Field Notes- Going to be a Scorcher Today. Already 78 before 10am and 82 % humidity.

 Well, it's definitely a stay in the house day here in Maine.  I started the day with a long shower, washed my hair, put on fresh clothing........uncovered the ornamental planters (4). There are two clay pots filled with soil yesterday....waiting  on porch steps to be filled with annuals....possibly today...but I had a shower..so not interested in sweat or dirt.  Or mosquitos.

I like this image today....the watery painted colors of the vase.  The black flowers.  If I owned this I would move it from room to room....select furniture around it........

My desk top computer is doing what Elderly People do.  Not want to wake up.  Not want to stay awake.  Be confused by the emails (most go to junk and then delete) that come in every single day.  Unwanted, Unread. Unopened.   Get a Clue??????  Refuses to open or close when I ask it to do one or the other.

But we managed to work together to insert an image and text....Let's call it a Win.

The Cat Stink House is under contract.  I may have written this already but it's bothering me. Still.

I have a pile of books.  To read.  All favorites.....another is being requested....well, another two were requested (possibly three).... I am trying to read but my eyes get sleepy........Summer.

Field Notes- Tuesday, July 11th-- Rain overnight. Wet, Clouds, a bit chilly.

 Resultado.

A pretty notebook cover.  My eyes are dry and sticky today- a lack of moisture in the house.  No lack of moisture outside the house.  Everything got very wet overnight and thunderstorms are expected......

Everyone had Global Warming but Maine remains an outlier.  We stayed at 72 all day. But it was humid so I turned on the ac unit to remove moisture from rain and just being wet outdoors and then we were very comfortable.  

We all, on the street, have our garbage and recycling containers out......just in case the Collection Crew shows up.  The 4th of July messed up their scheduled appearances.  It also messed up Mail Delivery. None of the Town Services have been able to get back to the "usual" schedules.

A notice that our Oil Delivery system is now owned  ...not by Philadelphia but now...Boston.  And telephone services are no longer available...all communication will be via a log in internet service.  Which is so so idiotic....as Maine is on the list of States (via Biden's new internet infrastructure plan) because Maine literally has CRAP internet-if you have ANY internet. And, most counties have no internet.

Our son has wanted face to face conversations via internet...for years.  The screen locks up almost immediately...... Zoom things also are a failure- the sound is there but no images.

Writing these posts and actually thinking people can read this...is a "giant step for mankind" on my part. And yes that was a going to the moon reference.  I have breakfast dishes to wash.  And I am going to lunch with my Lunch Buddy.......today- on an hour.  Looking forward to it.....

Field Notes- Monday, July 10th. Rain overnight, Muggy 99% humidity. 68 degrees.

 Not mine...

So, dampness.  No sunshine.  Deer came early yesterday to  eat things in the landscape....they prefer that to weeds and grass.  A big deer- stayed chewing as I walked up behind him......said "boo" and he ran for the neighbor's yard.   I covered my annual containers early.

Today I wore my raincoat and took my umbrella.   Post Office first- to mail my bill payments safely (thieves are stealing bill payment mail from on the street boxes) and then to buy stamps.......but the one clerk was deep in the woods with a customer and the guy was trying his best to flirt with the customer he had.  The woman behind me said last week they took all the stamps out of circulation- with prices on them......now the stamps have nothing on them so the price of postage can freestyle.......  I said what I didn't like was the Passport business.  And just like that....the woman being jollied left and the next customer said- "I need to renew my passport".......and I left the building.  NO STAMPS.

Grocery........a very very large Man- - had packed a small styrofoam container with chicken nuggets....and the container was open and he was eating the nuggets and spitting what he didn't like on the floor...........I was near the Bakery so I mentioned it.....they had seen the guy...I raised two teenagers and I know the "look".......they said it wasn't "their department".  I said you do work here??????  Call someone in the Fried Food department?????

Later I discovered that Police (husband saw them) had been sitting by the entrance.....and then he said they left... at around the time they might have had to go in and speak to a refrigerator sized man. Eating Fried Chicken nuggets. Spitting on the floor.

I have the AC unit running.   To get rid of moisture.  Husband is eating his grapes- just choked on one. Lord....I am tired of all this....just being alive is wearing me out.

Lunch buddy Email---Lunch Tomorrow?  God Bless Her..YES!!!!!

Field Notes- Sunday July 6th. AC Units are off. Clouds and Rain are Back. 70 degrees 94% humidity.

 Theresa Rego.  Happy Color.

I used to appliqué flowers that looked like this on polka dot fabric.  Made me very happy. Perhaps on plain cream fabric might have been better????

IN FACT: There are nine 24 inch square blocks of flowers like this on dark cream background with small blue dots: covered in red, blue and yellow hand appliqué flowers and appliquéd (hand) strip borders..... I stitched squares on point all along the border strips.......yards of them...it would have been a gorgeous square wall hanging.  Instead all the pieces are encased in a hand made fabric portfolio to carry --it around. and these past years- to keep it flat.

So.....furnace is running.  I don't know why.  I didn't do any dishes.  I did rinse something off.  No one has taken a shower....it's a mystery.  Now it's gone off.  Just "topping up the hot water" in case we need heat, I guess.

We used the AC that one day.  Got all the moisture out of the house.  No intention on my part to open any windows.  If husband wants fresh air--he can sit on the Sun Porch with the door shut.

I might add Outdoors in July and August,Open Windows in same two months, to my "I don't do that anymore list".  Ironing is on that list....for the full year.  I realized the other day when my son mentioned in an email that first thing he does on arrival is get rid of my stove.......like I care.  I boil water for pasta (include Kraft Mac and Cheese and steamed rice) and bake Pizza.  Period.  

Perhaps he intends to cook?  I can help.

I do want to buy an electric frying pan to make pancakes.  And a hand mixer.  Dragging out the big Kitchen Aid is overkill.  The Food Processor is an accident waiting to happen.  Getting the blade out to wash.......I have nightmares of cutting off my fingers (a 40 year nightmare)

I watched a cooking show yesterday where they did boneless chicken breasts on the grill after marinating in a mixture of stuff and half a cup of Fish Sauce.  O. M. G.  They kept saying "it doesn't taste fishy".....

Field Notes- Saturday, July 8th. Overcast, Cooler- Rain in the Forecast.

 Daughter stopped off after work (landscaping clothing, sweat and dirt)- She had been at Goodwill.  I was given a sealed stack of five packages of 4 by 6 Index Cards.  In case I want to spent my LIFE  drawing Cactus on 500 of them..... the size of the package is daunting..... but...I can do math these days- so perhaps only two years of a daily drawing habit.  Maybe...with some days/weeks off. And recipes on some of them. Recipes I will never use.

I think I have given up cooking.  The stove is used to boil water for pasta (husband's)  The oven for pizza. And the remainder of cooking is microwave or toaster oven.  Thinking of baking something- even a pan of cornbread......I think about it and decide...no.

I am reading.  My eyes are getting dry- due to AC units pulling moisture from the air and the ceiling fans. But after two days of oppressive damp and heat......we now have clouds and still cool air.  It's nice but MOIST.. not a ripple of a breeze.  Trees and leaves are still.

