Winter Spring Notes- Easter Sunday- March 31st. Sunshine and 43 degrees.

 Postcard from Provence

Happy Easter Sunday.

We have nothing scheduled here for the Holiday.  I wasn't reminded that we might want a Baked Ham.  so..we'll just have the usual.  Which is whatever we feel like making.....I still have beets in the fridge to eat.  I finished off the baked sweet potatoes yesterday... We might actually be having PIZZA.

We both LOVE Pizza. On Sunday.  Even without Open Wheel Racing.

The Sun is shining and 43 degrees is hardly WARM.  But it's the Sun so...I am happy.  I still need to wear socks everyday....so not that warm.   I haven't eaten breakfast as yet so this post will be short....I need to get my oatmeal into the microwave......but not till I hit publish. (causes the screen to flicker)

I spent considerable time yesterday looking for a certain piece of cloth...white with big blue dots.  But No.

It must have come in a package of squares- and that was the only one of it's kind.   Now I have to reorganize my thoughts about what I was going to do.....I do not appreciate when that happens.  I had a PLAN and now whatever I do with NOT be the PLAN so will aggravate me no end.

"get out of your "box", whatever your "box" might be."

Winter Spring continues into Saturday, March 30. Another big branch has fallen- not close to the house.

 Another Postcard from Provence. 

Also reminding me of Germany.

So...windy yesterday with rain and branches coming down.  The Soil here is sandy.  So not the most secure foothold for tree roots when they become top heavy..

I had a plan yesterday for some hand sewing- but one of the fabrics used in what would be the center....could not be found- even with diligent searches.  It's in a 3 inch 9 patch square.  Hardly noticed by anyone but me...and it would be the center of the larger square I am making......

All of the California Purples are accounted for....now shelved so they are always ready to go.  The tiny closet I am using.....is packed...I actually thought I would sew yesterday instead of watching tv but during commercials I was getting up to search.  Then I gave up both endeavors and read my book.

I also made a "deluxe" grilled cheese sandwich- using up the last two slices of very dry bread and three slices of American cheese and butter....it was delicious.  No pickles. No chips.  I had both but- the sandwich was enough by itself.  

I also bought a package (packet) of Biscoff "biscuits" with Belgian Chocolate.  Son says they are something you get when you travel by airplane.....the cookies are tiny and there are three in each miniature pack.   In America they are just tiny "cookies".  Brits call them biscuits.

Email from the Banker- our taxes are done. I got a small refund which was applied to next year's return. and that's about all that is happening...

I decided I like Missing Without a Trace best of all....second is CST-NY.  I do not like CSI- Miami. I don't stay awake long enough to watch the final three hours of Law and Order- Criminal Intent.  Even  though it is my all time favorite show.  I am ready for bed by 9 pm most days...I fall asleep right away and wake up around 9 am.  And, I have never been a good sleeper...so this is very "new" but okay...I don't dream which is also new....but usually if I dreamed it was not a happy event.  

Remember that dream of me being on a bus in the dark and having no idea where the bus was going and afraid to get off??? I think I wrote about it once years ago...I had that dream so often I was afraid to fall asleep.  I know it was brought on by something in my Life but I never knew what.  

Winter/Spring Notes- 41 degrees and 89% humidity. Drizzle.

 Postcard from Provence.

Reminds me of my house in Fischbach Germany.  Looking out over green fields.  Frankfurt in the distance. But this is Provence.

Grocery Shopping in the rain....  I got extra ice cream.....son was shocked that I had eaten half of last week's purchase.  I guess .....I got lactate free bars....one box of chocolate ones.  

The lactate free yogurt is in limited flavors.....I can only get strawberry rhubarb, raspberry and honey. I do not care for blueberry, lemon or peach.  If the peach was in chunks perhaps but not pureed peaches. they never have cherry.  In season I add pitted sweet cherries to the vanilla bean.

I got string cheese...we'll see.

We got the PERFECT GROCERY PACKER.  Today.  Son was very impressed and so was I when I unpacked the bags.   Very Jenga.

My book for yesterday and today is the Neighbor Favor by Kristina Forest.  Characters are black. And for some reason the author has to hammer this point relentlessly.  I am "color blind" when it comes to race.  I was integrated from K thru five.  I see people. I don't see color.  I am annoyed and might not finish reading the book.  My son would tell me that not everyone is like me...and perhaps they need educating thru literature.  Okay.

I have to turn on the house lights....I sorted some blue fabric...squares...was thinking of hand stitching while watching Missing Without a Trace and CSI NY.  There's no Law and Order. But...it's all the same blue so needs "something" to contrast....I am not eager to dig around in the sewing room two afternoons in a row.   

Well, I selected books by their covers today....."never judge a book by it's cover"..........I'll let you know how it goes.  Hope it's not raining where you are today.

Winter Spring Notes- Thursday March 28 and still snow on the ground- Rain. 44 degrees and 99% humidity.

 You all must know by now that the solar system is very interesting to me.  An Eclipse...we are supposed to be able to enjoy the experience here in Maine when it happens- but I think there will be clouds....it's very cloudy right now and wet outside.

My Tree Guy will be back to take down...well, if I had MY way...ALL the trees.  I don't have many here that are worth anything in value or looks.....just crappy trees. But he's taking DOWN QUITE a FEW.

