Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Daily Notes- August 20


This has been on the blog before. I was cutting strips off of large sheets to make squares.  They piled up on the table and I liked how they looked.  Still do. The light and dark.  Even though its all the same color.  Riley is finally leaving my side.  The garage door just opened.  G is back home from seeing his heart doctor.  A "hello/how are you visit".  G reports he doesn't need to come back. That's interesting.

I don't have this golden paper or the strips any more.  It would have been fun to see how they would change with Time and with the different ways they could tangle with each other.

Only two tomatoes out of about 100 out there on the vines is changing color-from green to red.  It's 20 days into August.  Time seems to be running out for ripe tomatoes. And it's been hotter than usual here in Maine.  Seems odd.  The tomatoes on the vines are getting larger day by day.  I don't ever remember anything like this happening in any of my almost 45 years of gardening. I was going to say 50 but the years in Georgia I only had one garden and well, the tomatoes I grew were enormous and delicious.  Then I moved to Florida. No need to grow tomatoes when there was a pickup truck at the end of the road full of tomatoes (and everything else) every day.  Cash only.  Deb do they still do that?

I do have two tomatoes in the vestibule ripening.  We can probably eat them today.

I am in a strange mood these days.  Very strange.  G thinks I need to be "medicated".  He might be right.  A nice tranquilizer or two.  I've been thinking a nice gin and tonic with lots of lime would do the trick. But I come from alcoholic genetic stock.  I always worry about drinking.  Using it.  If you know what I mean.  Using it to change the way you feel or think.  That's a problem.

Our banker has lost a lot of weight this year.  I almost didn't recognize her at the cocktail party (where I didn't have my usual one drink).  She said she had lost her brother to alcoholism and realized she was using food as her drug of choice.  My family is into alcoholism.  Or drugs. My deceased younger  brother used both.  A Lot.  So it was of interest to me that I could be using food the way my brother, father and grandfather (and 100% of his cousins) used drink and/or drugs.  To make myself feel better. This is pretty heavy thinking.  So I may not just have a "tendency to be fat" I may be self medicating with food.  I have no idea where to start looking for help.

1 comment:

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

if you really feel, inside Your Self, you need "help"...then go for it. Help only helps and you can't go wrong to get another Point of View. But, knowing only what i know from what you tell, i think you are just being honest about a period of time in your life when things are not "on the Sunny Side". I was hearing that song, Walk on the Sunny Side...from that movie, Oh Brother Where Art Thou
I went to Utube to listen. Yup.
about your pleasure in cooking....in food....i always enjoy reading what you have fed yourself that day, while also feeding your man, often something different, then feeding the dog.
If the man cooked for you and was responsible for dog care, he might have something to say, to weigh in.
but you are the care giver of the Family. And that responsibility weighs heavy.
When caregiving, often it's necessary to deliberately look for and find some joy.
So anyway, unless there is a lot that you leave out from these posts (which i doubt), i think you are GREAT. All the way around. I like what you cook. I like what you muddle over with your urge to create. I like how you care for your home and family. I like you. in general.
and i send you Big Love