Veggie Burgers

I had this recipe and wanted to try it out. Grated sweet potato, carrot and onion bound with one egg, one cup flour, teaspoon of baking powder, salt and pepper and garlic. Divide into 6 burgers and fry in hot oil four minutes on each side.

They are crispy and sort of candy like on the outside and still unfinished on the inside. But I have eaten two and enjoyed them a great deal. I think a lower temp in the frying and longer on each side and the center may get solid. It's amazing how wet one egg can be.

My friend Patty gave me the recipe and she brought her version one evening for dinner. She had added more egg and some leftover rice and cheese to hers.

Even with it's squishy center, these burgers are 100% better than the frozen ones at the grocery. Very tasty. Even better with bacon and fried onions, I bet.

It's hot and sunny today and I have the a/c on and only walked the dog one mile. It was too hot out there. He did all his business and is now laying flat out on the tile floor in the sunroom with the overhead fan cooling him off. I have the hose running in the veg garden and need to do a bit of weed pulling when I go shut the water off. I got some beans, 2 zucchini and a few misfit cucumbers. There are tomatoes on my plants but also evidence of blight.

Already we are seeing shortages of produce in the grocery. No spinach or tomatoes. Plenty of cucumbers and squash. From somewhere else. Lots of corn. Maine blueberries. Five dollar small watermelons.

We are having Mexican Casserole tonight with guacamole made with the two avocados I bought last week. They still look okay. I may or may not make my own enchilada sauce. I'm on the fence and may go to the store in a few minutes and pick up a can. Along with a package of pitas. I promised a co worker a veggie burger tomorrow. I think I will bake them for awhile in the lunchroom toaster oven before serving with lettuce and cucumbers.

I also need to buy more ice pops for the work freezer. Little treats for hot days.

Dog Days

Of summer and in my life right now. Riley and I are doing "morning" and letting G sleep in on his first weekend off since starting his new career. I don't have the "play time" thing going yet so Riley is a bit unsure of his morning routine. He does know that when I turn on the television to watch cooking shows or West Wing that nothing dog related is going to happen so he just sighs and takes a nap. Okay with me.

Riley likes to go out and relax on the back stoop and watch over the back yard. Even in 90 degree sun. YES. We are having summer weather, finally. I don't let him stay out there very long. If I go out with him, (which he likes very much), he will go out on the shaded lawn and chew his sticks. But only if I am also out on the lawn.

So, I was up and dressed by 7 am. And I have made the coffee and mixed and am baking a Kahlua Chocolate Cake for my daughter's birthday today. Later today, she and I will drive to Augusta to do some mall shopping and have a birthday lunch. Sam was born on the same weekend as the huge Woodstock event. Not at the event. But still, our very own little hippie rocker baby. She even had her own little love beads. Until I realized she could choke on them.

I read an entire book yesterday starting at about 3 pm. "Die For You" by Lisa Unger. Her first book "Beautiful Lies" was so exciting but this one, while it had a very interesting plot idea, just fell flat about 3/4 the way through. Where ARE the book editors? Really! Where are the editors. Nearly every new release I have read this year starts out great and then completely goes to crap at the 3/4 mark. Sometimes even at the halfway point. I guess the editors figure you "bought" the book and if you don't get a good read, so what. They have their money.

A friend gave me her copy of "Olive Kitteridge". A good, depressing read. I am so NOT going to read that. And she gave me "The Tattooed Girl" about racism and hate. Not going to read that one either. The books I do want to read are stalled in the library waiting game.

Some of the college kids have worked their last days. The schedule is in flux. We, the more senior employees, are waiting to see how things shake down for the fall season. We only have three "boys" right now. And our leader has promised "full time" to a few employees who are only getting 28 hours a week right now. I continue to be scheduled for two days a week (14 hours) and sometimes I get the 8 hours on Saturday also. Like next weekend.

I'm right on the edge of not wanting to continue working at the greenhouse. When we are busy, the days fly. But when business is slow, it's a LONG day. But Christmas is coming (isn't retail strange?) and Christmas was very exciting last year and it smells awesome. Then I get laid off for 3 months. I wonder what Christmas 2009 will be like? Will people buy things? We see a lot of "sale only" shopping at the greenhouse but still have quite a bit of full price buying. This may be the true test of whether the economy has turned the corner.

My cake is done and I poured the melted butter, sugar and Kahlua over it. And now all the cake has to do is cool for four hours. It's a very moist, dense, fudgey chocolate cake. Excellent with best quality vanilla ice cream. And birthday candles.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Wednesday, August 12

I like posting on Wednesdays. Wednesday's Child and all. Only one month and six days until my birthday. I love my birthday. You know that!

I am having a very lazy day today. I had the most puzzling dream and then remembered that on Monday I watched about 6 episodes of Mad Men. Which explains the dream. In the 60's, in a strange hotel with a strange man wearing suits. And a large amphibious creature working the front desk. And it was always twilight, never day time or night. The world of advertising.

Still watching episodes of West Wing. I am liking the President less and his staff more as the episodes go on. He's running for reelection. And the guy from NCIS was on the 2002 episode I watched this morning as a Secret Service guy protecting CJ from something. NCIS is my second favorite thing to watch this summer. Mainly because there isn't much Law and Order to be seen.

I visited the library this morning. We have had a shut down of the intra state library loan system whereby we borrow books from any library in Maine and a courier service shuttles totes of books around, sorts by library and delivers them to the borrowing library. The courier service quit. The state signed with another. After two weeks, they quit. The volume of books traveling is quite large. And my library is a huge borrower and lender. So we are left with only the books we have on our shelves (unless they were borrowed by another library before the couriers quit, in that case, they are still "somewhere" else). I want the new books I have ordered. Whine!!!! So I had to look on the shelves for something for me to read and more importantly, something for G to read. I have been selecting his books for years now. And he reads a lot of books. We are trying two new authors for G.

Then I went to the grocery and got onions, bell peppers and jalapenos to go with the zucchini from the garden to make more zucchini pickles. I have everything sliced and salted. In three hours I will be boiling water and cooking the vegetables in 3 cups of vinegar and 5 cups of sugar along with various spices. Canning time. Because it's hot and humid today. I sliced all the zucchini I had so that I can fill more than five pints today. I also bought vegetable sushi for my lunch. It was too much. I couldn't finish it.

My real estate agent left me an email message very late on Monday evening saying they were having a home inspection on Tuesday and she hoped the water had been turned back on. I called the water department in Ohio in the morning and left two messages and numbers for them to call me back. They didn't. And I haven't heard from the agent. I'm going to assume everything went well. It takes awhile to get the home inspection report.

The nervous tick in my eye has disappeared. My spider bite is healing. No redness or swelling. I'm trying to make an appointment for a haircut with a new stylist. No luck so far. I don't think anyone cuts hair on Wednesdays. I haven't walked the dog yet. Don't really want to but he's very sad about it so I guess I'll have to go out into the humid bug infested world and walk him.

G called me on his cell and then gave up, only the call connected already and didn't disconnect. I could hear the noises from the restaurant and I could hear him talking so I just kept yelling "HEY" and "HELLO" getting progressive louder each time and finally he noticed his phone had a voice inside it. That had to have been the most interesting thing that happened today.

Orange Hot

Another sunny day. I can't complain. After all that miserable cold and rain. We steamed lobsters yesterday for dinner. A co-worker is related to a lobsterman and she was selling lobsters for $4.50 each. So I bought 4. And then learned how to steam them. I know we over cooked them. Kind of. But they were nice and red and went well with the melted butter. Later, after washing the kitchen down and spraying room freshener, we drove out to see if we could get ice cream before Cote's closed for the evening. We made it.

On either Wednesday or Thursday I got a spider bite at work while I was washing down the greenhouse floors. I didn't think much of it until it started itching, leaking and until my ankle and leg started getting red and hot. Then I thought maybe I should pay attention. Friday evening I went to bed and my ankle hurt and was very hot. I promised myself a visit to the ER if it looked the same or worse Saturday morning. It looked better. It was still puffy but not red or hot. Today, it's still leaking but no swelling and no heat. Spider bites can be dangerous. This spider bite seems to be just like all the other bites I've gotten since moving to Maine.

I signed and returned the contract to sell the Ohio house. Tomorrow I have to call and have the water turned back on. And, of course, the BMV has rejected my application to transfer the Ohio title to a Maine title. Essentially, they want me to fill out a form that says I am selling the car to myself. Even though I gave them the probate release.

