Field Notes- Sunday, September 24th. It seems like Years Have Passed.

 From the picture file.  I don't have much in there right now......So.  We made it thru the night.

Husband at some point- between 5 am and 7:30...moved to the back bedroom and is asleep in there- we had both settled in on the two living room couches.  He on his usual napping couch and me on my reading, stitching, law and order watching couch.  Where Riley and I hung out all day.

I will be limiting evening liquids so he doesn't need to get up and pee at night. Not that he is drinking much of anything at all.  So it's a mystery why he needs to pee so often.

Just as  "settling in" things were happening here I got a call from Sondra- from the Way Back Times,,,,we had just begin to chat - when husband decided to get..up..off the couch for the first time and move around....so I had to end the call....sorry Sondra.  It was a while before I got him back onto the couch.

The walker and the very great contraption for the toilet so you can have bars to hold onto while going down or up.  So great- Thank you Peggy (and her sister in law who bought and sent it to Peggy who let me borrow it).

Patty or Patty and I will be trying to get husband's evening medication- prescribed as we were leaving hospital...from the Pharmacy.  We have to actually get here when the Pharmacy is open and hope they sent it to the right one....two in my Town.  The Pharmacy now has strange hours....must have trouble with staffing or something...On my usual Monday visits-- it was open  but by 2pm closed..

I admit to being confused by medications right now...sorting husband's into his pill container and trying to recall if I was taking anything...I think I was but don't see it anywhere.  Oh, now I recall.  I need to find those bottles.

Same sleeping thing...deep deep sleep until 4am.  (today was closer to 5am)  Even on the couch.  Which is comfortable for a nap but not a night's sleep- usually.  I slept really well...I was exhausted.

Our first full day... today.  Sigh.  I feel edgy....I think my daughter's anxiety has rubbed off on me... now I worry I will make mistakes......and she will blame me forever.  I am trying my very best but I can already see aging in my thoughts and actions.....or it could be anxiety messing me up. Or second guessing myself. 

Whatever it is...I hope I can work my way thru it.  And I need my car to be serviced back into working order......I need to drive into Town.  Groceries, drugstore, bank and Library.  Thought I have not read more than a few pages in a book in a WEEK.   That should be my marker that things are "not as they should be".

Headline here- husband is home...not in skilled rehab.  Only time will tell who was right in this altercation.  But...with memory loss- no one can actually win.  I need to find Palliative Care for him- recommendation needed from his Primary....so making an appointment.  Loving the thought of the wait time on hold....... days maybe.   I won't bore you with anymore of this- just wanted to set the guideposts of what was and will not be happening.......we are just going hour by hour here.  The Long Goodbye.