Sunday Roses

Not as cold and icy as the weather outside, but white as the snow. I have the roses in the living room where it's close to 60 degrees. Roses like to be cool. I have them in a metal vase with a metallic green, dotted surface. Christmas colors.

I dressed warmer for my full day at work yesterday. And, naturally, it was warmer inside. So I kept pulling on the fleece, taking it off, pulling on the vest, taking it off. I even had extra dry socks and didn't need them. But better too warm than cold.

G used to ask me about my best customer each evening while we ate dinner. He doesn't anymore. I did have two "best" customers yesterday. One was a father sent to get "moss" for his son's school project. So, out we went into the frozen perennial yard, armed with the big butcher's knife, searching for moss covered cement blocks. I was down on my knees in the snow and ice but we found a good 4 inch portion and a smaller 3 inch square. I potted them up, watered them and wished him a happy holiday. No charge.

The second was a woman buying something for a friend moving into a new apartment. She had selected two herb plants and a flat square dish in which to plant them. One or three would have been easy. Two. Not so easy. Plus the dish was shallow. So, out came the butcher's knife again and I cut a few inches off the bottom of each plant. And some off the sides. I got them in and added a rock from my little collection of "interesting rocks" that I look for when I go out walking in the perennial yard. The little dish garden looked very Zen. The customer added a "dream" rock and we stuck some tiny red Christmas ornaments into the silver thyme and lavender. Sweet. And the customer was so pleased. She fairly glowed.

Secret Santa gifts are starting to show up at work. Very mysterious. I need to work on wrapping my gifts for the name I drew. I love wrapping a FEW gifts. When I have a pile, it's not as much fun. But two or three? That's fun. I especially like wrapping in brown paper tied up with string (my favorite song), a sprig of holly or Balsam and a hand drawn gift card. I also like adding a handmade ornament.

AND, I returned the Flat Stanley Tree and selected another wild, crazy tree. With a bouffant skirt all around. I am crazy happy with it. G says I bought the same tree, twice. But, I didn't. I made sure Flat Stanley was far away when I picked out the Bouffant Tree.

N was eating gum drops at work yesterday which made me want orange slices. The candy not actual orange slices. I had a handful of clementines to snack on. There was a time when I ate candy orange slices by the tub. Before the diet. In fact, when the diet started in January of 2007, I had half a tub of orange slices. 50 calories each. I would "save" 50 calories every couple of days and treat myself to "one". Eventually, I threw them away. One was never enough, so none was a better solution. I had such self control back then. I was determined to succeed. Where did all that go?

G is sleeping and Riley is looking out the window. I'm going to make a fresh pot of coffee and decide what we'll be having for breakfast. I missed the Twelve By Twelve deadline for the "pink" project yesterday. This is the fourth deadline I have missed. I think I have to realize that I'm not playing along anymore. Or catch up.

Roofers On A Cold Day

My skylights have been uncovered but the windows have an undulating blue tarp protecting them from falling shingles. They have covered most (3/4) of the roof with ice shield. I wanted a good roof and I'm getting one. Today one side is getting new shingles and the side by the chimney is being torn down. There may be significant damage there. I'm going to be leaving for work soon. I don't envy them the job today. 31 degree highs and wind. The sun is shining and they are working on the south side, but that is cold comfort.

Survivor was good. Russell has shared too much info with the others. Bragging. If he had kept his mouth shut, well, things might go better for him in future. The Idol won't help him much longer. This has been a very interesting season. Long on Tribal Council and VERY SHORT on the stuff we really like. The challenges. Last night the "bowling" lasted less than 3 minutes.

I untangled the Christmas lights. Three strings in a huge knotted mess. But when it came time to put them on that ugly tree--well, I just dislike that tree. I would rather not have a tree than decorate that one. So, this will be the year with no tree. I've never heard of anyone returning a tree because it wasn't as attractive as they had thought it was when they picked it out.

G is still sick. Coughing now. And sleeping. I have little sympathy. I rarely get sick. I don't overdress in cold weather, run the car heater on high and sleep in flannel pajamas. I don't even use the heater in the car except to defrost the windows, I sleep in the same outfit summer and winter and like the house to be cold. I just add layers. Breathing cold air is good. Less germs. So, I don't get sick and he does. I'm not sleeping with the bedroom window open (even in freezing weather), because the dog sleeps with us now. He would be too cold. I miss having the window open.

Time to go to work.

Product of Spain

Clementines. My co worker has been bringing three of these golden orbs to work with her lunch each day and I have been wanting some of my own. I bought a box on Tuesday (along with some 48 cents a pound bananas). Yesterday, my clementine had about 30 seeds. Today's- not a one. How does it decide?

The roofers are here removing snow from the roof. It's a very loud and busy job. Riley was outside with them until it got a bit "too" busy because they have staging, buckets of nails and other things where a dog will get into trouble. Now, he's watching from inside. I don't know what they are going to do. But they just removed one of the blue tarps and the sun is shining in. So happy to see you, Sunshine!

G and I argued and yelled last night, trying to get the unattractive tree I bought to stand straight in the stand. Not going to happen. So the stand now has shims under one side. I'm going to call the tree the "Flat Stanley" tree. It looks great from one side and this must have been the side I looked at during the purchase. The other sides are flat. Sort of like a pencil skirt. Hugging the butt. And the butt of this tree is flat. I am facing the "good" side toward the door, where people may come to look at the tree, and the flat sides will be what I see, every time I look at the tree from my seat on the cozy red slipcovered couch. I could change my mind and turn it so I see the good part and everyone else (if there are any) sees a really ugly tree. And I paid money. This isn't something I cut down in the woods.

I'll be adding lights this evening. While watching Survivor. Is Russell going to do something stupid? On WW yesterday, Mrs Lanahan bought a new car and was killed by a drunk driver. I hadn't seen this episode before.

I listened to a podcast with Roz Stendahl yesterday, moderated by Rice Freeman (who has a very irritating voice and laugh). Roz had a number of good things to say to me. Stop whining. Stop wanting the universe to send you what you want instead of working for it. Write down how you spend your day (in 15 minute increments) for a month. See how much time you waste. And think about how you work. This was interesting as none of the work I do (art wise) needs to be done in one session. I can do a bit here and a bit there. So if I had a project "on the table", or even two or three, I could wander in and do 5, 10 or 15 minutes work while cooking, doing laundry, making the bed, ironing etc. through my day. Even a watercolor painting. do a wash and walk away. This would even be a better way for me to paint as I mess things up by going too fast.

Roz also talks about paying attention to how your brain works. There's a spot in the brain where an idea can settle and bring to your attention anything resembling that idea. Her example was a Mustang car. Get the idea in the right spot in your brain and suddenly you will be "seeing" Mustangs everywhere. They were always there, but your brain didn't know you wanted to notice them. This is exactly what happened when I got the idea for the Christmas Cards while sitting in the left turning lane. I had put the thought (I need an idea) in the right spot in my brain and it sorted through everything and the idea popped up. And I had everything I needed for the cards. Norfolk pine seedlings, colored pencils, smooth paper that took pencil beautifully and a paper cutter and pencil sharpener. But my brain knew all that.

I apologize for the depression post. I am trying to do better at keeping the blog upbeat. But yesterday was a very bad day. Until the podcast and then it turned out to be a very good, productive day.

All Better Now

If one room is "blue" then I'll just sit in the "red" one. I also listened to my first two pod casts and the first one was a special message directly to me. Stop whining. Stop wanting wishes and dreams to just "come true" without hard work (on my part). Stop wasting time. Or as my son always says, (to me) "quit your crabbin".

