Sea Holly, "Blue Glitter"

I had been watching this plant develop since we first set the pots out in the Spring.  Now, they are tall (18 inches or so and topped with all these spiky, thistle like ovals.  This particular plant is on the sunporch, waiting to be moved to the garden for G's enjoyment.  I bring home the strange and different for G to watch over.  Today looks to be humid, perhaps with rain.  Lots of mosquitos.  A good day to stay inside and read.

I am making rhubarb sauce.  It's allowed on Atkins.  Well, rhubarb is.  And I have mixed it with half a cup of Splenda for baking and water.  I threw in a couple handfuls of frozen strawberries.  Now it needs to reduce to a thickened sauce which I can have with whipped cream as a dessert.  I enjoy the rhubarb sauce more than the sugar free jello that other Atkins dieters have each day.  They mix their jello with cream cheese or sour cream.  That doesn't sound good to me.

Yesterday I was hungry at work.  I have to think about why I got hungry.  Either I am not eating enough fat with my proteins or I didn't have enough breakfast.  When you get all the proportions right--you are never really hungry until just before a meal.  Breakfast is such a difficult meal for me.  Today I actually had time to fry bacon, make two eggs and microwave a MIM.  It was a very good breakfast.  The MIM was actually very good.

A MIM is a mixture of 1/4 cup Flax meal, 1 egg, 1 t butter, Splenda packet, cinnamon and 1/2 t baking powder.  I made it in a flat 4 inch bowl.  One and a half minutes on my microwave. turn it out of the bowl immediately and let it rest for a few minutes to a few hours. I slice this flat cake in half to resemble two slices of bread.  It can be toasted or used to make a sandwich, French toast or a grilled cheese sandwich.  All are allowed. There is even a Flax pancake (PIM). Only one MIM a day as the Flax powder can cause intestinal distress but I sort of look forward to that.

Some Atkins MIM bakers let the wet mix sit for 10 to 30 minutes before microwaving which increases the size of the finished product.  I haven't tried that yet.  The MIM's I have made with cocoa powder have been bitter.  I purchased golden flax meal at the health food store because it is supposed to make a more "cake-like" MIM but I am still using the brown flax meal. Why have two packages open?  I watched a video where they made a huge bulky roll sized MIM for sandwiches but I didn't write the recipe down.  Kicking myself.

The water drinking is going well. I wear my wedding ring these days so I know when I am retaining water.  Today I can take the ring off with minimal tugging.  When the ring is stuck, I fill up the water jar.

G is going to install the window AC unit.  It seems like we just took it out of the window.  Time Flies.

I moved all the furniture in the dining room.  All my collage clutter.  Cleaned out the book cases on that side of the room, tossing books into the book donation pile.  G helped me move the table and the rug under it, closer to the wall which opens up a great deal of floor space.  The table was completely bare when I finished and now has assorted little items all over it.  Plants, lamp, G's stuff. UGH.

We need to buy four new (or used) chairs to fill up the table.  Not that they will ever be used, but it will "look" nice.  Furniture shopping used to be a favorite activity of mine.  Used to be.  Now, I try and get rid of furniture more often than I buy any.  I remember when this house was way too big and we didn't have nearly enough furniture.  Now, it seems too crowded.  Even claustrophobic at times.

I have laundry to fold and and shirts to iron and I want to finish the gray 12 by 12.  I also want to create some freezer paper templates for elongated leaves for the French "circle in a square" blocks. Need to find my compass.  Some hand work for summer evenings.   Still working only three days.  So, plenty of time for "projects" and it would be nice to get back to daily Pilates.  I have slipped out of that routine.  I don't know how it happened. I think it was caused by all this Atkins Breakfast stress.  Before, I would have a banana, do my Pilates and then have a bowl of cereal.  There's no "banana" these days.

Saturday: Exhausted

I thought I would have a picture for you but forgot I had the camera at work with me.  And what would I have taken a picture of?  The heat?  Watering the greenhouse?  Being hot?  Being bored to death?  Waiting for the hands on the clock to move so I could finally EAT my lunch?  When it was lunchtime, I had three repots in a row--like jumbo jets waiting for take off, after hours of nothing.  Lunch actually was eaten at 1 pm.

The baskets I planted up to "sell" on Thursday: sold.  Really, I was thrilled.  The ones that sold were the $49 ones and they had a very French feel to them.  So, I got to make more today.  Slim pickings in the plant materials so they weren't as gorgeous as usual.  Creative? Yes, there is nothing like limited supplies to make one see things in a new light.  I planted a larger basket @ $59 and can't wait until Tuesday to see if it is gone.  The smaller $39 ones just are too small.  But I pulled a few things out and added some new stuff to make them more enchanting.

One of the Jumbo Jets that kept me from my lunch was a phone order from Scotland.  A $100 pot of bright flowers for Mum's birthday.  And could there be daisies?  And could we deliver right now?  I did Highland White Dream Shasta Daisies, magenta geraniums and blue Veronica "Candles".  Sounds like a birthday to me.  A Scottish one at that.  The pot was the same wide, flat one I used on Thursday to make that other lovely birthday gift.  The daylilies, lupine and pansies.

G just rolled in.  He had two call outs on a holiday weekend at work and they got hammered.  He is more exhausted than I am, sort of.  He works in air conditioning.  But to even things; he had lots of customers and we did not.  Busy is better than bored.

Riley ate his lunch with his dinner tonight.  Then asked for "more".  Which I was happy to serve up (as he has not been eating his food).  I gave him the half cup he was "short" and he went right over to the bowl and finished it off.  How weird is that?   That I knew what he wanted and that he knew he was short a half cup.  It's stranger than fiction around here.  

G is having my donut.  A customer brought them into work as a treat for all of us.  I think he got them "fresh out of the fryer" from the Carnival that's in Town for the Fourth.  You know how I feel about donuts.  I had them wrap "my" donut in a paper bag and brought it home for G.  He's making a cup of coffee to go with the donut.  It was "excellent".