In other news of Maine stupidity, the road work on Maine street is coming to an end. Parts of a long stretch of Maine street were dug up for new sewers and rain water sewers. Now that they have done all this nice, new work, they are laying down a 3 inch layer of asphalt OVER repairs, potholes, repaired potholes and whatever else is in the street. First big snow and EVERY one of the underlying repairs will POP UP as the plow goes over and take the 3 inches of new asphalt plus more with it. They could have taken a week or so and ground the roadway down to a good surface and then put the asphalt down. But NO. That would be smart and they aren't smart. And if they had ground the surface down they wouldn't have to spend the next few weeks and months RAISING the curbs. Job security for government employees. Town government. My taxes.

Lunchtime here, at almost 3 pm. I was vacuuming the floors (dog hair) and need to finish some laundry and iron G's white work shirts. I watered the garden and should check for cucumbers and zucchini. G brought in a peach off my tree and it was full of bugs (worms). Some raspberries are getting ripe and Riley is eating the ones outside the fence. Should be blueberries also. I saw some flowers on my eggplant and a few on the tiny tomatoes, peppers and beans. Not much time left for them to grow.

We're having reheated pizza.

Good News & Big News

Well, August might not be as awful as I said last time. I'm beginning day five of the new 42 day diet and things are going along very well. I have lots of energy and enthusiasm for all my endeavors, even though I lose steam by 7 pm. Which is okay.

Big News : Last night at 10 pm I accepted an offer on the house in Ohio. I had "put" a number out in the Universe for the house. Not the list price, but the price I was willing to accept to get the house sold before winter. Next afternoon someone who had looked at the house before and thought it was too high, came back for a second visit. We never had gotten a second visit before. And yesterday I got an email saying an offer would be sent over in the evening. The phone calls began around 7:30 or 8 and by 10 pm it was done. We just need to sign things and then let the bank and the inspections begin. Closing is set for September 18. My birthday.

I slept very well last night and instead of the huge tax check I was going to have to write--I only have to write a small one to cover the months till the closing.

I know my father would not be happy with the sales price but he should have had some inside painting and improvements done over the 20 years he lived there. There is so much work to be done in that house. I know how much. We were getting estimates to have some of it done. And I am VERY happy to not be paying for that!!!

Theres a lot to be said for "just" getting a property sold in this market. We have a signed offer. Life is good this morning. And it's not raining.

Update

I have gotten through the first two days of my 1200 calorie diet successfully. I even participated in a long walk with a friend (sans dog) which made me feel good. My calorie levels for the first two days were under 1200 by 200 or 300 calories. Yes, I'm hungry.

I'm following the directive of no food after 8 pm. And since we eat dinner at 6:30 or 7 this isn't hard to do. The afternoon is the hardest time for me. And lunch. So I haven't eaten lunch the first two days. Just a piece of fruit and an ounce of cheese.

The realtor called and we have a "potential" interested buyer. This is because I wrote an email saying that I had listed the house "as is" hoping to get an insultingly low offer, which I would accept and the house would be sold. So. Let's see if they can make the insulting offer this week. In Ohio, buyers don't have the bloodthirsty pirate mentality of Maine, Florida and Illinois, all places where I have bought and sold houses with gusto and spirit and several insulting offers. The listing price was only a "suggestion" never a reality. In Ohio, the buyers take the list price as reality. I guess. No wonder they have a 40 month backlog. And no wonder they elected Boehner as their senator in Congress. Pronounced correctly as Boner. Not Bayner.

My happiness/ sadness ratio is more on the happy side today. My son demands that I be happy so I'm trying to be happy. He reads this blog. In fact, he is the reason I blog. He thought it would be a fun thing for me to do. And he was correct. My Blog-O-Versary is coming up soon.

Eye doctor. Bank to deposit paychecks. Work for three hours. Dinner with friends this evening at the local Memphis Rib place. Top Chef Masters when I get home. A GOOD day. A BUSY day. And I think the sun is supposed to be shining and it's gonna be HOT!

I watered my garden while I was on my walk yesterday. Ever the optimist. At least where the garden is concerned.

In the Weeds

While pulling weeds, I noticed I had onions. Not the large onions promised on the package I bought, but little 2 inch firm ones. They will taste good I hope. Right now they are out in the sunshine drying off.

I also "weeded" some baby carrots, cucumbers and a few large zucchini. Not the mammoth ones as big as watermelons. Just bigger than I usually let them get. I also cut the flowering stalks off my parsley (which I never think to cut for meal prep), tarragon and chives. And uncovered my basil which was doing well on it's own. Tomatoes and fresh mozzarella are going on my shopping list. I harvested, and promptly ate, the handful of blueberries.

My tomato plants have yellow flowers but no fruit yet. And the best, and healthiest plant, is the one in the compost bin. As usual. I should just plant them there. Everything looks spindly. I think all the rain has washed the fertilizer I added at the beginning, right out of the soil. Into the paths. Where the weeds are exuberant.

I tried to take a picture of myself when I was done gardening an hour ago. Dirt everywhere. In my hair. All over my face, knees, feet, arms. So dirty that my shower ball is now gray instead of pink. Perhaps I should have spritzed myself with Simple Green?

And then I weighed myself. Give me strength. This battle I must wage is so very difficult. I have been trying, but giving in to the "wants" and "needs" far too often. Comforting myself and rewarding myself with food. I truly detest the weighing, measuring and counting of the diet. It takes up so much of my time. But if I don't do it, every extra 10, 50 or 100 calories adds up.

I like having a bowl of cold cereal with milk in the summer for breakfast. 400 calories. My lunchtime salad 480 calories because of the dry cranberries and crispy Chinese noodles. I can continue to eat this way as long as my dinner is 320 calories minus my afternoon apple. So dinner is 200 unless I skip the apple. You can see where this all goes wrong can't you? Who eats a 200 calorie dinner? I have to stay at 1200 calories in order to lose ANY weight. And it's far better if two or three days a week I barely touch 800. I either skip breakfast or lunch.

When I was on the "diet" I had oatmeal and tea everyday for breakfast. No lunch. Just a 70 calorie low fat ounce of cheese and an apple. Usually, just the cheese. And the rest of the calories were spent on dinner. I got down to 800 by having a salad for dinner a few times a week. 265 plus 200 plus 400 equals 865 for the day. I got used to eating that way. I wasn't happy about it. All day long, it was negative. It was always about what I couldn't have. And I still was cooking regular meals for my husband, including chocolate chip cookies, brownies, pizza and pasta. Add a new puppy to the mix and I'm surprised I was successful.

But I was very angry most of the time. No wonder I lost my job. And now I have to do it again. When I had promised myself that if I did the diet for one full year, I would never have to diet again. I actually thought I would have learned to BE THIN. Instead, I learned to wait for the diet to end and then slowly began eating a few more calories each day. Anything over 1500 is a problem for me. 1500. Pitiful after 365 days of 1200 or less.

So here I am at 185 instead of 160. Here I am wearing size 16 pants when I have size 12's in the closet. (all the weight came back and settled on my hips and butt) Here I am facing another 3 to 6 months of NO NO NO NO NO NO. Actually, here I am facing TWENTY YEARS of NO NO NO. A lifetime of "no you can't have any of that". A bowl of shredded wheat with milk. No. I have tears running down my face as I type this.

In restaurants, the chef says they are "in the weeds" when things are going very badly. I'm in the weeds dear readers. Things are going very badly.

Disgusting August, 2009

Let me count the ways the first days of August disgust me. Mosquitoes. Horse and Deer Flies. Humidity. Itching. Weeds. More Rain. Tomato Blight. Failure to get a good night's sleep. Wearing socks and having hot feet. Not wearing socks and having stones in your shoes. Wanting to eat. Not wanting to cook. Wanting ice cream. Long lines to buy ice cream. Traffic.

The traffic thing gets out of control here in Maine. Vacationland. Every freaking idiot in the other 49 states and various foreign countries has decided to come to Maine, in August, and drive erratically, in the car in front of mine. They are also clogging up the lines at all my favorite restaurants and ice cream stands. And I have to got to get to work, appointments and buy groceries, while trying to "work" around their crazy vacationing lifestyle.

So I'm testy. And I scream "asshole" a lot while driving. My dad's favorite word.

The little blaze orange Fit is now registered in Maine and has Maine insurance. I sent a large four figure check to the insurance broker to cover 6 months of vacant house coverage for the Ohio house. We are having estimates for painting and new carpet in the Ohio house. In case you were wondering what I was spending my inheritance on. Ahem.

Today, G is cutting the grass (because he didn't want to cut it yesterday) and we are going to eat lunch at the Mexican place in Auburn. I'm planning on spending some of my inheritance on a large salted Margarita. I might be happier with more ice cold beer, salty Margaritas and icy Tom Collins. Prime Suspect on public television tonight. A/C installed in the window here at home to keep us dry and chilled.

