Resume Normal Life

The vacation is over and now I have to sort through all the mess I left unfinished and behind. I was thrilled to spend a week in K's guest room. Clean, white furniture, empty closet, tan walls. A bedside table holding only a lamp and my nightly glass of water, my reading book and journal, pen and glue stick. One, beautifully upholstered chair. Simplicity. Oh, if only my own bedroom (home) was as peaceful.

I always return from my visits with K with a "new" habit. This time I arrived home with two huge containers of dry powder Publix coffee creamer. I just love this stuff and it's only 10 calories a teaspoon. Total satisfaction of the coffee tastebuds for 30 calories. Heaven! I very nearly licked my coffee cup dry the first morning. I had brought the coffee beans from Maine--Big House by Wicked Joe's. Double Heaven!

The weather wasn't as warm as I would have liked but I arranged my chairs in the weak sunshine anyway and came home with a respectable summer tan. I have light sensitive skin and change color with any sun exposure. I feel so much better now that I am "brown" again. And my internal batteries are recharged by the exposure to all that vitamin D.

I never did my daily walk with K. I never walked at all. I ate terrible things in restaurants (BBQ chicken nachos, Carne Asada fajitas and Hooter's breaded wings, med sauce) and I ate good things like BBQ salad. I had a bowl of dry cereal, toasted raisin bagels and yogurts for breakfast (not all on the same day) instead of the usual daily bowls of oatmeal. I had margaritas and Tom Collins to drink. In other words, I vacationed.

K and I did go shopping for fabric one day and the next day we cut, sewed and layered a 40 by 60 baby quilt and K started hand quilting it-- all on the same day. And it was cute. Dick and Jane. That was the ONLY work we did the whole time I was there. I did cook three meals which everyone enjoyed including a wonderful fat free lentil soup.

Not all was rosy though. K noticed a difference in my personality that was not evident when I was "happy and carefree" and still overweight. She feels I am not happy. And, in my own defense, I have to say that the past 14 months have been hard on me. All the "food police" stuff I have had to do, all the rigid control, the exercise, hasn't been FUN, CAREFREE or HAPPY. And I still have to watch what I eat, make sure I walk etc. Vigilance takes a lot out of a personality. So I must have lost a lot of "happy" along with the pounds.

What's Good Today: Being home. My puppy who is "resting" after 8 days of running with the big dogs at his breeding kennel. He has returned to us with new, big dog behaviors (turning three times in a circle before laying on his bed, ruffing at squirrels-- still no barking, deep breathing when he sleeps). A newly steam cleaned kitchen. G cleaned every surface of the counters, stove top, oven, pizza stone and refrigerator door gaskets with his professional grade steamer. My oven looks brand new. He also vacuumed and did all the laundry. Sleeping till 11 am this morning.

What's Not: The mess I left behind. And I am perplexed by the sudden wave of sadness and tears that washed over me (unexpectedly) as the plane approached the runway on my return flight. Why?