I changed the slipcovers, removed the summer covers from the pillows, moved furniture, switched the rug position, packed up the CD player (too big and I just don't want it around anymore --want one? Sony, plays 50 discs), vacuumed, made black bean soup, made a pot of French press coffee. had hummus and carrots for lunch, dusted table tops and lamp shades, paid bills and finally made copies so I can get the final bill deposit back from the title company. $200. I may use it to buy $200 worth of Smart Wool socks. Love those socks.

I called G at work to remind him that he needs to get this snow up off the driveway BEFORE it starts to rain. And turns into a 3 month long sheet of ice. If he bought a simple to use snow blower, I could use it. But he buys complicated ones, that he sometimes doesn't know how to use, either. He did the same with the lawnmower. I like simple.

So I got a lot of stuff done, stayed busy and now have a huge pile of white couch covers to take to the laundromat along with a bottle of bleach. And I wasn't depressed.

Thought you'd want to know. Pizza tonight.

Blue Christmas

The roofers covered the skylights with tarps so they won't leak when it rains (after it snows). Which means that the major source of light here in the room I spend most of the day in, will be less, and blue. For 18 years I have enjoyed a great deal of natural light, even in winter. The "dark times" are here now, earlier, and for most of the day. I have switched on the lamps, but it's still going to be a dangerous winter for me. Depression lurks.

And G never got around to putting my skinny little wild tree in the stand. So my planned activity for this snow stormy day, decorating the tree, isn't going to happen. And the book I want to read is at the library waiting for pick up, but they have probably closed because of the storm. And I wouldn't drive into town anyway. The notification came via email, AFTER, I had done all my errands.

I went out to Goodwill yesterday to see if I could find some pants or a down vest or jacket liner. All the pants, and they had lots, were 14, 12, 10 etc. And I am not that size anymore. Another reason to worry about being depressed. I went to Dick's looking for a down hunting jacket liner. The manager agreed that jacket liners are amazing but Dick's doesn't carry them. And he couldn't think of anywhere to get them. The one I have now, is too tight. Can you see the theme of my life?

I wanted to buy the Art Quilt Studios magazine with Deborah's article, but since the magazines are permanently 10% off, I couldn't use my 50% off coupon and $15.99 is too much for a magazine. Especially when I have no idea if there is even anything in it I want to read, besides Deborah's article. I was willing to pay $8. Jo Ann's puts popular items on permanent 10% off so we can never use our coupons to buy these things. Coupons are for "regular price items" only. I walked out of Jo Ann's last night with nothing. And today, the day of the storm, is 15% off everything for anyone over 60. And the town is shutting down. And they refused to give the senior discount last night. I heard little Nanas asking.

So, here I sit. The house is dark. It's snowing pretty hard. My back hurts. I feel like crying. And now, I am crying.

I have ironing and laundry to finish. And I can change the couch slipcovers. Vacuum the rugs. Keep busy. I can do all those things and still cry.

The Day Before The Storm

Everyone in Town is out getting ready for the "big storm". Like we don't have snow followed by rain and freezing temps every winter. But, like a lemming, I was right out there with them. Getting the dog's license from the Town clerk (who had no change because someone had paid for a $6 dog license with a $100 bill). So I paid with ones and a handful of quarters. And I even went to the Post Office and only had to wait 5 minutes and was treated so cordially that I even smiled and laughed. We pasted Kwanzai stamps on my ten handmade cards, which weighed exactly one ounce, so I only had to pay 44 cents each. A wisp over and I think it's 88 cents. I even went to the bank to deposit my last four paychecks and to the grocery where more things are "not available" due to rain in California. Romaine Lettuce.

I did manage to buy everything on my list. They had my brand of yogurt today. And they had three containers of oatmeal so I could buy one. And tiny little clementines for $7.99 a box. The fresh green beans looked terrible so I bought frozen. I even got a bag of fresh Cortland apples for tonight's applesauce. I discovered we like homemade better. And G eats more because it's so tasty. He doesn't like fruit unless it's inside a baked dessert. Banana Bread. No Banana. Apple pie but never an apple.

Fiber One Bars. Do any of you eat them? I have just learned that they cause some people to fart like crazy a few hours after eating them. Is this true? I have a large box of 36 bars and am worried about eating them now. It's bad enough being "a certain age" but farting for a few hours? Not a good thing.

The Roof. Because of the pending "STORM" my roofer sent his guys over to cover the worst spots on the roof with tarps. Nailed down. A Good Thing. I was really surprised and happy to see them this morning. When it does rain, it'll all stay outside. Thanks, guys.

I was going to go to Goodwill today. For pants. And a down vest or jacket if they had one. Riley wants a walk. I do not. I took him in the car when I went on my errands, so it's not like we haven't "done something" together. And he was outside while the tarp was being put on the roof. I think I will go right now. I have coupons for Joann's and I want to get the new magazines with Deborah's articles and a new calendar. The two places are close. With Target in between. I need to hurry before the Fiber One bar takes effect.

It's Christmas Card Reveal!

Here are the charming models for this year's cards. I saw these little trees on a coffee table in the Pottery Barn catalog and, instead of pine tree seedlings, I used Norfolk pines.

Here are all 10. One is inside the card, shaped like a Christmas tree. I used smooth, cold press watercolor paper, 140 pound, with Prismacolor pencils. I think maybe I need a larger set with more colors. 48 colored pencils sounds like a lot, but more is better when you are trying to match colors.

I did most of these while watching that Jack Nicholson/Diane Keaton movie. He likes young girls and she's dating a young doctor. I think 10 is the right number. I don't think I could have motivated myself to make more. Now I have to chose which tree for which family and send them off in the mail. Marianne and Larbi, I will have yours posted on Tuesday!

I used different potted trees, the light source changed as afternoon turned to early evening, and I tried to never to use the same shapes or colors. So, it was a mental and creative exercise. And a very relaxing, lovely way to spend a Sunday.

I finished just in time to get dressed for the company party. Of course, the black pants were too tight and I hated the white shirt. I ended up in a green long sleeve tee and a lovely wrap sweater in a heathery green. I matched my art work.

We had a lovely evening at Fuji. G works for the nicest man. I mean, really, a good man. We had delicious sushi, and the hibachi chef was very funny and everyone was so happy. I had two glasses of wine and some cheesecake. No lunch.

The dog didn't shred anything while we were gone (we left the tv on for him- the Cooking channel because there was no NCIS on) and now he and G have gone off to bed. I think I will, also, because it's 10 pm. I do have to work tomorrow.

I wanted to post the cards now, so you could see them on Monday. I so rarely have art to show you all, and I am quite happy with what I made today. Feels good.

68 Degrees on Thursday: Snow on Sunday

We woke up to a Winter Wonderland here in Maine. Wet and soggy but still very white. And not very cold. G is outside trying out his new $2100 snow thrower and Riley is out there bouncing around. The report was : okay. Too much slush and ice to really do a good job of throwing snow. A job for the shovel. Not the machine.

Today is the day of the "Company Christmas Party" and I don't think I have anything to wear. I have things to wear but are any of them appropriate and do they fit. Business Casual. No Jeans. Not that I would wear jeans. And the added "everyone is wanting to meet you", which makes my stomach cramp. I never know what stories G has told people about me. And he does tell stories. G was just telling me that HE was the surprise of last year's party. G had called the store owner and offered to work for him. He hadn't been hired yet. But the owner was stunned by the offer. A former restaurant owner offering to work for another. Guess that is stunning.

We're having toast, coffee and yogurt for breakfast today. We missed the CBS Morning Show.

G and I both worked very hard yesterday. Business was very good. And we were on our feet, on hard surfaces, all day except for our 30 minute lunches. So, not surprising, that we ate dinner (leftover whatever was in the fridge), had showers, watched a few minutes of "nothing on tv" and then went to bed. At 9:30.