I did not enjoy the six years of Georgia Summers and then the full 52 weeks of Humid Hot Florida ...for  three years, not to mention Summers when living in Chicago with 100% humidity and 100 plus degrees.  Our clothing was wet after only 15 minutes outside.  All those homes and yards produced the most fantastic TOMATOES......sigh, I do miss them.  Here in Maine- not great for Tomato growing.

So...daughter left with my unopened bag of frozen breaded chicken patties.  Turns out they are her FAVORITE as they fit perfectly (she loves perfect anything) on her gluten free "buns"...she did not use that descriptive word she just made a drawing of sorts with her hands.  She left happy.  She also spent TIME talking with her father on the sunporch.  Which I appreciated.  And he enjoyed.

I watched both days of the Murray Tennis Match.  I was happy he lost- I prefer the Greek Guy. And watching someone who was getting no great joy out of playing- is tedious. I refuse to watch any matches with the Serbian AssHat. So, I have few opportunities for tennis going forward........I do like mixed doubles so perhaps that will be what I do.

Field Notes--Friday, July 7th. I think it will be HOT again today. With lots of SUN.

 Now...this might be something to consider....but the mosquitos usually put me off of outdoor seating here in Maine backing up to dense woodland.... animals, ticks, mosquitos..... oh, my. Like the Teddy Bear's Picnic Song from long ago..... "Don't go out in the woods today....."  have I used this image before???? I deleted it so I won't use it again......

I bought mosquito spray...the news from Florida..malaria from mosquito bites. Spellcheck didn't correct my spelling.  I used to have a spelling book in the top left hand drawer of this desk...husband has it. I will try and find it.  So I can spell things as they should be spelled.

The house on the street (drugged out son), Number Five, is up for sale with a price no one is happy with....two houses back to back ...selling below value due to owners not maintaining the property.  I had hoped the sale of our house (after we stop living in it) would provide some long term money for our two adult children.....guess not.

I was  Counting my Chickens.......wasn't I?

I bought lots of stuff at the grocery yesterday after my haircut......husband's prepared meals with Meatballs this time...not Chicken Parm. I layered the meatball meals in the stack with remaining Parm meals.  so they would get eaten......I bought myself some hotdogs and buns.  I am hoping I have relish.  But if I don't I will chop up sweet pickle chips and "make" relish.  I did purchase two prepared meals of Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes and Broccoli for myself..... they didn't have the Chicken Cordon Bleu..... as well as hot dogs and buns......which I am looking forward to eating. I did NOT buy Potato Chips.

My Lunch Buddy suggests Lunch....we have lots to "unpack"!!!!!

Field Notes- Thursday. July 6th. 8:50 am. Yep...up way way too early.

 King Arthur.  Sends me emails...pictures of their products.  Like I am going to bake anything. Years too late for any of their special flour packages.

Mushrooms growing in the Grass Growing Experiment (out front) of a few Summers Ago.  The WHY of it...don't know.  White and quite dense.  I pick them and toss into the untended wild section....grow there if you want or animals can come eat them..  I sprayed the ant hills in the sidewalks this morning.  They were busy running away.

We had a visit from an orange FOX this morning before I made my coffee......usually RABID. So not welcomed with any joy on my part.  The deer haven't come to eat things.....they were here in early spring. I usually see a lot of big black crows under the hanging from the big oak tree bird feeders.......none of those. Perhaps the FOX ate them...? 

One year there was a massacre of great proportion across the street on my neighbor's back deck......half eaten bodies of all sorts of small animals.....ugh.

The three or four days of dampness and rain overnight has caused the grass to grow "abundantly"...I sent an email to the Grass Guy.  He will arrive Friday to cut.  I was going for every other week...but that plan has died a quick death, I think....until we stop having rain.....then the grass itself will die. Some of this is directly due to TruGreen coming twice and heavily fertilizing.....then disappearing again.

I know some of you will just sigh and say "about time" regarding the next sentence......okay...I did two loads of washing yesterday and WALKED AWAY from the machine.  Yes, I walked away and did "other things" while it finished spinning, rinsing etc etc.  And then I started a second load.  And didn't stay.  I checked in.  But not in a fussy horrid way.

I still have no idea how anything gets so very clean and soft.  ONE tiny detergent pod.  Very little water.  Lots of strange noises that sound like whales........ but the pod has "stain lifters" so there is that........

Getting my hair cut at 10:30.   Worried about parking already.  Will go down the road to my past place of employment to buy Marigolds....one planter needs them...... DMV on the 18th. Daughter finally found time.

Field Notes- Wednesday, July 5th. The Day After.

 The Day After Fourth of July.  Ours was wet.  It rained off and on.  

We were invited to eat with the Twins Family.  And other guests.  It was a lovely jumble of neighbors and we had good conversation and the food was wonderful.   One of the twin boys played the piano.  He's getting to be quite good at it.  They were going to a Sea Dog's baseball game with fireworks.  We used to do that.

I am trying to be more neighborly.  They invited us during COVID and I always declined. So now we have gone for Christmas Dinner and now Fourth of July.  One of the Twins walked us home.

The guy who inherited number 3 on our street after his mother died (dementia) has decided to sell the house.  He filled two dumpsters with the contents of the house (his mother's things)- stuff that would have been welcomed at thrift stores or Goodwill.....but instead went into the dumpster.  I wonder if he had already inhaled all the cash she left him?  He has a drug abuse problem.  The front yard is littered with stuff.  We will see how it goes...... I know the shag carpeting has been peed on by the cats and I doubt anyone has vacuumed it regularly.

Well, I am hungry and need to make my oatmeal.  I just finished a Nancy Thayer Nantucket book. People died as usual.  But no crockpot suppers.

Field Notes- Tuesday, July 4th. Damp.Cloudy.......in the 70's

 You get an image of Mixed Berry Pie today for the Holiday.  Red and Blue and with ice cream you get the three holiday colors.  We are NOT having pie.  I am not baking.  We heard fireworks last night.

The remainder of the "fall out of bed" onto the hardwood floor has now reached my right shoulder blade and neck.  A week?  I landed on my left side.  It's like a traveling injury.  The right side of my neck and shoulder aches.

Husband is on the sunporch- no sun- adjusting the ceiling fan to a higher speed-- he is wearing a heavy sweatshirt. I have asked him why....he says he's cold.   Executive Function is not working for him. Nothing he says or does makes any sense.......he seems to be drifting in another reality.

I got him a Meatball and Spaghetti dinner. Just to even out the numbers of prepared meals (Chicken Parm) and the meatballs were very fragrant with garlic......he would like to have them again.  What have I done?

With ALL the RAIN...the grass has grown considerably over the past 5 days.  Perhaps I should have selected every week instead of every other?????

