Last Ice Cream Cone In 2009

Tomorrow is the last day of August. Then it's September. And we start counting down to my birthday. Yay!!!!. Bravo is having some kind of Georgia O'Keeffe movie on the 15th and Survivor begins on the 17th. I'm making a chart of all the stuff that's happening. And my haircut is on the 3rd. I could even pick out new eyeglass frames this month. That would be amazingly exciting if they were "cool" frames. I'll wait to see how amazing the new haircut is. Or isn't. I should plan on a new and exciting lunch for the month of September. Today is the last day to get an ice cream cone until next year. Butter Pecan or Strawberry?

I'm working on two of the Friend of Twelve by Twelve pieces that I missed the deadline for in June and August. I'm hoping to post them tomorrow. Identity and Passion. They are much different than what I would have made at the time they were due. I like them. I may even remake Water. I'd like to frame all 12 and hang them somewhere. Like a coffee shop or library. It's a thought. The last one is Twelve. Should have seen that coming!!!!

I finished one disc of Season One of Mad Men. In one episode, two women are sitting in the kitchen, in dresses, stockings and heels, smoking. One is pregnant. Their kids, in another part of the house, are getting noisy so Betty calls them in. They are playing "Spaceman". Wearing dry cleaning bags over their heads. Betty says to the 8 year old daughter, "if I find the dry cleaning that was in that bag, on the floor, you are going to be in big trouble young lady". 1959. And we survived! And, of course, no seat belts in the car. Betty sent Don out to get the 8 year old daughter's birthday cake (big party at the house) and Don had been drinking all day (and smoking) so he went and got the cake and drove home but didn't want to go back inside, so he drove off with the cake and never came back home until very late. No birthday cake. Jeez. It brought back cozy memories of my childhood. Don could have made everyone happy by leaving the cake box on the lawn and THEN driving away. I'm always trying to "fix" the things that went wrong.

This is WHY I always baked MY OWN CAKE for my birthday. Even as a child. I was never disappointed that way. A survivor. Mad Men may be too brutal for me. We'll see.

I need to take a shower, finish the laundry, put clean sheets on the bed and figure out something to cook for dinner. G has walked the dog and vacuumed the floor. I have two more discs of Mad Men to watch before Tuesday. Six episodes. And Ice Cream. We have Chinese Dumplings in the freezer to sample for lunch or not. Busy Day. :-)

See you in September!!!

Just For Myself Wednesday

Today the dog went to day care and I went out looking for a good time. It wasn't easy. I'm not used to having a good time by myself. All of my activities were predicated by the showing time for Julie & Julia at 1 pm. It was PERFECTION. In fact, if they allowed such things, I would have stayed in my seat and watched it all over again. It was that beautiful to watch. The colors, clothes and food in such pretty blues, reds, and creamy yellows.

I wish I had had time for a better lunch. I wish I could have had lunch at 111 Maine. But I did get the new Sharpie pens I wanted with a $6 coupon at Staples so they cost $1.04. And I found a lovely silk tie for G at Goodwill for one dollar. And I got the lovely white with graphite gray stripe Calvin Klein men's shirt that I had wanted, for ten dollars on clearance. I look very nice in gray.

The weather was decently cool last night but warmed up and got humid again today. I'm contemplating turning on the A/C as the sky continues to darken (4:30) this afternoon. I need to turn on the house lights. And if it starts to rain, I will have to close the windows.

No West Wing today. Bravo showed a movie this morning instead. My DVD of the first season of Life arrived. Pretty thin. And I noticed that there have been two seasons of Mad Men and I got a very late start. Anyone out there know the best solution to seeing the seasons I have missed? I don't think I want to buy them at $49 each. The Life season one was only $18.99. Probably because there are only 8 hours on the disc.

Time for an iced coffee.

Sunday "white" Biscuits

I have been getting up earlier than G for the past few weeks. And I get the biscuits ready to this point, while we (Riley and I) wait for G to get up. Then I mix the milk into the dry ingredients and pat out my dough and cut biscuits. I usually get eight. Two cups of flour, scant teaspoon of salt and three teaspoons of baking powder with 1/4 cup shortening cut into the mixed dry stuff. Then I add 3/4 cup milk. Some times a bit more if I haven't fluffed the flour well before scooping. 425 degrees for about 12 minutes. I check for a bit of browning on the biscuit bottoms. I have used this recipe for about 40 years and just this year (please don't laugh too much) memorized it. For 40 years I had to go find the recipe card before I could make the biscuits. And for 35 of those 40 years, these biscuits were known by everyone who ever ate them, as "white" biscuits because they never even get tan or beige or any color on them. Now I use the "butter" Crisco sticks and they get some color to them. I have also used buttermilk or soured milk instead of plain milk. Then I need to add 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda.

Yesterday was a slow day at work. Not many customers in the morning but later in the day we had quite a few "anniversary" purchases. Husbands indulgently purchasing plants, fire pits and bird baths for their brides. One husband, after running his credit card through twice for two separate expensive purchases, was heard to say, "does this mean we can skip dinner out?" Another was calling around looking for 12 white, double peonies.

The six of us working yesterday did Suduko puzzles up front. The plants were well watered and it was hot. So we were all up front where we have a fan and available (at least I was) to answer questions and solve problems. I sorted through a bunch of deceased leaves, bugs and self made problems. One guy had scrubbed paint off his shingled house with baking soda. Which is caustic in large quantities. So his grass, peonies and shrubs were burned. And all I could suggest was something to acidify the soil in hopes of changing the chemistry.

I'm tired today. It's hot and humid. Tough sleeping. And I keep waking up at around 1 or 2 in the morning and not being able to fall back to sleep. And I forgot to put the pork I bought yesterday into the crock pot over night for pulled pork. I did remember to make pizza for dinner last night. And we had tiny slivers of the lemon ricotta cheesecake I made. I scatter fresh blueberries all over the cheesecake. So I have to think of something to eat today.

We went out to eat (using a gift certificate) and it wasn't a wonderful experience. For $100. I could prepare better food myself. I really dislike going out for a special, upscale meal and being so very disappointed by the food. Even the mussels were bland and needed to be salted. My Cuban Shrimp were so over seasoned and sauced that they ruined the rice. And the black beans were truly disgusting. And I had to ask for iced water. They gave me warm tap water.

