Field Notes- Wednesday, September 6th. Cloudy and Humid- Might have rained overnight.

 Leaf Art from the blog Something in my sidebar.

Last night I finally went looking at medical web sites...for memory loss.  Progressive Memory Loss. Alzheimers timelines.......  we are halfway.  Husband is half way in Alzheimers.  I can no longer bury my head in the sand.....hoping...well, it's hopeless.  It really is hopeless.... He is all the way in Progressive. Checked every box.

And it's moving faster now......each day I can see the LOSS. I can see change. None of it positive. 

Today I will attempt a shower.   Get him into my shower as there is a low threshold.  In his bathroom, he has to step into the tub--I think it is now too dangerous for him to do that.  As he might fall and hit his head.  My shower was meant for access by wheelchair....but also walking....  I may need to find a chair for him to sit on.   He is now starting to smell.  I was thinking ahead when they did my bathroom. But I was thinking of another heart attack......not this.

I don't think he remembers how the shower works...he knew a few months ago.  Now he doesn't.

I checked off all the gradual symptoms.  All of them.  He has moved thru all of them.  I cried. He has moved thru all of them in a very very short period of Time. Though, looking back....he has been failing to process and think clearly for a few months now (even years).  If I think about it.....I wasn't paying attention.

I am supposed to be using a calendar to keep him current.  Help him stay engaged with people.  (he never was- has no friends of his own), find ways for him to be active- everything makes his back hurt. Feed his curiosity with crafts/puzzles etc.   He is doing Jumbles and Word Search plus the coloring books. But IS NOW coloring with the same three pencils....on every page.  He has hundreds of pencils.  No Field Guides being used.  The Botany side of things is not being used anymore.  We bought Botanical Coloring Books last month.

So........we moved at the speed of light yesterday.........and now all I can hope for is that he goes to sleep and doesn't wake up.  It would be the kindest way for this to end.   For both of us. 

Getting batteries in his toothbrush...was painful to watch.  And now that I have the smell in my nose- everything smells like pee.