I worked four days last week. I was hot, dirty, itchy and smelly. And there were no free ice pops in the lunchroom freezer. I even had to go down cellar and carry the 5 gallon water replacement bottle up the rickety stairs and install it into the drink machine. So we could have drinking water. And there were mosquitoes in the lunchroom. And a nerve in my left eye keeps twitching. God. I sound like a psycho.

I get my teeth cleaned this week and my eyes checked (the twitch).

I invited Sam (my daughter) to attend Art Club with me this week. So, of course, an invited guest turned out to be one of those "talking head" Me&Me&Me people. She glues crystals to shoes. But in her mind she studies the "architecture of the shoe and creates intricate and one of a kind designs that should cost $5000 per pair of shoes etc." Yes, indeed. A line of crystals around the top edge of a shoe is a departure from any known design, as is a snowflake on the heel or a toe covered in crystals. And we had to hear about the trials of her shoe size. And the cost of the undecorated shoes. Ferragamo. $500. At least. My daughter told her to contact some drag queens and sell her shoes to them. And then we drifted away, as far away as possible, to work on projects. Sam won't be returning.

Art Club. Just not working for me. And I so WANTED it to WORK for me. I need some artistic help here, people! Or, at least, a really GOOD LAUGH!

Fava Beans & Simply Green

The inside of these large pods is fluffy, padded and dense white fiber. And the beans themselves are very organic with pod attachments. I wonder who decided this food was edible. The first time. Don't you think about that when you look at some of the things we eat? Tom Selleck (yum) was interviewed by Rachel Ray and he doesn't like vegetables or figs. They don't look "finished" to him. Tom thinks figs are "finished" when inside a fig newton. And only then.

I don't think Tom (or G) would venture into eating a Fava Bean. They need to be shelled. Then steamed. And then peeled of their outer, inedible skin, and finally sauteed and eaten. I have a large bag full. They can be frozen with the outer skin still on. I ate some raw, with the skin, some peeled and still raw and some sauteed in a bok choy lo mein. They taste like big green peas. Slightly sweet. A bit starchy. Green.

I have zucchini, onion, bell peppers (red and green), jalapenos, garlic, salt and ice cubes sitting for another few hours while I ready the canning jars and the bread and butter vinegar, sugar and spices. Pickle time. It's 80 degrees and about 100% humidity. Always make pickles when it's stinking hot. Because pickle makers are crazy as loons.

I worked yesterday and had a pot roast in the crock pot all day so I would have a "good dinner" when I got home. Friday and Sunday we were scrubbing the entire greenhouse floor with "Simple Green". Removing dirt and this black jelly mold. Four of us. And some others worked on it on Saturday also. I can't say I would have been voted "most popular" on Sunday when I got the simple green, floor brushes and the hose ready. But they pitched in and helped.

On Saturday, having witnessed the miracle that is Simple Green at work, I bought a bottle and scrubbed all the nice dirty tiles on my sunporch at home. Why I selected the vanilla color for the tiles is beyond understanding. But now that they are "simply" CLEAN and vanilla again--I'm loving them. And looking for other things to spray that green magic on.

I love to clean up messes. I love seeing the progress of my work. And I adore the end result, which is visible. That's why I love laundry, clean sheets and ironing. I can SEE the results. This week, while G was gone, I scrubbed all the floors in the house. Without simple green. When it's hot and my feet are bare, I like all the floors to be super clean. I can sit and stare at my clean floors for long periods of time.

Been watching my TiVo'd West Wing episodes. Going by way too quickly. Already going into 2003. And Miss Marple. And Law and Order CI. Nickles may be my favorite character. And Diners & Dives on the Food channel. I have said NO to Big Brother, the Fashion Show and all the other new summer shows . I haven't opened any of my three books. I read three really quickly and now, not so interested in reading.

Also not so interested in walking the dog. We just got back from a walk and I felt like I was going to pass out. I get dizzy and sweaty and just want to lay down in the grass. Could be the heat and humidity, as I remember feeling like this last summer. Last year I worried about what the dog would do if I fainted. This year I know he'll sit with me. I have low blood pressure and this happens when I get stressed. I had a nice peanut butter sandwich and I feel much better now.

Well, it's been pleasant talking with you but I have canning jars to wash in the dishwasher. And pickles to make.

Scam Artist

This is incredible and true. I was out walking the dog over in the newer, more affluent neighborhood across from my own sort of affluent street this afternoon. And one of the home owners comes running from his backyard over to the dog and me.

"Hey," he says, "do you have any grandchildren?"

I said , "no", and laughing, asked if he had some to give away.

No, but he did have a really good story to tell me.

A few weeks ago a nice young man stopped by, introduced himself as my "grandson". He asked if the gentleman knew me, his grandmother. The young man said I often walked my dog, a black lab, over on this street. Of course, the neighbor did know me and my charming dog.

Well, as a wonderful and generous grandmother, I was sending my "grandson", a recent college graduate, to Europe for a year to study. But I wanted him to do something to "pay back" my generosity. I wanted him to sell magazines and books door to door and give the money he earned to charity. (well, now, that sounds like me, right?) (NOT)

The neighbor doesn't need any magazines or books. No problem. My "grandson" will send the entire amount to whichever children's hospital the neighbor chooses. So he writes a check.

Next day, my neighbor reads in the local paper about a scam artist in the next town. He calls the police in that town. They are concerned and tell him to see if the check has cleared. They refer him to the police in our town. Who don't care. (now that's a big surprise --- NOT)

So, I'm wondering how many of the nice people in this neighborhood have been scammed by my "grandson". And do they actually think he was my "grandson". And do I need to go door to door and apologize and write checks to reimburse them for any losses.

On the one hand, I am embarrassed and feel violated. On the other, I am intrigued by the thought that this well to do, retired executive thinks I have the financial resources to send my "grandchildren" to Europe for a year, all expenses paid.

How much do you think it would cost to send a grandchild to Europe for a year? Perhaps I should send myself.

Mosquito

G is in Orlando and I am on dog duty. Riley woke me at 7 am this morning with flappy-ing ears. I dressed and we went outside to do "morning business" along with about a million or so hungry mosquitoes. I mean, literally, about a million. Clouds of them.

It started to rain yesterday at about 6 pm and rained all night. When Riley and I walked at 11:30 last night (just around the garden) there was a misty, foggy rain falling and the bugs were so excited to have some "blood". Well, this morning they are hungry for BLOOD. They are all over both of us. Ugh! G has this stuff he buys and sprays around the house with the an attachment to the garden hose. Wish I knew how and what to do because the stuff really cuts down on the bugs. The sun also cuts down on bugs, but we won't be seeing the sun until Saturday.

Art Club is trying to participate in some kind of local venue art evening (slides of 2 pieces of work plus a 2 minute verbal by each artist) and I am getting repeat invites to "participate". Which has lead to me having to admit to everyone that I don't do "participate" very well or at all. Art Club members are all working on a small 3D collage assemblage for a coffee house show in September. Guess who isn't. I mean, I will make a collage, but the chances of it going into a show are very slim.

I am usually surprised that I post the bimonthly Friends of Twelve by Twelve piece. I missed the June first reveal (identity) and am not even working on the reveal for August first (passion). The wheels on this project have stopped rolling for me and once stopped, it is difficult to get the wheels in motion again.

I tried explaining that just thinking about a project and working on it (and sometimes almost finishing it) are enough for me. There are fabric artists who submit queries to a host of magazines in hopes of being published. And burn CD's and fill out applications and write artist statements to enter quilt shows and competitions. And pack and ship the quilts. Not me. I did it once. It was a rush to have been juried into a show, pack and ship. But not enough to continue doing it, keeping track of deadlines, and worst of all, making stuff to suit. There is NOTHING I detest more than working on something I have no interest in doing.

In order to see my work, you actually have to arrive at my house and demand to see stuff. Or appeal to my softer side by begging for work because you have no one else to ask. That's how I got into a two month, one artist, show last year.

When I worked at the library, I would hang my recent pieces up behind the CIRC desk to screen, from view, the CIRC workroom. Then patrons started asking about the work, started asking for new work, started requesting old favorites etc. They even began buying the work, literally off the wall. It was fun at first and then became another "job". I did enjoy helping new quilters with their projects, solving problems and teaching beginners. But, at the core, I was always happiest when it was over.

Right now I have about a dozen or so very promising pieces in various stages of progress. Some have been this way for years (about 8 years for one large 16 block applique). All the interesting problem solving/learning/experimenting is in the past. Now I only have the hard repetitious hours of work to do to finish. And why? Yes, that's the question I ask. Why finish them?