I am having a fourth of a bar of sugar free chocolate.  One digestible gram of carb.  11 grams of Malitol which is a sugar alcohol which can cause diarrhea but doesn't affect glucose levels.  Ever so delicious sounding isn't it?  But sweet.  And I haven't had anything this sweet in 3 going on 4 weeks.

Friday Morning Fat Cells

I woke up with Riley at 6:30 this morning and he enthusiastically ate his breakfast.  What a good dog.  Then he did "business" outside and on his re-entry into the house, took a one hour nap.  Waking up must be tiring for a dog.

Now he and G are out doing chores around the garage.  I spent an hour shredding the items from the Safe Deposit Box and then the Bill Box which G was in charge of filing (not).  2009 and 2010 are now ready for the compost pile.  2008 and all my dad's things are next up after the shredder cools down. G obviously never filed anything.

I was busy reading Diet Forums again.  I think Fat Cells are pretty intelligent.  Or just into Survival.  Did you know that once you create a Fat Cell, it never goes away?  I think this is why people who never put on extra weight, have an easier time staying thin.  No empty fat cells looking for FAT.

When we diet the fat cells (on our butt, as an example) empty.  We loose pounds of fat (if dieting correctly) and the cells deflate.  When we stop dieting and start eating carbs again (candy, sugar, ice cream, cake, bread, pasta, rice), the first place any EXTRA goes is into "Fat Production and Fat Storage" in those depleted cells.  Which is why when I put on the 30 pounds, I regained, in only one spot.  My butt and thigh saddlebags.  And which is why, with the Atkins, I am taking INCHES off my butt and saddlebags. Fat Cell Depletion.

Each time you diet and regain the weight, the Fat Cells get "smarter" and more stubborn and the refuse to let go of the fat.  The Fat Cells "know" you'll give up eventually, so they wait you out.  And when you do give in and go back to eating like usual, they decide to invest in some "Insurance Fat Cells" so they increase their volume, for the next diet.  Yo Yo Dieting is just Boot Camp for Fat Cells.

My Fat Cells are putting up a really good defense right now.  They are building barricades, digging trenches, sandbagging and doing whatever they can to retain the fat they have stored in my butt cells.  I am responding with 12 glasses of liquids and flooding the cells, attempting to Flush some excess fat out of the cells. Sort of like the Mississippi River.  It's War.

I feel much better about this battle now that I fully understand what is happening on the battlefront.  Or the battle-rear, in my case.  The trick will be to keep these, soon to be empty, Fat Cells, empty from now on.  The only way to actually reduce the number of Fat Cells is liposuction.  They suck the cells out and you have less of them.  But I bet the ones they don't suck out are really pissed off.

Roses From My Garden

G cut roses for me before he went to work today.  What a delightful sight when I walked into the house this evening.  I finally figured out the Portrait setting on the camera and the flowers came out nice and clear, even in twilight.  All sorts of pink roses and my favorite yellow.

Today at work I potted up a large, flat pot with pink lupine and yellow daylilies (the Stellas). There was a pink Gaura in the middle and I added a few pink and yellow pansies for an understory.  For a funeral.  I found just enough sheet moss to cover the soil.  Lots of ooh's and ah's as the pot was brought up front to the cash registers.  And later my boss asked me to "do up" a few more baskets "for sale".

A good day at work.  It was supposed to be hot, but there was a breeze and some cloud cover.

I lost FIVE pounds overnight.  Really.  All the water drinking must be working to flush fat out of my body. I wonder how much I will weigh tomorrow???  ROFLOL This is a semi-regular event.  Lose weight (on scale) and do happy dance and next day gain it all back plus more.  But when I do loose weight it always is lower than the last time.  This time it was a full pound less than the last "recorded loss".  And to be fair, if I subtract this morning's number from the starting number, it's a 13 pound difference (or more--I actually was heavier this Spring than the starting weight).  Which is about a 2 pound per week average.  Exactly like the 365 Day 1200 calories a day diet I did in 2007.  Only this time I am not always wanting to eat something and cheating every few days.  Instead of wanting to cheat, I put the "wrong" food items down the disposal.  It was the disposal or my hips.  I made the right choice.

The floor in front of the fridge is dry.  The repair to the water tubing must be working.  The ice cubes are still not completely solid but the ice maker IS 20 years old.  Can't expect perfection. We are just pleased to still be getting some ice.

Riley is sitting by the front door watching the street.  We have a glass storm door than goes almost to the floor, so he has a very good view while reclining.  Riley finally ate something when I got home from work.  His breakfast plus an additional cup of food.  I sprinkled the food with a tiny bit of water and shook the little biscuits around a bit and he came over and started eating.  Licked the bowl clean.  He actually prefers to eat tree limbs and is more than likely full of wood chips. I don't understand dogs.

I had my glasses adjusted this morning after we went to the bank and got me included on the safety deposit box.  Some crazy stuff in that box.  I brought some of it home to shred.  I plan to do some gardening tomorrow unless G wants to do something "special" together on our joint day off.  We'll see.

Thursday, June 30

No picture.  Yesterday was a 50% success.  A friend called at 9 am asking if I would color her hair after she worked out at the gym.  I said yes.  Then set to cutting up the pot roast I bought on Monday (marked down for quick sale) and turning it into Induction Chili with a few additions to make it more like Longhorn Chili (I didn't succeed).  It's fine, packed in serving sizes and in the freezer, but not the "taste" I was looking for.

The hair coloring went well and while the color processed I made a luncheon salad for the two of us.  We chatted and I began slicing vegetables for a summer squash Mexican casserole.  I made it, baked it and then shoved it down the disposal.  It was delicious, but too many carbs.  Not worth the stress of having as a temptation.  I also added the roasted beets to the compost bucket.  It's best not to have things in the fridge that I shouldn't be eating.

