Winter White, Winter Whining

There are so many lessons to be learned this month.  So many things, unexpected, that humble us. Today began without the slightest hint of what was coming.

My joy for my fridge has been tempered by the knowledgable repair person who just left.  Yes, three days old and in need of a repair. I have spent a great deal (to me) of money on what he refers to as "a large styrofoam box coated in thin sheets of metal".  Yes, it is energy efficient but that is about all.  And the ice maker in the fridge door?  Only going to cause trouble.  Each time we open the door, the ice warms up, until it's a big clump and it burns out the motor.  And the freezer drawer?  Another idea that seems nice but isn't.  Any package that is higher than the drawer will keep the drawer from closing.  Even a quarter of an inch.  I have two drawers and so many opportunities for the freezer to go wrong.  No joy.

My joy for reading blogs and leaving comments is also gone.  It took awhile for me to realize that the comments aren't a conversation. The chance to begin a friendship.  Possibly. The comment is ONLY a place for the Reader to affirm the "rightness" of whatever the Writer has written, in 99% of the blogs.  This isn't true of my own blog.  I am always learning from the (very) few readers I have.  They leave comments and I consider their advice.  Sometimes what they have had to say, changes the way I think about a subject.  Other times, it gives me a chance to investigate my own ideas.  Defend my beliefs.  But to be told, thank you for writing but I don't need to hear what you are saying, well, I am done adding my comment.  I may even be done reading that blog.

I typed a bunch more bitchy little things and then deleted them.  This is yet another thing I have to learn and be humbled by.  My propensity to belittle.  To point to the weakness.  One of my Readers pointed this out to me and I have been faithfully rewriting posts since the day I read her comment.  I doubt she is still reading, as she found my habit offensive.  I find it offensive and hope that I have to press delete less often these days.

My enjoyment in reading blogs and visiting the internet is fading.  I don't seem to be finding or reading the really good blogs.  Occasionally, (even a blind squirrel will find an acorn), I find something really good, thought provoking and enjoy reading.  But, as often happens, this is a blogger who doesn't post often or ever again.

Perhaps it is just Winter.  Perhaps it is just me "changing".  Becoming less likable.  More of the Grumpy Old Woman my coworkers call me.  Well, I am going to have a bit of a self absorbed little cry now and then blow my nose and get back to whatever it was I was doing before my fridge needed a repair.