So that's off the list....I took down everything but the calendar that is across from the dining room table... not that it helps me remember anything......I usually use the daily paper when I need to write checks and get the date correct.  Even my daily morning pills....I check the date on the paper to see if I remembered to take them...mostly vitamins.  The walls are now blank.

I had Extra Crunchy Cheetos.  the puffy ones...I love them.  Now the bag is empty...that was yesterday. Just updating you all on my snacks.  I finally remembered why I had low fat string cheese on the grocery list..... to have for snack with celery or carrots......I had Cheetos. Instead.  Wonder why??????

Carol next door will be happy the very very tall fat pine will be taken down.  Mainly because if it fell on her propane tanks- too very large ones right under the tree limbs....the explosion would be massive. I am not interested in causing a massive propane explosion...and... my bedroom is right there....being blown up.

On that cheerful note- I am going to reheat my coffee and settle into the couch cushions on this VERY DARK DISMAL DAY..... oh, I had a very very long and detailed chat on the phone with my insurance agent.....trees have to hit the house in order for the insurance to pay for removal.....and then she told me all about her dad in Wisconsin....everything about that situation.....and because it wasn't insurance business she was whispering the info into the phone....My Life...is so damned weird.

Winter/Spring Notes- Wednesday, March 27th. 44 degrees-95% humidity.

 Postcard from Provence.

I took down all the paper and scribbles pinned to the dining room walls....I swept the floor....I ran most of what I took down thru the paper shredder......the walls look filthy.   Everything looks dirty and unkept.  YEARS of not doing what needed to be done....YEARS.  Of my LIFE..and not getting any of it back.

So, this post will be short and bitter.

I called my Tree Guy.  He is somewhere nearby so will drive over to give things a look.  See if any of it is dangerous to be left for a few weeks.....I don't see any dangerous-ness.  Other people have more need for his work than I do...right now.

Yes, I have a Tree Guy.  The very first time he stopped by...to see what trees I wanted taken down- wow... he looked like a guy straight out of a romance novel. His eyes!  Not any more.  Not any more.

So...I took paper- pictures etc --off the walls....I dusted the walls... scrubbed the sink twice....I swept the floors --twice...and now I am sitting down......the Trust People have picked up our tax info.  That's handed off and I can stop having it on the To Do List.

It's quiet....no generators running.  I haven't turned on the tv.  I have already read the news.  I finished the book I was reading before going to bed.....I have selected a new one as yet.....I might have passed a point in the mourning process.....I might be heading into the Future....who knows. I certainly don't have a clue.

Winter Spring Notes- Tuesday March 26th. 36 degrees...

 Yes, a picture I actually took of the crab tree by the front porch...covered in ice that first day.  And yes, we have snow.  The truck came and they pulled the branch - rather large--off the power line and then the bucket truck guy did something on the power pole and we had light just about 15 minutes ago.

That's how much I have missed all of you.....first thing to do- write to you.

My cross the street neighbor is back from a hotel....trying to get her boiler working to heat the house.  Ours is running and has been since C. flipped the switch.....  that was enough of a "camping experience" for me.....even with the generator providing hot water, heat and the microwave as well as the fridge.  In the 1990"s Ice Storm we just put all the food out in the garage and let it freeze.  Cooked on the gas grill. Froze in the house...Good times.

We have large pieces of two different trees in the side yard....we'll need some one to come work on them.. The one- was close enough that it could have ripped the power lines off the side of the house.  We really lucked out....one branch tip is buried deep in the ground....came down hard.

My hands are cold typing this... and I am missing Wheel of Fortune.... All is well.

Winter- Spring Notes- Power is Back ON!!!

I have to turn off the computer so Son can shut down the generator...  so- we are fine. We are excited mohave the power back on...last street in the neighborhood.

A branch was the power line and then the bucket truck had to do some work and then the porch lights came on.  We are very happy and I need to shut this down so Son can go shut off the generator and put us back on the grid.......wow...it's been three days....

He is counting the days until her  can get the hell out of here.

Saturday, March 23rd...It's SNOWING. 29 degrees. 86% humidity.

 Postcard from Provence.

I recognize his brush strokes.

Yes, It's snowing and its cold.  And the daffodils- they hadn't flowered as yet....are now standing in snow. a few inches....it was supposed to snow and then rain....I guess it didn't get the memo.

Not enough for the plow but, if it doesn't warm up...son will have to do some shoveling...He is not happy. the street is plowed.

Yesterday daughter came to drop off my Christmas present.  Mittens.  Since she was here, I asked if she would go up into the Open Attic and get a few stems of my "fake flower" collection for the amaryllis pots- they still have leaves (feeding the bulbs for next Winter) and some pretty little fake flowers would be "happy" on the table here across from the sink.....where I hand wash dishes.

She also brought down some cherry blossoms....long stems... she then climbed up to get one of the tall vases.  Covered in dust from  being on top of a built in cupboard (full of dishes).   I now have it on a table I can see from my Reading Watching TV Couch.  Lovely.  Arching branches...makes me smile. Tall and wide and beautiful.

