So What Should I Write?

Yesterday a comment that "enough on the diet, my wardrobe etc".  More art.  The art isn't going to happen. There are periods in each year, in my life, when no art is made.  No art is interesting.  You, my Readers, are lucky I participate in the 12 by 12 challenges.  That is the ONLY art I make these days.  And even that brings little joy into my days.  It is WORK.  Meaning it doesn't come without great effort on my part.

Terry wonders on her blog, "how did we end up in this house?" and I feel the same.  How, after so many years and so many places we called "home" did we end up here and for so long?  Before this house, we never stayed anywhere more than 6 years.  We have called 12 different places "home", but, have lived here over 20 years.  I never intended to.

We did mention "retiring" here when we moved here at 45.  We did select a home with single floor living and wide open spaces to accommodate a wheelchair (now a scooter is possible also).  We have yet to remodel the master bath and have a walk in (drive in) shower.  The odds were that one of us will need it.  There is a lovely master suite on the second floor for guests or a caregiver.  We thought of everything.  We just didn't plan on one of us (me) not actually wanting to live here this long.  I am tired of this house and it's unadaptable design.

Only one place for the washer and dryer (the master bath) and who actually wants to do laundry in the master bath????  Only one place for the fridge (and only the smallest size fridge) and what woman wants a tiny apartment sized fridge in a house this large???.  Drafts from the entryway that make the whole house cold (and we can't figure out why it's so cold).  No insulation under the floors (this is an easy fix with spray foam insulation but it NEVER OCCURRED TO US IN 20 YEARS).  G managed to put insulation in most of the second floor "attic" space.  It's a huge space and unheated.  But we haven't added the plastic barrier and drywall yet.  That will be done professionally someday, and probably not by us, now that G is handicapped by only one working lung.  But first, we need an electrician to add wiring and outlets.  We have never CARED enough to fix any of these things.  Sad but brutally true.  Now, after 20 years  of putting up with the design flaws of the house, I just don't care about any of it anymore.  I really don't want to spend the tens of thousands of dollars to "fix" things that are so very difficult to fix.   Demolition is the first item on any "fix".

 But how do we pay for it if we decided to "fix" a few things? The investment banker will probably have some input when we meet up with him.  The money needed to upgrade the house would be coming from the same investments needed to fund our retirement.  Even I know it's not going to work.  We don't have pensions.  We're on our own. G doesn't want to work anymore and he definitely doesn't want to move.  He loves this house.  Actually, he loves the land this house sits on.