I started reading Christina Lauren's newest book the True Love Experiment.  I didn't enjoy their Western Book. This new book has a character from Soulmate Equation.  Fizzy.  I read all afternoon and into the early morning....it's a good BIG book.  I now have a collection of three books here that I read over and over again.....waiting for the Boyfriend Candidate.  I requested it again.  I've read Nora goes Off Script several days in a row as well end up crying every time....... I have a Nancy Thayer here...Nantucket, $$$, and a crockpot.  It's a seven days loaner so I need to read it today.  In case, I want to read it a few times.  Sometimes they are very good.   I need to reserve the Jude Devereaux again.  I really loved that book. My Heart Will find You.  so...my book list is here for you to enjoy... I need to turn on the house lamps....dark in here.   Happy 4th of July.  I wish we could be Independent of the Assholes in Congress and the Supreme Court. You get to decide for yourself which are assholes.  I'll keep my list to myself.

Field Notes- Monday, July 3rd. Rained all day yesterday...morning is dark and wet.

 Taco Salad.  I think there might be Fritos under all the other stuff.  I've never actually had a Taco Salad with Fritos.   I wonder what it would be like?  The kids and I had Tacos in the regular rotation of dinners. We ate dinners together- just the three of us.  Husband was never at the table when they were growing up. Always gone.  Working or just not coming home.  Just not coming home.  

It's not surprising that neither child (adult) has a significant other...or goes on dates. Or wanted children.

It rained all day yesterday.  I read a book I have waited for.......Happy Place.  I've read all the books this author has written....especially Beach Read.   This one took awhile to get into....a lot of moving parts (characters) to figure out.  But once I got into it.... I enjoyed it.  It's been on the NYT Best Seller Lists for awhile and I reserved it at the Library months ago......finally my turn.

I think it will rain all day today.  Perhaps again tomorrow.  Not that I am complaining.  We had little snow this winter and it's been dry here for a few Summers.  We need ground water.  The mosquitos are enjoying the wet......my ankles get bit each time I go out to put on the netting and take it off the containers.   The containers are doing well.....I still have plants for one more......no idea where I will put it.

We have our weekly chores today.....library and grocery.  

My neck is stiff.  The after affects of the fall out of bed onto the hardwood floor is taking it's Time getting around.  My neck, is furthest from the scene of the crime...so last to react, I guess.  I had expected bruises. But none have shown up......weird.  Anyway, I am now very carefully exiting the bed each morning.

My oatmeal in the microwave has beeped......time to eat.

Field Notes- Sunday, July 2nd. Still outside. No breeze. Ah, the Peach Trees moving a bit.

 A well tended garden bed.

I once upon a time I had such a raised bed.  Now the fenced garden has an abundance of plants that have gone wild...... not in the beds but growing in the paths. Mint. Bee balm. Horseradish. Lily of the Valley,  Iris. Comfrey.. I tried spelling to see  if the spelling thing would fill in the blanks- it didn't (but finally my mind did)........ and a lovely sedum ground cover, that I cut into chunks, and transplant into the flower beds by the house....... which hasn't happened lately so....it has taken over the fence garden....made a luxurious carpet. Also two small pine trees...which we can move into the landscape.  Free Trees.  The Christmas Tree variety...which we like, and G used to dig in the woods and bring home..as tiny trees....it takes a long time...long time for them to reach any size- now about three feet tall. Ready to move into the front landscape but not under the power lines.

The grapes have returned in abundance.  Climbing up and over the structure (whose name I have forgotten or lost because I haven't used it in years-  pergola?) .  The blueberries  have "aged out" and produce leaves and branches but zero berries.   The Wild and Regular blackberry mixed vines have gone crazy...... I hope to find berries.  The wild are so tiny and the thorns so large.......the regular  (cultivated) has no thorns.

My aches and muscle pains from my fall out of bed days ago..are just beginning to arrive. Slow motion. I forgot to eat dinner yesterday...I think I got to thinking about what to eat...but never actually did any making...so I am hungry this morning....and want to stop typing so I can make my breakfast.....9am. I am NOT usually up this early.

It is supposed to rain here.  Most of the day.  No thunder or lightening (but that could change).  Just rain.  But right now, it's calm and quiet...not even a breeze moving the leaves outside the window....no birds..... no sun......silence.  Nothing is awake yet.

Field Notes- Saturday, July First. Clouds. Possibly Humid.

 I thought you might see the humor in this pictorial image of cactus.  I don't think they are "real". Meaning..alive.

So....Neighbor across the road is back home after having her gall bladder removed--unexpectedly.  Which is how I generally think the gall bladder is removed.  Everything okay and then horrid PAIN and then removed.

My Master Gardening Classmate arrived with Strawberries she had picked and bagels.  We had a long chat while husband was trimming the overgrown shrubs on the side of the garage. Things we don't like touching the house......

We have been having bits of Sunshine and more often cloudy skies.. the smoke from Canada has fortunately (for us, perhaps not you) not arrived in Maine.

The Supreme Court...another magnificent GIFT from Trump's Four Years as President.  My own solution to college admissions problems- remove the question on admission forms- no mention of RACE.  Let the economic questions remain as to need based help.

My inbox here on the computer if FULL of things I must now move to the Junk File.  I thought daily removal to Junk would deter them...it doesn't.  When my son arrives I will write down the instruction for blocking them.....

Field Notes- Expanded-- Same day- June 29th

 The Grass has been mowed.........in like 20 minutes....We should have done this YEARS AGO.

Field Notes- Thursday, June 29th. It rained overnight or early this morning. Wet. Dark.

 I like the wall lamps.  I wanted them in matte black metal for the dining room.  They are not made in matt black.   This on line catalog shop has bedding for a "camp style" bedroom for grandchildren...that I will never have--I have the bedroom but will never have the grandchildren.and what would I do with them at my age????.  I love the old chair with a stack of books.

The Lawn Guy says he is coming today.  To cut the grass.  Which is wet. And I just don't care....sigh..I have gotten to that point where my fussy perfectionist self has just got to let go.......I did cover the Ornamental containers- Four- with netting and clothespins again last night.   Deer.  Eating my expensive plants.   Mosquitos.  Eating my bare ankles.

I finally read a book my daughter had gotten for me  Austenland.  A Jane Austin type "holiday" where you wear 18th century clothing and live in an old house.......with actors pretending to be characters......I wasn't going to like it....but by the end, I did.  It's a movie.  If you have "'things" on your cable service that allows you to view stuff (I do not)...you could go look for it.....could be fun to watch.  Was fun to read.

I rolled out of bed this morning and fell on the floor.  My back and neck feel a bit stiff.  My hip was the the first to hit the floor and it hit hard but doesn't hurt....yet.  I can't quite figure out how it happened...... I would think this is what most Seniors would say after falling......can't quite figure out how it happened.

Field Notes- Wednesday, June 28th. Cloudy, Damp, Wet, Dismal with Mosquitos.

 Not always Fun to be Royal.  Or to be an Orphan.

Well, the netting over the Ornamental Planters worked last night. Nothing was eaten to the ground. Things are very damp an mosquitos are very blood thirsty.....  I have all the house lamps on.

Reading a YA book written by author of an Adult book I enjoyed.  Firkins.  The Librarian in charge of this YA section- in another Town that isn't mine (Wells),  is selecting some very good books.  Hearts, Strings and other Breakable Things.  The lead in this book is 17.  Her mother has died and she's been in care for a few months but now her well to do aunt wants to be "charitable" and take her in for the 3 months prior to the girl going off to college... not Yale.  She was accepted but no one is stepping up to pay tuition.  The Aunt  (the girl's mother's sister) is living in the grandparent's home in a neighborhood the 17 year old has lived in before, upscale and wealthy.....childhood friends etc from summer spent with her grandparents..