Long Ago and Far Away...I used to create floral displays in vases for the Library Check Out Desk. The Spooky House was there for Halloween and the Gingerbread Dollhouse for Christmas.  All that stopped when I left the Library rather abruptly......and I sat at home for a few months and then approached the Greenhouse about part time work...I was a Master Gardener.  I had a certificate and a name tag.  I spent many happy years working at the greenhouse...Many.  There were a few times (at the end) when I felt dizzy and very very tired.....and the greenhouse is a very bad place to feel dizzy...so I retired.  And only arrived to teach classes...which I loved doing...then COVID.  Nothing has actually been the same since COVID.

I am seeing masks on people in stores these days.... one woman told me she had had COVID twice this Winter...My Lunch Buddy had it once. Combined with the Flu.  I wondered if they had kept up with their shots......yes, they said...we did have vaccinations.  So.....what can one say????

Winter Spring Notes- Friday March 22nd. Grocery shopping. Library.

 Bougie.

So, Grocery shopping...was cold and not sunny and then warm. It can't decide.  Snow and cold tomorrow.

I bought things I actually needed and some things I didn't need at all.

I bought ice cream and Son said- "would be nice if we could share that...but you eat it out of the tub."

Yes, I do.  Husband did not eat ice cream...so now..I have to change my ways. Correction. Updated.

Yesterday I had some of the vegetables from the St Patrick's Day Boiled Dinner....potato, carrots, cabbage.  Plus the broth from cooking everything.....Delicious.  did I already write this yesterday????? I now have more beets, more sweet potatoes....more cheese--and Son pointed out- I already had cheese...oh my bad.

I also watched National Geographic Channel yesterday and the new way to photograph the forest to see what's under the trees.......buildings and roads from long time ago.  Very interesting. The men and one woman crawled into a very tight space and I didn't like watching that...........they found bones and a cup. Very excited about both...them...not me.

Then some CSI Miami...ugh.  Then my daily Navel Orange. Later some ice cream.

I woke up pretty early and then just had, whatever one calls it,...waking dreams. sort of like telling oneself a story.  It took up time....which for me..is a good thing...there is too much time to fill these days.  No hair dryer.  I must have given it away.

That's all.....I got a bag full of books....some will good and some will be returned.

All these "sign up and send money things husband had running"...son says just delete.  So here in the middle of the post...I had them pop up (again) and when I deleted them...the post went somewhere as well.  It's back and I am signing out.

Winter/spring Notes- Thursday, March 21st- SNOW and 28 degrees outside.

 I don't know where this image came from but....here it is.  All messed up...like me.

I woke up to the alarm clock....at 9 am...and I actually thought it was closer to noon.  My inner clock is all out of wack.   Really.

I haven't had breakfast yet...or coffee..so I can't really know what I will be typing here....also- there is snow on the ground.....I had been considering raking leaves.  Not today.

My hair is bothering me- I haven't had a haircut since.....well, the nightmare drive with husband to the salon.....where I cancelled all future visits. He hadn't a clue where he was going....it was very very scary.

My hair is wild, white and out of control.  Its not long enough for a rubber band- I have tried...and it's stubborn enough that bobby pins don't have a chance to contain it.  Though I try.  Gathering what I can and turning it into a small knot and adding every bobby pin I can find....it starts escaping right away.

I looked yesterday--- I used to have a blow dryer....but......no.  So. I look like a 77 year old Mad Woman.

I remembered to eat my navel orange mid afternoon.  I did NOT have any squares of dark chocolate.... I am trying NOT to do that EVERY afternoon.  I don't think I ate supper....I did have lunch.....I don't remember what it was....possibly bread and cheese....I could have had cold pizza....perhaps today.

I should have had some of the Corned Beef vegetables....Today....I will have that today.

Husband's high school prom date sent me an email yesterday........you just can't make this stuff up......

Spring Notes- Wednesday March 20th. 45 degrees and cloudy.

 This looks like a cake we used to make when I was in my teens...  The square pan.  It's in the NYT feed that keeps wanting me to subscribe to on line news.  I like newspaper news on my table while I eat my oatmeal.  A real live paper newspaper.  (even though today's sudoko was impossible)

I have to go back and see if this is the vinegar cake....I have a small recipe card for that. I could just use the frosting recipe of this cake on that recipe card cake.....I think it's egg free.

Son has gone to have his car inspected and the oil changed.  At the dealership owned by our next door neighbor.  Well, they own several, including Land Rover and Volvo.  We don't own either of those cars.

We did have a Land Rover.... I actually drove that some of the hours of many vacations... On highways.

It blows my mind that I did that....literally.

Yesterday and today's book is the Burn Out...Sophie Kinsella.   British.  Two burnouts are staying at a falling down resort on the ocean..... She is supposed to be on a "fake" detox regimen and he is sending texts of apology to all the people he yelled at before being sent away from work and drinking Scotch on the beach.  I've read it before...I'm in a different emotional place this reading..... so it has an added layer to it in the reading... of not knowing what to do with........situations you had not planned on. 

I read until Missing Without a Trace comes on CHARGE- 1169 on my cable line up.  Then CSI-NY. the old ones with references to 9-11.  So, I have one load of wash in the dryer and one in the washer and I turned the mattress on my bed........getting back to a more normal existence.