I have laundry to do, ironing for the coming week and I need to begin working on my cards. and try on clothes and find something to wear this evening. The sun is shining. the snow is melting and Riley and G will be out walking in the woods. Good times.

Surprise

Just fooling with you. This is the pom greeting card I found in the bottom of the card drawer and snapped a photo of this morning. After I cleaned up the mess of shredded junk mail the dog had worked on after G left for work. Guess the recycling will have to be taken out before we leave the dog alone. Riley seems to have developed "his own interests" and hobbies while we weren't paying attention to him.

Here's the pom you all liked best with some of the dictionary pages for contrast. I'm not sure if it's done yet. But it does look nicer with the new additions.

Here's the first one I did. You saw it as just a blurry outline with the brush pen. I then added color with my watercolor paints and some gum arabic instead of water. Richer hue and depth to the paint. And a few days later I added the dictionary page with pomegranate. I like this one. It's still VERY simple but charming. I don't know if it's done yet either.

I finally had an idea for this year's Christmas Tree card. I was sitting at a traffic light waiting to turn left and it came to me. And I thought, well, that's a damned good idea. And I haven't done it before and I will be using a new medium and it's all good. Now to find time to get going.

I got home from work at 5, started a pot of chicken soup for G (he has the sniffles and is pretending not to have a cold), ordered shingles for the roof, took a shower, put on my jammies, started a load of wash and now, here I am with you, and it's 6:30. I took all these pictures this morning and just had to download and crop them.

I work again tomorrow. We are getting busy. I'm mostly not very busy but I watered the entire greenhouse and puttered about. Tomorrow should be better, as I may be able to work on wreaths again. I cut up carrots and packed them in a container along with hummus for my lunch. I may take another frozen block of lentil soup to go along since it maybe cold.

My walking buddy and I talked and drank our way through lunch yesterday. We did laugh a lot, also. I always forget (ahem) how much I love a nice bottle of pinot noir. And the chocolate brownie with chocolate gelato wasn't bad either. I skipped breakfast and supper so I could eat & drink without guilt. Then I walked the dog. Which was quite pleasant after a few glasses of good wine. What I remember of it. I do recall talking to people. I was friendly.

Well, the soup smells ready. I need to make noodles. My bowl today is full of good ideas, good memories and good soup.

It's Raining, It's Pouring - In The House

Yes. I woke up and discovered wet floors, dog bed, dog toys and even the dining room table is wet. I have buckets out to catch the water but I'm sure the insulation under the bead board ceiling is soaked. And now it's coming in over the windows. We're looking at a really big problem. I called our roofer. I think he's probably off at his camp, hunting. It's what Mainers do in November and December. I'm doing all I can do, now. My intuition kept drawing my eyes to the roof EVERY time I was outdoors. I didn't listen. Didn't I say I wanted to be more receptive to my intuitive side?????

Riley also shredded up all the catalogs, paper bags and other recycling he found in the recycling box. He sees the box as an extension of his toy box. And he shreds paper when he's nervous or bored. I'd say all the water dripping on him made him nervous. So I will need to buy another lidded trash can just for paper recycling. While I'm buying, why not two "stainless" ones.

I feel like I have water dripping on me over here by the computer. Which is impossible as the roof slopes the wrong way and this area has a double roof. Knowing myself, I will feel like I have water dripping on me all day and night till this is fixed or it stops raining. Which it may have done.

I worked on the four poms you saw yesterday. Adding pages from old dictionaries (with pom definitions) to the backgrounds. They still look unfinished. So I am looking and deciding on any future moves. I tend to over correct and ruin good work. I still have no ideas for this year's cards, and that is beginning to worry me.

I sorted out two huge stacks (36 inches high) of fabric to give away to a crafter I met at Art Club. I sorted through my fabric closet and asked "would I buy this now?" and if I said no, it went on the pile. My daughter felt I should go back through and keep half. And I honestly told her that making bed quilts holds no portion of my interest. And I have the fabric set aside for at least 8 quilt projects (large ones) right now plus finishing 3 or 4 others which should be enough, if I decide to make quilts. Plus, I enjoy painting my own fabric now. And working small. And working small uses up almost no fabric. Those piles going away, feels like an anchor slipping off my foot.

The Gas Betty last night was wonderful. G was so happy. He likes meat. I tweaked the old remembered recipe with my new "chef" skills and it made a big difference. Watching all those cooking shows has improved my cooking. Watched the Top Chef finals and still unhappy that they made simple mistakes (over salting, under salting, under cooking). They should be better.

I'm going to lunch with my walking buddy in two hours. We haven't walked or talked in months. She is going through a rough patch with family problems. And she won't talk about them. So we will eat, drink and be merry. And ignore the 3000 pound gorilla.

The SUN! It stopped raining and the sun just showed up. I can still feel imaginary drips falling on me, here at the desk, far away from the leaking skylight and chimney.

Today, I have a lunch date, have to get the dog's new license, drop off books at library, think of something to wear to the company Christmas party on Sunday (no jeans) and the bank cocktail party on Thursday. Julia & Julie comes out on DVD on December 8. My bowl is full.

The roofer just called and a crew will be arriving anytime now. How's that for good fortune?

I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed to go to lunch. I'll walk the dog later.

Art Club, Poms and Dog Toys

Everyone was doing something unique last night at Art Club. Stamping cards, stitching owls, and making wooden collaged art for a show/sale. I made this card and worked on a paper collage in my workbook. I was more interested in talking.

I worked on three (four) new pomegranates since last time. The dark one you have seen before but now you can see how "dark" it really is. The upper right is the brush pen again with colored pencil. Lower left is brush pen without details as yet. Lower right is colored pencil and acrylic paint, so far. Even though this paper I purchased and am using here, says "watercolor" on the label, it isn't. I tried to paint another pom with my watercolors and the paper got all fuzzy. So that pom is in the garbage can.

Monkey contemplating the brown carpet thread used to sew his arm back on. All Riley's toys are now back in the toy basket. Spidey got his butt sewn closed, Beaver had his tummy sewn closed over new stuffing, Bunny had his entire midsection cut open, so I could stuff the squeaky tennis ball in, and then he was sewn back together and the unnamed bird (he was ripped apart pretty close to the time he arrived) is stuffed and ready to be chewed on again.

All this emergency medical attention was CLOSELY SUPERVISED by Riley. He sat and watched the progress of each stitch. Groaning and sighing when the repair seemed to take too long. At times, he stood by me and rested his head on my knee, to be closer to his beloved toys. And as each was completed, knotted and clipped, he would come over to take the toy from my hands and look them over. Toss them, give them a test chomp. His favorites (Spidey and Beaver) were taken to his dog bed and held tightly against his chest, between his front legs, with his chin resting on top. A deep sigh was his perfect expression of how much he missed these toys, which have been waiting for repairs for months. Bad Joanne.

G is back at work and I will be walking the dog today. It seems colder today but the sun is out. I have retired my thinner windbreakers to the hall closet and will be wearing the heavy thinsulate wind breaker from now on with various under layers. The down jacket being the warmest under layer and the new Orvis battleship gray sweatshirt being the medium layer. And gloves. And a scarf. And a hat. I have gloves, hat and scarf in different temperature levels, also. When it's 12 degrees, I sometimes wear everything. Two pair of gloves, for sure.

I am working on cooking stuff from the freezer again, so I can empty it. Tonight is Gas Betty. Really, it's Spaghetti with Meat Sauce but when my daughter was little, she called it Gas Betty, and that's been the "family" name for it ever since. I rarely make meat sauce anymore but it was a weekly item when I had children and teens living in the house. Last year, at this time, I had to try and remember some of these "family" recipes for my son, who requested written recipes as his Christmas gift. Godfather's Lasagna. Goulash with Spatzle. Gas Betty. Mexican Casserole. Meatloaf. Tuna Casserole with Potato Chips. Baked Meatballs. BBQ'ed Meatballs. Saturday Chicken. Parmesan Breaded Chicken Cutlets. Pierogi.

