Thoughts On Another Rainy Day

You all know I don't do my best thinking on rainy days.  It isn't the "color" of grey that depresses me; after all it is a favorite color for me to wear, but rather the "heaviness" of a day like today.  The barometric pressure.  I feel weighed down, pressed to the surface of the Earth.  But I decided to find something cheerful for today's picture.  And I saturated the color in the little iPhoto effects thing.  There's something so uplifting about over saturated colors.

I worked yesterday.  I wore pants I haven't had on my backside in nearly four years.  I was told I looked "very skinny" yesterday.  Perhaps the baggy loose jeans (which signify lost weight to me) doesn't register as lost weight to those who see me?  This morning I tried on my new Target brand Spanx.  I bought a level three pair of mid thigh shapers.  They certainly do smooth things out.  I would have been more comfy in the (larger) level 4 but they didn't have what I wanted in 4.  And, eventually, I will be comfy in the level 3. I re-sorted all my pants.  For cold weather wear.  No more capri length.

I don't have laundry or vacuuming to do today.  No ironing, either.  I do have to go out to get a few grocery items.  The "very" meaty chili I made, some time in the past week, is very good.  I had a serving yesterday for supper.

 I got home from work in the dark (oh, how I dislike that), found G and the dog sound asleep (6:30), took a shower, read the paper, heated up the chili, ate the chili and then moved into the living room to read.  At 8:20 the dog woke G up by pushing his nose into G's face.  Then we watched some TV.  Person of Interest.  Do you think he killed the guy or forced him to kill himself?

I made my way, 20 pages, further into the Tudor mystery.  I am saddened by the ugliness of the Benedictine monastery depicted in this book.  1500's.  Did things go so badly in 400 years from the time Cadfael was a monk?

This morning I found a quote in my letter from Robert Genn.  It resonated with me as I am missing my friend K quite a bit these days.  We would chat on the phone while watching Survivor. Habit.  The quote was "If your friends aren't making you stronger, then they are making you weaker."

My friend was completely focused on her family.  Her grandchildren.  I was the only unrelated person she had anything to do with.  And her family was always questioning "why" she needed me in her life.  She had all of them.  Wasn't that enough.  Now, it is.  My downfall was in trying to fight my way into position as her friend.  The more I pushed... well, it didn't work out for me.

I believe that friendships can be as cyclical as seasons, color choices and fashion.  Somedays you're in and then you're out.  I was disgruntled when I needed to find new sources for undies, white tee shirts and now jeans.  I still haven't found the slippers I liked best of all.  I need to be open to the people I see every day and I may just find a new friend.