Are you being honest?  About your feelings?

Spring Notes- Busy Day visiting with an good friend........she picked me up.

 I'm FINE!!!

I had a chance to visit with an old friend today...she came to get me a 10:30 and I just now returned home. We had so much to say.....

I completely FORGOT to post.  Because I was dressed and ready to go..........

So, yes we started talking at 10:30 and I just got home at 6 pm.   We are both in the caretaker position- Her sister is now in assisted living but might not like it.....we'll see.  We compared doctor visits....

We had corned Beef and Cabbage yesterday and it was delicious....I just now had two baked sweet potatoes with butter and spices of Swiss cheese all melted together....very good.

The Cardinal was here today before I got picked up.... 

Sigh..we talked about so much.  She is care giver for her sister...so some parts of the past months have had the same stresses.   It was good for both of us to talk about things......we had planned to go out to lunch but we forgot.   It felt good not to be the only one forgetting.

Spring Notes- Monday, March 18th. St Patrick's Day. 44 degrees and cloudy.

 My daffodils look a bit like this- with leaves scattered around.  Mine don't have color yet.  These plants are tulips....I don't have any of those- they don't like my yard.  Tulips. Or...more likely the deer ate them leaves, flowers and bulbs.....and I gave up on tulips.

We are getting our corned beef up to simmer.........well, two people doing stuff makes it all twice as interesting.   Looks great so far.

I will keep an eye out for the simmer getting room "much".

I had to thread the sewing machine this morning to make a second tuck in the waistband of the pants I pulled from the closet.....to wear today.   Son is doing laundry so I have to wait until he is done to do my own.....

I worked on husband's alarm clock...got it to the new Spring Time...hopefully the tinkering won't mean the alarm goes off at some unspecified time.  Always fun around here.  I'm working on adjusting the "simmer" speed.  With gas it's easier with electric it calls for multiple adjustments.

When I sign off, I am going to peel carrots and wash potatoes....which will be added to the broth with wedges of cabbage when the meat has finished cooking.  I haven't had Corned Beef and Cabbage in YEARS.  I used  to make it when the kids were home....and a few times for the two of us...but after awhile my husband refused to eat less and less "home cooking".  Unless it was chicken soup or pasta.

It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.  EE Cummings.

Spring Notes- 47 degrees with 99% humidity. It rained. the sun arrives and then gone.

My picture file needs a clean out.  Today in the watery Spring  "Clouds/Sun/Clouds" thing going on-I am not really sure....the back garden bed daffodils are showing just a tiny bit of yellow.  Perhaps  a day or two more. One of the Christmas Amaryllis still has two red flowers. The second one no flowers but great looking leaves. The flowers do not last very long....after those last two flowers pass on, I will need to feed the plant to grow the bulb for next Winter.   Then take it out of the pot to rest.....

We are having Sunday Pizza...the usual....and tomorrow we'll do Corned Beef. No Open Wheel Racing. I have a book to read and sorted puzzle pieces- looking for the straight edges borders.  All white.  Sigh.

I've managed to get several sets of four and five pieces....none of them connect to anything else.

I finished the Sea Captain book... I don't know what to read next.....not really excited about anything in the book pile.  sigh. Perhaps it's time for the Accidental Beauty Queen re-read.  A delicious rom com from the bookcase.  There is good stuff in the bookcase.

I want to ask son to drive me across the bridge to the next Town- the bookstore and Reny's for candy (lemon drops) and perhaps if I am "LUCKY" garden clogs....you just never know with Reny's.  All of my garden shoes have lost the no slip bottoms...dangerous for old women.  Like Me.

I am tempted to eat dessert before dinner....... 

"are you being honest with yourself?"

Spring Notes- Being optimistic. Saturday, March 16th. 48 degrees and sunshine.

 Starting to get ready for Spring.

Son found and we got rid of all the food in the fridge that had spots.....I have rice to eat today- he checked- no spots...I had the last of the roasted beets yesterday- so good-no spots.  And supposedly good for one's heart.  Commercials about beet chewables on every channel.  Why not real beets?

Long discussion on what day to make the Corned Beef.  We may still change our minds.

I have a Friend Date on the 19th. Getting picked up and returned home... We met long ago, at the Greenhouse I think....got along...then COVID entered the picture and well, nothing has actually been the same since.  Except for my Lunch Buddy Lunches.  I don't have coffee dates with another Library Co-Worker anymore...perhaps we should try and do that again.....we email.

After all these years, the Quilting Group, the Master Gardening Stuff......you would think I would have FRIENDS.......sigh.  You would think that.  I have more contact with all of you out there in Email/Spring Notes Land than I have with real in person people.

I am reading the first book in  the series I liked and enjoyed so much.  It Happened One Summer. Sea Captains. I am just a few pages into it...the two sisters from California Movie Star Land have just arrived in a fishing village and are living in an old bar building.  Mice in the walls and one sister set fire to something so far.  They have a LONG way to go.   Tessa Bailey.  I am trying to read all her books.

I had a difficult morning so far....but I seem to be over it.....the morning paper usually straightens out any emotion kinks.  And I persevere.  I work thru it.

The Privilege of a Lifetime is to become who you truly are.   Carl Jung.

