Sunday, March 07, 2010

Count Your Life by Smiles Not Tears

Still taking stock, looking around, wondering, resting. I am exhausted. Yesterday I gave two 90 minute lectures on Seed Starting. I was amazed that I spoke for 90 minutes. It seemed to fly by. I had large classes. In the morning all the seats were filled and people were standing in the back. The afternoon class was smaller and the "students" a bit sleepy. The outside temperature was near 50 degrees and the sun was shining. A glorious day. To be outdoors.

All that standing in one spot and talking made my lower back ache. And I had forgotten my Tylenol at home. It was a long day yesterday. But the customers were nice and I was happy to be working there. When I got home I started prep work for homemade pizzas. Made the pizza and watched a few TiVo'd cooking shows and then just closed my eyes and rested on the couch. I had wanted to read my book but my eyes were tired again.

I purchased a Brown Turkey Fig tree yesterday. And now realize the soil, in the container, smells of skunk. I either need to replace all the soil or return the stinky Fig to the store. I'm not sure replacing the soil will get rid of the smell. This is a really nice Fig and it has 20 little fig fruits growing. I have always wanted a fig tree (even though they aren't frost hardy here in Maine). G remembered me wanting one when we lived in our first purchased house in Florida.
We weren't there more than 9 months, so I never had a chance to buy and plant a fig tree. It would probably still be there now. Very tall, very old and covered in figs. I vaguely remember there being some saying about fig trees and the benefits of owning and planting one.

One of the reasons I am so tired, is that I am examining my life. Not exactly a"Five Year Plan" or a "List of 100 things I want to do before I die" but an examination of my life. Pretty simplified. We have a dog. Made a commitment to owning and caring for a dog. If I work 40 hours a week and G works 60, when exactly are we able to spend time with Riley? I know lots and lots of people work long hours and have dogs. Dogs who stay home all day, waiting. If this is the way it was here, Riley wouldn't have been purchased.

And yesterday, at the greenhouse, I looked around. Seeing everything in the light of saying goodbye. And I realized I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Simple. It's not the best job and I am paid too little but it's a job I still feel connected to and I am still happy to go into work. And people I care about, work with me, there.

And, since I never come close to working 40 hours a week, I have time to walk the dog, make art and cook a nice dinner every night. Life is good.

I am having a cup of leftover, reheated coffee this morning. And contemplating breakfast choices. Cold or hot cereal? :-) I also think I will be using a few of my Joann's coupons to buy more white felt, a new date stamper, and a magazine. Perhaps my daughter will want to "go shopping" today. It's possible. If not, I have my "good book" to read and the ever present Laundry&Ironing. Might have Chinese Lunch today. Riley thinks it's time to go out and check on the squirrels.

3 comments:

Diane N said...

Although I only know you through what you write in this blog, I think you have come to a wise decision. The other day when you wrote of mulling over the possibilities - this job versus the other job, etc..., I was silently hoping you wouldn't take it. From what I had read, it just didn't seem like it would suit you.

I'm glad that you have been able to sort through everything and come to a conclusion that you will be satisfied with. I especially look forward to reading your blog, hearing of your adventures with Riley, and seeing the art you have created.

Take care.

dee said...

Wise decision. I think you'll be so much happier this way. At this point we need more fun in our lives not less. Enjoy your day. It's very springy here today. I'm making the best of it.

Terry said...

It sounds like you are happy with your decision. FWIW, it is what I thought you would do. Sometimes a nice offer is just what we need to feel valuable, but also to help us appreciate what we already have. I like your post today. You sound content.