In all this, I wonder where the father of this child is.......how he has gotten off without any obligations. And why didn't the well to do grandparents set aside money for college?  

I have quite a few questions as you can see.  Birds are behaving oddly outside the windows.  It's like they have all suffered brain injuries. Well......that's it for now.  It will be another quiet day here in Maine.

Field Notes- Tuesday, June 27th. Moist. Cloudy with a good Chance of Rain.

 This is how I feel.  Trying to get in front of the black clouds.......

Another sad moment.  The left side of the big planter out in front was "half eaten" overnight.  It looked lovely yesterday.  Now...not so much.  I have nothing to replace the half eaten dahlia.

We had pizza yesterday for Dinner.  My side had only onion and cheese and his side got pepperoni.  We each get four wedges.....I ate two with a big salad of romaine and mixed greens with Ranch Dressing. I used to eat pizza this way all the Time.  But started forgetting to buy salad greens.  I got large containers of salad yesterday.  Today I might have the greens with olive oil and Balsamic vinegar.

My Tomato Seed Starting friend, woke to find her Earth Boxes partially dumped out and the fertilizer package out of the box and partially "eaten".  We both are trying to think what happened.  This is NEW.

The bird in the back yard is still throwing his body at the sunroom window.  I now have it completely covered in paper- I read somewhere that that birds can have brain damage and this bird thinks there is another bird which he must attack...and it's his own reflection.  From what I read...they will do this until they.. die?

I just left for a few minutes to get more paper to tape to that window.  No one dies on my watch.

Field Notes- Monday, June 26th. Dismal, Damp Clouds....chance of Rain. No chance of Pie.

 Just back from a Doctor's visit.   New doctor. New office.  I also have a printout of my weight.  Not happy to see the number on that paper.  Without a regular exercise program...I don't see how it will change.  I actually don't eat that much but...enough to maintain the weight.  I guess.

We discussed tree work on the way to and house values on the way back.  

Now I wait a bit before we head out to the normal Monday Events.   Library and Grocery.  Husband is napping on the couch.  Library isn't open until 10am.  It's 9:46.

I am having a cup of coffee.  It's dark in the house...I turned on lamps.  Deer ate half the annuals in the back deck planter.  Even with the repellent.  Husband thinks the chipmunks ate the plant......no. 

Grass is growing.  Getting pretty tall and when daughter's guy cut it...mower was set too high.  I would cut the front...but mosquitos........with it being cloudy and damp...the mosquitos are voracious.

Even though I have recently been shocked by my actual weight.....I am still considering pie.

What's happening where you live?  Are your property values going up or down?  How do you feel about your weight.....?   How do you deal with mosquitos?   

I might need a nap.

Field Notes- Sunday, June 25th Rain is Expected- Clouds and a breeze now.

 This is my second attempt.  The first went a bit off..... reverting to something strange.

We are experiencing clouds and expecting rain.  Dampness.  The Morning Paper wasn't as interesting as it could have been.....some of the headlines were odd.   The rhetoric regarding the ill fated sub...NOW everyone KNEW it was a bad idea, poorly engineered etc etc.

This guy- this inventor had a crazy idea and he used second hand goods to build it and then charged huge amounts of money for passengers etc etc.....and now you are ALL noticing???? He even killed himself by going on this last dive.  And the Titanic.....why do people want to see it.  Why is my local Music Theater doing a Titanic Musical Production of it???????  And that awful MOVIE.

My opinion.

So...clouds in my coffee this morning.  Tomorrow the doctor's appointment.  When I get home- the regular Monday outing.   Library and Grocery Shopping.

My tomato plants look good.  Happy.  The Lawn guy sent an email.  I replied.  I never know if any of the emails I send go anywhere......we'll see.  But if he shows up...then he got my reply.  Every other week.

 

Field Notes- Saturday, June 24th. Clouds and a chill rolled in last evening....should rain today.

 Jane Newland.

I FINALLY got (ALMOST ALL) the annuals into the four outdoor pots.  And husband filled the Deer Scary things with Blood Meal-- my spelling book is missing- I offered it to husband....last I saw of it...  deterrent ?  rather than "scary"?

It got windy and chilly as the Sun was going down last evening.  I was expecting rain.  The morning paper says there will be thunderstorms...... for a few days.

The Neighbor's Lawn Guy is not returning my emails or phone calls....  in fact I got a notification from my "falling apart computer system" that his addresses aren't "real".  So they can't send my messages. I refer to my computer as "they".  So I called his phone......left a message.

I also receive messages from "them" regarding computer fraud and credit card fraud.......

I need to turn on the living room lamps.  It's dark in here.

I might have already written this-  I did two loads of wash and....walked away from the machine to do other things.....yes, I left it unwatched......it did just fine.....I wish I could say the same about me....but eventually I will be walking away every time.....and it will feel..okay.

My Lunch Buddy is taking me to my new doctor appointment on Monday @ 8:40 am.  She is driving.  She knows where it is....she was just there two days ago for her mandatory wellness check.  For our Medicare Program.  It's just a chat.....An Annual Chat, listen to heart, pulse yada yada. Check Mark. I need my Statin Refill.  Recent publications mention findings that a daily Statin keeps Dementia Away. And you tend to live longer........Husband's 80 to my 10 milligrams.  ?  Sigh.

Hopefully, we won't get the Social Worker.

Field Notes- Friday, June 23rd. The Little Roving Sub exploded.

 A little ceramic cactus.   I saw it somewhere and snatched it to the picture file.   Cactus in ceramics and on Index Cards.   My picture file was loaded....delete doesn't actually get rid of anything..... so I had to do additional things.......I might now be able to send you index cards images........new stuff. We'll see.

So.  I called in my Statin prescription from my many years doctor and no......so I had to call my new replacement doctor I haven't seen yet.......no.  I have to come in.  Be seen. Blood test.  So I explained my situation and all of a sudden we were discussing a social worker.........that was a very fast transition.  Now I have a Doctor's appointment and my Lunch Buddy is driving me on Monday at 8:40 am.  

Hopefully, NO social worker.  The woman down the street got one and was dead soon after and her drug dealing son inherited the house and bank accounts. And now we have HIM living on our street.

Husband lost his clothes.  He was looking for them everywhere- they were on the bathroom floor.  I pointed to them... he put them on.  Now doing his word search puzzles.  With three Arnica pellets under his tongue.  This is new.  The lost clothes portion.

I did two loads of washing machine- did one page of writing and then left.  Left the machine unattended. For the very first time in YEARS..........not sure i am fully invested in how this feels as yet..... but....okay I think....to walk away.

Left message (yesterday afternoon) for my cross the street neighbor's Lawn Service.  I know he is busy....we'll see when he replies.  Possibly not until end of the month.  He was on vacation so has to double up......He looked exhausted when I saw him across the street. Last week.

Field Notes- Thursday, June 22nd. Sunshine........