A friend, who long arm quilts my work, has been asking about that 16 block folkart Baltimore every year for 8 years. I have been saying that I am still hand appliquing the sawtooth strips that go around each block and haven't even begun to work on the borders. The quilt will be too big. I was making it king sized and not the twin size of the pattern which I stopped using after 5 blocks. I designed my own blocks. And the sawtooth strips (I've made 40 so far) are taking forever. So, in order to finish, I have to eliminate blocks and actually make the appliqued borders using elements from the original and newly designed blocks. I might have close to the number of strips if I only use 12 blocks. Or I can make two smaller wall quilts of 9 blocks each, meaning I will need to make 2 more designs and applique two more 18 inch square blocks. And we are talking about 10 year (or more) old fabric that needs to match and cover borders and new blocks and sawtooth strips. And the background fabric was an off beat choice and was damned difficult to find. Not many quilters applique on a polka dot background. Trust me on that point. I've shown these blocks and watched quilters wrinkle their foreheads in confusion. Why did she use that brown dotted fabric with the reds, blues and yellows? Because it looks nice. To me. And that's all that matters in the end.

What's this got to do with mosquitoes? I usually do have a roundabout point in these posts, eventually. Well. All these unfinished pieces are starting to "bite" me. Hound me. Why else am I thinking about these applique blocks after so long. And the piece on the design wall and the winter garden quilt. And the Twelve by Twelve "passion" piece. And the little applique circle blocks for the French quilt. Sucking the blood out of my creative self. Hard to do NEW work when the OLD work is in the studio screaming and stamping it's feet, louder with each passing year, month, day, hour.

Well, I am only working two days a week at the greenhouse. And I'd have to be a fool to actually go out into the garden, in the rain, to pull weeds. And I can muffle the screaming and stamping with the sound of the vacuum for only so long. Time to just "pull the work through" as a workshop instructor said. David Walker, I think.

I'll be here, pulling work through, and will post and photograph which ever thing I settle down to "pull through". And I'll walk the dog. And there will be mosquitoes.

MidSummer Reboot

Well, as any gardener knows, things don't always grow as planned. My squash are rotting. No beans. My tarragon is four feet high. The lettuce is ready to eat and covered in slugs. I think I will be buying tomatoes this summer. But the sun is shining. And we have blueberries.

Riley is ready to go for his walk. I'm tired. I was called into work yesterday when three people called out sick. Sunday is a slow day at the greenhouse (100 degrees inside) but it went by faster than usual. Then I did the week's groceries -- much simpler since I will be the only one home this week -- and did two loads of laundry, made dinner, ate dinner and then watched Miss Marple.

G got to spent most of Sunday in his favorite spot. The couch. "Reading" which translates to holding a book while sleeping. I'm not sure the dog enjoyed it as much as G did. They were both up early this morning (4:30) so G could be at work by 6.

--I haven't even begun to read the three books I have on the table.
--I have been able to write a page each day in my journal and paste some sort of evocative picture on the left facing page.
--I have been eating fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water
-- I want to fill the recycle container for the third week in a row with stuff from the attic. It's a 30 gallon garbage can
--and I want to fill an equal sized black garbage bag with non-recycle things from the attic.
--still haven't found the cute white metal table I bought last year at the greenhouse garage sale
--bought practically dead impatiens for the shed window boxes
--bought a charming off white, decorative use only, vase at this year's greenhouse garage sale and will be scouting the flowers in the attic (silk) for something charming to go inside. I have nothing outside but Japanese beetles.
--I think it's time to have a hand sewing job in my hands whenever I run out of things to do so I can stop eating hummus and carrot sticks.
--I need a list of things to do, to check off as they get done

I wish I knew how to make that line bloggers put over words they have written that no longer apply. Then I could cross things off this list I have just made. But who really cares?

I think that's the real "reboot" needed midsummer. Caring. It gets so hot and we get so tired that we just, simply, do not care. And now that I am using fragrance free laundry detergent--not even clean laundry perks me up. Clean has no smell. I would have thought clean had a smell. So many fragrances in the world and "clean" isn't one of them, even though products all mention having that "clean fragrance". I miss original scent Tide. That smelled "clean" to me.

-- walk the dog

On Second Thought

I was rather disappointed by yesterday's post. It seemed flat and boring. I erased it twice and probably should have just gone to watch television instead of posting. But, this is sometimes my only contact with people all day. Not that I chose to be reclusive yesterday. I had a pleasant luncheon date and met lots of friends at the library and in the parking lot. Perhaps that is the reason for the melancholy? Seeing and speaking to so many, made me sad to be suddenly alone, later in the day? Or perhaps, I was missing that easy conversation I had become used to while working at the library, seeing so many people pass by each day.

I might just be adjusting to a lessening of public contact now that I am working so few hours. I think that's why the non-happening Art Club this week was such a sharp disappointment. I needed some people around me.

G has a day off today. He has already been to the doctor and now he and Riley are out walking in the woods. When he gets home he will try and mow the grass before we have a shower. No sun today, yet. Just clouds.

I'm drinking my second cup of coffee, still in my pajamas at 11 am. I watched an episode of West Wing this morning (the local NBC station is showing two episodes every day at 8 and 9 in the morning). They have added the whiny voiced actress from CSI Miami to the cast. A nod to Ann Coulter? The Republican Pit Bull. With lipstick.

The real estate agent's secretary just called to notify me of another showing this afternoon. That makes two this week. Perhaps prayer is working. I need to be more positive in my thoughts going out in the Universe. I asked for someone nice to buy the house. Perhaps I need to be less specific.

I'm going to make cheesecake brownies today. For G to eat over the next few days. They are having the annual Clam Festival in the town where his McD's is located. If it rains he will be very busy. Overwhelmed. If the sun shines, no worries. I think cheesecake brownies will help don't you?

I have been reading blogs about Facebook and Twitter. And seeing the television shows falling all over themselves to add both to the NEWS. What crap. I don't see the evening news as an interactive concept. It's hard enough paying attention to what is being reported with that little stream of words running at the bottom of the screen. And the alerts. Now I get to read text messages from people driving their cars on highways. Enough.

Every person I see now days is talking on a device held to their ear. Talking about nothing. And the ones with ear pieces-- well, they look like psych cases talking to themselves. When I traveled to Ohio and was in airports, well, let me tell you, I thought I had traveled to a huge mental ward. Everyone talking to no one. "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm at the airport" "Just walking to the gate." They even talk on the phones in the bathrooms. What is so important that it must be discussed while peeing? Perhaps the stalls that are quiet have people texting to Twitter. While they pee. These are women. Men, I think, need one hand to pee? But I guess you can text with one hand?

I do not have a cell phone. I do not text. I do not Twitter. I don't care to contact people I knew in the past 60 years on Facebook. I don't see Facebook and Twitter as "public relation tools" for artists trying to sell and publicize their work. I am probably wrong. I will never know though. My blog isn't open to either. Neither is my bathroom.

CLOSED

Not so good thing: My (our) favorite restaurant has closed it's doors to dining room customers. They now are only doing catering. I was shocked and saddened to see the little blurb in the local paper early this week. G and I haven't been having many mutual days off, so we haven't been having lunch together very often this month (this summer). We both have tomorrow off. Sigh!

Very excellent good thing: We have now had SEVEN days of mostly sunshine. Now the temps haven't gotten above 77 degrees (unless you work in a greenhouse and then they have gone close to 90 or 100 degrees) but that sun is SHINING. And it's WARM. And I am loving it!

Amazing thing: A miracle, even. A check from the bastards at the annuity. Yes. A check. And I called them to make sure they meant to send it, that I can cash it, and it's not a "trick". It's good.

I ate too much today but all the food was so delicious and I was so hungry. Eggplant Parm for lunch with whole wheat penne. And I did a perfect job of seasoning and sauteeing the pork steaks for dinner tonight. Great baked potatoes and steamed green beans.

Tomorrow I will go look at the planters at the local McD's to see what I need to do to make them look good. And I'll weed a bit in my veggie garden. And sit in the sun. Could go for a record tomorrow and have EIGHT days of sun. In a row. Wow!

No Art Club. The doors to the building where we meet were locked again and this time we didn't get anyone to let us in. I was so READY to enjoy Art Club. So I was really bummed.

CLOSED. It seems that my world is closing down on me lately. No summer plans. No social calendar. Not much work (paid). No favorite restaurant. No walking buddy ( baby grandson taking all her time). No zucchini to make into pickles.

OPEN: A great lunch date with a book reading friend. A hug from a library patron who hasn't seen me lately. A visit from my daughter (nice tan). Husband going away on trip for a week. I can eat chard for dinner with brown rice and beets. Iced Coffee. West Wing repeats as my summer viewing pick. I never watched when it was new. What year did it begin? The two episodes I watched this morning were from 2000.

So more Open things than Closed. That's good. Staying positive.