Time for biscuits. Only seven today.

Stranger Things Have Happened

Riley & Me:
Dog owners seem to purchase, adopt, bond with dogs who strongly resemble themselves. I didn't think that was true of Riley & I because Riley is such a beautiful animal and neither G or I could be described as beautiful. But last night, while brushing my teeth, I looked into my mirror and saw a lab's eyes looking back at me.

My Journal:
I decided to read what was happening in my journal last August. I was upset about an 8 pound weight gain and set to "diet" it away. Guess THAT didn't go very well as the weight gain is now 25 pounds. My garden was cloudy and wet with few zucchini and no tomatoes. Just like this year's garden. Eventually, there were tomatoes. Not many. So I will be patient. I also found that I was tired from working 39 hours a week. That came as a surprise.

My Summer:
I decided to have "summer", finally. Reading books on white slipcovered couches, eating apricots, drinking iced coffee, eating Parmesan Chicken with sliced, vinegary cucumbers from the garden and steamed Jasmine rice. Going out for ice cream (our Cote's closes on the 30th of this month), sitting outside with the dog. I can't wrap my hips in a long piece of batik this summer as the hips are too large. All my regained weight is in the "saddle bags" area. But I am wearing baggy linen shorts and no shoes in the house.

My Attitude:
I have had to adjust and re-adjust my emotional balance since my dad died. I think I'm arriving at a good place, finally. I have come to terms with the sale of the house in Ohio and the fact that it is a buyers market and if I want to eventually sell the house, I must give away most of my imagined profit in radon mitigation, a new power box and a new roof. "As Is" doesn't mean anything. G has agreed to give up the stuff he has in the Ohio basement and not drive all the way there and back to get it. I am relieved. I am giving up my maple dresser. There's one for sale in the local paper. Listed the day we decided not to go get the one I grew up with.

My Work:
I may use my winter furlough to look for another job or I may just set a schedule for myself (with doggie daycare) to work on my art and household projects for a period of time. I was very happy to work at the greenhouse. And there are still moments when I enjoy it quite a bit. But mostly, I am bored and eager for time to go home. Time to move on.

My House:
The sale of the Ohio house has been a wake up call on my house in Maine. We have lived here nearly 20 years and have done very little to keep the house "current" with the housing market. Now that I see what will happen when we try to sell this house, I can see the amount of work required and changes we need to start making. Even the garden beds have suffered because of my going back to work in 1997. The house has a great coat of paint but needs a new roof, new windows and the driveway needs a make over. We need to modernize the bathrooms, replace the carpeting and paint the walls, ceilings and trim. We become complacent. Your home is a major investment. G and I should have taken better care of our home.

My Body:
I don't want to be over weight. So instead of dieting, which is SO NOT working for me right now, I decided to just make better decisions, whenever I decide to eat something. To stop and decide if eating something is what I really want to do. To be more conscious of every time I want to eat something. And to drink more water. And seriously consider going to an gym. I think I'd like the rowing machine. Or I could just carry a few large rocks to the back yard and then carry them back to the front yard every day. Or have the chimney knocked down and haul the bricks and cement rubble to some low area in the side yard. I need more physical labor. Walking the dog is bad for my hip bursitis.

My Art:
Seriously unhappy that Art Club isn't a good fit for me. I could use it to network but that concept doesn't feel good to me right now. And Art Club won't get me to make art. I need to be with artists who are making things, having problems with the work, learning new things. I need the stimulation of creative exploration. I had always thought it would be fun to return to art school. I have the money to do that now. Do I really want to? And I know workshops aren't of any use to me.

My Day:
G is home and is now out walking the dog. I want to do something on my own. Don't know what.

Veggie Burgers

I had this recipe and wanted to try it out. Grated sweet potato, carrot and onion bound with one egg, one cup flour, teaspoon of baking powder, salt and pepper and garlic. Divide into 6 burgers and fry in hot oil four minutes on each side.

They are crispy and sort of candy like on the outside and still unfinished on the inside. But I have eaten two and enjoyed them a great deal. I think a lower temp in the frying and longer on each side and the center may get solid. It's amazing how wet one egg can be.

My friend Patty gave me the recipe and she brought her version one evening for dinner. She had added more egg and some leftover rice and cheese to hers.

Even with it's squishy center, these burgers are 100% better than the frozen ones at the grocery. Very tasty. Even better with bacon and fried onions, I bet.

It's hot and sunny today and I have the a/c on and only walked the dog one mile. It was too hot out there. He did all his business and is now laying flat out on the tile floor in the sunroom with the overhead fan cooling him off. I have the hose running in the veg garden and need to do a bit of weed pulling when I go shut the water off. I got some beans, 2 zucchini and a few misfit cucumbers. There are tomatoes on my plants but also evidence of blight.

Already we are seeing shortages of produce in the grocery. No spinach or tomatoes. Plenty of cucumbers and squash. From somewhere else. Lots of corn. Maine blueberries. Five dollar small watermelons.

We are having Mexican Casserole tonight with guacamole made with the two avocados I bought last week. They still look okay. I may or may not make my own enchilada sauce. I'm on the fence and may go to the store in a few minutes and pick up a can. Along with a package of pitas. I promised a co worker a veggie burger tomorrow. I think I will bake them for awhile in the lunchroom toaster oven before serving with lettuce and cucumbers.

I also need to buy more ice pops for the work freezer. Little treats for hot days.

Dog Days

Of summer and in my life right now. Riley and I are doing "morning" and letting G sleep in on his first weekend off since starting his new career. I don't have the "play time" thing going yet so Riley is a bit unsure of his morning routine. He does know that when I turn on the television to watch cooking shows or West Wing that nothing dog related is going to happen so he just sighs and takes a nap. Okay with me.

Riley likes to go out and relax on the back stoop and watch over the back yard. Even in 90 degree sun. YES. We are having summer weather, finally. I don't let him stay out there very long. If I go out with him, (which he likes very much), he will go out on the shaded lawn and chew his sticks. But only if I am also out on the lawn.

