Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Contemplating My SubConscious

The area next to my front door which leads people, who don't know me, to assume I am a Buddhist. She is an Indian Goddess of Plenty. Her headdress is complimented, this season, with feathers the crows have left on the front lawn.

While I am not a Buddhist, I do lean that way. This morning I was thinking about the internal war that is now raging between my mind and body over the "diet". My mind wants to eat less and become thinner. My body, which was submissive during most of the original 365 day diet in 2007 (stunned?), has now decided it won't participate this time. In fact, it has decided to wage all out war against the mind. It's as if two people are now arguing inside me, with a third, me, standing by and wanting them to stop. I can't explain it any better. I am not crazy (well, I could be actually) and am getting so tired of the daily struggle.

My body was telling me (this morning) that the first time around in 2007, I worked at the library 10 to 16 hours a week. Mostly 1 to 4 in the afternoon. I got up late, ate breakfast late, went to work, skipped lunch, and then had a nice, normal sized dinner. It all worked. Now, I am up early, go to work 6 hours with plenty of physical activity, eat lunch (because the "body" is hungry) and then suffer through a skimpy dinner. 1200 calories isn't much. And THEN, after doing all this, the body GAINS 5 pounds. My mind feels that it worked the first time, it should work again, this time. Not flexible. I am even having difficulty with the "no eating after 8 pm" rule which has never happened before. Yesterday I ate 6 Italian prune plums.

So, what worked so well in 2007 isn't working at all in 2010.

Riley's cut is so bad that it needed to be sutured in the first four hours. Now it is too late. We have to try and swish his foot in warm water several times a day and that should be pleasant. Have you ever tried to lift an 80 pound dog's foot off the ground when he didn't want it lifted???? It will take weeks for the paw to heal, so walks need to be on clean surfaces free of small stones and grit. Honestly, this is what the vet said. So I need to find a 3 mile area of swept Astroturf on which to walk Riley and it should have parking right up next to this area. And a warm water whirlpool foot bath for after the walk. Yes, indeed.

My book is at the library waiting for me. I will go get it before weeding the next area of the front gardens. An easier part near the driveway which just has weeds. Nothing overgrown and needing to be dug up and divided and then replanted. The laundry is finished and the shirts have been ironed.

Oatmeal for breakfast. It was good. But nothing to chew. I think the real issue with eating is the number of "chews" you have in a day. Not enough chewing and you aren't satisfied. Which is why late night snacking always involves something crunchy. Crackers, cookies or chips. I will now place my package of gum on the table next to the couch where I watch television. And chew my way through the evening. White Collar and Covert Affairs continue to disappoint. Did they really kill Moz?

Well, the day is nearly half over and I haven't got much to show for it so far. Gotta go...........


be*mused jan said...

What a perfect description of the diet situation. I have been struggling with a winter gain of a mere 6 lbs but its relative small amount (in the big scheme of things) cannot compare to the magnitude frustration that comes with the daily struggle to shed it.
So tiring...for the three of us.

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