Second, Full Day of Sunshine

I was so hot at work today. That greenhouse heats up! And I was sweeping the floor and watering plants and before you know it--lunchtime.

People are coming in to get plants that don't die when sitting in water. Plants that don't mind 21 days of no sun and lots of rain. Sorry. The key word here folks is DRAINAGE. A simple enough concept.

I'm tired, a bit cranky and hungry. I woke up at 7:05 and had to be on the road to work by 7:30. And the dog hadn't done any business or eaten his breakfast. Plus, G hadn't made any coffee so I had to roll into the McD's on the way to work and BUY coffee. I did manage to get it all done in 25 minutes. Wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, take dog out, feed dog, make my yogurt lunch, eat my cereal, find car keys, pack my work bag, pack dog's lunch, find $2 for coffee. It's better when I have 45 minutes.

Yesterday, the first day of Big Brother. It's something to watch in July and August. Lowest common denominator; with emphasis on "common". Like trashy. And now I don't have to watch any of the rest of the programs (three times a week) because they brought back Jesse. And it was hard enough to watch him the first time he was on this show. Jesse. Here is a guy who thinks he is the center of the universe and hasn't had an intelligent thought in all his 2o something years. And he looks for each and every one of the 50 some cameras. Jesse is always posing. They asked what he had been doing since being on the show and he says "I gained 10 pounds of muscle and my arms are now 17 inches". Who is president, Jesse? Huh?

I will not watch. UGH!

So I guess I won't be watching television and I WILL be reading more books. I have three waiting for me right now.

I have hollyhocks growing taller each day out in front of the kitchen bay window, little lettuces getting bigger, cucumber plants climbing the trellis, baby squash and fava beans. And I haven't had to water anything. The raised beds are draining nicely so no puddles. Raspberries and blueberries coming along. One peach left on my baby peach tree. (all the others fell off). It may be time to wrap my celery in paper to blanch the stalks like they do in the supermarket. And the garlic and onions are looking good. The chard is huge and I wish I had planted the rainbow variety. I have plain green. Finally got the replacement peppers and the tomatoes I grew from seed into the ground. Eggplant needs more sun and heat.

But, at least things are still healthy and growing, even if it is slow going.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to get the Fit inspected so I can have a valid sticker in case the police decide to stop me. And I am changing the insurance on the BMW to "garaged" or "stored". We won't be driving it. Well, we haven't been driving it since October. But now it's for sure it won't be on the road in 2009. And probably 2010. We have four vehicles. Ridiculous.

Gary volunteered me for a "job" refurbishing the indoor planters at a local McD's. I don't like to go to that McD's because we once owned it, it's on a busy street with problems getting out into traffic and the chances of me doing what they want aren't real good. Rats.

Time to cook dinner.

Sunshine is Back

Yes, there is no rain falling from the skies over Maine today. I have just come in from sitting on the porch in the sunshine, working on my tan. Riley was working his way around the yard--rolling in the grass. I think the temps are in the 70's.

Yesterday, G & I devoted ourselves (in the pouring, cold rain) to getting the Ohio car titled in Maine. I have new license plates, excise tax stickers but no inspection tag yet. So the Ohio plates are still on the car. I meant to Google to find a place here in town that will inspect my car before writing this post.

The bastards at the "Annuity" wrote me a letter saying I needed to return $24,000 to them because "someone" took a check for that amount AFTER my dad died in September of 2007. I very calmly explained that in September of 2007, my dad was ALIVE and perfectly able to take the interest money out of his OWN annuity. They checked. Wow! He WAS ALIVE. Am I getting the money? Nope. I'm to expect a "letter" in two or three weeks. My dad and his attorney were never able to get money out of these bastards. I don't expect to get any out of them without a lawsuit of my own. And these BANK BASTARDS got my dad to put the money in the annuity in a CLASSIC case of Elder Fraud. He didn't understand what he was buying. They just told him to "sign here" for 6% interest on his bank accounts. Next thing he knew the bank accounts were empty and he was the "proud" owner of an annuity that made it's FIRST payout in ten years. My dad was 84 and in poor health. My dad spent the last two years of his life depressed, fearful and angry. Trying to get his hard earned money back.

Okay, enough of that. I refuse to go down the same road my dad followed.

I picked up books from the library today. Two for G and two for me. Whenever I order books on line, they come in bunches. Usually more than we can read in three weeks. But there's nothing to watch on television this summer, so we are reading.

I made a wonderful iced coffee to drink while sitting in the sun and wish there was more cold coffee to make another. I could drive out and buy one. Or just have some cold water. I ate a really big lunch of 6 boneless BBQ wings, celery, carrots and hummus. But I'm thirsty now. I think I'll make something to drink, put on a load of laundry and go sit in the cool living room and read. I work tomorrow. I should enjoy today as much as possible.

We had another cat bunking down in our garage last night. Methinks my husband is forgetting to close the garage door. He denies it. So the cats must be teleporting through the doors into the garage. I think I should give one of those grocery papers a call.

Missing Cat

What a story I have for you today. I was all ready to go for my walk with N this morning (and Riley) but had a few minutes so I went up into the attic to look for the cute little metal table I bought last July. I had it next to my outside chair to hold my beverage.

The attic is a complete "man made" mess. Piles of crap. I couldn't even get to the pile of outdoor chairs and when I climbed over to it, no table.

But------ the tiniest little meow. From behind the workshop door.

I ran down the stairs and up into the workshop part of the garage and there was a tiny cat looking down at me. Riley barked and the cat scrambled back up into the workshop. No time to try and find it--time for our walk. So when I got to N's house I mentioned the cat in the attic.

We walked. Talked. Laughed. Riley sniffed, peed and pooped.

Got back to N's house and her husband comes over to say there's a missing cat in the neighborhood, my next door neighbor's cat, and N's husband had called to tell them it was in my garage.

The neighbor came over, we climbed up into the attic, over insulation batts, sawdust, styrofoam, wood and machines but no cat. Neighbor left. I was so sad. And worried. Had the kitty gotten out when I opened the garage doors? He was an indoors only cat so had no street smarts. Only one year old. And there is a lot of danger in our woods.

I went back upstairs and sat on the step, worried and there he was, in the most inaccessable part of the attic. I would have needed a ladder (very tall) balanced on the stairs to even reach where he was hiding. I could just see his ears. I called the neighbor to say the cat was safe.

I spooned some fragrant Mexican casserole on a plate. When trying to gain the attention of a lost animal, stinky food works best to bait the trap. And once the neighbor arrived to catch the cat if he ran past me, I began to dig my way through boxes, batts and debris to the cat. The long way around. I placed the Mexican food where the cat could smell it. He's been somewhere and possibly in my attic, since July 4th. He approached the food.

And then I grabbed his collar and it was the snap off kind. So I had to make a really calm grab for him and he wasn't liking it at all. His claws were grabbing at every thing we passed as I crawled backwards out the narrow opening I had made.

He was safely returned to his owner (and to three year old Hazel) and will probably not open the window screen and escape ever again. Or if he does, I hope he comes back here to my garage and stays away from the fisher. And the coyotes. And the porcupines. And the raccoons. And the deer.

Going into the woods isn't something little cats with bells on their collars should do.

Misfit

A bit of art content since this blog is on the Art Ring. A collage of fabric scraps not usually found in a quilt. Corduroy, selvedge, wax crayon batik (home made) and some daisies from trim I found in a box of junk. I finally had a moment to sit at the machine and zigzag this down. Now to find an additional half hour or so to add binding. The color is true.

Some old silver plate spoons I found at Goodwill. Well used as the silver plate is worn thin at the spoon tip. I love the color shift in the silver plate patina. I may mount them on a linen covered board and frame the lot and hang them in the kitchen or dining room.

Just finished the book I was reading: Serena by Ron Rash. I wish I belonged to a book club that was reading this book as there are elements of the story I would like to discuss with someone (anyone). Which is why this post is labeled "misfit".

I just feel so out of step with the regular world. So alone. Not lonely. Solitary. Not ordinary but also not extraordinary. I wonder if this is the specific DNA for my family? My parents were happier living separate lives. My children live alone. I live inside my head.

My early report cards suggested I was not social and didn't "play well with others". I never had "best friends" in school. All my secrets stayed inside and were never shared. I never "fit".

I can spend long periods of time alone, not speaking to anyone (though I am addicted to blog communication right now, perhaps because it is silent). I am annoyed by the dog and his social needs. He interrupts constantly. I like to look. Process my environment. Sort through the things I see, hear, notice or read. My brain likes to sort.