So, I was up and dressed by 7 am. And I have made the coffee and mixed and am baking a Kahlua Chocolate Cake for my daughter's birthday today. Later today, she and I will drive to Augusta to do some mall shopping and have a birthday lunch. Sam was born on the same weekend as the huge Woodstock event. Not at the event. But still, our very own little hippie rocker baby. She even had her own little love beads. Until I realized she could choke on them.

I read an entire book yesterday starting at about 3 pm. "Die For You" by Lisa Unger. Her first book "Beautiful Lies" was so exciting but this one, while it had a very interesting plot idea, just fell flat about 3/4 the way through. Where ARE the book editors? Really! Where are the editors. Nearly every new release I have read this year starts out great and then completely goes to crap at the 3/4 mark. Sometimes even at the halfway point. I guess the editors figure you "bought" the book and if you don't get a good read, so what. They have their money.

A friend gave me her copy of "Olive Kitteridge". A good, depressing read. I am so NOT going to read that. And she gave me "The Tattooed Girl" about racism and hate. Not going to read that one either. The books I do want to read are stalled in the library waiting game.

Some of the college kids have worked their last days. The schedule is in flux. We, the more senior employees, are waiting to see how things shake down for the fall season. We only have three "boys" right now. And our leader has promised "full time" to a few employees who are only getting 28 hours a week right now. I continue to be scheduled for two days a week (14 hours) and sometimes I get the 8 hours on Saturday also. Like next weekend.

I'm right on the edge of not wanting to continue working at the greenhouse. When we are busy, the days fly. But when business is slow, it's a LONG day. But Christmas is coming (isn't retail strange?) and Christmas was very exciting last year and it smells awesome. Then I get laid off for 3 months. I wonder what Christmas 2009 will be like? Will people buy things? We see a lot of "sale only" shopping at the greenhouse but still have quite a bit of full price buying. This may be the true test of whether the economy has turned the corner.

My cake is done and I poured the melted butter, sugar and Kahlua over it. And now all the cake has to do is cool for four hours. It's a very moist, dense, fudgey chocolate cake. Excellent with best quality vanilla ice cream. And birthday candles.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Wednesday, August 12

I like posting on Wednesdays. Wednesday's Child and all. Only one month and six days until my birthday. I love my birthday. You know that!

I am having a very lazy day today. I had the most puzzling dream and then remembered that on Monday I watched about 6 episodes of Mad Men. Which explains the dream. In the 60's, in a strange hotel with a strange man wearing suits. And a large amphibious creature working the front desk. And it was always twilight, never day time or night. The world of advertising.

Still watching episodes of West Wing. I am liking the President less and his staff more as the episodes go on. He's running for reelection. And the guy from NCIS was on the 2002 episode I watched this morning as a Secret Service guy protecting CJ from something. NCIS is my second favorite thing to watch this summer. Mainly because there isn't much Law and Order to be seen.

I visited the library this morning. We have had a shut down of the intra state library loan system whereby we borrow books from any library in Maine and a courier service shuttles totes of books around, sorts by library and delivers them to the borrowing library. The courier service quit. The state signed with another. After two weeks, they quit. The volume of books traveling is quite large. And my library is a huge borrower and lender. So we are left with only the books we have on our shelves (unless they were borrowed by another library before the couriers quit, in that case, they are still "somewhere" else). I want the new books I have ordered. Whine!!!! So I had to look on the shelves for something for me to read and more importantly, something for G to read. I have been selecting his books for years now. And he reads a lot of books. We are trying two new authors for G.

Then I went to the grocery and got onions, bell peppers and jalapenos to go with the zucchini from the garden to make more zucchini pickles. I have everything sliced and salted. In three hours I will be boiling water and cooking the vegetables in 3 cups of vinegar and 5 cups of sugar along with various spices. Canning time. Because it's hot and humid today. I sliced all the zucchini I had so that I can fill more than five pints today. I also bought vegetable sushi for my lunch. It was too much. I couldn't finish it.

My real estate agent left me an email message very late on Monday evening saying they were having a home inspection on Tuesday and she hoped the water had been turned back on. I called the water department in Ohio in the morning and left two messages and numbers for them to call me back. They didn't. And I haven't heard from the agent. I'm going to assume everything went well. It takes awhile to get the home inspection report.

The nervous tick in my eye has disappeared. My spider bite is healing. No redness or swelling. I'm trying to make an appointment for a haircut with a new stylist. No luck so far. I don't think anyone cuts hair on Wednesdays. I haven't walked the dog yet. Don't really want to but he's very sad about it so I guess I'll have to go out into the humid bug infested world and walk him.

G called me on his cell and then gave up, only the call connected already and didn't disconnect. I could hear the noises from the restaurant and I could hear him talking so I just kept yelling "HEY" and "HELLO" getting progressive louder each time and finally he noticed his phone had a voice inside it. That had to have been the most interesting thing that happened today.

Orange Hot

Another sunny day. I can't complain. After all that miserable cold and rain. We steamed lobsters yesterday for dinner. A co-worker is related to a lobsterman and she was selling lobsters for $4.50 each. So I bought 4. And then learned how to steam them. I know we over cooked them. Kind of. But they were nice and red and went well with the melted butter. Later, after washing the kitchen down and spraying room freshener, we drove out to see if we could get ice cream before Cote's closed for the evening. We made it.

On either Wednesday or Thursday I got a spider bite at work while I was washing down the greenhouse floors. I didn't think much of it until it started itching, leaking and until my ankle and leg started getting red and hot. Then I thought maybe I should pay attention. Friday evening I went to bed and my ankle hurt and was very hot. I promised myself a visit to the ER if it looked the same or worse Saturday morning. It looked better. It was still puffy but not red or hot. Today, it's still leaking but no swelling and no heat. Spider bites can be dangerous. This spider bite seems to be just like all the other bites I've gotten since moving to Maine.

I signed and returned the contract to sell the Ohio house. Tomorrow I have to call and have the water turned back on. And, of course, the BMV has rejected my application to transfer the Ohio title to a Maine title. Essentially, they want me to fill out a form that says I am selling the car to myself. Even though I gave them the probate release.

