Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Fiercely Independent

Rayna @ Studio 78 has a link to this Jackson Pollack site. Took me a while to figure out the blank screen. You have to just begin moving the mouse. I made a really nice floral one but in my exuberance I deleted it before snapping a picture. I intend to try this on a very large scale with paint and white fabric.

The second one. Just happens to be in this colorway. You have no control over the colors that come up when you click. And when you see the next picture you will see why this particular scribble has me so "gob-smaked".

My latest work. See all the squiggly lines? Now I wish they were darker and more blobby. This is old (50's) white blanket wool, batik commercial cotton and beige needlepoint canvas layered, stitched, buttoned, tied. Tactile. Zen. I don't know if it's done yet. I may want to splatter India ink over it. The piece is small, probably not even 18 inches square.

The title above came to me as I was thinking about my 84 year old father. Who would rather be dead than give up his independence. I understand. I am my father's daughter.

On a different subject, my husband has been without employment for a month now. He is driving me to work longer hours away from home. I may even look for another part time job. Every time I turn around, he is there. I feel like I'm trapped. And of course, when backed to the wall, I lash out. There are lots of hurt feelings on his part.

He has had two of a possible three interviews with Target for a cashier's job (?). They have interviewed him like crazy but no one has yet even mentioned "the job" he might be hired to do, the hours, the pay. Nothing. They are smart enough to know he is WAY, WAY over-qualified for the job --whatever it is- in fact he taught a "cashier's class" for his last employer when he worked for them. A recruiter has called about a training job in Illinois but the employer doesn't really want to relocate someone. He continues taking his internet "transition" program that the company is providing. This is where you train for jobs that don't exist. A friend of mine is giving him aptitude tests to see if he could work as an independent consultant. And basically he is drifting. Does he just want a "regular joe" job or does he want a corporate job. How hard does he want to work for the next 7 years. I have even mentioned selling this big house and moving to something much smaller. He isn't liking that.

Me? I just wanted to work less and make more art. Now I'm working more and never seeing the inside of my workroom. Life. It just happens sometimes.


Deborah said...

More scribbles on the small quilt! I love it.

Having just been through major career changes with my husband, I can identify. You're not alone. Hang in there.

Shelina said...

I feel for you, and for him Joanne. When you don't have a job, you lose your self confidence and momentum. And then I find I am too overqualified to do the things I can do, and not qualified to do the things that will pay me better. And too many options of jobs you can apply for. Hang in there.