My work environment at the greenhouse is interesting because we (employees) are all misfits. We discovered this by accident. Wondering why certain people get hired and others do not. A long time employee asked "haven't you noticed, yet, that he hires misfits?" Not that there is anything wrong with any of us. We are just original. Is that a polite way to say it? And. We all like each other. Eventually. I look forward to work and my co workers. One misfit among the many. And, as far as misfits go, we are all exceptionally good at customer service. I may be the grumpiest one of the lot, but usually it's just my "thinking face" and it isn't really an indication of grumpy-ness.

The fact that I am very good at customer service and am such a solitary person is so contradictory. Perhaps it works well because I can retreat back inside my head when I get home or do repetitious work in the greenhouse or perennial yard.

When I don't have time to spend, inside my head, sorting, I get very irritable. Ask G. He is usually the innocent bystander to my irritable outbursts. When the children lived with us, I would tend to scream at them, also. My son reminded me of this on the long car ride from Ohio. Delightful.

I am feeling particularly misfitted these days. Like a snake needing to shed it's too tight skin. I'm not sure what, exactly, is too tight and needs shedding. But it's there, pinching and irritating me. Making me less than pleasant company. Could be the lack of sun has made matters worse. I need sun to charge my batteries.

G is spraying mosquito killer on the woods so we don't get chewed to death by the blood sucking vipers. I am eying trees that I want removed to allow more wind to flow across the yard. The neighbors are up in arms about the deer eating our roses and hydrangea. They have eaten the whole side off my new plum tree (up next to the house). The deer have plenty to eat in the woods. So we have decided to challenge the covenants and build fences. The dog across the street has gone blind from diabetes. So much chaos. Not much zen.

I think I want to go shopping for a large glass container for dog food, a large French coffee press and perhaps a coffee grinder. (Target?) And the dining room table is getting a makeover. No more craft materials. It's all going back into the workroom. And I am going to draft a pattern for king size pillow cases to use some of the lovely printed fabric in the fabric closet. I love pillow cases. I especially love mixing several with an assortment of sheets. My bed always looks so "interesting". Wish I had more beds to play house with.

Playing House. That was my all time favorite "play". In Kindergarten, I had a wooden house, child size, with furniture and dishes. This is the reason I "didn't play well with others" as I wanted the house to myself, all day, every day. Later, Santa brought me my own little table and chairs, china dishes and crib for my doll. I even had a tiny stove and fridge. I'm still "Playing House".

July First

Still cold and rainy. But, my favorite flowers are blooming. Rose Campion. Very difficult to find as a plant or in seed form. I saved seeds for years and when I began working at the greenhouse last spring so many people asked for it---- and I packaged seeds and gave them all away. I hoped, with fingers crossed, that some of my plants would return. They are biennial. Meaning they produce flowers every other year and make little rosettes of leaves in between. If you have enough seeds scattered around, you get some rosettes and some flowers every year.

I usually scout around my yard looking for rosettes and I dig them up and transplant them to one spot so I have a large grouping of Rose Campion to enjoy. This year, with the major digging and weeding of the perennial beds here at my house, I finally have the little beauties right next to the back porch and near my chair. Tall silvery stems with flat open magenta flowers right on the tippy top.

My friend P brought those veggie burgers over yesterday along with some wonderful bread and pickled green tomatoes. We had a lovely dinner together with some organic wine (a bit thin) and then went to Art club together. Only five of us. But we enjoyed each other's company and I stitched two circles.

I was describing Riley's behaviour yesterday with the car to my husband this morning, and I finally realized what the dog had noticed immediately (and I had failed to see). I was asking him to jump out of the car WAY too close to the invisible fence line. Smart dog.

G is vacuuming the floors. I am washing clothes. Riley is resting up for his walk in the woods. The skies are overcast. The grass needs cutting. We are going out for lunch. Which probably means no dinner needs to be cooked. All that food I bought on Monday!!!

Who cares? I'm just going to go with my whims today. Do what feels good. Pretend I'm on vacation. A vacation where you do laundry. Which, actually, is what I do on vacation. The first place I visit in any hotel is the laundry to see what they have available. I also iron in my room. I don't overpack so I need to wash clothes even when we are only gone a week.

I looked into the garden yesterday while taking Riley out and noticed that I have small yellow squash growing. Cute. And the cucumber plants are finally sending out those curling tendrils and grabbing hold of the trellis. And the roses are blooming. And the leaf lettuce is ready to pick, wash and eat with salt, olive oil and Balsamic vinegar.

Those stacked (neatly) bodies out on the balcony with all their luggage? Could those be all the things I have put aside "for later" like painting, travel and art? Or were they just dead bodies?

Just Saying

I liked Micheal Jackson better when he was alive and no one had anything to say about him. He was creative, but in the end, he wasted his life. Let it go.

This is now one of the five coldest, wettest Junes in Maine history. It has been raining or overcast since Saturday evening. And there is a slim possibility of sun next Tuesday, July 7th. I know you've had weeks of 100 degree days in Texas, which I wouldn't like either.

The perennial yard is full of black aphids (and their waste products), red lily beetles (and their waste products) and slugs. Today I picked wet, slimy leaves and flowers off plants. Can we all say ICK?

P is coming over with veggie burgers she made to take to Art Club. We (I) will be cooking them here at my house because I seem to be better equipped (?) to cook veggie burgers. I plan to fry them in butter. Yep. That's what I'm going to do.

Riley had a good day at day care and made a large deposit in the yard when we got home. I tried to park the car in a new part of the driveway today and Riley refused to get out of the car. I had to start the car and drive to the usual place and he jumped right out. Riley is right on the edge of being a "Monk" dog. I mentioned his distaste for walking through the doorway between the television viewing room and the kitchen? A span of three feet. And his "fear" of the rolling desk chair?

My back was acting up again this morning but was okay by 10am. I think we need a new mattress on our bed even though my back doesn't hurt during my sleeping time.

I dreamed I was staying in a hotel full of dead people last night. They were neatly stacked on the balcony outside our room along with their luggage. So I was up from 2 to 3 am wondering about these dead people. So weird.

Rain Destroyed Peonies

I wait all year for June. Blue skies. Warm but not hot. Not too many bugs. Yet. Beautiful Peonies. Not this year. This year the mosquitoes are having a blood fest out in my yard. And it continues to rain. Days and days of dripping, pouring, cold rain. So, June 2009. A complete loss.

I'm sitting in the house, wearing socks and a sweater, and it's almost the 4th of July. I'm thinking of baking some potatoes in the oven just to heat up the kitchen. Take the chill out of the air.

Today I completed a number of tasks that have been on the dreaded "estate" list for 6 months now. I filled out and mailed the annuity documents. I wrote checks and mailed the estate tax forms. I have a contact to call regarding the Ohio home insurance. I went to the bank, the library and the grocery store. I still have a CD to renew by 12 July, my daughter's accounts and the car title to take care of when I have the nerves to face the DMV. And then it will all be DONE. The Ohio bills keep on coming: $180 to mow the grass for June, electricity and we turned on the central air (it's actually hot in Ohio) so the house wouldn't be stuffy or damp if someone wants to visit. Please!!!!

I'm reading a book. 'Serena' by Ron Rash. I've read his other books. They are dismal but the way he uses words, well, I love reading his sentences. I already flipped to the last few pages so I won't have to worry about favorite characters. I now know who lives and dies. It doesn't matter to me. I reread murder mysteries and it doesn't effect the enjoyment when I know how it ends. A good book is a good book. I do have a thriller to read next by Robotham. I really love reading his books. This is his fourth book. Can't wait. And I might skip past Serena and go directly to 'Shatter'.

Tomorrow is Art Club. I plan to bring hand sewing and sit closer and actually join into the conversations. I am going to be more social.

Only two days of work this week. Tuesday and Friday. We were pretty busy on Saturday when I subbed for a coworker. Of course, it was sunny. I spent most of the sunny time out in the perennial yard doing clean up. Got a bit of tan on my legs (I wore shorts). And I had Maine strawberries and sweetened (not) plain yogurt for my lunch. ICK!!! I added lots of honey and vanilla to the sour yogurt and it still tasted sour. I used the last of the plain stuff in my Sunday morning biscuits instead of milk. The biscuits were moist and very tender. Yummy. And I bought the high calorie vanilla yogurt today. I'll just eat less.

My back has it's good moments and it's bad moments. Today's bad event occurred half way into the 3.5 mile walk with the dog. I had a moment there when I wondered how the hell I was going to get back home. Walking is supposed to be excellent for a bad back. So I took a deep breath, extended my steps, tried to loosen up the painful tightness and made it home.

I should be feeling pretty good but I'm feeling kind of down. I think it's the weather and not being able to plant anything in the garden. I still have tomatoes, peppers and beans that need to be in the ground. G is home. Bringing take out from a new place his coworker says is great. I won't be baking any potatoes.

I hope the sun is shining where you are!

