It's Not Raining

I had guessed that June would be the month when the missing winter would appear as it has in other years when we didn't get enough snow during the winter.  But I was wrong.  Winter has come in May.  We had such warmth in April, all the gardeners were ready to plant and get started.  Now, the weather is bone chill cold.  Anything outdoors better be cold tolerant.  Not me.  I am cold, cold, cold.

Some of that is caused by the low carb diet, but most of the cause is being in unheated spaces and out in the rain all day at work.  It doesn't help when you spray yourself with the hose and have to walk around in wet clothing.  My paycheck has 38 hours on it.  Next week there will be a few more hours.  So, full time hours and starting Monday we will be staying open until 7 pm.  A long, long day.  And I hurry home to embrace the warmth in my shower.  A hot shower is my refuge and comfort at the end of the day. Followed by putting on my flannel pajamas, wool socks and slippers.  I even top the whole outfit with a big, floppy sweater I can wrap myself in. Yes, in May.  It's only 47 degrees here.

For the past two days I have had to postpone the shower while I prepared dinner for G.  He would prefer to eat out but I don't have the fiduciary patience for eating out.  He had pulled pork, gnocchi and sautéed sauerkraut on Thursday and yesterday I made tomato soup and while it simmered, I showered.  Then I served it with whole grain tomato bread (someone at work is bringing in huge amounts of leftover bakery bread) topped with cheese and then toasted.  I swirled heavy cream into the blended soup.  It's an easy recipe and takes only 30 minutes from start to finish. I believe I have shared it with you before.

I promised to make the cheesy dumplings when G has the leftover soup for dinner tonight or tomorrow for his lunch. I was trying to think of ways to use up the tomato bread.  I have three new recipes to try and since I am going to the grocery (and library) today, I can buy what I need to make one of them.  I may try the Japanese pancakes (okonomiyaki) which could be interesting for a cold breakfast idea.  I am also making a rhubarb custard pie.  My rhubarb plants in the garden finally look like they may produce some rhubarb this year!!

The cereal I am allowing myself to eat for breakfast (a few days a week) is making me more susceptible to carb temptation.  It's a very fine line between being able to walk away from the pile of breads in the lunchroom and to WANT them.  I brought a wedge of swiss cheese to work as a snack if I felt like I needed to eat.  And I tried drinking more water.  The cereal may just be a "very bad idea" that I have to finally confront.  I may not be able to EVER eat cereal again.  Sad but true.  I don't like the feeling of wanting to eat when I know I am not hungry.  This must be what it's like for people with drug or alcohol  addictions (only worse).  It's like a itch begging to be scratched.  It's sometimes all I can think about.  And after so many months of NOT having this feeling--I resent it being back in my life.

I resent what it means.  That I will always have to limit or exclude wheat products and sugars from my diet.  Giving things up for "a while" is quite different from giving them up always.

My VitaMixer is here.  It arrived Thursday.  I am now having second thoughts.  What, exactly was I wanting to make, besides ice cream?  I need to make a list.  I checked the smoothie recipes in the cookbook that came with the machine.  I don't think I want to try any of them.  I guess I want a high fat smoothie recipe and all of them are low fat, low calorie ones.  Watery.  I may look on the internet for a high fat smoothie.  Like full fat yogurt and mango.