So, today's bowl will be filled with Gas Betty.

Note: This same daughter called a certain chicken "Chucky Fried".

It's December One

I worked hard yesterday, at work, and tried to stay warm. I brought a frozen container of soup for lunch and it thawed nicely in the "very powerful" microwave. So I had a nice, hot lunch. Then back to the even colder greenhouse and the "Christmas Room" which is actually a wire table on a tower of cement blocks, at the back of the greenhouse, next to uninsulated glass doors, which open alot. 40 degrees outside and 40 degrees inside. Yesterday was the "big delivery day" of ordered wreaths, points, trees and roping for commercial use. The library order was ready and it went out after I arrived with the credit card info. Two guys delivered 53 points to various doctor's offices. Point = Poinsettia.

I got to unload 6 carts of points, Christmas cactus, azaleas, and cyclamen. Very splashy colors. Red, white, pink. The greenhouse is a sea of points. At least 12 tables full.

We were selling quite a few wreaths and holiday boxes yesterday. So we were busy making fill ins and back up stock. Trying to "keep up" while doing everything else (watering and customer service). It's been cool and cloudy so the greenhouse is damp. No real need for anything but spot watering, clean up and row straightening. We like straight rows. I did get to discuss citrus care, Christmas cactus flowering lifespan and terrarium construction with customers.

Even though I had my journal ready, my stamps and stamp pads at hand, glue stick, paints and pom model all out on the dining room table (newly cleared for Thanksgiving dinner), I did none of those things. I had a hot shower, warmed up the remainder of the non-meat leftovers, turned on the evening news and then answered the phone and talked with G's brother for an hour (G was working EOM). R was making his annual "happy birthday" call. To say these two brothers aren't "close" doesn't even begin to describe their relationship. They are five years apart with no in between siblings. Two strangers who happened to have the same address. When people meet both (after having known one for a while) they are perplexed. They always think R is the older brother. He isn't. They think the "brother" thing is a joke. It isn't. They ask if they are step brothers. They aren't. One is blond, blue eyed, outgoing and naturally thin. The other burly, barrel chested, dark eyed and the complete opposite of outgoing. I like them both. R was doing chain saw carving for a few years (we have a beautiful black bear he carved) but stopped (they weren't selling) and is now thinking of learning how to paint. The Bob Ross method. He has been watching the public tv programs on late night television. R can stay up late. G is asleep by 8:30.

The sun is shining this morning. Riley has done his morning toilette, eaten breakfast and barked at the garbage truck. Now, Ri and square Bob are napping in the sunshine until G wakes up. Which will be around 10am. I am deciding if I want oatmeal or shredded wheat for my breakfast.

Art Club this evening. I have crackers and plan to make a chutney cheese spread to share while we make cards. The emails promise "lots of stamps". I still have no clear idea on my own card design. I do want to stitch, but not that thrilled about poking holes in the card stock with an awl. The card carrier that I purchased to hold the art is pretty elaborate so the Tree needs to be simple, graphic and clearly a Tree. I do have a large enough piece of carving material and could carve a tree. And stamp it. No stitching.

My bowl this morning will be filled with oatmeal. My head with ideas.

End Of the Month

November is close to being gone. Where did it go? Each and everyday this month has seemed to be about 20 minutes long. I have breakfast and then it's time for bed. I wish the days in January and February were this speedy.

But I have plans for this winter. Walls to paint. Stuff to move. Garbage bags and recycling cans to fill. I'm making a list and setting "do-able" daily deadlines. I also have quilts to make and one to finish. Promises to keep. And dog toys to repair (especially bunny).

Yesterday I bought a $10 cheapo collection of 12 colors of stamp pads and I got out my handcarved eraser alphabet and stamped three pages in my journal. I spelled words wrong in my exuberance but so what? I remembered how much I love my very own ABC stamps. I even dug around in the greeting card drawer and found an "art" card with pomegranates. Cool. G is doing EOM paperwork from 4 pm to 2 am so it will be a good night to carve a new stamp. A Pom.

Last night I settled in with the library rented DVD of Pride and Prejudice and the damned thing started skipping and stopping after the first 45 minutes. By then I was hooked, so G and I stopped and started, skipped etc. till the end. What a disappointment. I don't have a book to read right now, so I guess I'll return to sewing circles and squares if my eyes aren't sleepy in the evenings. Until I get a book.

I also purchased some 8 by 5 sheets of watercolor paper for my Christmas Tree cards. I still don't have any ideas for what I will be creating this year for the annual edition of 10. The suspense is killing me.

So, guess what, my bowl today is filled with "suspense". My life is a mystery. Today. I don't even know what my lunch will be. Now, that's scary.

The Best Gift Ever

G brought home a few feet of construction fencing. For me. I have wanted some of this orange "art supply" ever since I first saw Jeanne Williamson's work in the Quilt National book several years ago. I have asked for a small piece at various construction sites and have been told "no". I have no idea how to use it, as I have never been this close to orange construction fencing, so I will just use it as the ideas come to me. I am very intrigued.

The sun is shining today. Yesterday was cold, dark, wet and blustery. Gusts of strong wind were hitting the greenhouse walls all day yesterday. It sounded like a war zone. No rain was dripping into the greenhouse from the roof. Not as cold as Friday. I was working with cold, wet wreaths all day. Making State of Maine wreaths, red bow wreaths, making decorated wreaths. For about an hour, the floral employee was standing next to me making bows. That was nice. I also got to pot up many new plants for happy customers. And I wished them happy holidays. It was a good day, but I was very tired when I got home and happy to still have turkey leftovers in the fridge for a quick, delicious dinner. I made fresh gravy. We had pie. I had a lovely, hot shower. Our son called to wish his dad a happy birthday and he made his father laugh. Wonderful.

I got an email from Art Club and we are scheduled to make cards on Tuesday evening. I have cards that need to be made. This sounds like a good meeting to attend and start working on my 10 cards. And then I can show them to you and mail them.

My pomegranate is getting soft. I may need to buy a new one. Or I can paint it as it rots and collapses onto itself in a puddle of red juices.

We're having toast for breakfast with coffee and the CBS Morning Show which I think is a collection of repeated stories. I have my new charcoal Orvis sweatshirt on. Thick and warm with kangaroo pockets to fill with kleenex or use to warm my hands. This is my first time wearing it. I may be too warm.

I have no idea what G and I will be doing today. The dog will need his walk. I have a movie I want to watch. Pride and Prejudice. I have my paints ready to use on the composting pom. And did I mention the sun was shining?

Happy Birthday G!

I wish you had the day off, but that's not the way it is for us, yet. I am glad that you had two days off before today, roast turkey, long walks in the woods with your best pal Riley and naps together on Riley's dog bed. All the stuff you love to do. We even had pie.

This has been a better year for you, I think. You enjoy the work you are doing, are valued for it and, I hope, the time spent at home is relaxing. After you get the "honey do" list done, that is. You have your dog, finally. And you have me, for better or worse.

So, Happy Birthday and I hope your bowl today and in the coming year is filled with contentment. You've filled that bowl with adventure, travel, hard work, worry, frustration and even anger in past years. I think contentment would be lovely right about now.

A thought to share

"Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered
with your old nonsense."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pomegranate One, Two, Three

As is the case with Blogger uploads, this is Three. Black gesso over a smoother than I like, watercolor paper. Then I use Prismacolor pencils. It's much darker in person. The camera tends to make everything brighter.

This is One. It is blurry. I took the picture several times and will try again at some point. It's a simple image and quite nice when in focus. I used my brush pen.

