I want this plate of food... so much....
So last night....he was someone else....would not listen... was.... trying to climb over the rails- but too weak to actually manage. But I couldn't sleep if he did manage to slam into the hardwood floors head first. I am pretending to be awake. Typing this.
So I am running on empty.... Like fumes.......I have had coffee but no breakfast as yet. Oh damn- oatmeal is in the microwave- cold.....crap!!!
I spoon fed him a portion of one of my Noosa yogurts....raspberry but really light on the fruit puree portion. The yogurt is tasty....I always swipe the container with my finger at the end to get every bit of it.
I sat down like a responsible homeowner and wrote checks for the pile of bills.....daughter came, swept Acorns off the driveway and then off to pay her property taxes etc etc.....she also has something going on with her car tires....lug nuts? something....so she is seeing to that as well.
The rash that started in the corners of her eyes- is now a full mask effect and is on corners of her mouth and cheeks. She is wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Uni-bomber with a rash. Needs to do the FULL Elimination Diet thing....in case it's food....could also be stress...we got quite a lot of that going on here...or pollen? Or the air she breathes. But never the cats.....never.
Hospice meeting yesterday was like hitting a wall. I can hear the fat lady singing. Death. Now it's real. Close. How is that going to feel living alone? He did travel a lot...Left me behind a lot...so might be like that????? Or not like that at all.
I smell Man Pee--24/7. It gets in my nose and stays there...after changing the Depends. I asked my Amazon neighbor to order another pack of two pee pads (to go on the mattress under him- in case)....washable... In case he goes thru them faster than he is now...One on the hospital bed and one in the washer and one as backup.....I want 3 as backup. Always a Girl Scout- Prepared.
He's reading a magazine. In the hospital bed, In front of the big living room window. With Fall color outside. Sun is shining. Wish I could take a picture and send it to you. Looks peaceful
2 comments:
That is so hard for you! Mom went through that fighting to stay in bed, and I had to hold her legs down. I wonder if it was the morphine? and IT IS EXHAUSTING.
Are the hospice nurses coming to house for a couple of hours a day?
Be sure to notify the hospice nurse or case worker that your husband is becoming combative. They should be able to prescribe something to calm him down. Unfortunately, my mom and I went through this same thing when my father was dying. The hospice nurse prescribed ativan in liquid form to calm him. A couple drops soothed him and he was calmer.
Make sure you tell them because as this progresses you want to be sure YOU are safe and he doesn't hurt you.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Please take care.
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