 Carrie Fell I think.  

I filled the outdoor decorative annual containers yesterday.  Husband wanted to make it a "thing" by dragging the full garbage can of sifted "soil" to each container..........geez.   I just filled up a small plastic pail as many times as needed and left the garbage can in the garage.  He will do ANYTHING to NOT have to walk... more than once in any direction.  I may add Annuals today.  Or not.  Depending on heat index.  Transplanting on a hot day...wilting.  Late afternoon is Mosquito Time.  So, not then......

Walking is actually beneficial to his back.  But will he listen (and remember) NO. Will he do his back exercises?  No. Will he slouch in every seat he sits in? YES.  His back is so curved now ... his head points in the direction he is walking.

I have not had a moment to start a load of dirty laundry.   Not one moment. (wink)

Tennis yesterday wasn't worth watching.  MSNBC left me...wanting to watch Tennis.

Daughter called to ask me to correct the lawn mowing saga..  SHE suggested he NOT mow the lawn for US.   He being one of her co-workers.  He works on the weekends cutting grass for the company she works for......I have nothing more to say about any of this..... You will not see any references to my lawn ever again...... count on it.  

It's beginning to heat up here in Maine.  No longer in wool socks and corduroy pants with thermal shirt under my work shirt.   Now...no socks, wrecked old LLBean ¾ knit pants, short sleeve white v-neck tee. The pants got wrecked in the fenced garden when they got hooked up on the wire fencing........ the v-neck tees are the ones with spots and stains that won't come out......the really clean white ones- not many- I wear for "dress up" until I start wearing the short sleeved linen Camp Shirts solo.  Box shaped.  With short sleeves that look like TABs coming off the top and sides.  Best shirts EVER.  New ones have darts..... and are crap.

Re reading Nora Goes Off Script.  Will be reading it several more times......already missing the Boyfriend Candidate.  I have a few others on the pile...... and two waiting. And a full bookcase of Favorite Books. so..Don't cry for me......it's just that I liked the Boyfriend Candidate so very very much....but Nora Goes Off Script is a very close second.......as is Second First Impressions (in bookcase),

Field Notes- Wednesday, June 21st- 8am. Still, cloudy overcast morning. Cold.

Okay.  Let's try this a second time.  Chilly, damp and overcast.  The usual for Morning here in Maine.

Image "between a Rock and a Hard Place".....aka My Life.

Yesterday.....well, the lawn mower guy changed his mind.  Doesn't want the job.  I tried my best to tell you all what it's like here in Maine- asking for help......all that.  So once and dumped.  It was "too much". We did get the AC units installed.  That's a win.

So......now I have to call the guy who DID want to cut grass and see if he will be kind enough to take us on as clients.  He might not.  And he also might not have Time anymore.

I have a load of clothes in the washer.  I have started wetting my pants....  

I was going to write about the books I am reading but ...it sounds tedious and dull even to me...I did get the Town Tax Tags for the cars.....I did get books at the Library.  I did get Chicken Parm Dinners even though the clerk said they hadn't gotten any in that day.  They had six on the shelf. I bought all six.

I may have already told you this......I think husband's second credit card was also hacked. 

Life is just so GREAT right now.  Asking for help was just so GREAT.... a real mood lifter.

Field Notes- Tuesday, June 20th Another- in a long line of Dark Wet Days.

 Yes, it's June and this is a Winter Image but......it's pleasant.  And it IS COLD and WET here in Maine.

Yesterday started the same but mellowed out mid day and ended quite chilly...again.  Today started- early for me and I will explain--- damp and dark.....  echoing my inner turmoil.

I finally got Demon Copperhead.  The first 20 to 30 pages were dark but beautifully written. Really Beautiful.  First person so I got to know Demon thru his own words before and after his birth on the floor....  but now the book has gotten darker  (he's still a child) and I know myself...I cannot continue.....reading.  And I am having flashbacks to my first 5 years in elementary school- in the very very Black Brick Charles Dickens Elementary School with tall black fencing all around.  I was reminded of walking around the corner and seeing the building (from five to 9 years of age) all black, tall and foreboding. I recall my fear and unhappiness.

Why Charles Dickens?  Kingsolver mentions his influence in the notes at the back of the book. David Copperfield.  Why black brick and black iron fencing?  Who knows.  The school was very old in 1951. I did a Google search and it is still standing.  Still Black.  Still has the pointy black fencing.  Still Creepy..

Anyway, I woke in tears.  Overnight the Demons of my OWN came calling. So, the book goes back.But I want to write- it is beautifully written.  Do give it a chance.  I did and I am broken hearted that I won't be able to read into the triple digit pages.  Therapy is fine but the stuff it dredges up....... I've cried enough.

My childhood was far from safe or happy.  I don't need to be reminded. Even if the reminders are beautifully written.

We repeat the journey of yesterday.  Library.  Town Office to pay Car Taxes.

Field Notes- Monday, June 19th. Cloudy and Damp outside. 63 degrees

 Many Moons Ago. I tried to do this...embroidery on a leaf.  It is time consuming and delicate.  Once the leaf drys- you really can't touch it-   And you have to choose a very sturdy pliable leaf.  Magnolia?

I have to say...the experience of doing this sort of thing stays with you.....And for that reason alone...it might be worth trying.  And matting and framing under glass....  causing Future Generations to gasp.

Father's Day.   Long call from California son to husband.  Visit from daughter-- she was tasked with cleaning up our iPhones.   Husband and I both had issues.  Mine was iCloud which I ALWAYS say no to--his was something else.  Also my picture file was loaded.  I wasn't using Trash correctly.  When she showed me what to do- I was thinking---oh, I used to do that all the Time and haven't done it in Years.

She didn't want to stay any longer than necessary.  We discussed our mutual visit to DMV. Soon.

I read the Boyfriend Candidate once more before having to return the book to the Library today. I think I read it five times (or more) in the weeks I had the book.  It's like my perfect book.  I am going to miss it.

I get to multi task today and pay the car tax on the two cars......There is a one hundred dollar a month fine  (each car) for not registering the cars and paying the tag tax.  Some "people" try and dodge paying the tax.........neighbors of mine.  Playing a game of chicken.  There is also an annual inspection sticker which carries a heavy fine as well.

I should be able, in the days ahead to catch you up on the cactus index card drawings......  Now that my picture file is very very empty.  

Daughter also set up something to get rid of the JUNK collected by the computer from a "Friend's email" we'll see if it works.  Certainly is a pain in the you know what.

Field Notes- Sunday, June 18th. Rained all of yesterday and very very wet and dark this morning.

 Jane Newland.

Everything here is green like this painting.  But the Peach Trees will be barren this year.  I saw very few little pink flowers......so any Cobblers I make will be made with Grocery store peaches.  The bees arrived too late.  The Plum tree was a riot of flowers but I saw no pollinator bees.... I was hoping for plums.

The house is dark.  And it's very early  7:26 am.   I am not an early riser.  But I could not sleep any longer as there were too many things going thru my mind.....so I just gave up on sleeping.

My desk calendar is a riot of newspaper headlines and black heavy ink.  Some spots of red.  Recording everything that happens here ...like a diary of sorts.