Two. Taken directly after taking One. Why does one blur and the other come sharp? I like the Japanese quality of this image. I was going to go back in and paint color over One and Two but now that I see them here, I will leave them be. There will color enough in the coming days.

The days are flying by. Yesterday was about 20 minutes long. I stopped at the library twice. Had long conversations with former co-workers on a range of subjects. The second time I returned a book that was overdue, driving home and back, for it. I also stopped, for a second time, at the grocery to get a pie pumpkin. Now that it is official, and we have a canned pumpkin shortage, the shelves at my supermarket have been sacked and pillaged of every can of pumpkin, and there was plenty on Thursday of last week. It's strange that the bakery and frozen pie section is filled with pumpkin pies and increased prices.

I was baking potatoes for dinner anyway, so I cored and quartered my $4 pumpkin (4 pounds) and baked it along side the potatoes. Then I let it steam under foil until after dinner and then smooshed it all up and let it drain in a sieve to get even denser. Now I have two containers of 2 cups each, of pumpkin for pies. I had to do it this way when we lived in Germany, but with regular, not pie, pumpkins. Very watery. Had to really let it cook down and evaporate the water. But the pies were very good after we got used to the differences. I hope the people who needed 12 cans of pumpkin in their pantry are happy.

Since the weather is too warm for me to use the sunporch as an auxillary refrigerator, I will not be brining the turkey. I usually put the turkey and brine in a large bag, inside a bucket, and out on the porch overnight. But it's not 20 degrees out there this week. And I don't want to cook and serve bad turkey. I do have to roast the extra drumsticks I bought for stock, anyway. I wanted wings or thighs but all they had were drumsticks.

Donny won on Dancing with the Stars and his whole family came out to hug him. G says there are 8 children, some pretty grown up. Kelly came in third and Ozzie was the proud papa along with Sharon and Jack. The show was too long and Whitney Houston was terrible. I stayed up to watch the TiVoed Good Wife which is turning out to be very good, indeed.

Well, most of today's 20 minutes has already passed me by, so I must get on with the cooking prep for tomorrow. Make the pie and roast the turkey legs. I can also get the sweet potatoes baked, peeled and loaded into the baking dish with butter and brown sugar.

Our menu: Roasted Turkey, Gravy, Stuffing, Cranberry Sauce, Brussels Sprouts, Acorn Squash halves, Sweet Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Mashed Potatoes and Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream. Sam is bringing the rolls. Yes, this is quite a lot of food for three people. But two of us will be eating (and not cooking) until at least Monday. And that's something to be thankful for since we will be working Friday and Saturday.

My bowl today is filled with thoughts of friends and family, past and present. May peace and good health be with you, dear readers, tomorrow and every day.

pomegranate

The adventure begins. I'm not going to limit myself to just watercolor images of the pomegranate (and I need to practice spelling this word) but will try out any number of "journaling" art adventures. This pom was drawn with my new Staedtler Mars brush pen (in my paper journal). I love the uneven lines that I first noticed in a drawing in the New York Times and posted in one of my collage attempts (here would be a good place to link). I have a square block of watercolor paper which I will paint with the new black gesso, or white gesso, or cover with glued on paper collage. I will even paint with watercolor. Draw with oil sticks. Print with a pomegranate stamp I cut myself (in future). In other words. I will do everything and anything as the mood finds me.

I have returned to the paper journal so there will be less "navel gazing" on the blog. It's better that way, I think.

Yesterday we both had long and tiring days at work, so it was nice to have leftover pizza from Saturday to warm up in the oven and eat while watching the 6:30 news. Dancing w/ Stars was on last night and the judges' love affair (10's) with Mya mystifies G and I. Kelly's first dance was wonderful and she deserved a better score. That sweetheart neckline looks fantastic on her. If I was younger, I might try for that look this Christmas.

I have to go to the library to pick up and drop off books and then to the grocery for last minute items for the "big dinner" on Thursday. Pumpkin (in short supply), cream, eggs, Brussels Sprouts, squash and stuff to make green bean casserole. I like it. I want it. I also need parsley and some turkey "parts" to roast to make stock for gravy. My daughter wants me to brine the turkey this year. The drippings in the roasting pan will be too salty for gravy so I need to work around that culinary fact.

Riley and I will be having a walk after lunch. I CANNOT believe the weather we are having here in Maine. 50 degrees. And last year, at this time, we had HIGHS of 20 to 30 degrees. I am not complaining. It feels great not to already be heavily bundled in sweaters, coats, scarves and gloves each time I go outdoors. I have been looking forward to wearing my new birthday scarf (made by my daughter) for the first time. But I can wait a while longer. Perhaps this weather is a forerunner to the future here in Maine?

My Gingerbread House is going to work with G on Friday for the holidays. I will try and get a picture for the blog before it leaves, in case you have forgotten what it looks like. It really is cute.

I didn't purchase the Boxwood Tree I made. Just didn't want it. And I didn't purchase a swag for the front door. I may build my own, at work, on Friday. The natural, wild firs, haven't arrived at the greenhouse yet. I want one of those. Wide spaces to fill with ornaments. I'm ready for a "little Christmas" here at home.

I may purchase more butter for cookies. Christmas cookies. We drew names for the Secret Santa at work and I have decided what I want to purchase for the gift. Now to find it. I may have to go to Amazon.com.

My bowl today is filled with a variety of choices. Susie Monday mentions MDR, the minimum daily requirement of certain things, that she needs to stay balanced. Walks with her coon dog, hand sewing, cooking, meditative time, and something else, which I have to go back and check. Susie Monday. I will add her to the list in the sidebar. Note: Susie tends to her email of 300 or so each day. No wonder I forgot that. I have an email in box of two or three.

On Sunday We Vacuum and Iron and Shop

Yes, indeed. G got all the dog hair up and I starched his work week shirts. G also had seen a small note I wrote in my notepad next to the phone. "I want to go to the Art Supply". So we did.

I purchased black gesso (and white) because Yellow Daisy wrote telling me (and everyone who reads) that I would love black gesso. Roz mentioned her Pentel brush pen. The AS (art supply) does not carry Pentel anything so I purchased a different, but still lovely, brand. In black. I'm hoping there is magical drawing ability built into the pen. A new watercolor brush from Germany (with magical painting ability, built in). Dye for the Goodwill cashmere sweater in yucky golden beige. The dye is olive which should turn the golden beige sweater (and a bunch of fabric) a lovely yellowish olive green which I particularly like. And two SQUARE watercolor pads. I thought the Pom would look especially good painted on a square pad since the Pom is very round. I also got a traveling journal suitable for low moisture watercolor. No wet in wet.

I did not purchase the watercolor gouache set for $47. Nor the Magnani Annigoni 100% rag paper with wool flecks. AS is rather pedestrian when it comes to Italian paper. No glue sticks at AS either. And I didn't get the Quattro graph paper because I could not think why I wanted it. No handmade journals at AS.

Then we went next door to the bakery and I had a sample chunk of Pumpkin Wheat with a big scoop of soft honey butter. The butter scoop was only big when in proportion to the sample of bread which was small. My pants are finally getting looser and I don't want to mess this up, again.

Did I tell you that G took apart his morning bagel toaster oven on Wednesday? It wasn't doing the usual infrared thing where it blinds you with this intermittent red glow while toasting the bagel. So G took the oven completely apart (something that isn't meant to happen in the home). And then the oven was reluctant to be reassembled. Yes, we'll say that. Eventually, it did get back together but still no blinding red infrared glow.

Friday evening, while very tired and eating pizza and reading the paper, I noticed that Big Lots had the exact same oven/toaster for sale (how often does THAT happen?), so G went out this morning and purchased a NEW infrared oven. And plugged it in to make sure it glows. "Well, that's your birthday gift", I said, because I noticed the ad in the paper, and all.