I did manage to clean off the stove countertops, empty and wash the silverware drawer, do laundry, make the bed, water the deck plants, wash and dry the cooking pots and pans, empty the dishwasher.

My new lenses are a bit off and I am having problems with reading and watching television.  Rubbing my eyes which is NEVER a good thing as I have some sort of "bumpy lining" in my eyes and the rubbing makes it ever so much worse. So no reading yesterday and I just got the new Wallander from the library.

We did purchase a wrist wrap and I wore it all evening on Tuesday.  Woke up yesterday morning with no pain.  I don't plan to lift anything heavy at work today.

G had a very long, hard day at work yesterday (his 49 year old helper went home early feeling "sick") and then G had the added "amusement" of the ice maker hose leaking again. (If your ice cubes are only shells of ice, you have a clog or a leak) Water all over.  He had to "make" a new hose.  The good part of this was that the refrigerator ice maker works just like the equipment at McD's so he felt very comfortable doing the repairs and he had plenty of spare hose and connectors in the workshop. I was sitting next to him and reading comments on an Atkins blog.  Handing him tools.

I am drinking lots and lots of water.  So much water that I feel bilious.

G and I have to go to the bank and change the safe deposit card to say I "am allowed" to look inside and retrieve our daughter's birth certificate so she can renew her driver's license.  It didn't matter that I have always had my own key to the box.  So that's what we will be doing this morning before I go to work.

It's hot already and it will be terrible at work.  I already feel sick to my stomach.  Heat makes me ill.  I have eaten some breakfast and plan to take two quarts of sweet (fake) tea with me to work.  I have some lunch packed and will make a MIM to take in case I need a snack.   11:30 to 6 today.   Why didn't I retire?

Mary, A David Austin Rose

I love the English roses.  This one especially.  It was always named Mary, perhaps after a Queen?  Who knows.  But this is the rose I use when making a bouquet.  I usually add Lady's Mantle for the green and catmint for the blue.  And if the yarrow is in flower at the time, I add it for the yellow.  My favorite color combination for the garden.  Pink, blue, chartreuse and yellow. All purpose for hospital visits, new neighbors and birthday gifts.

It was hot at work today.  And I was retaining water.  So my energy was being double teamed and I was tired, as was every other employee.  Not many customers, so more "cleaning".  We were all hoping her would send us home early.  I was miffed to see that no one had refilled the potting soil container.  I seem to be the only person who "knows" how to put dry soilless mix in the container and add water.

Our schedules now have us coming in at 7:30.  I left the house at 7, dropped the dog off at daycare and still was the first one to get to work.  That meant trying to remember the security code to shut off the alarm.  Third time worked.  Of course, having the police arrive and call the boss to say the alarm was going off would have ensured I never was asked to show up at 7:30 again.  I also had to open the safe. I felt so "important".  LOL

I also injured my right wrist while trying to pick up a surprisingly heavy daylily for a landscaper.  G took me to the drugstore to buy a wrist wrap to keep my wrist unbent.  It feels better and I am reminded not to use it for lifting, opening doors, or anything else.  G wants me to file a workman's comp report in case it's really something that will need medical attention.  I did this once before and it was a nerve thing and my thumb went numb on and off.  My doctor said the numbness would move up along the entire length of the nerve before it was gone.  And it did.  All the way into my neck.  Months later.

We are having leftover lasagna again.  It's pretty salty and not the best thing for me to be eating.  That's all I have to write about today.  Hope tomorrow is more interesting.

I Almost Gave Up

On this little Gloxinia.  I brought the pot and two leaves home, at some point when we were selling them. A long time ago. The books all said it was "easy" to start a new plant from a leaf.  I was just about to throw the pot away, an experiment that didn't work. G was the first to notice a leaf the size of a baby mouse's ear.  Look at it now. Still pretty small but it actually LOOKS like a Gloxinia. I had used whole leaves and the one that sprouted had gotten broken at some point.  So, if you try this, cut the leaf like the one on the left from the beginning.  I am hoping this is the leaf from the purple and white Gloxinia.  Very pretty.

I haven't given up on the Atkins diet, either.  I "weighed" the pros and cons and decided that I like not having cravings for food.  I like not wanting a snack 24/7.  I like having my clothes fit.  I like feeling good. I don't think I have mentioned that I feel good while on this diet.  I feel happier.  Perhaps it's an anti depressant?

I came away from a couple of close encounters with South Beach advocates reassured that I was on the right diet.  SB uses "diet" foods like non fat, low fat, sugar free.  I have never liked that stuff and the carb count is always higher on the low fat, non fat varieties, which always makes me hungry after eating them.  I have to use sugar free on Atkins.  I don't like it, but it's one of the trade offs I had to make.

I am trying to drink more water. I am retaining water and can't get my wedding ring on or off my finger easily. It had been too loose to wear for awhile there, but now it's too tight.  96 ounces (12 - 8 ounce glasses) every day.  Not all water.  Just 12 glasses of some liquid.  Today I had 8 ounces of unsweetened soy milk with my breakfast.  I also had 1/2 cup of Fiber One.

Lunch was a slice of Swiss and a HB egg. Not the best lunch and I am very hungry right now. This is what usually happens when I eat too many carbs.  I am having my homemade eggplant lasagna (no noodles) with some leftover squash.  G is having regular lasagna and two dinner rolls.  I could also make myself a small salad.  Dessert is strawberries and heavy cream.  Tomorrow is 21 days counting carbs.

Time to eat.  And read.  We worked in the garden today and I got everything I have purchased in the past few weeks into the ground or window boxes.  The deck is getting cleared off.  Laundry is done.  A good day.

Not Mine

"Rapt in Reverie" by Alison Goodwin.  Oil pastel on acrylic on paper.  23 by 23.  Greenhut Galleries, ME.