Spring Notes- Friday March 15th. 40 degrees with 94% humidity. Grocery Day.

 Ideas for my planter boxes this year....the Hosta with yellow borders... I think some is growing in the bed under the weeping crab (out front where I haven't raked leaves as yet).  I can have it in the planter box and then add to the bed under the tree. 

Grocery shopping... I asked a man-- who looked like he knew his way around corned beef (looked like he cooked)-- about what to select for just two people.  And we got a flat cut..... which he said "you'll be eating for a few days"..... I went and got a few more potatoes.   We had already gotten a cabbage and carrots.  Needed to cover the "few days" with extra vegetables for me.

I also got to scrub the vegetable drawer on the left side of the fridge.......things had gone sideways...and squishy.  The sink drain needed work as well and I gagged a bit..... but it's tidy now.

I bought 6 eggs in case we needed to bake another cake.....or some cookies. The things husband liked are "too sugary" for C.  So I have to dig into the recipe box for new ideas.

The Gone Without a Trace series I am watching every afternoon-  getting old....last one was so boring. I never was a big fan of CSI-NY but it's still okay to watch...the Miami one with that carrot headed guy- nope.  By 8 pm I am toast so the fact that Criminal Intent is on then......bummer.   I may record them to watch from noon to 3pm..

Still NOT watching News.  I read what happened in the morning paper and that is "enough".

I got six new books at the Library.  Well, new to me.  I'm reading a two book series about Sea Captains. Manly Men. Tessa Bailey. She wrote some of the other books I have enjoyed this winter.  I also got another Jo Baker book for serious reading.

Oh, and we stopped at the Town Office to pay the semi annual Property Tax Bill.  Men were there buying tags for their boats....C had been there recently to get his car tag.  

Oh and C FINALLY found the spot on the dashboard screen to actually shut off the driver's seat heater. On the Jeep.... Husband had it on a very hot setting as he was always COLD.  So that box got checked off. I refused to have the heater on my seat.....REFUSED.....

No more grumbling.

Be yourself...not the idea of who you think you should be.  H D Thoreau.

Winter/Spring Notes- Thursday, March 14th. 43 degrees cloudy Sunshine.

 KZ Stevens.  In my morning mailbox. An online class. 

I slept.  Waking dream of our visit to Russia- brought on by sorting photos before going to bed.  It was different.  I was not well- in quite a bit of physical pain.....so I don't recall it very clearly.....but the underground train stations had beautiful art.  The fish for supper was full of thin bones.  The circus we went to smelled of body odor.  Intense body odor. I watched a soccer game from my hotel window.

And then an upsetting movie style dream of a murder in the grocery store parking lot- where I shop every Monday....now, I might be watching too much Without a Trace and CSI New York.  Way too much. So I switched last night to watching something worse- ....the melting Arctic Ice which holds methane gas and is NOW melting and letting it escape into the atmosphere. The Space Station is taking infrared photos.

I am reading an early version of Tessa Bailey's books.  Hook, Line and Sinker.  Interesting.  To see what an author keeps and what they let go.  This book is number two, I think, and I need to find number one... if any Library bought the first book.. It Happened One Summer.

I had the last piece of the Boozie Bundt Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream... last night.  My meal planning and eating is not great....I don't think a flour tortilla and cheese is a "meal".  I need to do much better.

Being Authentic is a complicated process.  Seek Therapy.

Spring Notes- 46 degrees with Sunshine- Sorting papers for the Tax Man. Paying Property Taxes.

 Crashing Waves- Postcards from Provence I think. Brush stokes seem similar.

Sunshine.  Opened a window last night....fresh air. 

Dug around in the garage yesterday after abandoning tv...... and found a really good rake.....worked on the garden bed up against the south side of the house.....the daffodils I planted years ago are coming up and the pile of dead leaves was covering them....so I raked...cut back a few things....got contact dermatitis on my hands.

Everything looks great from inside the house....next time I feel like it...the bed in the island just a few feet away.   Raking before things start to poke up thru the leaves. Peonies. Not the ones that caught on fire in the Garden Tractor Fire.  

Only two red flowers left on my amaryllis from Christmas.   Then two pots of just leaves.....hopefully feeding the bulb for next year.  The Poinsettia from 2022 has red "flower" leaves on it.  Odd but certainly entertaining.  I think the plants are "forced" in greenhouse to turn red sooner- more so for Christmas. It's interesting and if husband was still here and coherent- the botanist would tell me how and why it happens.

I had to look it up. Myself.....and that's what I will be doing until I forget how to look things up.

I was going to find the calendar page with the dementia time line...but then..why? Hospice called the other day to check in with me to see how I was doing, if I needed support etc.  When you are released from Hell on Earth, everything else fails to be much trouble at all.  Not any trouble,.....and I am sleeping.

Daughter and her employer came and hooked up husband's trailer....took it...for when they have a smaller hauling job and don't need the large trailer.....one more thing off our "to do" list.  Get rid of trailer.

Just in Time.....getting bored with Missing Persons, and CSI NY.   Will need to find a new activity to hold my interest....Reading is also slowing down......I am getting "picky".  It happens.  I start a book and then say- why am I reading this badly written book????  I ordered two more of  Jo Baker's books.  They are coming from far away libraries....perhaps in a week or two.  I am working my way thru two TEEN books. So far.....okay.