I finished the book I was reading and have one more chance to read the Boyfriend Candidate. I am also going to photocopy the cover in case I ever make it to the book store.  To order my very own copy.

Now that I am awake and my oatmeal has let me know it's ready to eat....I feel sleepy.  7:33 am.  Life as an old woman is certainly odd.

Field Notes- Saturday, June 17th. Dark and wet- raining.

 I love when a website gives me a great picture.   Of a well stocked bed.  Rug is very nice as well.

So.............the AC units were installed in like 5 minutes....I was off doing something else and daughter and the co-worker had one in and the second right after.   I turned them off a few hours later.  It was getting cool- but moist enough for flocks of mosquitos outside.  I think I was hauling the Annual Containers out where they belong...tired of waiting for assistance.  Daughter helped carry the heavier bits.

Now...when it stops raining and the mosquitoes get tired....it's wet outside so they are biting......I can haul out the container soil (a garbage can full (sifted) and fill them and add my very expensive (pretty) plants.

Also the ENTIRE lawn was cut- into twilight hours.....with the walk behind.  I told Daughter's Co-Worker he could stop but he didn't.   The place we take the riding mower to be worked on...had a FIRE (I cannot make this stuff up) in the Service Bay and everything was destroyed. Now...my first thought was....wish our mower had still been there...insurance etc.....but after the co-worker called a buddy over there....seems like it is a Real Business Disaster.

The Co-Worker seems to have a good idea what is wrong with the riding mower.   Might try and fix it. but he and daughter pushed the darn thing to the driveway.  Off the grass.

He also overshared with me.  I wonder what it is about me that makes people do that???? He also told me a story about his grandmother that I "knew".....like I had heard someone tell that story to me a while ago...and I have to tell you...it seemed very very strange.......Not deja vu...just why do I already know this story.

My iPhone updated itself and now seems intent on iCloud.  Which I have consistently deleted from all systems.  But the iPhone won't let go.....and also won't let me text.  Expiration Date. Is this how it is getting OLD....everything around your moves forward to it's Expiration Date....including Me.  The Washing Machine.  The Lawn Mower.   The Husband.  What next????

Nice to know you do not find me boring.  I actually find myself fascinating (laughing) but have to curb what I share here....for security purposes.  Laughing...........

Field Notes- Friday, July 16th. Sunshine...

 I noticed so many of my images in the Picture File are of FOOD.  And I really do NOT cook anymore.  We reheat.  Prepared meals from the grocery--or a pizza dough ball thawed out in the fridge and baked into a Pepperoni Pizza.  With onion.  Usually just fruit and yogurt for me.  Or toasted cheese on bread with pickles.  No one is cooking.  Well, I do boil water to cook dry pasta.  That's it. Oh, and bake pizza.

I asked the neighbor's lawn person if he had room for a new customer- he is running in the weeds- and then daughter calls...she has finally read blog posts (we never see her now she is back to landscaping work) and she was calling to see if I had her birth certificate- DMV.   I will have to look at Bank in the BOX and see....She might have to order a new one.  Like I had to do.

Anyway she has a guy who will mow.  And do snow in the Winter.  Candy Factory Friend. He will even be putting new shingles on her roof.....a nice guy.  We'll see.......

So.....I have a list of things to be "getting done".  It feels like a very heavy weight.  Very heavy. It depresses me.  I cry a lot..... I won't get into what else is going on here...... but we are safe and have food and perhaps the lawn mowing guy will also install the two AC units when they come to see the lawn situation.  They being daughter and her co-worker...... he is mowing for the landscaping company she works for.  They work together at Candy Factory in winter.  Just friends.

All my clothes are getting loose.....  I guess I am not eating enough.....but food is rather boring. I am MORE than boring..even to myself.

Field Notes- Thursday, June 15th. A Very Very Upsetting Day Already.

 Carrie Fell.

So here we are at 10 am.  Phone call from husband's credit card company........hacked.  Then conversation with husband....painful.   Then more from the credit card company.  Florida.  It's always Florida.  Is that entire state filled with thieves????????  I gave ZERO information to the guy on the phone.  No numbers. No address. No nothing.  I let him to all the talking......I still have my brain working.

He seemed pretty sure husband's iPhone or iPad had been hacked.  I feel confident that the man was correct.

My oatmeal beeped.  I actually haven't got anything new or interesting to write about.....well, I guess i do but I don't intend to write anything further....as this is my LIFE now...going forward.

I am reading "Better Than Fiction" which I have read before.   Husband is emptying used Keurig coffee pods.  Into the compost. It's overcast and 64 degrees with 88% humidity outside.  I have all windows closed.  I am dressed for "In the house Winter".

When my emails come in I get to delete all the Traveling Shit from Patty's "recipe" that arrived from her computer.  Endlessly.  I had hoped that NEVER opening any of it would stop the flow.....but no....they just keep coming.  And Dear Readers...I do not know how to block them.  I have never had this problem before.  I run a clean ship......Patty runs a garbage tanker.

Field Notes- Wednesday, June 14th. Clouds, Rain, Damp Chill. Quiet.

 Hal Mayfield.  I used to be very bad at Math.  I couldn't figure it out.  Now..I'm good. Enough.

Notice from the POST OFFICE.  Mail checks AT THE POST OFFICE...do not put in the box by the street. Or anywhere outside the actual Post Office.  People are stealing the checks.  More Good News???

My new tooth filling is a bit sensitive to cold and hot.  It's a big filling.  We are getting used to each other. and I am taking ibuprofen as needed.

It's dark in the house at 10:34 in the morning and I need to turn on the House Lamps.   I am wearing winter pants, thermal long sleeved shirt and wool socks. In June.  In Maine.  It's very wet outside.

I haven't chosen a book to read as yet...for today.  I did like the Frankenstein Book very much. I started reading an older book- Inappropriate Men.  But...I actually read it years ago and not sure I want to continue reading it.  I have other books on the pile.

My Desk Calendar Art is mostly thick heavy black inked words.  One word to sum up what I did during the day.  Several words if I did more than sit on the couch reading. sigh.  Can you assume I am BORED to DEATH here???????  Husband was never much of a talker but he is even less so these days. He refused to go get his haircut yesterday...... every day it's something different.

Field notes- Tuesday, June 13th. And the Heavens Wept. It's raining.

 A bouquet from my garden......already seen here before.  I have no interest in new pictures. This image is now in the discard file.

So.  It's raining on the freshly opened My Garden peonies.  They are TOAST.   As if.......Life didn't suck enough.

Dentist.  I noticed he had lovely ankles.  No socks.  There were many steps and procedures and multiples of tools used to repair my broken tooth.  And at the end...much smoothing to make sure my tongue didn't find rough spots.   It took a few hours--like 4 or 5- until I could actually, successfully drink my coffee.

At home.

We stopped at the Library but I skipped the grocery store.  No brown baking paper. No blueberries.

I had my leftover (from my Buddy Luncheon) manicotti reheated for supper.  It was lovely. Soft and easily eaten.

I successfully DID NOT watch Trump Trial News.  Or Miami Judge news.  Or anything.