We also went out to eat and had the most obnoxious waiter in the world. He kept coming over and wanting to be best friends. I bet he is always begging strangers to let him be their friend on Facebook. We gave him a small tip and I wrote on the receipt that he needs to work on his service skills and dial it down on the happy chatting. He even complimented me on the crayon drawing I did of three jam jars on the paper table covering.

This week we will be drawing names for the Secret Santa gift exchange at work. I like everyone at work but some will be easier to shop for than others. We'll see what happens. $15. I had to call into work to find out what my schedule is for the week. See. I was THAT tired. Didn't even check the schedule.

My post is much more upbeat today, huh? That's because all the "other stuff" is now safely in the written journal. I discovered I haven't written in my journal since September 14th. So I went looking for it and now have the journal out where I can get to it, along with scissors and a glue stick for the little paper collages I put on the left hand pages, (verso)? I am adding my new brush pen to the glue stick and scissors.

I feel really bouncy and wonder if that "friendly waiter" gave me the caffeine free diet Coke?

I Am So Tired

It was a long day at work. Not that busy, so a lot of stand around and wait in between customers. I did get to make a Boxwood Tree in the 2 pm class. The 10 am class was packed. Seventeen or eighteen women busy clipping and designing their table top trees. Quite the deal as the class and materials was only $20 and they each went home with a cute little tree.

While they were crafting, I was watering the greenhouse. Trying not to get the crafters wet with the hose. And I made two pots of coffee for the refreshments table in the garden center.

We got two truckloads of Christmas trees and the guys had to unload, tag and set up all the trees. It's beginning to look like Christmas. Not so much, as the weather was shirt sleeve warm again today. High 50's.

I got home and started making the pizzas. Mine just came out of the oven and it's 7 pm. There's ice cream for dessert. I made mushroom, olive and onion on whole wheat for myself. Now if I can work up enough energy to cut it into slices.

G had a good sales day, over projection, so he was short on labor, and he is exhausted, also. I think G be going to bed early and I'll watch my West Wing and cooking shows and fall asleep on the couch with the dog.

I have a project to work on tomorrow and a wonderful little handmade book to play with. A gift from a fellow artist, co worker and new reader of this blog. Welcome, N!

Now I'm going to eat some pizza.

Winter Watercolor Model

Pears are way more interesting with their long necks and stems but I chose this nice pomegranate instead. I have to work on dulling the shiny surface. I had posed it on a nice soft nest of folded white cotton but the photos came out blurred. So you get just the pom and it's multi faceted shadow.

After work I'll go find my paper and paints. And brush roll. And set up a morning painting arrangement. Pears are easier to paint. This pom surface will be difficult and sooner than later, I will be cutting it open. The pom may have a secondary roll in my work. The surrounding areas may be more interesting to paint. We'll see. I'm intrigued.

Riley and I had a good day yesterday and a lovely walk. He really is a very sweet and intelligent dog. I love him. I never though I would say that about a dog. Remind me that I need some carpet thread to sew up the tummies on several of his toy animals.

It's raining (gusty, blowing rain) and I am going into work today. And the pants I am wearing are not pulled tight over my waist and they are not riding high in the back (if you know what I mean) so I am more comfortable than I have been in quite awhile. And these aren't the new baggy pants which I may return to Goodwill unaltered.

I am going to eat my breakfast, pack my soup up for lunch and take the dog to day care. I think it's going to be an excellent day.

My bowl today is open to optimistic thinking.

Frosty Morning

I took the camera this morning when I let Riley out to do "his business" and found such lovely frosted beauty outside in my very own backyard. Aren't the colors wonderful?

Riley made an impression on the frosted deck boards. Such cute little foot (pad) prints. All his sticks were coated with frost and his plastic bucket was smoking as it warmed in the sun. I couldn't get a picture of that.

I still have flowers. Dianthus and some frozen roses. They came out as blurred photos but I may try again later. When it's not so cold.

Yesterday was quite interesting. I visited the library and found several people to catch up with, took a greenhouse holiday order for the library and found some reading material. I visited Goodwill and found a pair of soft baggy cotton pants to change out with my jammies for "daytime" and another, too big, pair of green corduroy pants which will be undergoing some cutting and stitching to become baggy work pants. I surrender. I can't work in binding pants. And even though this is now 14 days into the new diet plan (with a few meals that were definitely NOT low calorie)--I don't see one tiny bit of difference in how my clothing fits. I will continue on this path but it is way beyond depressing. I may have to try a 30 day gym membership just to use the rowing machine.

Yesterday between 5 and 6 pm, G and I moved all the very heavy furniture that I am giving to my daughter's friend down from the second floor, into the garage. It inv0lved geometry, deductive thinking, physics and a good bit of luck. When the huge, all wood dresser slid all too quickly down the stairs (momentum and gravity), and hit G in the head, well, let me just say, from the top of the stairs, it all looked VERY disturbing. But G assured me it could have been much worse. We even got the king box springs, frame and mattress down there. Pretty good for two 63 year olds.

We never got around to discussing our home owners policy with our agent or buying a new refrigerator. And I didn't get into Portland to visit the Art Supply where I hope to find a brush pen and a handmade journal. I might be better off buying one from one of the people whose blogs I read. Like Roz. If you haven't noticed, I have some new blogs on my list. I love Yellow Daisy for easy art projects. I now have brayers and water soluble printing inks. I may even attempt a Mandala. Roz sets the standard for my future journal collage attempts. Spirit Cloth, Jude Hill, is leading me to better and more expressive, hand work. My own Musketeers.

This morning I also got a great start with Terry's post on Sew It Goes. 10,000 hours of preparation in order to learn something. This goes along with the 100 paintings in order to learn how to paint. I think the art quilters who make a piece a day (and the one a day painters) have found the true artistic exercise. It is hard to do. I painted a red pear every morning one winter. Just a pad of small water color paper, a plate, a jar of water and one brush. And a red pear. Each morning, I sat and looked at the pear and then started that morning's painting. I have then framed. Not great art. Just red pears. My red pears. I may purchase a pomegranate when I go grocery shopping later today. Or a rutabaga. And tear some watercolor sheets into small squares. Morning meditative painting.

I would have linked to all these sites but I have forgotten which symbol at the top here is the one that gives me the cue. I'm sure I saved the email that told me how to do it. I have to look it up. I can always come back and edit.

My bowl today will be filled with Lentil Soup I made yesterday. On the original 365 day diet, I ate a great deal of lentil soup. 138 calories per cup. I think you could eat as much soup as you wanted each day and not go over 1200. Nine cups of lentil soup. I have two cups each packed up to take for lunch on Friday and Saturday. And some Beano.

Cold Comfort

Riley is waiting for G to wake up. He has his back up against the baseboard heater and he has his stuffed lamb available in case he wants to rest his head. A bone to chew on and the ever present hippy, who travels everywhere with Riley, near to paw. I needed to replace some of the chewed up beach towels we cover the dog bed with and found this polka dot towel at Goodwill. Not a beach towel, but I like it. Riley has already chewed a hole into the edge.

Finding good quality beach towels is getting almost as difficult as finding underpants that fit. I don't want to get into THAT subject this morning.

I am now up to date with my West Wing episodes. I saw the one where CJ has root canal at the dentist and returns to the office sounding like Bugs Bunny. That cwazy wabbit. And has to let Josh do the press briefing. I think the assassination attempt on Charlie is next and Josh gets shot. I remember parts of this from when I only watched WW on my days off and hadn't gotten TiVo involved yet. I've been told I should watch Brothers and Sisters to see Rob Lowe. But there are actors on that show who irritate me. So, no.