Well, that's me for today.....the button fell off the pants I was wearing--and guess what-- I can't find it. fell off right in front of me-- and can't find it.....geez.  I now have other pants on.  And a pile more to choose from if button falls off these....my size these days matches well with the buying of arm loads of 25 cents each pants at the LLBEAN employee bargain store.  This pair has a working waist band button..

Later today- I am going to go searching for buttons...loose buttons...I know they are here...somewhere. And sew a fresh button on those pants.....I liked them.  I like the ones I have one as well.  All's Well.

Spring Notes- Tuesday March 12th. Sunshine. 43 degrees

 Victor Higgins.

A bit late but I had emails to answer.   Plans to make .

Gosh- Plans. To Make.......wow. Who are you????

We has gusty winds and rain but now it looks peaceful- the Sun is back and the side ponds are full of water.....like Time Travel back to when this was something that happened EVERY SPRING.  

I am continuing to watch shows about Missing Persons.  Gone Without a Trace.  Followed by CSI- Miami.  Which I do not like as much....if I stick around I transition to Law and Order.

No news watching....ZERO. I do read the headlines in the Daily Newspaper and skip the ones with The Big Orange Mental Case.  Why couldn't his Daddy love him?????  Save us all this mess.

I had my first portion of Roasted Beets....with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Salt and pepper.  Delicious. today I am having a grilled cheese sandwich. With pickles.  Crunchy Cheetos.  Orange fingers.

I should have a slice of Boozy Cake before it's all gone.

This is my goal for today....lunch and Boozie Cake.  Absolutely Nothing Else.  I sorted paper yesterday for taxes...and now-- I just want o let all of that GO.  My Second Half Property Taxes- Four digits starting with a four.   Hit me today.....what do I get for this expenditure....exactly what??????

Winter/Spring Notes- In Maine one never knows......33 degrees- 54% humidity. No Sun.

 I have a similar path here...but not that view.  No city on the horizon. Just more trees......

I woke and had a weird waking dream...I have them often.  Almost like real life but not. More like an Alternative Life. I was packing up and leaving...wondering if my leaving would be noticed.

We had Sunday Pizza...it was very good.  While the oven heated I tucked my three organically farmed beets into the oven.....then took them out to bake the pizza and then back in until they were cooked thru. I will eat them cold with Balsamic vinegar and good olive oil.  Salt and pepper.  If I had planned ahead successfully- rare these days---a ball of soft mozzarella would be included.

I have on two rings my late husband gave me as gifts.....they actually fit and aren't "too tight".  I think they always fit but were "emotionally too tight".  Now they are just rings...no emotions attached to them at all. I tried to find some- emotion--but no...it had dried up and blown away on the wind. Long ago.

It rained here...pretty hard and most of the day... the side yard (the Dip) is full.  The bird baths are full. The back garden bed- between the house and the Septic tank- the daffodils there are about three or four inches tall.  Still just green shoots....that bed and others were never cut down before winter.  My husband forgot. And I didn't have time. Now I have more Time than I know what to do with.

I found my fat Mont Blanc fountain pen...and several others.... along with the rings.

Seek Therapy.

Spring Notes- On a very very WET Sunday in Maine. Planning to watch British Soccer.

 Grilled Cheese with Mayo not butter.

So..the Atomic Clock on the wall Sprang forward on it's own.  Son's clock radio did the same.

The Male Cardinal has been here two days in a row...a juvenile, I think...a rather larger female was with him.  In the same tree.  The male was actually eating seeds off the porch floor... so, a bit smarter.....

We watched open wheel racing yesterday.  At the very start one car smashed into a concrete wall. No one was injured, but his brain must have smacked into the front of his skull?????  The Dutch guy won AGAIN.  He wins every week.

Liverpool v Manchester.  Soccer.  I hope the crowd sings.

There is some Rugby later.

Yes, I am quite the Sports Fan.  Foreign Sports.

So.....the Rain is...coming down...the lowest spots on the property have filled with rain water.  No ducks. No eagles flying over to snatch up a duck for dinner.  son won't come down until 1pm for something- lunch????  10-1-4-7-10..... I have zero scheduled meals or anything.  I just wander thru my day.....open to anything that flies into my thoughts...  I did finish my book last night..... the Midnight News.  I won't recommend you read it....few people enjoy the books I enjoy...but it's a very good book.

They are singing....gotta go.

Winter- Almost Spring Notes---Saturday, March 9th. 37 degrees, overcast..humid.

 Postcard from Provence.

Apples.   

So today....I sent a letter of apology to a gardening friend....I saw her last in a parking lot- the dentist office- It was still summer and husband hadn't fallen yet and gone away in an ambulance the first time. It was a long, long time ago and ...not very long ago at all.  it can be both...at the same time.  

She was having a hard time with a bad shoulder and I didn't check in with her as I should have.

I took a shower this morning and washed my hair again with the lovely Korean shampoo and conditioner.... My hair is soft and curling at the ends...still making me look a bit MAD.  Crazy mad...but...old women often look that way...

Son has his little rice cooker going....making rice for me.  It will make a gently chirping beep when the rice is cooked.  I have green peas... butter, sweet soy sauce.... a good lunch.