In other news of Maine stupidity, the road work on Maine street is coming to an end. Parts of a long stretch of Maine street were dug up for new sewers and rain water sewers. Now that they have done all this nice, new work, they are laying down a 3 inch layer of asphalt OVER repairs, potholes, repaired potholes and whatever else is in the street. First big snow and EVERY one of the underlying repairs will POP UP as the plow goes over and take the 3 inches of new asphalt plus more with it. They could have taken a week or so and ground the roadway down to a good surface and then put the asphalt down. But NO. That would be smart and they aren't smart. And if they had ground the surface down they wouldn't have to spend the next few weeks and months RAISING the curbs. Job security for government employees. Town government. My taxes.

Lunchtime here, at almost 3 pm. I was vacuuming the floors (dog hair) and need to finish some laundry and iron G's white work shirts. I watered the garden and should check for cucumbers and zucchini. G brought in a peach off my tree and it was full of bugs (worms). Some raspberries are getting ripe and Riley is eating the ones outside the fence. Should be blueberries also. I saw some flowers on my eggplant and a few on the tiny tomatoes, peppers and beans. Not much time left for them to grow.

We're having reheated pizza.

Good News & Big News

Well, August might not be as awful as I said last time. I'm beginning day five of the new 42 day diet and things are going along very well. I have lots of energy and enthusiasm for all my endeavors, even though I lose steam by 7 pm. Which is okay.

Big News : Last night at 10 pm I accepted an offer on the house in Ohio. I had "put" a number out in the Universe for the house. Not the list price, but the price I was willing to accept to get the house sold before winter. Next afternoon someone who had looked at the house before and thought it was too high, came back for a second visit. We never had gotten a second visit before. And yesterday I got an email saying an offer would be sent over in the evening. The phone calls began around 7:30 or 8 and by 10 pm it was done. We just need to sign things and then let the bank and the inspections begin. Closing is set for September 18. My birthday.

I slept very well last night and instead of the huge tax check I was going to have to write--I only have to write a small one to cover the months till the closing.

I know my father would not be happy with the sales price but he should have had some inside painting and improvements done over the 20 years he lived there. There is so much work to be done in that house. I know how much. We were getting estimates to have some of it done. And I am VERY happy to not be paying for that!!!

Theres a lot to be said for "just" getting a property sold in this market. We have a signed offer. Life is good this morning. And it's not raining.

Update

I have gotten through the first two days of my 1200 calorie diet successfully. I even participated in a long walk with a friend (sans dog) which made me feel good. My calorie levels for the first two days were under 1200 by 200 or 300 calories. Yes, I'm hungry.

I'm following the directive of no food after 8 pm. And since we eat dinner at 6:30 or 7 this isn't hard to do. The afternoon is the hardest time for me. And lunch. So I haven't eaten lunch the first two days. Just a piece of fruit and an ounce of cheese.

The realtor called and we have a "potential" interested buyer. This is because I wrote an email saying that I had listed the house "as is" hoping to get an insultingly low offer, which I would accept and the house would be sold. So. Let's see if they can make the insulting offer this week. In Ohio, buyers don't have the bloodthirsty pirate mentality of Maine, Florida and Illinois, all places where I have bought and sold houses with gusto and spirit and several insulting offers. The listing price was only a "suggestion" never a reality. In Ohio, the buyers take the list price as reality. I guess. No wonder they have a 40 month backlog. And no wonder they elected Boehner as their senator in Congress. Pronounced correctly as Boner. Not Bayner.

My happiness/ sadness ratio is more on the happy side today. My son demands that I be happy so I'm trying to be happy. He reads this blog. In fact, he is the reason I blog. He thought it would be a fun thing for me to do. And he was correct. My Blog-O-Versary is coming up soon.

Eye doctor. Bank to deposit paychecks. Work for three hours. Dinner with friends this evening at the local Memphis Rib place. Top Chef Masters when I get home. A GOOD day. A BUSY day. And I think the sun is supposed to be shining and it's gonna be HOT!

I watered my garden while I was on my walk yesterday. Ever the optimist. At least where the garden is concerned.

In the Weeds

While pulling weeds, I noticed I had onions. Not the large onions promised on the package I bought, but little 2 inch firm ones. They will taste good I hope. Right now they are out in the sunshine drying off.

I also "weeded" some baby carrots, cucumbers and a few large zucchini. Not the mammoth ones as big as watermelons. Just bigger than I usually let them get. I also cut the flowering stalks off my parsley (which I never think to cut for meal prep), tarragon and chives. And uncovered my basil which was doing well on it's own. Tomatoes and fresh mozzarella are going on my shopping list. I harvested, and promptly ate, the handful of blueberries.

My tomato plants have yellow flowers but no fruit yet. And the best, and healthiest plant, is the one in the compost bin. As usual. I should just plant them there. Everything looks spindly. I think all the rain has washed the fertilizer I added at the beginning, right out of the soil. Into the paths. Where the weeds are exuberant.

I tried to take a picture of myself when I was done gardening an hour ago. Dirt everywhere. In my hair. All over my face, knees, feet, arms. So dirty that my shower ball is now gray instead of pink. Perhaps I should have spritzed myself with Simple Green?

And then I weighed myself. Give me strength. This battle I must wage is so very difficult. I have been trying, but giving in to the "wants" and "needs" far too often. Comforting myself and rewarding myself with food. I truly detest the weighing, measuring and counting of the diet. It takes up so much of my time. But if I don't do it, every extra 10, 50 or 100 calories adds up.

I like having a bowl of cold cereal with milk in the summer for breakfast. 400 calories. My lunchtime salad 480 calories because of the dry cranberries and crispy Chinese noodles. I can continue to eat this way as long as my dinner is 320 calories minus my afternoon apple. So dinner is 200 unless I skip the apple. You can see where this all goes wrong can't you? Who eats a 200 calorie dinner? I have to stay at 1200 calories in order to lose ANY weight. And it's far better if two or three days a week I barely touch 800. I either skip breakfast or lunch.

When I was on the "diet" I had oatmeal and tea everyday for breakfast. No lunch. Just a 70 calorie low fat ounce of cheese and an apple. Usually, just the cheese. And the rest of the calories were spent on dinner. I got down to 800 by having a salad for dinner a few times a week. 265 plus 200 plus 400 equals 865 for the day. I got used to eating that way. I wasn't happy about it. All day long, it was negative. It was always about what I couldn't have. And I still was cooking regular meals for my husband, including chocolate chip cookies, brownies, pizza and pasta. Add a new puppy to the mix and I'm surprised I was successful.