The sun is still shining here in Maine and the day time temps are still flirting with 50 degrees which is very weird for almost Thanksgiving. G and I have to move furniture from the attic to the garage for pick up on Saturday. I am giving a bedroom set and a chair to a friend of my daughter to set up housekeeping in a fresh new apartment. Fresh new start. They are arriving on Saturday to pick up the stuff and G and I will be at work. So I want to prep the items and not have too many people wandering all over my home while I'm away. Control issues.

Dancing with the Stars last night kept Donny & Kelly so Mya will be the winner. Since she is the only one to score tens and the only one who can actually dance. The Polish swimsuit model should have had a chance but no one knows her (and Playboy didn't help) and she probably doesn't get enough phone votes. I was wrong last season when that gorgeous French guy (now on Brothers and Sisters) lost to the little chubby Olympic teenager. I absolutely hate it when the best doesn't win. When most popular (well known) wins instead. It's just wrong. It happens in the art and quilt show world also. Name recognition.

We might go buy a refrigerator today. Maybe. And go to the library. And have lunch at Ruby Tuesday later so I don't have to cook again. G ordered take out last night.

G is awake and making breakfast for himself. Coffee, juice, yogurt and a bagel with two kinds of jelly or jam. Must be nice. I only have to decide if I want oatmeal (hot) or shredded wheat (cold) for breakfast. Limited options. Lunch is soup (hot) or salad (cold). I need to make some more soup for lunches at work. Black bean or lentil. I've already had butternut bisque and bean and escarole. And there's the possibility of split pea with carrots and potato cubes. I'm feeling more adventurous already.

My bowl today is filled with possibilities. I like that.

My Life's Work: No Burning Desire

I've had two cups of coffee. Done three loads of laundry. Stripped the sheets off the bed. Folded one load of laundry. Scrubbed the toilet in my bath with bleach. Watched two episodes of West Wing. Eaten a bowl of shredded wheat while reading the New York Times Book Section from November 8th. Hand washed a sweater vest. Taken three photographs and deleted two. Watched the dog bark at the oil delivery of 94 gallons of oil @ $2.649 per.

My life is mundane. Dull. A waste of a good education. A waste of what is left of my life. Would there be anything I have done today that would be missed? By anyone?

You could say my husband but he is easily comforted by the dry cleaner, dog day care and a cleaning service. In other words, who cares?

A few years ago, I thought a few thousand dollars would give me the means and opportunity to return to Art School and finish my degree or at least make some ceramic bowls and learn how to paint in oils. I now have that "few thousand dollars" and I'm not that sure this is the path I want to trod. I still would like to throw a few bowls (for my soup and shredded wheat) and learn how to paint in oils but I don't want to go back to school bad enough to drive into Portland every day. I don't like driving.

I learned to drive too late in life and didn't do enough of it to lose the fear of traffic, changing lanes and getting lost. And my nighttime vision is very bad.

There is a very snooty liberal arts college right here in my little town. It has an art department. It also has hoops and more hoops to jump through to even enter a building, let alone use the pottery wheel. I don't think I am intellectual or needy enough to qualify.

I read a novel "Map of the World" I think, by a woman in mid life who applied to this college--wrote a long and detailed saga of her life (repeatedly) until they granted her a full scholarship into their halls. And education and a degree followed. I don't have her story.

I would just write about the bowls, oil paints and the lust in my heart for the intaglio printing press. The lust. Not the burning desire or need. I think they might listen if I had the burning desire. But I don't. Or the consuming need to create, paint, sew or make things. I think this means, that while I am good at making art, I am NOT an artist. I have tried to never use the title "artist" to describe myself. To thy own self be true.

I have mostly made my life's work doing not much of anything. And having very little to show for that life, spent that way. I cook. I clean (sort of). I wash and iron. I raised children. I read books. I watched television. I worked at menial public service jobs. I made friends and kept all of them for over 30 and nearly 40 years. I planted seeds and tended many gardens. I've made several dozen pieces of fabric art and less of painted paper. I carved an alphabet (crudely) out of rubber erasers. I built a Spooky House out of a cardboard box and a Gingerbread House out of a dollhouse and fake candy. I know how to save money but I'm not very good at making it earn more for me. I like ice cream and raspberry jelly donuts.

I had my horoscope done many years ago. The natal chart. My life's work (and some mental illness) was to be a mother. So, I think, it's one of my children who has "big work to do in life". The person reading my chart, when asked by me for what I am supposed to do in life (destiny), told me I had a "free pass" to do anything or nothing. It didn't matter. My life, after being a mother, didn't matter. I wasn't going to change or affect whatever happens in my lifetime. Isn't that sad? And pretty normal. I was listening to the tape recording a few years ago and it was surprising to hear the woman say that "if you ever were interested in making quilts, you wouldn't use a pattern, you would make it up as you went". At that point, I had never even thought about making a quilt. I did think about it 10 years later. Sans pattern. Of course.

Anyway, here I am this morning, sun shining, in my red robe, questioning my existence. My coffee has grown cold for the second time. The dog is outside but his internal clock is ticking and says "lunch" so I must go and feed him.

Monday, November 16

No art yesterday. We drove to BJ's to activate my "free" two month membership. They tried to bait and switch me to a paid membership but I knew this was the only time I was going to shop there. Our Maine BJ's in Auburn is rundown and crappy. I still spent over $200 but now have BIG containers of things I always buy at the grocery. Like a 32 ounce package of chocolate chips. And a 2 pound bag of Craisins. And 30 rolls of toilet paper.

Then we drove to our Mexican restaurant and had a "so-so" meal. I had to send my plate back and then it took what seemed like 30 minutes for the new plate to arrive. G was finished eating when my food was placed in front of me.

I sat down and read another book straight through. 206 Bones by Kathy Reichs. Not awful. Not great. I now have the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo to read. I think it will take longer.

My knee is bruised but I am having no problems walking or sleeping. No pain, so far. We'll see what happens at work today. Can't decide what to wear to work-- will it be warm or cold in the greenhouse? So I am taking one of everything, wardrobe wise.

The Orvis clothing shrunk in the wash and dry. No surprise. So I was correct to buy larger than needed. And I don't think I will order anything other than a new embroidered collar for Riley (which they will likely get wrong) from Orvis in future. Now that I know the clothing is made in China. Perhaps I should finally learn how to make my own clothes since this is the only way to get "made in the USA" clothing. The three tops will likely last 5 or more years so no rush. I may get hit by a bus by then and not need any future clothing.

My bowl was filled with shredded wheat this morning. A good day, so far. And the sun is shining.

Sunday Sewing

Today is mine. To do with as I please. All the laundry is done and I just have a few shirts to starch and iron for G. Supper is BBQ pork burritos with fresh guacamole. I have a book to read, circles to stitch and scraps of fabric that I can stitch into a collage or even a quilt. I can even use already made fabric collage pieces in a new, larger piece. That idea is very interesting.

I didn't eat ANY cookies at the Christmas Open House yesterday, but did eat pizza at lunchtime. Which translated to no supper last night.

I also tripped over bags of lime on the floor in the gift shop, while delivering a newly repotted cyclamen to a customer. Fell, hard, right on my knees. Dropped the pot. So when I was finally back on my feet, I brushed myself off and hurried to repot the plant again. And check it out for any damage from it's bounce on the floor. Only my left knee hurts, and not as much as I had thought. I know it will be a terrible bruise.

Most of my order from Orvis came yesterday. All made in China. If I had known that, I wouldn't have ordered. No matter how cute the clothes or how much I like the shawl collar in winter. I also purchased the XL size, since Orvis clothing is always cut smaller than usual. And, of course, this time the items ran wider. So, into the wash and dryer to see what size they will be with normal, in this house, laundry practices. And I can always take the side seams in and make them smaller. Like I have done with all the 2X stuff I had when I was large and still wear today.