This art work is on the cover of the Bowdoin International Music Festival booklet.  I saw it when G and I went out to dinner one night on our Staycation.  He thought it was something I had made.  I thought it was definitely something I could have made.  The circles.  The black at the bottom with the little points.  Not so much in the multitude of little green "leaf" dots at the top.  The colors are ones I use all the time.  Fascinating, no?

I don't know what is going on in my "snowflake" (each one is unique) body but I'll take it.  I slept until 11 this morning.  I am wearing size 14 jeans (go figure, huh?).  I did drink a quart of extra liquids yesterday (which had an interesting laxative effect) and intend to do the same thing today.  I managed my food poorly yesterday.  Not that I overate--it's just that I ate things that didn't satisfy my idea of a "meal".  Scattered, piecemeal.  Strawberries.  Two steamed artichokes with butter.  Cheese rolled up with cold sliced roast beef (ugh! disgusting!!!) and covered in horseradish sauce because it was so disgusting and I couldn't eat it plain.  And the half a jar of tea.  Then coffee.

This morning: my new favorite way to eat egg beaters.  Onion, sliced deli ham, spinach, 1 oz grated cheddar and eggs.  Fried into a pancake sort of affair and then turned over to crisp up that side also.  My coffee has cream and one eighth of a teaspoon of Splenda.  I'm just going to have to get used to that taste.  I like my coffee sweeter.

It's cold today and raining.  My new lenses are in and I should call and see if they can insert them into my frames today.  It will take about an hour and I will be without glasses for that hour.  What will I do?  I can wear my old glasses, like I am right now, as a test.  Wow.  Like being sea sick.  Wow.  I think I will call and see if I can get the lenses exchanged while I go down the street and browse the Health Food store looking for strange, new sweeteners, flours (soy, almond), and sugar free things.  Chocolate would be nice. Let's hope I don't throw up.  It's disturbing to see how much my vision has deteriorated in just 15 months.

I noticed my level of ability at the book sale set up had slowed some also in the past year.  I usually was finished with my tasks before 2 pm leaving me time to do other things.  I was "just" done at the closing bell of 4:30.  No time for any extra tasks at all.  This might be a good indicator of why my full time status at work was so exhausting this year.  I am going to be 65 in September.  I have to learn to pace myself more efficiently.  Not that I ever want a job that involves sitting at a desk all day (though I do spend quite a bit of time here, sitting and typing) but I think standing all day, lifting heavy objects, and bending over low display tables to water or straighten plants is more strenuous than it was 4 years ago when I began.

As to becoming 65:  Any advice on the whole "Choose Your Medicare" thing?

Did You Miss Me?

Lordy, what a few days I have had.  Work.  Library Book Sale Set Up.  Work.  But, on the way home today, the Strawberry Flag was still out and the Strawberry Ladies had "just" one box of fresh picked Maine berries left and it was mine!!!  I intend to buy a box every day that the flag is out.  I always say I will, and then forget.  Not this year.

I worked (as a volunteer) from 7:30 to 4:30 yesterday, lifting 187 boxes of books off the floor and unloading them onto tables, loading boxes on a cart for two women, answering questions (making so many decisions) and reprimanding the help.  Do it my way.  Period.  I had a hard boiled egg, a few radishes and a chocolate MIM with a Thermos of coffee all day.  I gained a pound.  I still am doing Induction.  I now weigh what I did before I even started the Atkins Diet.  Well, actually, I weigh one pound more than what I weighed before I started.  I wonder about the futility of all this. Today my pants didn't seem to even fit looser.  My horoscope for the day said not to dwell on things that haven't gone as planned. How true.  My bra was very loose.

It rained all day today and my work sweatshirt wasn't in my car or my locker, so I was cold all day and it's supposed to be 50 or less overnight.  Short summer we had last week.  I spent my day at (real) work picking dead leaves and dried up flowers off of the fuchsias.  Yes, I did that all day, having water pour down on my clothes (overwatered pots), when I wasn't answering questions about insects and plant diseases.  My lunch was a cold salad of Romaine, Feta cheese, 5 Greek olives and ranch dressing and the window in the lunch room was open so I could have a cold draft chilling me even more.  I'm working on finishing off the quart of sugar free iced tea I took to work.  And then I will drink a second quart of plain water.  I am trying to drink more liquids.

I found a used copy of the Atkins book I have been borrowing from the library plus a cookbook and an Atkins For Life book.  If I ever get to "Life" there is occasional cereal (Fiber One) with soy milk and yogurt with fruit.  There was only ONE of each Atkins book in the entire book sale.  How's that for Karma?

I'm going to take a shower now.  And read.  And put on wool socks.  And a sweater.  Hey, it's a fantastic SUMMER here in Maine.  My Cool Whip has high fructose corn syrup in it.  So I guess I shouldn't be eating it even with a carb count of 2 for the 2 T I was going to have on my strawberries. Rats.  I'll whip some unsweetened heavy cream instead.

News Bulletin: Riley Gets Skunked!!

It wasn't a complete skunking but Riley smelled bad.  Now that he's been shampooed, only his nose smells. G went behind the shed and found two holes going under the shed.  An entrance and exit.  And it smells nice and skunky. So that will be something we need to take care of before we let Riley out into the back yard. Again.

No amount of good groundskeeping goes unpunished.  We clear the trees from around the shed and find a skunk.  Or skunks.  G lived his whole life in the country and says each of his dogs got skunked at least once.  Hopefully, Riley will learn a lesson.  He's really "miss-ish" about a lot of things and I hope the shed is now one of those "I don't go there" items on his list of things to stay away from.  We can hope.

Now, the fun of finding a way to get rid of the skunk or skunks.  We decided we do NOT want to live trap the little stinker.  Definitely don't want to do that.

I have to change clothes.  Feeling stinky.

