Thursday, November 12, 2009

Remembrance & Regrets

This time of year, October to December, brings to mind the people, friends and family, I have lost this past three years. In October and December. One in each of the past three years. I have their pictures on my bulletin board, right here to my left. Beverly. Gregor. My dad. I miss them. I have regrets. We do what we can, and then, when they are gone, we regret not having done more. More time, more phone calls, more visits. What did any of it cost, but my time.

Is there someone in your lives that would love to spend time with you? Hear from you? Then do it. Right now. Have more remembrance and less regret when they are gone.

Anyway, I am melancholic this time of year. I am also looking up all the multi syllable words in this post for spelling. I used to be an excellent speller.

Today, I caught up on my West Wing episodes and cried through two of them. I managed to see another holiday (Christmas) episode with the sparkly Christmas lights and piles of gift wrapped presents. Christmas always looks so much better on television. I also walked the dog today. Ate soup for lunch. Did a load of laundry. Ate a bag of whole grain chips.

This is day eight of the 365 days of better eating choices. The bag of chips was me feeling sad and crying while watching West Wing. My only consolation is that it could have been MUCH worse. The bag could have been much larger and I could have gotten up to get some cheese to go with the chips. I had wanted to cook some more of the tiny pasta to go in the soup but drew the line. And there is always tomorrow.

I think I'll find something else to do; warm up a cup of coffee, take a nice hot shower and put my pajamas on. I'll probably feel much better. And I'll make a nice salad for supper if and when I feel hungry.

When shall we live, if not now. Seneca

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