But I was very angry most of the time. No wonder I lost my job. And now I have to do it again. When I had promised myself that if I did the diet for one full year, I would never have to diet again. I actually thought I would have learned to BE THIN. Instead, I learned to wait for the diet to end and then slowly began eating a few more calories each day. Anything over 1500 is a problem for me. 1500. Pitiful after 365 days of 1200 or less.

So here I am at 185 instead of 160. Here I am wearing size 16 pants when I have size 12's in the closet. (all the weight came back and settled on my hips and butt) Here I am facing another 3 to 6 months of NO NO NO NO NO NO. Actually, here I am facing TWENTY YEARS of NO NO NO. A lifetime of "no you can't have any of that". A bowl of shredded wheat with milk. No. I have tears running down my face as I type this.

In restaurants, the chef says they are "in the weeds" when things are going very badly. I'm in the weeds dear readers. Things are going very badly.

Disgusting August, 2009

Let me count the ways the first days of August disgust me. Mosquitoes. Horse and Deer Flies. Humidity. Itching. Weeds. More Rain. Tomato Blight. Failure to get a good night's sleep. Wearing socks and having hot feet. Not wearing socks and having stones in your shoes. Wanting to eat. Not wanting to cook. Wanting ice cream. Long lines to buy ice cream. Traffic.

The traffic thing gets out of control here in Maine. Vacationland. Every freaking idiot in the other 49 states and various foreign countries has decided to come to Maine, in August, and drive erratically, in the car in front of mine. They are also clogging up the lines at all my favorite restaurants and ice cream stands. And I have to got to get to work, appointments and buy groceries, while trying to "work" around their crazy vacationing lifestyle.

So I'm testy. And I scream "asshole" a lot while driving. My dad's favorite word.

The little blaze orange Fit is now registered in Maine and has Maine insurance. I sent a large four figure check to the insurance broker to cover 6 months of vacant house coverage for the Ohio house. We are having estimates for painting and new carpet in the Ohio house. In case you were wondering what I was spending my inheritance on. Ahem.

Today, G is cutting the grass (because he didn't want to cut it yesterday) and we are going to eat lunch at the Mexican place in Auburn. I'm planning on spending some of my inheritance on a large salted Margarita. I might be happier with more ice cold beer, salty Margaritas and icy Tom Collins. Prime Suspect on public television tonight. A/C installed in the window here at home to keep us dry and chilled.

I worked four days last week. I was hot, dirty, itchy and smelly. And there were no free ice pops in the lunchroom freezer. I even had to go down cellar and carry the 5 gallon water replacement bottle up the rickety stairs and install it into the drink machine. So we could have drinking water. And there were mosquitoes in the lunchroom. And a nerve in my left eye keeps twitching. God. I sound like a psycho.

I get my teeth cleaned this week and my eyes checked (the twitch).

I invited Sam (my daughter) to attend Art Club with me this week. So, of course, an invited guest turned out to be one of those "talking head" Me&Me&Me people. She glues crystals to shoes. But in her mind she studies the "architecture of the shoe and creates intricate and one of a kind designs that should cost $5000 per pair of shoes etc." Yes, indeed. A line of crystals around the top edge of a shoe is a departure from any known design, as is a snowflake on the heel or a toe covered in crystals. And we had to hear about the trials of her shoe size. And the cost of the undecorated shoes. Ferragamo. $500. At least. My daughter told her to contact some drag queens and sell her shoes to them. And then we drifted away, as far away as possible, to work on projects. Sam won't be returning.

Art Club. Just not working for me. And I so WANTED it to WORK for me. I need some artistic help here, people! Or, at least, a really GOOD LAUGH!

Fava Beans & Simply Green

The inside of these large pods is fluffy, padded and dense white fiber. And the beans themselves are very organic with pod attachments. I wonder who decided this food was edible. The first time. Don't you think about that when you look at some of the things we eat? Tom Selleck (yum) was interviewed by Rachel Ray and he doesn't like vegetables or figs. They don't look "finished" to him. Tom thinks figs are "finished" when inside a fig newton. And only then.

I don't think Tom (or G) would venture into eating a Fava Bean. They need to be shelled. Then steamed. And then peeled of their outer, inedible skin, and finally sauteed and eaten. I have a large bag full. They can be frozen with the outer skin still on. I ate some raw, with the skin, some peeled and still raw and some sauteed in a bok choy lo mein. They taste like big green peas. Slightly sweet. A bit starchy. Green.

I have zucchini, onion, bell peppers (red and green), jalapenos, garlic, salt and ice cubes sitting for another few hours while I ready the canning jars and the bread and butter vinegar, sugar and spices. Pickle time. It's 80 degrees and about 100% humidity. Always make pickles when it's stinking hot. Because pickle makers are crazy as loons.

I worked yesterday and had a pot roast in the crock pot all day so I would have a "good dinner" when I got home. Friday and Sunday we were scrubbing the entire greenhouse floor with "Simple Green". Removing dirt and this black jelly mold. Four of us. And some others worked on it on Saturday also. I can't say I would have been voted "most popular" on Sunday when I got the simple green, floor brushes and the hose ready. But they pitched in and helped.

On Saturday, having witnessed the miracle that is Simple Green at work, I bought a bottle and scrubbed all the nice dirty tiles on my sunporch at home. Why I selected the vanilla color for the tiles is beyond understanding. But now that they are "simply" CLEAN and vanilla again--I'm loving them. And looking for other things to spray that green magic on.

I love to clean up messes. I love seeing the progress of my work. And I adore the end result, which is visible. That's why I love laundry, clean sheets and ironing. I can SEE the results. This week, while G was gone, I scrubbed all the floors in the house. Without simple green. When it's hot and my feet are bare, I like all the floors to be super clean. I can sit and stare at my clean floors for long periods of time.

Been watching my TiVo'd West Wing episodes. Going by way too quickly. Already going into 2003. And Miss Marple. And Law and Order CI. Nickles may be my favorite character. And Diners & Dives on the Food channel. I have said NO to Big Brother, the Fashion Show and all the other new summer shows . I haven't opened any of my three books. I read three really quickly and now, not so interested in reading.