June Roses And Atkins Issues

I usually get one nice crop of roses before the Japanese Beetles arrive and chew everything to bits. G brought this one in yesterday for the Father's Day Table.   We (Sam came for dinner) had grilled cheeseburgers with bacon, grilled onion, tomato, lettuce, pickles, mayo yesterday.   Very delicious.  Then G and Sam had ice cream and Riley and I chilled in the backseat of the car enjoying the summer breezes. Later, at home, I had some rhubarb sauce and Cool Whip.  3.7 net carbs.

This morning I felt fine, but now, the two HB eggs I had for breakfast don't seem to be doing good things to my system.  It feels like low blood pressure or low blood sugar.  Dizzy.  I have a MIM in the micro and hope that eating it (with cream cheese) helps.  I had planned to do a number of chores today before returning to work tomorrow.  I really can't walk the dog or go grocery shopping if I think I may faint.  I get this way pretty often in the summer when it's hot and muggy outside.  Even on regular food.  I have even blogged of worrying if I would pass out while walking the dog in past summers.  I just don't do well in hot weather.

Riley is trying very hard to be patient.  He also is not doing very well on this hot sunny day.  We have much more sun in the backyard now so it's hard for him to find a shady spot.

One of my Readers is also at the same point in Atkins as I am and it was very nice to get an email from her.  We have some of the same problems and hope we can be supportive of each other as we work our way thru the Phases.  I am thinking about moving into Phase 2.  Out of Induction. (four weeks and I have NOT lost a single pound but my clothes all fit better) Not a big step away but one that can add fresh cheeses or berries to what I have been eating.  I get to choose which step of the carb ladder to try first.  More Salad or Nuts or Berries or Dairy  My son says each of us is unique (like snowflakes) and one diet isn't going to be perfect for everyone.  So, some tweaking is necessary.

I admit to having Fiber One cereal with soy milk yesterday.  I was feeling very "relieved" a few hours later. LOL I am not getting enough fiber in my diet and will just have to adapt the food choices as best I can to continue to be regular.  This is my most serious problem with Atkins, so far.  I also need to start making more normal meals for myself.  Meat and salad is nice, but I really would like something that looks and feels like a regular dinner.

I really have been reluctant to resume regular meal preparation.  Even though most meat preparations are perfectly fine with Atkins.  I would just need to skip any sauces or the starches served alongside.

1. roast pork or sausages with fried sauerkraut (mashed potatoes or potato dumplings for G)
2. fried chicken, fried yellow summer squash, tomatoes (rice for G)
3. meatballs and marinara sauce (pasta for G)
4. Fried chicken with mixed greens and vinaigrette
5. pizza.  I know G wants this but there is no alternative for me.  My son said this was the hardest thing for him to reintroduce into his diet after Atkins.  He really has to plan for it.  The Atkins Forum had a "crust" made from melted, browned cheese.  12 ounces.  Then you add toppings.  I may try it.
6. lasagna.  One for G with noodles and one for me with slices of zucchini standing in for the noodles.

I'm looking for "TASTE".  For something that is familiar but still legal.  Wish me luck.  The Flax Muffin seems to have leveled off the sensors in my system.  I am going to try a few chores here at home before going out to the grocery or dog walk.  Just to make sure.  I have shirts to iron, dishwasher to unload, and a couch slipcover to wrangle over a couch.  Lunch will be tuna and mayo and a big salad.

Happiness Is....

Bright golden Coreopsis on the back deck.  The Tree Guys grinding down the stumps in the yard.  Even old stumps.  The Tree Loader playing "throw the stick" with Riley out in the back yard.  Working only three days next week.  Getting my haircut on Tuesday.  Having Rhubarb Sauce with Cool Whip in the evening as a once a week treat for having survived another day of dieting, even though I gained 3 pounds overnight.

I survive the diet by trying on clothes in the "Does Not Fit" box in the closet.  All the Spring and Summer work pants from a few months ago (remember they were all too tight) are now just fine and even a bit baggy in the rear/hip sections. I zipped the size 14 jeans this morning and could do deep knee bends and pick things up off the floor.  Only one pair of cotton capris that are too snug and they will now be my "Test Pants" for the coming weeks.

I also chart my progress by the clothes I purchased the summer of the 365 Diet in 2007 when I lost 80 pounds.  I am now wearing August of 2007.  The clothing I purchased then, now fits as it did then.  The next challenge will be Fall of 2007 (the size 10 dotted dress and the skirts) and then Spring of 2008 when I reached my lowest weight.  The blazer.  Buttoned. And the size 12 jeans.  They are the only things I have from that time.  Everything else was donated to Goodwill.  I never thought I would be able to return to that size.

Wouldn't it be amusing if all these things fit and I still haven't lost any weight on the scale?

I was telling Dee this morning, that my "Test Pants" had been a green corduroy pair of pants (I had re-gained weight by this time) that I wore the weekend we drove to Ohio and my Dad died. My dad was always sort of disgusted with me for having gained so much weight.  He didn't like heavy women.  He was so happy when I lost weight in 2007 and kept pictures of me on the wall near his chair.  I wore those "test pants" and looked thin on the last night of his life.  He thought I was beautiful.  I was so happy that was his last vision of me.  The pants fit this morning.  I had a good cry.  The karma isn't lost on me.  I finally finished the very last bit of his estate this month.  The bank sent my daughter a check and all accounts are closed.  And the pants fit.  October of 2008.  Now, I just have to return to March 2008 and stay there.  The Blazer.

G has gone to our daughter's house to take the rest of the cut lilac branches to the town recycling center. He spent most of yesterday there thinning out the bushes, cutting down trees and clearing up messy areas. He filled the truck yesterday but had another full load for today.  Sam helped him load this morning and borrowed our mower to do her grass cutting.  Riley is spending the day with me again.  And barking at the workers.

I have things to do but I am feeling sleepy and lazy.  It's almost Summer.