I also now have vanilla ice cream and will have a slice of Boozy Cake....before it's all gone.

Connie..... I looked at the Salmon yesterday at the grocery store.  I didn't buy it....but did buy beets.  Big Fat Dark Red Beets....supposed to be good for one's HEART.  We'll see.  I will roast them in the oven till they are soft. and then eat them with balsamic vinegar. I also bought shiny. fat, heavy Navel Oranges.... my "Fruit of the Week"...

Navigate Life with Purpose.

Winter Notes- Friday, March 8th. Sunshine and 66 degrees in the house. Son's Attic is warmer.

 Don't know what these are.

We sorted batteries again (tested them) and then bought a new pack .....

I bought a bag of peas....in case Son makes rice in the Magic Rice Cooker.. the frozen corn was great but I prefer frozen green peas with my rice and Sweet Soy Sauce.  Picky.

Breakfast was oatmeal and after shopping was a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese. Toasted.

Found the basket of crappy acrylic paint bottles....I wanted to paint cloth and make cards again.....send them to people...perhaps for Easter.  I have two weeks and only one if I take into account Postal delivery rates (slow).  I looked everywhere and then went and looked everywhere a second time....Now they will go into the Art Supply Hall Closet...as soon as I can fit them into that closet. Sigh  I was not interested in spending more money on crappy acrylic paint.

I chose a box of lunch bag sized chip assortment.  Expensive but a tiny bagged chips is better than eating an entire large bag. something I have been known to do-- with Crunchy Cheese Things.

I did not watch the State of the Union address.  Or the chit chat after.  Recovering News Addict. I also did not vote in the Maine Primary.  

"the flogging will continue until morale improves"

Winter Notes- Thursday, March 7th. 40 degrees 89% humidity- Rained all night.

 Blues.   I hardly have any blue in the gardens....the soil I think, is too sweet.  I haven't had any blueberries in the fenced garden in several years.....the bushes age-out and need to be replaced regularly in order to produce berries.   I only needed a pint- for one batch of blueberry muffins.

And I don't even need that anymore. My grocery has locally picked berries...in season.

I think I slept well.  I am amazed that I am sleeping....but I have little to worry about. Isn't that something? After years- decades of not being able to fall asleep.......I just go to bed and wake up hours later- and it's morning.  Just like millions of regular humans.  And now...me.

I have returned to reading Jo Baker's Midnight News.  She also wrote Longbourne..the back stairs Pride and Prejudice of Jane Austin.  I bought the book....it's magnificent.  I will buy this one as well.  It's about the English Blitz- the WWII bombing.  And I have in the back of my memory another book I should buy...it will come to me- the title.  Before You Knew My Name.....I think that's the one.

So.  a bit chilly today.. Wet outdoors.  The side yard out back has filled with more rain water.  No ducks. They used to come and swim.  Years ago- I've lived here over 30 years......I think.  Son will do the math and correct me if I am wrong.  I did the math. 33 years. He was still in college.

"Embrace your inner and outer beauty, your accomplishments and failures"

I think embracing your failure is where the true work lies.....accepting and moving on. 

Daily Notes- Wednesday, March 6th. 44 degrees and 97% humidity. Cloudy.

 Reminds me of Working At the Greenhouses.

Spring Open Houses in my email box.  I recall all those days back when I worked......usually a workshop on something......the refreshments were always a treat...

I haven't had breakfast yet.....so this will be a short post...I'm hungry.

Son has showered etc and just reminded me to Eat My Breakfast.  

I don't really have much to write about today....I made a STRONG decision to NOT watch any of the Election Results....not one damned thing I can do about it so...why make myself crazy.  Let everyone else be crazy.  If I live long enough...there will be books written about this Time Period and explanations of why it all happened......but I doubt anyone will be able to explain it.

I might actually have to find a new name for the Washing Machine Pages notebooks....somewhere to write about how it feels to be alone...when I wasn't expecting to be alone. This soon.  I woke up this morning and remembered dreaming about college and going to class and painting.....perhaps that is something I can make happen...not college but the painting.  The I Am Not Doing A Damned Thing Notebooks.

Wake up the True You.

Daily Notes- Tuesday, March 5th 42 degrees 88% humidity.

 Postcard from Provence.

Dunkle today.  Meaning Dark.   No breeze either.  

I showered and used my Valentine Gift of Grapefruit Shampoo and Conditioner.  Wonderful stuff. My hair hasn't looked or felt this good in years?  fluffy, silky.....  really nice.  Thank you Connie.

I am baking a cake today.....yes, I can't believe it either.  Last thing I baked was the Peach Cobbler.  Which was really very very good.  That was a long time ago....it seems.... but perhaps less than a year? Spring?

I got lost watching ...Missing Persons- CSI?  On Charge channel.  I think it was from 2002.  I might have watched the series on CBS back in the day (22 years ago) but they seem new to me now.  Trying to identify a person from a hand or finger or whatever.......I can't say it's entertaining....but it takes up space in my day...until I can resemble myself again.

So Cake baking....Son made Magic Rice in his little Rice Cooking Machine that makes soft little beeps. He made extra for me.....I had hot dogs yesterday but will have rice today. With some of the vegetables in the "Massive Bag" in the freezer... Son's words.