I finished off Arm Candy which was very 70's-90's and started in on Angelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match by Sally Thorne who wrote my most favorite book on Earth- The Hating Game.  Angelika stitches her man together from parts of two bodies she and her brother buy at the morgue.  This is Fan Fiction.  I have never involved myself in this Fictional Category of Books.  I am often confused by the characters.  Who is whom?  But I keep reading.  I am less than halfway in.  Angelika's man has shown an interest in Gardening and Reading.  Her brother's creature has run into the woods screaming. Each creature has a body that does not belong to it's head.....

It's raining, cooler than yesterday (which was in the high 70's) and I have the lamps on.  Dark in here. It's drizzling now but must have rained overnight.   I might need socks.  I did get an email from our son.....

Field Notes- Monday June 12th. Overcast...... Muggy........ Dismal. .....ICK.

 Blueberry Muffins from the picture file........which is very very empty right now. I need to draw more cactus on index cards.....

I would like to have fancy cupcake liners- like these. Brown baking paper.  I like fancy things. But grocery store doesn't have them.  Whole Foods would def have them.  Too far away on I95. I COULD cut Brown Parchment Paper into Squares...........probably what I will do- 

after buying brown parchment paper. (which my local does carry)   after.buying Blueberries.   after the Dentist.  And yes, Connie ......Rhubarb Crisp.  Vanilla Ice Cream.

I had a shower.  Washed my hair.  Brushed my teeth.  Had Breakfast.  Brushed my teeth.  90 minutes till my dental appointment.  Husband asked if I knew how to get there.  I said yes.

So.......nothing NEW has happened.  Our children have not emailed so I am guessing neither reads the blog.  And I have not texted them........ Nothing else has caught fire...knock on wood.

Grocery store yesterday was fine.  I missed a few things but nothing of critical importance. Shelves all stocked.  I might switch to Sunday Groceries.  Monday is sometimes hit or miss with items on the shelves. 

After my tooth is repaired.......we are going to the Library.  I have three books waiting including Demon Copperhead.  Which won a Pulitzer.  Right now I am reading an old book- older- Arm Candy by Kargman. It takes place starting in the 70's and moves forward....... reminding me of those days.....shutter.

I listened to the Morning Joe news.  Those children in the Jungle for 40 days............gosh..how did I not know until this morning???.  Trump saying he did NOTHING WRONG.........even more gosh...... I am so tired right now.....of That Gas Bag and the Pence Whining Gas Bag etc.  Do you think they both have Elon Musk Brain implants?  For Artificial Thoughts????? 

Field Notes- Sunday, June 11th. Sunshine.

 Time to start thinking about the Back Garden.  If.... not When.

I have been keeping all the doors and windows closed here.  Because I am not sure the usual two-some will show up to install the AC units this year.  Nothing is "for sure" this year.

I have a recipe here on the desk for a Rhubarb Crisp.  Easy enough and I have everything. Except interest in making it.  Though I am sort of wanting a dessert item to eat........... and the Crisp would double as the add on to my yogurt and Bran Bud meal...instead of fresh fruit.

I am going to the dentist tomorrow to have my broken tooth repaired. So we are going to do grocery shopping today.  We are OUT of a number of essential items.  The fridge is looking quite empty.

This is usually- in Times Past- when I would pull out all the shelving and wash and dry everything.  But the shelving in THIS fridge.....difficult to get out and even worse to put back in. So I just wipe and dry in place.  And it is never really sparkling clean.

But then hardly anything in this house, right now, is sparkling clean.  Even me.

I just talked him out of sitting outside on the back deck in the SUN.  In his winter clothing.  He dresses for Winter.  It is chilly in the house but.......and he is out of Tangerines.  So we should just go to the grocery store now.

I read the book written before the Boyfriend Candidate.  About the older sister.  Fool Me.  Boyfriend is better.   Now I am reading Love Wager which is the book after..... Mr. Wrong Number.  And you know how much I love that book.  Wrong Number is better. So far.

Field Notes- Saturday, June 10th. Overcast- Yesterday we had sun and Clouds so probably more of the same.

 This was always a favorite of mine for Lunch in Europe.  Chicken and a lovely salad of mixed greens. Squeezing the lemon over the chicken.

Well, husband has said he was sorry for yelling at me yesterday- about 50 times now.

We think the belt that moves the mower was burned up and melted.  The mower won't really MOVE. And it probably won't do much of anything. Ever Again.  But it could surprise us?????

I read the Boyfriend Candidate again and started reading the book before it.  I will stick with it. But I really want to read the boyfriend one again. It reminds me of my former favorite book-  The Hating Game. which I read- is a movie....somewhere.

The entire MSNBC crew was on yesterday reading the indictment.  It was intense. And the photos of the boxes and boxes and boxes- some in a bathroom- in the shower stall- some on a stage right out in the open and it was just....Trump had to have been packing/hiding intel the entire four years.

Just let that sink in.  Hiding and bragging about intel for the entire four years.  They suggest prison but I am thinking a Firing Squad.  No blindfold.  Or hang him.  That's what those Rioters wanted. Hang him.

I hold the Archives responsible.  My Library is better at getting things returned......than the US Government.

Field Notes- Friday, June 9th. House lights on- chilly.

 Picture file full of Food Pics.  Strawberry Shortcake.

Husband is now going to cut grass.....sigh.  I can hear the riding mower starting up.

He's in the "I gotta do things" mode

So, I am just back inside...I happened to look out the back window and my husband was sitting on the riding mower and it was on FIRE.....I dumped the recycling and filled the pail with water and ran out...finally got the garden hose going and put the fire out....he'd backed the mower over the full gas can.

So...and he yelled at me.....and I am crying.  And he didn't get burned...and he apologized.

and I am..I am.......I don't know what. I am.  I guess grateful he wasn't on fire because the hose was tangled and I would not have been able to save him........

Field Notes- Friday. June 9th. Overcast, Clouds. No Canadian SMOKE...yet. The wind could change direction.

 So....Here we are on the 9th of June.  The President has been indicted.  Seven counts, I think. Canada is on fire and the smoke is shutting down New York City and it's airports.  My keyboard and pad here need fresh batteries so this post will be short.   

I need breakfast and the newspaper.

I woke up trying to problem solve the cars: inspection stickers, oil changes.  I'm thinking of calling AAA and letting them figure it all out.  

Keyboard and pad here need fresh batteries.......

I watched some French Open and was bored.......                     

Computer is typing it's own words and spelling them incorrectly....and I have to go back to correct.....sigh.  Not interested in correcting every other word......done for today.  

Lunch yesterday was lovely.....then the library for two new books.  I brought home Manicotti for todays' lunch. A Salad would be nice.....but no lettuce leaves......

Field Notes- Thursday, June 8th. Another dark wet Day.

 Not my garden. I could go out and shoot pictures of the Iris- regular and Siberian blooming right now in the yard- the Siberian out in the weeds- where I tossed them after digging them out of the ornamental beds.  Like Putin...they are always invading territory that isn't theirs.

Tons of flowers on the blackberry bushes.  Finally some berries???? No infant Peaches or Plums.