556

Another day. More back pain. Today, at work, I couldn't pick up the hose. Sad. there were all those dry plants, waiting for a drink, a sip of fertilized water, and I was bending, but not quite enough, not close enough, to touch the hose. So I had to get down on one knee, pick up the hose and then try and get back on both feet.

My boss mentioned the annual house needed watering in the afternoon. He wondered if he should ask someone else to do it. That's the way he asks me to do things. Would that be passive-aggressive behaviour?

G had to drive to another McD's to get additional buns for the new Angus burger they are serving. His tiny McD's is selling a good number of them and they ran out of buns. His McD's is tiny because it has no drivethru. It has no neon. It has no McCafe. It has no golden arches. It's just a tiny brick and clapboard cape that once was a bank, then served ice cream and is now the ONLY fast food chain in town.

Anyway, he had to drive to another town to get buns and then drive back to the tiny restaurant before finally driving home for dinner. Since we had eaten out yesterday (beer and cheeseburgers) we ate at home tonight. Pasta with butter and cheese. G had lots of butter and cheese and I had very little.

I was not supposed to be working tomorrow, but most of our employees are attending a wedding (a co worker is getting married) so I'll be helping "cover lunches". I think I can leave whenever I feel like I've had enough fun. I also volunteered to water on the Fourth of July. We're closed but we have to come in and water all the plants. So, in spite of the decrease in scheduled hours, I am trying to make some money.

Oh. I got a nice letter from the Internal Revenue. Seems I made an even BIGGER mistake on the Federal return and they will be sending me a really BIG refund in 6 weeks. Much bigger than the one the state of Maine sent me. What the hell was I doing???? They mentioned the Qualified Dividends in the explanation part of the letter. And the Qualified Dividends Worksheet. Where the mistakes were made. And I actually thought I had gotten it right this year. Clearly delusional.

Book Sale/ State Farm Insurance

Well. It's over. My part that is. It was quite a mess without a book count, but I had plenty of help which was fortunate since my back decided to seize up and I couldn't even put my socks on Tuesday morning. It was worse on Wednesday morning.

I usually lift boxes, unpack books, move piles of boxes around etc. Could NOT do any of that. I was so frustrated. But since I was medicated by one huge orange pill (like 5 Aleeve) I didn't have the will power to even sit and have a good cry. I managed to drift through it all and by 3:30 (when the janitor surprised us with his closing now announcement) we were pretty close to finished. I was pretty strong in not wanting children helping, but they arrived anyway and did a damned fine job. Proving me wrong but I was not responsible for them and when one had a first aid emergency (blood) (and they came to ME for help) I just shouted-- who has the first aid kit, and left them to it.

We were finished with everything, even had the floor swept and the signs hung from the ceiling, by 1 pm (today, Thursday) It takes two days to do set up. My back was good enough today that I got my socks on (first try), didn't need the handicap bar when I used the bathroom, and only needed one rest period when getting into the car. Twisting is not a good thing.

I got home in time to have lunch, look at some of my new (to me) cookbooks, sit out in the SUN (yes, it didn't rain today) when the phone rang and State Farm Insurance (in Ohio) let me know they were canceling the homeowners policy on the Ohio house. It's vacant. They don't want to cover any vacant houses. Doesn't matter that I have someone checking the house, have a nosy neighbor next door and have a lawn service guy cutting the grass. The agent's assistant suggested I go on the internet and find a "high risk insurer". State Farm. They are sending me a "letter". I'm going to have to change the channel every time one of their commercials comes on, from now on. I think the whole state of Florida got canceled by State Farm this winter. So maybe they are closing down in Ohio too? A new slogan for them would be "whenever you need us, we won't be there".

We ate the last of the lasagna on Tuesday and had Subway sandwiches as a very late lunch on Wednesday after working all day unpacking dirty books. Today it's sunny and summery. I have no idea what to make for dinner. I would like a beer and a cheeseburger. And sugared native Maine strawberries for dessert. I stopped on the way home to buy a container. Yummy. But they are big this summer and not as densely RED. Too much rain.

I return to work (my job) tomorrow. I get to go pick up the dog now. No rest for the weary.

Monday Morning Rain

I can't believe it took me so long to figure out how to crop my pictures. Now I download and click edit and see just how blurry most of my pictures are and delete them. sometimes there is a picture or two I can then crop for the blog. The color here isn't as deeply Sonic Purple as the actual flower. BUT, you can see the rain can't you?

We have an additional roof leak. One on the sunporch, one in the chimney (never did decide to take it down) and now one next to the skylight. I have small bowls on the floor catching the ping, ping, ping of water as it falls from the sky, runs through the shingles and into the house.

I have the house lights on this morning. So dreary. I managed to fill and plant the stoop planters, fill the large gray pedestal planter will soil and plant my Elephant Ears bulb, plant the smaller black pedestal pot with lime coleus and a Verbena bonariensis before the rain started yesterday. I also finished reading my book. Chick Lit. Okay, but it could have used some editing to make it better. They don't edit books anymore do they. Or they let the author edit the book, which is the same as not editing.

Today is my final day off before the long work week begins. I can feel myself falling into a pattern of not getting much done again. I was all fired up for a week or so there after Ohio, but now, not so eager to get things done. My daughter and I have checks to write for the estate taxes and then that can be mailed back to my dad's attorney. I still need to fill in all the blanks on the annuity paperwork. Fear of making a mistake. I got a check from the Maine Revenue Office. Guess I made a whopper of a mistake on the 2008 return. Big check. Self Doubt. My friend P suggests I get a tax person to do my returns from now on. This may be one of those "signs of aging" that I have to acknowledge.

Today: the library to return three books and pick up two; the grocery store for a few items and some fruit, hummus, carrots and lettuce for my work lunches; a walk with Riley; pay bills that are stacked in a large pile on the table and balance the checkbook. Reheated lasagna for dinner so no worries about cooking today.

Today isn't the kind of day when you want to be home. Too tempting to just curl up on the couch with a quilt and watch crappy television all afternoon. Better to be at work. Picking dead flowers and leaves off of plants. NOT.

Pink Peonies

I saved these blooms from the downpour and am enjoying their beauty here in the house. Why is it that the exuberant peony bloom happens during a rainstorm? There is a red peony bud that is open enough to be added to my bouquet today and perhaps tomorrow, a Bowl of Beauty bloom or Krinkled White. Those are the two "named" varieties I purchased last year. I have a feeling the blooms above have "names" but I have long forgotten them. The pink is very, very nice and quite fragrant. Sarah Bernhardt? But it is so full and I don't think Sarah is.

The pink peonies remind me of a LONG, delightful lunch (it ran into dinner it was so long) on the Rhine River in Germany one summer. We were eating, talking and drinking a lovely rose sekt out on the grape vine covered terrace of a lovely old hotel, watching boats glide past on the river. Inside, by the front desk, was a huge vase full of pink, fragrant peonies. That day was perfection. And whenever I see and smell pink peonies, I am taken back to that perfect day.

We had a break in the rain yesterday for a few hours. The Sun. Oh, I had missed it so much.

I got most of the laundry done yesterday and the lasagna was put together and baked. G got home late and we ate our dinner even later. Today is G's day off so we'll see if the rain holds off and we get some gardening in -- or not. The floors got vacuumed yesterday, G dropped a glass on the floor right before dinner, so we got to vacuum then and not today. Riley's beach towels were nice and clean from the washer and dryer so he slept on the floor. Contrary.

I am writing in my journal this morning, finishing a book I began reading yesterday, wanting to fill my stoop planter box with soil less mix and plant my "butterfly" garden of verbena, lavender, phlox, aster, scabiosa and lobelia. I also wanted to paint the planter box with the pint of purple paint I purchased when my son was here. Can't paint wet wood.

My little plants (purple New Guinea Impatiens) in the scavenged hanging baskets are beginning to get "leggy" and starting to send out purple blooms. I will get a photo today if there is enough light. I decided to go with purple (not a color I am comfortable with) as the accent color (fourth color) for my house. I have the Martha Stewart Shortbread on the clapboards and a green that exactly matches the color of rhododendron leaves on the shutters and front door and white on the porch columns and porch trim. The purple will be used in very small doses. A few flowers (hard to find deep purple flowers), a thin stripe, a purple jar or tub full of lime leafed annuals. Just enough. Not too much.

I may buy another 4 pack of the purple impatiens (I found another hanging basket in the pile next to the compost yesterday) when I go into work today to get my check and find out what days I work this coming week. Book Sale Week. Wednesday and Thursday I will be putting in my volunteer time (16 hours) to set up the annual book sale books on the 90 plus tables. I hear we have 50,000 items this year. UGH!