Also not so interested in walking the dog. We just got back from a walk and I felt like I was going to pass out. I get dizzy and sweaty and just want to lay down in the grass. Could be the heat and humidity, as I remember feeling like this last summer. Last year I worried about what the dog would do if I fainted. This year I know he'll sit with me. I have low blood pressure and this happens when I get stressed. I had a nice peanut butter sandwich and I feel much better now.

Well, it's been pleasant talking with you but I have canning jars to wash in the dishwasher. And pickles to make.

Scam Artist

This is incredible and true. I was out walking the dog over in the newer, more affluent neighborhood across from my own sort of affluent street this afternoon. And one of the home owners comes running from his backyard over to the dog and me.

"Hey," he says, "do you have any grandchildren?"

I said , "no", and laughing, asked if he had some to give away.

No, but he did have a really good story to tell me.

A few weeks ago a nice young man stopped by, introduced himself as my "grandson". He asked if the gentleman knew me, his grandmother. The young man said I often walked my dog, a black lab, over on this street. Of course, the neighbor did know me and my charming dog.

Well, as a wonderful and generous grandmother, I was sending my "grandson", a recent college graduate, to Europe for a year to study. But I wanted him to do something to "pay back" my generosity. I wanted him to sell magazines and books door to door and give the money he earned to charity. (well, now, that sounds like me, right?) (NOT)

The neighbor doesn't need any magazines or books. No problem. My "grandson" will send the entire amount to whichever children's hospital the neighbor chooses. So he writes a check.

Next day, my neighbor reads in the local paper about a scam artist in the next town. He calls the police in that town. They are concerned and tell him to see if the check has cleared. They refer him to the police in our town. Who don't care. (now that's a big surprise --- NOT)

So, I'm wondering how many of the nice people in this neighborhood have been scammed by my "grandson". And do they actually think he was my "grandson". And do I need to go door to door and apologize and write checks to reimburse them for any losses.

On the one hand, I am embarrassed and feel violated. On the other, I am intrigued by the thought that this well to do, retired executive thinks I have the financial resources to send my "grandchildren" to Europe for a year, all expenses paid.

How much do you think it would cost to send a grandchild to Europe for a year? Perhaps I should send myself.

Mosquito

G is in Orlando and I am on dog duty. Riley woke me at 7 am this morning with flappy-ing ears. I dressed and we went outside to do "morning business" along with about a million or so hungry mosquitoes. I mean, literally, about a million. Clouds of them.

It started to rain yesterday at about 6 pm and rained all night. When Riley and I walked at 11:30 last night (just around the garden) there was a misty, foggy rain falling and the bugs were so excited to have some "blood". Well, this morning they are hungry for BLOOD. They are all over both of us. Ugh! G has this stuff he buys and sprays around the house with the an attachment to the garden hose. Wish I knew how and what to do because the stuff really cuts down on the bugs. The sun also cuts down on bugs, but we won't be seeing the sun until Saturday.

Art Club is trying to participate in some kind of local venue art evening (slides of 2 pieces of work plus a 2 minute verbal by each artist) and I am getting repeat invites to "participate". Which has lead to me having to admit to everyone that I don't do "participate" very well or at all. Art Club members are all working on a small 3D collage assemblage for a coffee house show in September. Guess who isn't. I mean, I will make a collage, but the chances of it going into a show are very slim.

I am usually surprised that I post the bimonthly Friends of Twelve by Twelve piece. I missed the June first reveal (identity) and am not even working on the reveal for August first (passion). The wheels on this project have stopped rolling for me and once stopped, it is difficult to get the wheels in motion again.

I tried explaining that just thinking about a project and working on it (and sometimes almost finishing it) are enough for me. There are fabric artists who submit queries to a host of magazines in hopes of being published. And burn CD's and fill out applications and write artist statements to enter quilt shows and competitions. And pack and ship the quilts. Not me. I did it once. It was a rush to have been juried into a show, pack and ship. But not enough to continue doing it, keeping track of deadlines, and worst of all, making stuff to suit. There is NOTHING I detest more than working on something I have no interest in doing.

In order to see my work, you actually have to arrive at my house and demand to see stuff. Or appeal to my softer side by begging for work because you have no one else to ask. That's how I got into a two month, one artist, show last year.

When I worked at the library, I would hang my recent pieces up behind the CIRC desk to screen, from view, the CIRC workroom. Then patrons started asking about the work, started asking for new work, started requesting old favorites etc. They even began buying the work, literally off the wall. It was fun at first and then became another "job". I did enjoy helping new quilters with their projects, solving problems and teaching beginners. But, at the core, I was always happiest when it was over.

Right now I have about a dozen or so very promising pieces in various stages of progress. Some have been this way for years (about 8 years for one large 16 block applique). All the interesting problem solving/learning/experimenting is in the past. Now I only have the hard repetitious hours of work to do to finish. And why? Yes, that's the question I ask. Why finish them?

A friend, who long arm quilts my work, has been asking about that 16 block folkart Baltimore every year for 8 years. I have been saying that I am still hand appliquing the sawtooth strips that go around each block and haven't even begun to work on the borders. The quilt will be too big. I was making it king sized and not the twin size of the pattern which I stopped using after 5 blocks. I designed my own blocks. And the sawtooth strips (I've made 40 so far) are taking forever. So, in order to finish, I have to eliminate blocks and actually make the appliqued borders using elements from the original and newly designed blocks. I might have close to the number of strips if I only use 12 blocks. Or I can make two smaller wall quilts of 9 blocks each, meaning I will need to make 2 more designs and applique two more 18 inch square blocks. And we are talking about 10 year (or more) old fabric that needs to match and cover borders and new blocks and sawtooth strips. And the background fabric was an off beat choice and was damned difficult to find. Not many quilters applique on a polka dot background. Trust me on that point. I've shown these blocks and watched quilters wrinkle their foreheads in confusion. Why did she use that brown dotted fabric with the reds, blues and yellows? Because it looks nice. To me. And that's all that matters in the end.

What's this got to do with mosquitoes? I usually do have a roundabout point in these posts, eventually. Well. All these unfinished pieces are starting to "bite" me. Hound me. Why else am I thinking about these applique blocks after so long. And the piece on the design wall and the winter garden quilt. And the Twelve by Twelve "passion" piece. And the little applique circle blocks for the French quilt. Sucking the blood out of my creative self. Hard to do NEW work when the OLD work is in the studio screaming and stamping it's feet, louder with each passing year, month, day, hour.

