itself can't be joyful. I would say I have been happy almost my entire life. Happy-Ish.
Once I stopped wondering if I had failed to accomplish what fate had set out for me to accomplish but in truth that supposed "failure" still haunts me. I never had a job title that defined me and my accomplishments. My parents expected me to have that. I never did.
I have always tried to have employment. Been rather driven to always have employment. And I can't quite let that compulsion go. But I have never had a profession.
Perhaps in Twenty Sixteen I can let that go?
Today I washed out the silverware drawer. It doesn't contain any "silver". That's the drawer next to the drawer I washed today. Full of silver flatware we don't use. Saving it for a special occasion. And truth be told, there are never any special occasions. Neither of my children want it. So, I should just open the case, pull it all out and use it. But the regular every day drawer is now clean and sorted. Item 8 on my 50 item list of things I cleaned, tidied, finished or put away.
A dear friend is coming over to eat with us this evening. We'll have some sort of artichoke dip she is bringing alongside gin and grapefruit juice drinks. Pizza (I have the dough rising in the oven with the pilot light as heat source), a nice green salad, and red wine. I am also considering making cheese manicotti but that may be too much food. We have brownies for dessert with whipped cream or ice cream. I think that's a special enough occasion for the silver flatware and the crystal glasses.
We finished watching River. Loved it. And are now into Daredevil. Marvel Comics is developing a series of these shows.
The fridge in the garage stopped working. I lost all the red peppers and blueberries from my garden. so much waste. I am sad about it. Very. All was frozen solid the last time I visited the freezer. It's all now in the compost bin.
1 comment:
Hi there. Still following and enjoying your blog. You're right. Expectations can be a downer. But, they can also be a source of encouragement. Consider your expectation of possibly twenty more years of life. I applaud that and as we are about the same age, that's my goal also. I agree it's what you do in those twenty years that counts. I enjoy working very, very part time as well as spending time in my studio creating. It took me a while also to finally deal with other's expectations and to understand that it's only my own that count and I enjoy that very much. Have a great year.
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