When I grocery shop my intentions are to EAT.  But then I don't.  Then I just grab bread and cheese and eat that or have soup.  Or drink tea.  Today I took a shower, washed my hair hoping to restart myself.  I even have on one of my long ago favorite shirts...a faded red....I haven't worn in YEARS.... it didn't fit. It's loose. Now.

I also did a load of laundry.....seems odd not to do the Washing Machine Pages as the machine runs...all on it's own- unsupervised.  So many Life Style Changes in so Little Time.  On to Baking A Cake............

"Practice being open and fully present"

Winter Notes- Monday, March 4th. 48 degrees and 75% humidity.

 Postcard from Provence.

Well, dear Readers.....quite the day for Neighborhood News....the Twins and family will be leaving for Houston Texas.  And my cross the street neighbor (21 years) is packing for a move to a small apartment in the Summer.   Two houses on the street for sale soon.

The Times They Are a Changing.

My oatmeal is cooking in the microwave and my hot pot is heating water for my first coffee of the day. My Life is changing as I type........it's like something was set into motion and there is no stopping it....I just have to wait and see how it all comes out.

I am feeling quite...odd.

Winter Notes- Sunday March 3rd. Clouds. 49 degrees. 99% humidity. Dunkle.

 Victor Higgins.

The side yard has filled with rain water... like the days of old..... Next to the birdbath, in front, a slight dip in the grass is also filled with water.....the small birds are bathing......every so often they all lift into the air- 20 or more and swirl around and then drop to the grass again....like a dance of birds.

No Sun.

Son filled the porch bird feeders....they are out there eating and making mess on the porch.

I think we have too much food.  Or I am not eating enough on a regular basis?????  We don't sit down to eat a meal so that sort of screws things up.  But....I did eat my "massive" (son's opinion) bowl of oatmeal this morning and am finishing my coffee.   I took my daily morning pills.  Nothing much.  Vitamins.  One all purpose and one for Vision.  I also took a Dayquil.   My cough is all but gone...but the dry house air sometimes aggravates my breathing.  There is no phlegm.  Now.  So. things are improving.

Now I am aggravated by my hair.  I have a large number of bobby pins holding it down right now but pretty soon my hair will start escaping.....Slowly but Surely.... I could get it cut but right now I am wanting it a bit longer so I can gather it and forget it.  tidy.  It's anything but "tidy" right now. I look like a Mad Woman.  And my face still looks sad and tired....perhaps that is permanent??? I hope not.

"Be comfortable in your own skin, flaws, foibles, and all"

Winter Notes- Saturday, March 2nd. 41 degrees, damp and chilly.

 Good Morning....even though it's now past noon here in Maine.   Open Wheel Racing...and then some British Soccer (in the rain)....more soccer on right now  British?.  Maybe. Lutin.

I started a book yesterday.  Jo Baker..Midnight News.  I'm hooked.

Son filled the front porch bird feeders so there is a busy time out there.....I think the little guys were getting worried.

I am noticing an abundance of dust here on the desk....surfaces...I will need to do something about that ...now that I have noticed it.....it's been taken care of.  Son has suggested we hire a housekeeper. Floors and surfaces.  In March...when I was younger....I washed windows and changed the couch slipcovers on warm (50's) days. I stopped using the slipcovers years ago......

I stopped doing lots of things years ago.  Like regular cooked meals. Once that goes...very difficult to get back into it...I've found.  And in the "memory loss years", even holiday meals were not wanted. Or eaten. So things slipped away and I am finding it difficult to get back into regular cooking.  Son asked if I was making soup...not that he eats it...but I think he likes the idea of me eating it.

I've got a start on the new desk calendar...covered up the February days up on top of the March days. It's an odd calendar...carry over days onto of each new fresh page.

On my desk a list of Authentic Life Notes.   One: Failure is proof you took a risk.   I'll work on that.

Winter Notes (is Spring even a possibility?) 21 degrees. Sunshine.

 Victor Higgins.

A New Month.  March. Marching in.  I turned off the TV and read a book.  Cleansing.

Hot dogs for dinner with potato chips.  No lunch.  An orange.. later.  Tea.   Dark Chocolate.

My white hair continues to get messier and wilder.  It's not long enough to gather into a rubber band. So that in-between stage...Not short and not long.  And the curl is less that usual.  The curl usually takes up some of the length......there is a heaviness to it now.  

But then...there is this feeling or not feeling.  Being "other" with me right now....so the hair could just be one more thing that feels odd or foreign.

Transactional Immunity.  laughing...i have heard that on MSNBC.  These new words run thru my mind. Perhaps that's what my hair wants- Transactional Immunity. 

Grocery Shopping Day.  Son and I will disagree regarding oatmeal and toilet paper...  I do not think a third of a box of oatmeal or two rolls of toilet paper is ENOUGH for the coming week..  Yes, I did just buy that box of oatmeal.  and yes, Son says I eat a MASSIVE BOWL of it each morning....one cup dry mixed with water in the microwave each morning.......until summer when I eat Bran Flakes. And toilet paper.  sigh.

I am buying more squares of dark chocolate this week......