Well, I am only working two days a week at the greenhouse. And I'd have to be a fool to actually go out into the garden, in the rain, to pull weeds. And I can muffle the screaming and stamping with the sound of the vacuum for only so long. Time to just "pull the work through" as a workshop instructor said. David Walker, I think.

I'll be here, pulling work through, and will post and photograph which ever thing I settle down to "pull through". And I'll walk the dog. And there will be mosquitoes.

MidSummer Reboot

Well, as any gardener knows, things don't always grow as planned. My squash are rotting. No beans. My tarragon is four feet high. The lettuce is ready to eat and covered in slugs. I think I will be buying tomatoes this summer. But the sun is shining. And we have blueberries.

Riley is ready to go for his walk. I'm tired. I was called into work yesterday when three people called out sick. Sunday is a slow day at the greenhouse (100 degrees inside) but it went by faster than usual. Then I did the week's groceries -- much simpler since I will be the only one home this week -- and did two loads of laundry, made dinner, ate dinner and then watched Miss Marple.

G got to spent most of Sunday in his favorite spot. The couch. "Reading" which translates to holding a book while sleeping. I'm not sure the dog enjoyed it as much as G did. They were both up early this morning (4:30) so G could be at work by 6.

--I haven't even begun to read the three books I have on the table.
--I have been able to write a page each day in my journal and paste some sort of evocative picture on the left facing page.
--I have been eating fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water
-- I want to fill the recycle container for the third week in a row with stuff from the attic. It's a 30 gallon garbage can
--and I want to fill an equal sized black garbage bag with non-recycle things from the attic.
--still haven't found the cute white metal table I bought last year at the greenhouse garage sale
--bought practically dead impatiens for the shed window boxes
--bought a charming off white, decorative use only, vase at this year's greenhouse garage sale and will be scouting the flowers in the attic (silk) for something charming to go inside. I have nothing outside but Japanese beetles.
--I think it's time to have a hand sewing job in my hands whenever I run out of things to do so I can stop eating hummus and carrot sticks.
--I need a list of things to do, to check off as they get done

I wish I knew how to make that line bloggers put over words they have written that no longer apply. Then I could cross things off this list I have just made. But who really cares?

I think that's the real "reboot" needed midsummer. Caring. It gets so hot and we get so tired that we just, simply, do not care. And now that I am using fragrance free laundry detergent--not even clean laundry perks me up. Clean has no smell. I would have thought clean had a smell. So many fragrances in the world and "clean" isn't one of them, even though products all mention having that "clean fragrance". I miss original scent Tide. That smelled "clean" to me.

-- walk the dog

On Second Thought

I was rather disappointed by yesterday's post. It seemed flat and boring. I erased it twice and probably should have just gone to watch television instead of posting. But, this is sometimes my only contact with people all day. Not that I chose to be reclusive yesterday. I had a pleasant luncheon date and met lots of friends at the library and in the parking lot. Perhaps that is the reason for the melancholy? Seeing and speaking to so many, made me sad to be suddenly alone, later in the day? Or perhaps, I was missing that easy conversation I had become used to while working at the library, seeing so many people pass by each day.

I might just be adjusting to a lessening of public contact now that I am working so few hours. I think that's why the non-happening Art Club this week was such a sharp disappointment. I needed some people around me.

G has a day off today. He has already been to the doctor and now he and Riley are out walking in the woods. When he gets home he will try and mow the grass before we have a shower. No sun today, yet. Just clouds.

I'm drinking my second cup of coffee, still in my pajamas at 11 am. I watched an episode of West Wing this morning (the local NBC station is showing two episodes every day at 8 and 9 in the morning). They have added the whiny voiced actress from CSI Miami to the cast. A nod to Ann Coulter? The Republican Pit Bull. With lipstick.

The real estate agent's secretary just called to notify me of another showing this afternoon. That makes two this week. Perhaps prayer is working. I need to be more positive in my thoughts going out in the Universe. I asked for someone nice to buy the house. Perhaps I need to be less specific.

I'm going to make cheesecake brownies today. For G to eat over the next few days. They are having the annual Clam Festival in the town where his McD's is located. If it rains he will be very busy. Overwhelmed. If the sun shines, no worries. I think cheesecake brownies will help don't you?

I have been reading blogs about Facebook and Twitter. And seeing the television shows falling all over themselves to add both to the NEWS. What crap. I don't see the evening news as an interactive concept. It's hard enough paying attention to what is being reported with that little stream of words running at the bottom of the screen. And the alerts. Now I get to read text messages from people driving their cars on highways. Enough.

Every person I see now days is talking on a device held to their ear. Talking about nothing. And the ones with ear pieces-- well, they look like psych cases talking to themselves. When I traveled to Ohio and was in airports, well, let me tell you, I thought I had traveled to a huge mental ward. Everyone talking to no one. "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm at the airport" "Just walking to the gate." They even talk on the phones in the bathrooms. What is so important that it must be discussed while peeing? Perhaps the stalls that are quiet have people texting to Twitter. While they pee. These are women. Men, I think, need one hand to pee? But I guess you can text with one hand?

I do not have a cell phone. I do not text. I do not Twitter. I don't care to contact people I knew in the past 60 years on Facebook. I don't see Facebook and Twitter as "public relation tools" for artists trying to sell and publicize their work. I am probably wrong. I will never know though. My blog isn't open to either. Neither is my bathroom.

CLOSED

Not so good thing: My (our) favorite restaurant has closed it's doors to dining room customers. They now are only doing catering. I was shocked and saddened to see the little blurb in the local paper early this week. G and I haven't been having many mutual days off, so we haven't been having lunch together very often this month (this summer). We both have tomorrow off. Sigh!

Very excellent good thing: We have now had SEVEN days of mostly sunshine. Now the temps haven't gotten above 77 degrees (unless you work in a greenhouse and then they have gone close to 90 or 100 degrees) but that sun is SHINING. And it's WARM. And I am loving it!

Amazing thing: A miracle, even. A check from the bastards at the annuity. Yes. A check. And I called them to make sure they meant to send it, that I can cash it, and it's not a "trick". It's good.