Friday & I'm Tired Of Everything

 This is the "new" view from the driveway with the former tree stumps in the lower left foreground, the dog in the upper left and my garden in the background.  Five pine trees would have been in the picture on Monday.  Now, they are being chopped into two foot chunks and loaded into a wheelbarrow.  They were, but suddenly there are no workers here.  Everyone is gone.  And I just noticed that I did a better job raking the wood chips off the lawn than they did.  No going barefoot in the back grass until I rake.

You deserve a pretty picture after suffering through all these tree pictures.  My Weigelia is blooming for the last time.  It's the pink stuff.  The blue stuff is Lupine.  These plants are in the bed behind the garage. My choices: to cut the weigelia back very hard (like to 12 to 15 inches from the earth (it's now over 6 feet) or have G try and pull the plants out with the Jeep and a heavy chain.  This garden is over grown.  Unsightly.  A haven for mice and ants.  The dog has dug some very nice "cooling" pits all around the roots of one weigelia.

Back on the diet today.  Yesterday is just going to go down as a huge mistake.  We all have days like that.  I just have to forgive myself and move forward.  It's not like I ate things that were totally wrong all day.  Yes, the cereal was a mistake.  And the chicken at lunch did have breading on it but I skipped the bread and had salad and no fries.  And I didn't need the no sugar, no fat fudge bar at DQ.  Eating all these carb things made me very hungry at about 8 pm (no dinner) so I had some meat and cheese.  See, I haven't been hungry.  But when I ate the carbs--wow, it started coming back.  The wanting to eat more because the food I was eating didn't satisfy me.  Didn't fill me up.  Lesson learned.

I am getting VERY bored with the food I am eating and need to find a few more things to add to the menu.  I have hard boiled eggs this week and the Longhorn chili.  The avocados I bought are finally getting soft enough to eat.  I'm going to have a half sliced over my breakfast omelet in a few minutes.

G has gone off with Riley to cut lilac branches at our daughter's house.  He'll bring them home and have the tree guys chip them with the other stuff they still need to chip.  I have clothes in the washer.  I have been working on the Book Sale table layouts.  Yes, Book Sale next week.  Already.  My hair is wild and needs to be cut.  Tuesday at 11am.   I had to order new lenses for my glasses.  I scratched them at work cleaning them with a rough paper towel.  Now everything looks hazy.  My bad.  They were only 15 months old.  Out of warrantee.

I finally got my account with Borders fixed, I think.  I did manage to get 30% off  on each of two books that I bought this week.  I have a new medieval romance to read.  Time travel.  Love!  Been looking all over for gray fabric for the next 12 by 12 challenge.  I know I painted some but can't find it.  I may just use the "brayer over everything with white gesso" technique from QA on an older piece with lots of gray in it.  I need to add edges to make it 12 inches square.  And I may add a chair to it.  I found my paper chair pattern.  Happy!

Riley has just come back home.  Didn't like being at Sam's house with G.  I'm going to eat breakfast, fill out my food diary and then decide which, of the many dirty things in my house, to clean.  I still have five tomatoes to plant.  And perennials.  Never ending.

Thursday Morning Sunshine

As you can see, the trees are gone.  Well, in reality they are laying on their sides waiting to be cut into chunks and carried to the truck.  This part of the operation, sans gas powered, noisy machines, is less interesting to the work crew.  They (the two that are here) are moving at the speed of molasses.  It's hot.  It's sunny.  There are biting bugs. The four foot tree chunks are heavy.

We have a lot more sun in the back yard and don't the hardwoods look nice?  Better than looking at pine trees.  I am imagining an enlarged perennial bed in front of the shed and possibly an apple tree.  Do any self pollinate?  But right now I should be filling the shed window boxes with flowers. I have to go get "sunny" flowers now.  Petunias.

G has enough wood chips to last a few years now.  We can layer them into nice paths from the garage to the shed and then to the garden.  And G can take down any really small trees to give us more "air" circulation which keeps down the bugs.

Three full days of vacation and I am DONE.  I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to shop. I don't want to do anything but finish neglected household chores and get my garden planted.  I managed to get my Pilates/yoga into the morning so far.  After eating cereal for breakfast.  I wanted it.  I ate it.  I poured the remainder into the compost bucket.  Sometimes you have to give in, to learn a lesson.  I also ate a hardboiled egg to compensate for all the forbidden carbs in the cereal (40).  My real motivation was the half gallon of soy milk with an expiration date in the fridge.  I should have just had a glass of milk with a MIM or had Fiber One cereal.  It doesn't matter now.  It's in the compost and won't bother me any more. G won't eat it because my shredded wheat biscuits aren't coated in sugar.  His are.

G vacuumed the floors and carpets, made the bed and is now walking the dog.  I mopped the floors and have some wash in the washer.  I repotted the gardenia.  We have books (and book sale paperwork) to pick up at the library, my eyeglasses need an adjustment and we were going to the bank but it can wait until Monday.  I'm tired.  And hungry.  See what happens when I eat carbs?????

Wednesday Morning Chainsaw

The Tree Man is back this morning and they are taking down the big oak tree out front (the triple), very carefully, because of the power lines.  That's G in the light colored shirt.  Almost everything in back has been chipped.  The headless trees are still standing and they may come back later to cut them into 4 foot chunks and carry them to waiting trucks.  This is getting to be quite an operation.

The rain has stopped.  Yesterday was cold and later in the day it started raining quite hard.  At the Mall, in Portland, everyone was bundled up in fleece.  June.  The Farmer's Almanac was correct.  A cold, wet June. I have seedlings to plant once all the work in the back is finished.  I don't want to get in the way.