We had water dripping down off the skylight and onto the dinner table last night. It was raining real hard (outside) all night. Today is supposed to be dry and 62. Global warming. It's November in Maine and it's 62.

G and I are going to take it easy today. Riley is monitoring small wildlife in the backyard. G may take out the ladder and caulk around the skylights but he will take the dog for a long walk in the woods.

My bowl today is filled with restful activity.

Cookies

Today is the first day of our Holiday Weekend Sale at work. And we are serving cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. I will try NOT to eat any cookies today. I did eat cookies last Christmas and that was the beginning of the weight gain, tight clothes and resulting loathing. Well, actually the Bacon Pizzas in the summer were more likely the cause. But, this morning, it was cookies.

And management is serving pizza for lunch. As a "gift" to us and also to make sure no one goes "off the reservation" for lunch and therefore can't be interrupted while eating. Many times. I have had customers come right into the lunchroom and ask me questions. And the public restrooms are right there in our lunchroom. Can you all say "ewh!"

It is 40 degrees this morning. I am taking many different kinds of clothing to work. Just in case. And it is going to rain and be very dark when I drive home. I am going to be very eager to take a hot shower and slip into my jammies this evening.

I retrieved two "missed" episodes of West Wing from the deleted file and watched them last night. So glad I thought to look there. They were excellent episodes. Josh and Sam. Lots of background stuff that makes the characters fully dimensional.

My bowl today was full of shredded wheat. It keeps me full longer than oatmeal.

Remembrance & Regrets

This time of year, October to December, brings to mind the people, friends and family, I have lost this past three years. In October and December. One in each of the past three years. I have their pictures on my bulletin board, right here to my left. Beverly. Gregor. My dad. I miss them. I have regrets. We do what we can, and then, when they are gone, we regret not having done more. More time, more phone calls, more visits. What did any of it cost, but my time.

Is there someone in your lives that would love to spend time with you? Hear from you? Then do it. Right now. Have more remembrance and less regret when they are gone.

Anyway, I am melancholic this time of year. I am also looking up all the multi syllable words in this post for spelling. I used to be an excellent speller.

Today, I caught up on my West Wing episodes and cried through two of them. I managed to see another holiday (Christmas) episode with the sparkly Christmas lights and piles of gift wrapped presents. Christmas always looks so much better on television. I also walked the dog today. Ate soup for lunch. Did a load of laundry. Ate a bag of whole grain chips.

This is day eight of the 365 days of better eating choices. The bag of chips was me feeling sad and crying while watching West Wing. My only consolation is that it could have been MUCH worse. The bag could have been much larger and I could have gotten up to get some cheese to go with the chips. I had wanted to cook some more of the tiny pasta to go in the soup but drew the line. And there is always tomorrow.

I think I'll find something else to do; warm up a cup of coffee, take a nice hot shower and put my pajamas on. I'll probably feel much better. And I'll make a nice salad for supper if and when I feel hungry.

When shall we live, if not now. Seneca

A Little Christmas Prep

As usual. I saw this idea in my latest Pottery Barn catalog. Remember the Advent Linen Bulletin Board of Christmas 2007? Well this is a set of small clay pots with tiny Norfolk pine babies and moss I scraped off the cement blocks holding up the perennial tables at work. One of the $4.99 foliage pots had six little stems jammed together so I very gently knocked the dirt off and separated the roots, potted them in new clay pots and topped with a patchwork of mosses. The original Pottery Barn display had seven pots and what we professionals @work think is just tips off a fir tree. No roots. My six pots are contained by a large terracotta saucer. the Pottery Barn pots are arranged on a large slab of tree trunk. This tiny forest of trees, with my discount, came to $8.01. I plan to display these trees on my coffee table, dining table etc. Wherever I need a "little" Christmas centerpiece. And add candles in short crystal glasses.

I skipped Art Club last evening and served a mini Thanksgiving dinner to my husband, who adores Thanksgiving dinner because he was born on Thanksgiving Day, in time for dinner. I purchased a roasted turkey breast from the grocery deli, a can of Stove Top, 6 sweet potatoes to bake, some broccoli (the Brussels sprouts were too large), Knorr Roasted Turkey gravy mix and a can of store brand cranberry sauce. Next time, and there will be a few more of these meals this season, I'm going with Ocean Spray. It just has a fuller cranberry flavor.

Then I did something I ADORE! I read a book. All the way from start to finish (at 1:52 am). Mary Kay Andrews "The Fixer Upper". Frothy but with antiques, home dec and romance. I feel rejuvenated.

I have a "whole lotta" pork in the crock pot out on the sunporch slow cooking it's way to pulled pork goodness. I know it's not really "pulled pork" but I love the stuff. And I'll call it that if I want. As soon as I finish writing this post, I have to dump it all out and fork shred the meat and add BBQ sauce and let it cook for 8 more hours. I don't like the dumping and shredding mess in the morning. I don't have the stomach for it.

G has today off and he and Riley have gone out for their walk. G has his newly tuned up hearing aids in so he'll be having a "new and improved" walk and will be able to hear what the dog hears. Riley has been chasing a cat out of our yard. Where the cat lives is anyone's guess. So the walk will be interesting.

I now have 6 West Wing episodes unwatched along with House, NCIS and Good Wife from yesterday. Good thing Wednesdays are terrible nights for television. Except for Top Chef.

No new art to report or show. I have been reading art blogs though, trying to get back into the artist mind frame. I slip away from it for long periods of time and it's getting harder and harder to reenter. It's all learned, intuitive gestures and movement. And not doing the work leads to not being able to do the work. Terry ( Sew it Goes)has given me some ideas on reworking older, unfinished pieces, into new work. I've been thinking about this idea for a few hours. "What If" ing (Jude in Spirit Cloth)to try out a few hand sewing things in my head. And Deborah showed me pieces using heavy felt instead of batting. Changes the texture and "body" of the work which I liked very much. So I have many new paths to follow.

And I have my annual limited series of ten Christmas Trees to make and send out as cards. What will I create for this year? The hardest part of this series each year is choosing what materials I will use and what technique to work with. I've used watercolors, pastels, fabric and paper collage. Lots to think about.

Yesterday's Art

I'm working on my Friend of Twelve by Twelve piece for "twelve". Nine circles in a grid and then three more smaller circles to total 12. I found that most of my pieces had black and white in them, so there is a connective thread through the series. A few may need to be reworked. But the 12 should be interesting to view as a whole. I'm trying to finish this series before the 12-12 deadline for the "pink" theme is due. I just realized that the last piece in this new series will be completed on 12-12-12. Duh!

I have a long list of "things to do" today. None of them things I really want to do. I'm working on clearing out the freezer and fridge so I can eventually buy my new fridge and have it delivered. My Christmas present to myself. I want to start fresh with all new food inside the sparkly new fridge. Today, I removed the large package of pork and plan to put it into the crock pot tonight for pulled pork tomorrow. I can serve it with pasta, on a Kaiser roll, rolled in tortillas, on nacho chips or in a pile on a mixed greens salad (my favorite way). Lots of possibilities.

So: laundry; library; Loew's for Scotch tape (buy one, get one free); grocery for tonight's dinner for G; bank; dog walk; bulb planting; perennial planting; and then Art Club. I may even stop in at Goodwill to drop off the pile of clothing I have to donate and see what they have - I want an old worn in down vest. I will have FOUR episodes of West Wing on the TiVo that I haven't had time to watch. I am also ordering three new tops for the winter. With nice shawl collars. My favorite style of collar, which just happens to be in fashion right this minute. I want to get some to have for the next few years, when they won't be in fashion.

Time flies.

My bowl this morning was full of mini shredded wheat, plain not sweetened, and 1% milk. A treat.