Daily Notes- August 14th

If the work is hard, you are struggling to go beyond what you know how to do.  Habit is more powerful than will (or lack of will).

That's what it feels like here.  Struggling to go beyond what I know how to do with Riley.  It's hard. I dissolve into tears every day.  He is happiest in the early morning. Barking and running around.  Eyes all shiny and alert.  All that dims and fades as the day goes on.  The only bright spots--when he gets more pills.  He knows when they wear off.  Wants the next dose. Not pain meds.  Amoxicillin and a tranquilizer.  He decided to eat at 11pm so could not have his two large liver pills.  G forgot to pick up the food bowl at 9pm. Another thing for me to take over-remembering-- the 9pm bowl pickup. Or another alert to put on G's phone.  The phone remembers for him.

Anyway.  I spend large blocks of the day watching Law and Order with the dog.  He has always liked it.  Talking. Lots of talking. No sudden noises-well sometimes the judge bangs the gavel.  Yesterday no Law and Order. Not even Criminal Intent- I like that one.  So we both were out of sorts. Today I checked the tv listing in the morning paper--Law and Order.

G made wooden supports for the heavy branches on the Peach trees.  Some had bent so much the tips were on the ground.  Another week and we'll have some ripe and soft enough to eat. And then we'll have armloads of them.  None. A Few. Too Many.  The peaches are small. But very pretty.  Yellow with the softest red blushes.

I am seriously thinking of painting.  Just little sketches.  But brushes and paints and just playing around.  Mixing colors.  Filling squares with the colors I make.  Perhaps a progression of one or two colors.  Light to dark or the reverse.  Practicing holding the brush.  "There is art in all work"

Hand sewing has become difficult.  My eyes are dry/tired and it's hard to focus on the small stitches.