I wore black cotton pants that I bought in August (I think) of 2007.  The year of the Diet.  They are size 14 and I remember wanting to buy the size 12 because I thought the 14 was a bit too big.  They fit just as they did in 2007.  A bit of extra room in the hip and thigh.  Not form fitting as is usually the case with cotton mixed with spandex.  I wore two half zip tops.  One red and white stripe cotton knit and the other a solid red sweatshirt.  And my red flats.  I looked "dressed".

The size 14 Eddie Bauer jeans still do not fit.  I COULD get them zipped if I tried very hard.  But I don't think I would be comfortable.  So clothes from that time period are fitting and the weight is still NOT coming off.  I had lost most of my weight from my rear end in 2007.  Which, I think, is why clothes, especially pants, don't fit now.  When the jeans fit, the blazer jacket will button.  These are my two "weight loss" indicators right now.

Yesterday we shopped.  I couldn't find anything I wanted at the Art Supply.  I did buy an Indigo Tie Dye Kit at the last minute which will dye up to 15 tee shirts.  I want to use it on my faded blue work shirts and a few stained white long sleeve tees.  I want to make dots on the top and sleeves of the tees.

At William Sonoma I got cutting board cream.  This is the same recipe as Spoon Oil.  Beeswax and food grade mineral oil.  I will be rubbing it into my cutting boards and wooden spoons.  I also got a Good Grips salad spinner to replace my old, not so good, one.

At Home Goods I bought extra hot Dijon mustard from France.  You know I love French stuff.  And I bought an All Clad pan on sale.  Same size as the last three I have purchased in the past two years.  They look larger in the store.  Now, I have to give one of them to EACH of my children.  Even though they don't want them.  Well, my son might.  He does have a small collection of All Clad.

Lunch was at Longhorn and I had a small Caesar salad and the Longhorn all beef chili.  I wasn't sure I was going to be happy with my choice.  But I was.  I asked for sour cream.  The chili was super delicious and just right in the spicy department.  Best of all it was hot.  I have been eating mostly cold foods.  Salads, tuna salad, ham and cheese roll ups and cold egg omelets.  Hot food has been in short supply.  When we got our check I asked if I could have another serving of chili  "to go".  Our server thought this was wonderfully amusing.  I have chili in the fridge.

Whole Foods and Trader Joes was next.  Whole Foods didn't have anything I could eat.  Too many carbs, so we left with very large beets (roasting in the oven right now) and two very nice fat artichokes.
We did better at Joes.  G got the mushroom rice bowls he liked so much, I got marinara sauce, olive oil. reduced salt pistachios (for G) and one sugar free chocolate bar with 1 effective gram of carbs.  If I had read the package label carefully, I would have bought a dozen bars.  Dinner was some sugar free rhubarb sauce I had in the fridge with original Cool Whip (1 carb per T).

Regular Cool Whip has a significantly lower number of carbs than the reduced Lite Cool Whip.  They lower the calories and increase the carbs.  Totally WRONG for anyone with a carb problem.  Whole milk yogurt has 10 grams of carb and the low fat or non fat has from 38 to 70 grams of carbs.  Check it out yourself.  We would all do better to eat the full fat stuff.  Less will keep you satisfied longer.  Perhaps that is why we were never hungry as kids.  We drank whole milk with every meal.

Whole Foods had no "ingredient list" for their Gelato.  And the guys in the fake chef coats assured me the stuff was FULL of sugar.  Why can't they make a no sugar/full fat gelato?  All I wanted was a sample scoop of chocolate.  I will be asking the local guys (Gelato Fiasco) if they can attempt an Atkins friendly gelato which will also be Diabetic friendly.

Topless Trees

The chain saw was in use all day today as limbs and tops were cut from the 15 trees in the backyard.  The yard is littered with cut branches and 16 foot tall topless trees.  It looks like a war zone.  Ugly.

Tomorrow they will chip all day and then cut the topless trees into 4 foot segments and carry everything off to a local meat cutting plant.  They use a wood fired boiler to heat water and accept any wood--even pine for the boiler.

Things always have to look worse before they can look better.  G feels that I won't like all the newfound "sun" and open look to this side of the yard.  But I can already see the hardwoods (maples and oaks) perking up a bit and enjoying the front row after so many years of standing in the wings.  The little shed even looks cuter now that it is out in the open.

The shredder is out front waiting for morning.  It's the huge kind that they use in horror movies to shred bodies.  Shiver!

We are "vacationing" by eating out and I had a bacon cheeseburger (no bun) at Applebee's today for lunch with steamed veggies instead of fries.  It didn't really fill me up so I needed to have some cheese and ham 2 hours later.  Dinner was salmon, oven roasted with lemon butter sauce and broccoli.  This is the third time in my life I ate salmon and it was good.  G had Saltimbocca ala Roma.  I stayed with the diet. Today made 3 weeks on Induction.  Tomorrow, I begin week four with coffee cream, avocados, radishes and 5 turnips which I intend to make into "turnip fries".  I hope they taste better than the MIM do.

I finished the Icelandic mystery book today.  And I have been dreaming of ways to make the French fabric circles appliqued to squares more "exciting".  By adding more hand appliqued parts to some of the squares.  They were too simple.  I like complicated things.  Tomorrow is Flag Day.  Fly Old Glory if you have one.

Where Will It End

Clipped from the New York Times Opinion Pages:

I think this is all part of the me generation's march to self-absorption. It started long before MySpace and Facebook entered the picture. That social network stuff is just the result of and the raison d'etre of this same group of people. Me, myself and I. That's all that matters anymore and now they have a way of documenting it in living color. Who cares what these people are doing? Why would I be interested? However, they think that everything they do is interesting.


This makes me, ever so slightly, ashamed of even posting on a blog.  But, I don't think everything I do is interesting to anyone but me, I don't "collect" Friends and I enjoy reading my own blog words.  This is Social Interaction Lite without too much narcissism.   I wish there was a spelling that put the "me" in "narcissism".