I ate too much today but all the food was so delicious and I was so hungry. Eggplant Parm for lunch with whole wheat penne. And I did a perfect job of seasoning and sauteeing the pork steaks for dinner tonight. Great baked potatoes and steamed green beans.

Tomorrow I will go look at the planters at the local McD's to see what I need to do to make them look good. And I'll weed a bit in my veggie garden. And sit in the sun. Could go for a record tomorrow and have EIGHT days of sun. In a row. Wow!

No Art Club. The doors to the building where we meet were locked again and this time we didn't get anyone to let us in. I was so READY to enjoy Art Club. So I was really bummed.

CLOSED. It seems that my world is closing down on me lately. No summer plans. No social calendar. Not much work (paid). No favorite restaurant. No walking buddy ( baby grandson taking all her time). No zucchini to make into pickles.

OPEN: A great lunch date with a book reading friend. A hug from a library patron who hasn't seen me lately. A visit from my daughter (nice tan). Husband going away on trip for a week. I can eat chard for dinner with brown rice and beets. Iced Coffee. West Wing repeats as my summer viewing pick. I never watched when it was new. What year did it begin? The two episodes I watched this morning were from 2000.

So more Open things than Closed. That's good. Staying positive.

Second, Full Day of Sunshine

I was so hot at work today. That greenhouse heats up! And I was sweeping the floor and watering plants and before you know it--lunchtime.

People are coming in to get plants that don't die when sitting in water. Plants that don't mind 21 days of no sun and lots of rain. Sorry. The key word here folks is DRAINAGE. A simple enough concept.

I'm tired, a bit cranky and hungry. I woke up at 7:05 and had to be on the road to work by 7:30. And the dog hadn't done any business or eaten his breakfast. Plus, G hadn't made any coffee so I had to roll into the McD's on the way to work and BUY coffee. I did manage to get it all done in 25 minutes. Wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, take dog out, feed dog, make my yogurt lunch, eat my cereal, find car keys, pack my work bag, pack dog's lunch, find $2 for coffee. It's better when I have 45 minutes.

Yesterday, the first day of Big Brother. It's something to watch in July and August. Lowest common denominator; with emphasis on "common". Like trashy. And now I don't have to watch any of the rest of the programs (three times a week) because they brought back Jesse. And it was hard enough to watch him the first time he was on this show. Jesse. Here is a guy who thinks he is the center of the universe and hasn't had an intelligent thought in all his 2o something years. And he looks for each and every one of the 50 some cameras. Jesse is always posing. They asked what he had been doing since being on the show and he says "I gained 10 pounds of muscle and my arms are now 17 inches". Who is president, Jesse? Huh?

I will not watch. UGH!

So I guess I won't be watching television and I WILL be reading more books. I have three waiting for me right now.

I have hollyhocks growing taller each day out in front of the kitchen bay window, little lettuces getting bigger, cucumber plants climbing the trellis, baby squash and fava beans. And I haven't had to water anything. The raised beds are draining nicely so no puddles. Raspberries and blueberries coming along. One peach left on my baby peach tree. (all the others fell off). It may be time to wrap my celery in paper to blanch the stalks like they do in the supermarket. And the garlic and onions are looking good. The chard is huge and I wish I had planted the rainbow variety. I have plain green. Finally got the replacement peppers and the tomatoes I grew from seed into the ground. Eggplant needs more sun and heat.

But, at least things are still healthy and growing, even if it is slow going.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to get the Fit inspected so I can have a valid sticker in case the police decide to stop me. And I am changing the insurance on the BMW to "garaged" or "stored". We won't be driving it. Well, we haven't been driving it since October. But now it's for sure it won't be on the road in 2009. And probably 2010. We have four vehicles. Ridiculous.

Gary volunteered me for a "job" refurbishing the indoor planters at a local McD's. I don't like to go to that McD's because we once owned it, it's on a busy street with problems getting out into traffic and the chances of me doing what they want aren't real good. Rats.

Time to cook dinner.

Sunshine is Back

Yes, there is no rain falling from the skies over Maine today. I have just come in from sitting on the porch in the sunshine, working on my tan. Riley was working his way around the yard--rolling in the grass. I think the temps are in the 70's.

Yesterday, G & I devoted ourselves (in the pouring, cold rain) to getting the Ohio car titled in Maine. I have new license plates, excise tax stickers but no inspection tag yet. So the Ohio plates are still on the car. I meant to Google to find a place here in town that will inspect my car before writing this post.

The bastards at the "Annuity" wrote me a letter saying I needed to return $24,000 to them because "someone" took a check for that amount AFTER my dad died in September of 2007. I very calmly explained that in September of 2007, my dad was ALIVE and perfectly able to take the interest money out of his OWN annuity. They checked. Wow! He WAS ALIVE. Am I getting the money? Nope. I'm to expect a "letter" in two or three weeks. My dad and his attorney were never able to get money out of these bastards. I don't expect to get any out of them without a lawsuit of my own. And these BANK BASTARDS got my dad to put the money in the annuity in a CLASSIC case of Elder Fraud. He didn't understand what he was buying. They just told him to "sign here" for 6% interest on his bank accounts. Next thing he knew the bank accounts were empty and he was the "proud" owner of an annuity that made it's FIRST payout in ten years. My dad was 84 and in poor health. My dad spent the last two years of his life depressed, fearful and angry. Trying to get his hard earned money back.

Okay, enough of that. I refuse to go down the same road my dad followed.

I picked up books from the library today. Two for G and two for me. Whenever I order books on line, they come in bunches. Usually more than we can read in three weeks. But there's nothing to watch on television this summer, so we are reading.

I made a wonderful iced coffee to drink while sitting in the sun and wish there was more cold coffee to make another. I could drive out and buy one. Or just have some cold water. I ate a really big lunch of 6 boneless BBQ wings, celery, carrots and hummus. But I'm thirsty now. I think I'll make something to drink, put on a load of laundry and go sit in the cool living room and read. I work tomorrow. I should enjoy today as much as possible.

We had another cat bunking down in our garage last night. Methinks my husband is forgetting to close the garage door. He denies it. So the cats must be teleporting through the doors into the garage. I think I should give one of those grocery papers a call.