So, if it doesn't rain I will plant beans and replant peppers. If it rains, I will read and make a fabric collage. There's a new Poirot on Masterpiece Theater tonight. Oh, and I will have ice cream. It's summer. Even if I am wearing a flannel shirt and wool socks.

Almost Summer

My Lupines are blooming. Blue. Anyone else notice that only the blue variety is blooming? I still have yellow, white and pink varieties at work, in bloom, but nothing in anyone's yard or gardens. My own yellow and pink lupines are still only a small bouquet of leaves this year.

G moved the empty planter boxes to the back stoop (I was too "weak" to wrestle them out from behind the shed -- but I tried). I had planned to paint them (the leaf green of the shutters and perhaps some purple), add dirt and plant them with the $24 worth of "butterfly" plants I had selected on Tuesday. Scabiosa, aster, lavender and a lovely annual which will go nameless for now--since we are having quite a downpour of more rain right now and I don't want to go outside and read the plant tag. Everything blue. I will plant lobelia and blue petunias around the edge.

The lawn is spectacular. Due to all the rain. The mosquitos are outrageous. Do to all the rain. Riley isn't interested in going out. Due to all the rain. Which is literally pounding down on the roof right now. If we go out for our walk, I will have to wear the full rain suit (pants and hooded jacket). My peonies are ready to open and the rain will destroy them. Sigh.

I slept in until 10 this morning and in the two hours I have been awake, I have read blogs, written in my journal and eaten my breakfast cereal and had two cups of coffee. I have a pile of new library books to read (some that I may actually finish), a sewing project and the possibility of making lasagna (today or tomorrow). I don't return to work until Tuesday.

The house in Ohio has had two showings. Nice, but garage too small (wanted three car). Nice, but too small for family (three bedrooms but no family room). I created a small wish for the Universe yesterday evening in my journal. For the sale of the house. When I place my hand over the image it vibrates against my palm. Lots of energy. My dad was happy in the house and when I was there taking care of him for five weeks (four years ago) I was happy there, also.

Marianne: Yes, I WAS thinking of visiting you when I wrote about my passport!!!!

I went to Art Club this week and I didn't quite connect with the ladies. I didn't sit at their table for one. It seemed too crowded and there were others working separate from the group so I felt I could sit alone. I think I need to bring some fabric collage to stitch on and then sit closer to them. It's difficult for me to work on a paper collage so close to everyone. I need elbow room. They were all painting and gluing things to chunks of wood scrap. For some reason, they are having a "show" of these collages on wood in August. I did come closer every once in awhile to see what they were doing and offer bits of stuff from my box for their blocks of wood. And, yes, it was awkward for me but I was friendly and open and they were also.

See, I thought we would be making a paper collage and THEN mounting it on wood.

One of the Art Club members brought a huge bag of beads and stuff that she had gotten at a yard sale. All the stuff in the bag (and more) had been hanging from the yard sale owner's bed canopy. I got a very nice strand of aged silver colored beads for a collage quilt and a long (several yards) strand of huge "pearls" for my mosaic (on wood).

The Art club members had a tube of glue they were using that had, unfortunately, opened at the bottom end as well as the top. The people using the glue had it all over their hands. I was amazed that their fingers weren't stuck together as the label said it (glue) would adhere "everything to anything". I was checking it out as a possible glue for my mosaic but the bits of jewelry they were adding to the wood pieces kept falling off. Perhaps they needed to wait for it to dry because during show and tell (I had none) the bits seemed to finally be stuck.

I have to work on my people skills if I intend to continue going to Art Club.

Next week is Book Sale Week. Wednesday I tackle set up without a box count. And with 4000 books from a private collection on War & Military and Military Law. And with an enormous amount of History & Politics at nearby tables. And an equally enormous amount of Audio/Visual cassettes, tapes and discs. This may be the year that finally makes me "retire".

The only upside is that the Wednesday of book set up is ALWAYS the hottest day. Really, stinking hot and humid. I could use a really hot day after all this RAIN!!!! And, better still, we have a designated volunteer getting cookies made for the workers. I hope to have fruit skewers in my cooler. Bamboo sticks with chunks of pineapple, melon, watermelon and a big strawberry.

Where Am I Going?

I have my new work schedule for next week. Three short days. I had expected two short days. When gasoline prices started going up (speculative buying of futures by the financial markets) the buying in retail stores stopped. Everyone has a short supply of money and if (and this is the fear) the financial bottom feeders push gas and oil back up to $3 and even $4 a gallon just to make money, well, the economy will certainly TANK big time. They stopped last summer when the government warned they would intervene. And gas and oil went down. FAST. It was all speculative and never based on production or supply. Just on greed. I hope the government actually does intervene this time. So people will come back and buy plants and keep me employed.

We had ONE glorious summer day yesterday. Now, today, it's cold and raining again.

G took Riley to the ocean to swim yesterday instead of cutting the grass. Riley had never been swimming before and it took him a little time to figure out what to do when the bottom disappeared. He swam and then decided he was done swimming and the two of them came back home. An adventure.

Today, I am bleaching my white towels and tee shirts, boiling the shower head in vinegar water, exchanging the winter bedding for summer bedding (optimistic), vacuuming the carpets with my Dad's vacuum and drinking coffee. I am seriously thinking of opening the door to my studio and actually spending some of the day in there. Doing something with fabric or paint. Kind of scary. I haven't done anything with fabric since February and that was only to cut out squares and circles for a travel project. I also have the last 12 by 12 project to work on. I missed the June 1st deadline.

Where am I going? I have so many things to think about. So many paths that are possible. I don't want to look back in 20 years and see the missed opportunity to change my life. I still refuse to call myself an artist. I am not a quilter. I will admit to being a gardener. And, though I love to cook, I will not call myself a cook. I also will not take the title of writer even though I think that is my true passion.

I started a new journal last week. I listed all the foreign places I have visited. My son was surprised (as I was) to remember how very many places we had been. My life, so far, has been an interesting adventure. I want to continue to be surprised and interested in what I do, where I live and who and where I visit.

I have, just now, decided to get my passport renewed.

I ordered new books from my library, on line, this morning. I am going to read again. Make time for reading, again.

I am going to try new recipes --- frequently. Lo Mein this week or even today. I enjoyed the Black Bean Bisque I made a few weeks ago. I think I should expand my culinary choices. I may make a new salad dressing for my lunch salads.

I may dye or print with dye on old tee shirts and linen shirts. Become more colorful. Less all white.

I am going to experiment with new ways of making things. I have been visiting the blog Spirit Cloth and have come away with a new way of seeing fabric art. I am always going to have some bit or piece of fabric to hand stitch or print or write on. Right next to the journal.

I'm going to try. I'm going to fail. I'm going to change. I'm going to grow. I have no one to impress but myself. I am free to reinvent myself (as I have done all my life). I think this is where I was heading when I began the 365 day Healthy Eating Plan. I wanted to lose the weight and be "ready" to begin a new life. And I am ready, now.

One Very Sad Doggie

Hard Rain. The pup does not like rain. He likes big puddles, swamps, rivers and the ocean. But not rain falling on his head from the sky (or even water from a hose). So he is rolled up in a ball over there on his bed, groaning and moaning, and every once in awhile he sits up to stare at the rain falling outside "his" window. And then he throws himself down on the bed again.

Boy, do I wish we could both just stay home today. Curled up in a warm bed.

My boy has returned to his home in California. We put him on the Logan airport bus yesterday afternoon and from there he had a flight to Los Angeles and then a short "hop" to San Jose. He was hoping to get home by 1 or 2 am today. It sure was nice having him with me for nearly 11 days. The longest visit ever. G and I both had to work so we didn't get to spend the entire day with him, but each of us tried to work less hours. I wish he lived closer but he has established good friendships out west and enjoys the Silicon Valley and all that techie stuff. We are "out of the loop" here in Maine. Not cutting edge at all. Well, we are on the edge of the continent.

I have to buy new pepper plants today. The deer ate the growth tip out of the peppers so they won't (can't) grow anymore. I need to start over. Some of the eggplant have growth tips so I will hope they can develop into full plants. If not, I get to buy eggplant at the grocery.

I am reading a detective mystery by Tana French, In The Woods. I am enjoying the style in which Tana French writes but the story is going nowhere and getting sort of boring. It's a story about something which sounded very interesting, but eventually has become not so interesting. The jacket cover says "with a story like a freight train" and they must have meant the trains that mosey across the road while you are sitting and waiting for all 6000 cars to get past so you can move on. I think she made a very clumsy plot mistake early on and I have a pretty good idea of "who did it" and why. But, actually, I don't even care.

I got two garlic olive rolls at Whole Foods yesterday, some fresh mozzarella and a container of basil pesto. That's my dinner tonight.