Before The Tree Cutting

I will be taking another set of pictures when these scruffy pines are gone.  The team is here working.  I can hear the chain saw.  The Tree Man is getting the big chipper into position.  My husband and the dog are outside watching.  G now wants the shoe spikes so he can climb trees like the professionals.  I wonder if I should get my tourniquet first aid kit ready?

These pictures are the only proof I have that the sun has shone this month.  Today is cool, overcast and damp.  My perennials are growing like weeds.  G's poppy (I purchase plants I know he will enjoy) is blooming--a very large, very red flower  on a plant that should be PINK.  It was pink when I bought it last year. Pink with a black center.  The light here in the house just shifted.  And I see a shade on the wall.  SUN.  Perhaps we can get the grass cut today after all.

I finally had time (and G) to get the king mattress rotated so I could add the wool mattress pad.  So now the bed is topped with this luxuriously fluffy wool layer, smooth real linen sheets and the new down blanket.  Heavenly.  I haven't asked G what he thought but I hope it was pleasant.

G worked all afternoon cleaning up his office.  I scrubbed the hall bathroom (his) clean and only need to mop the floors today.  I did about five loads of laundry and just about have the bathtub in my bathroom empty.  I use it as a big laundry basket.

I had soup with corn (a no- no vegetable) yesterday and ended the day with a sugar free jello.  This morning I was back down having "lost" the pound I "gained" yesterday.  I am just going to keep going and stop weighing myself (or weighing myself and ignoring the result, unless it's a good thing).  I started the morning with a MIM topped with a sausage patty and a slice of American cheese. (an Atkins sausage biscuit with cheese) Now I have to count the carbs.  I find I am happier with the addition of the fiber in the Flax meal. I added more cinnamon and a pinch of salt to make it taste sort of better.  I also microwaved the batter in a square container and it seemed like a "sandwich" after I cut the MIM in half.  Sometimes appearances can make you think you are having something you like, when you aren't.

G is shredding the papers he removed from his office.  Riley is monitoring the tree guys from inside the house.  I am going upstairs to do my Pilates.  See you later.

Succulent

 

I was contemplating a picture of the trash strewn hallway (I am deep cleaning the hall bath) for this post but, thought better of that idea, and walked past the collage scrap box in the dining room and took a photo of this magazine picture.  We have all these sedum at work and wouldn't this make a lovely display on a table?  I would need that adorable bowl to build this.

I slept very well, indeed, last night, post mouse, and woke up relaxed and rested.  Then I weighed myself and my world tumbled back into the duldrums.  I need support.  I need diet buddies.

Three weeks of strictly following Atkins Induction and I have not, repeat NOT, lost any weight.  I am counting calories (even though Atkins says we don't have to if we count carbs) and am around and under 1200 a day (even eating all that fat).  I should be losing weight on that alone.  I WAS losing weight when I was "cheating" on Atkins (still 1200 a day) and having a small serving of cereal with soy milk,  or a banana, or yogurt and fruit or even a slice of toast with my bacon and eggs.  I never cheated by having pasta, rice or potatoes.  Whoa, I did have mashed potatoes with my meat loaf, way back a month ago.  The problem with the cheating is the carbs and sugar in them, made me hungry.

The "Muffin in a Minute" with 1.7 carbs and the texture (and taste) of a dish sponge, isn't going to win points with me as a bread substitute, but it does work to "regulate" my digestive tract.  My Ahem, digestive tract, has been functioning the past few days, which is very nice.

Another "good thing" or better still, a "very good thing" is my lack of appetite and/or cravings for food. Yesterday we had a class at work (grasses) and we served the "cake" that I love so much.  They had the chocolate one with the chocolate chips and I looked at the platter of cake and walked right past.  I was not "haunted" by the thought of that cake-- in fact, I forgot about it completely.  Like that donut a few weeks ago.  You know how I feel about a donut.  Love!

And, instead of two 5 ounce cans of tuna for my lunchtime salad, I had only one and it was plenty with a good amount of mayo and a large green salad with olive oil and vinegar.  The ham and cheese roll up is still tasty and I have a tub of radishes (dipped in salt) as my vegetable.  Salty and crunchy like chips.  I plan to try the Turnip Fries from the Atkins book with our next round of burgers.

The food choices are no longer a problem.  I can always find something to eat or buy something to eat as every restaurant serves meat and salad.  I even have treats that I haven't tried yet to reward myself with if I stay on track.  Flourless chocolate cake with whipped cream and bacon pizza (just eating the cheese and bacon off the pizza).  Not on the same day or even in the same week!

What do I do?  Just keep going and forget about the weight?  I am not being rewarded by fitting into smaller clothes, either.  And no one is remarking that I have lost weight, which would be a tremendous motivator.  I sleep better than usual.  I have no food cravings.  I have plenty of energy.  I don't seem to be retaining fluids.

Help me.  Please.

Mouse In The House

Yes, Dear Readers, we had a mouse in the house!  I was in the bathroom and something caught my eye--a little movement.  Nothing.  Then it happened again and this time I saw it was a small grey mouse.  I screamed.  G came running and he and Riley tried to catch the little rodent.  No luck.  We lost him in my closet.

I suggested a hotel.

G suggested a mousetrap in the closet and another in the bathroom.  I was sent to gather cheese for the traps.  We placed the traps and I spent a long time (not sleeping) listening for a nice, final "snap".  Nothing.  This morning G checked the traps and found both empty. I was very tired.

I went to work (it was so cold today that I wore my shirt, sweatshirt and my rain jacket to stay warm) and hoped that Riley would find the mouse and shake it to death.  He didn't.

I have been expecting to see the mouse running around, everywhere, and have been postponing bedtime for that reason.  Shaking my clothing out, in case, the mouse was in them. Checking my shoes before slipping my feet inside.

It's 11 pm, G just walked by.  He had the trap and the mouse.  From my closet.  Goodbye mouse.  Good night. I think I will sleep like a rock.