Ferns are enjoying this wet cloudy cool weather.  Especially the Leggy Ones- with the black stems and lovely ferny tops.  I spent extra buying them......

Visit from the Twins Dad and the big white fluffy DOG.  To check in with us.  I mentioned if he was having people over for hamburgers on the grill for the 4th. we would ACCEPT an invitation this year..... it amazed me how HAPPY that made him.

He mentioned his stove BROKE and he has been cooking on a borrowed set of burners from the Library Collection of Interesting Things.   For three weeks.  I once borrowed the Sock Mending Kit and mended my socks.  I think he is waiting for delivery of the new stove.  He wanted propane. So the wait.

Our sky is clear here.... none of the smoke New York City has (knock wood).......I was thinking the Heavy European Planes might have to land up north in Maine....like they did during 911 because of no visibility in the New York airports.  That happened after 5pm and I was no longer watching TV news.

That Boyfriend Candidate book was at the bottom of a pile. I was REALLY happy to see it.  Am reading it.......just as delightful the third time around.  Lunch with my neighborhood best friend at 11:30.

Field Notes- Wednesday, June 7th--- Clouds in my coffee. A Chill in the air.

 Bee Balm. I think I tried growing this but it doesn't "stick".........

We are having a cloudy, chilly wet day here in Maine.  I need to turn on lights. I also need to do a load of wash as I am out of clean underpants. Out the window it looks like a good day for a funeral.  Dark. Wet.

I read a really great book- twice and am now sorry I returned it to the library. The Candidate Boyfriend. I just finished another book--The Nanny which was actually X-rated but still very entertaining. The two main characters certainly enjoyed each other...... quite often.

I am not sure what I will choose from the book pile for today.  One to make me laugh or another that will for sure make me cry....as it has done the many many times I have read it.

I moved the Annuals again.  Now they are up against the house wall and on a slatted wood strip so the pot bottoms don't sit it the "wet" and rot.  It's still too cold at night for them to be transplanted into their Summer Containers.  I am still wearing wool socks in the house and a thermal shirt under my work shirt. 

I bought a bag of Blood Meal to add to the containers to scare off Deer who like to think my Annual Containers are part of a Salad Bar for Deer.  Deer hate the smell of blood.

I am wearing my Winter Corduroy Pants and Wool Socks.  It reminds me of the summer we ran the Wood Stove it was so cold in the house.  In the 1990's.

Well, I have to go do that load of wash.  Make another cup of coffee.  Write in the Washing Machine Pages.

Field Notes- Almost 10pm on Sunday. Rained all day today and still in the 40's.

 

Made pizza for husband today...  I had a bagel with yellow cheese and sweet pickles....pickles I made using yellow and green squash, onion and red bell peppers a few years ago when I made pickles...had the strength to make pickles.....in the canning jars and the boiling water bath in the big heavy kettle.

I can't any more.

It's been a difficult day.. the list of things I can't do anymore gets longer each day. I am 76. Feels like 96.

The list of things I can't take care of anymore gets additions every single day.

So not in the best frame of mind.  I don't think I will post tomorrow or even for a few days.  I will instead write in my notebooks. Privately.

I'm letting you know so you won't all- the five of you who read my words...think something has happened.  Nothing has happened except......I just don't want to write.. here. Just now... and be judged. Life is hard enough and I am having enough trouble dealing with it.  Or not dealing with it.  Depression is when you don't deal with things....I am trying to stay out of that... been there done that...

It's so easy for people to tell me what to do. To "get help".  Do you really think I am not trying to get help? Do you think when I ask for help- they say yes?  No.  They say why not ask............someone else. Or they just say no, I am too busy. Or can't you wait?

It's been a long time since I was away from the house-by myself..  Was outside the house. Didn't have all these tasks that I can't handle because, I am admitting, I am fragile right now and not feeling competent.. and it will only take one more thing breaking down...... one more problem... one more car needing an inspection sticker or a new battery or what ever.... one more fly in the house flying around. 

One more thing I just cannot do. I haven't driven my own car since last Summer. My car needs to be inspected and it needs a new battery and it needs............. gas?.  Nothing happens.  And I still need to get my license updated.... how do I get there? I actually do not know where the DMV is located. I've been there but never driven there. Myself. And husband's car needs to be inspected...the dealership is on a four lane busy road....husband can't manage stopping and then turning across two lanes of moving traffic.

And even with an appointment he would be there a few hours....who volunteers for that???? Tell me?

One good thing...I wiggled the connection for the cable and now I have a perfect image on the tv screen...and wouldn't you know it..nothing to watch.......

Well, I need to find a dry handkerchief..the one I have here is very wet. And I am tired and am going to bed. Like Scarlett O-Hara said- tomorrow is another day. Too bad it will be exactly like this one..minus the pizza.

Field Notes- Sunday, June 4th. 43 degrees. Dark, Rain. 8:24 am

 Something colorful on this dark cold wet Sunday in Maine.  I have on a sweater, cord pants (pulled back out of the closet) wool socks and a thermal undershirt.  In June.  

I went out to the garage to find another layer to cover the bedding plants on the front porch. Annuals are not prepared for 43 degrees.  In June.  But it is Maine.  It could still SNOW.

Daughter came with Fig Preserves and books.  Then drove her Father's car to the gas station to fill the Lawn Mower Gas containers.  He dad went with her.  She mentioned almost getting hit driving to our house (three times)........sigh.  Another reason I dod not driving in Maine.

My bowl of oatmeal in the microwave beeped......breakfast is served.....

No drawing today.  But the fabric or wallpaper up top should brighten your day.

Field Notes- Saturday, June 3rd. Rained since last evening. Wet, Dark, Still.......no wind.

 I got whatever was wrong with the image intake...sorted.  Here on the computer and then....

I wiggled the TV antenna intake and I got to watch MSNBC with a perfect image.  It might be a one-off as they say...but it felt GOOD.  It felt normal. For One Day.  Then I watched PBS news.  Then I set out a new puzzle for husband on the puzzle table.

I boiled a new box of pasta for husband's gigantic CARB BOWL of PASTA with Some Chicken.  He wanted to turn off the ceiling fan and I happened to see him looking at all the walls for a switch....what must it be like to wander confused in a house you have lived in for well over 30 years?

I knew what he was looking for and called him over and showed him the switch he had installed years ago and added a post it note if he ever returns to that spot.. I didn't say anything.  What is the point of causing moments of distress...that he won't remember but might remember the feelings.....

Anyway, you have yesterday's drawing of a cactus dish garden.  I searched my bookcase and found an Indoor Garden book with cactus images.... so this was from a "live" plant (photo) and not an internet drawing.  And it is crooked.

I personally, had a bowl of Bran Flakes and lactate free milk for supper yesterday.  Was delicious.

I will be thawing out a ball of frozen pizza dough.....for today or tomorrow.

I might be sewing today......I have quite a few books waiting at the library but I might wait till Monday. I have things in the bookcase I enjoy reading.....and I have cloth and thread....and I began the day with a nice shower...it's all okay.   I know it won't be ..eventually...but it's okay right this minute as I type this.. and that's all I can expect going forward....is it raining where you are?