Five Weeks

That's how many weeks till Christmas for all of us.  And it's how many weeks until my Pajama Sabbatical from work.  Guess which one I am counting down to?  It is being made especially tense because G will be retiring on the same day I stop working.  We have Medicare to get settled and try and figure out how we are going to pay for stuff.  Big stuff always happens around the holidays it seems.  Makes it all so tense.  Less joyful. 

The image on top of the screen is my "in progress" Doodle which I began at the last Art Club meeting. I had made a few in years past and included newspaper text (the legal classifieds) as another texture in the Doodles.  I liked it and think I may do the same in this one.  In the larger areas.  Most of the Doodles I watched on YouTube used floral images.  I think that is too feminine.  For me.

My plan for today is to finish the laundry, iron the shirts resulting from that laundry, go to the bank to deposit four paychecks and my 10x10 check and READ.  I have an idea for making Piccadillo with ground beef, tomatoes, green olives, almonds, raisins and spices if I can find the recipe I used and loved in the 1980's.  G doesn't like it so I will be the only one eating it.  Sounds like a good work lunch.  Now that it's cold, a good warming lunch is nice.  And I could also eat it after work for dinner.

The greenhouse is now filled with Christmas.  Poinsettias.  Cyclamen.  Norfolk pines.  Christmas cactus in very unChristmas colors like salmon, white and yellow.  We even have supplies for Fairy Houses.  Watering is time consuming.  Balsam greens are being used to make the Holiday boxes and wreaths over on the Christmas table in the back of the greenhouse.  So the smell of balsam is a lovely background for my work days.  Balsam needles in my clothes--not so special.

Our Open House was well received.  We were actually busy.  The Christmas Trees aren't here yet and that will make the days more interesting.  We'll have more "boys" working the tree yard.  And our annual Secret Santa is always fun.  I think a nice potluck lunch once a week would be nice.  Nothing big and not all of us cooking every week, but a day set aside to bring in something to share.  Or not.  I have to order my "tall, fat, wild" tree.  A large bottomed tree.  Like me.

Fat People Are Like Snowflakes

All different.  I have been asked to just "be happy" with myself as I am and not to focus on my goal weight or the size of my clothing.  I have read an article on a dieter who, after many struggles and the loss of 100's of pounds, is still OBESE.  My weight falls in the "High Overweight" BMI range.

The BMI chart.  I lost 80 pounds in 2007.  I went from obese to overweight.  I would have had to lose another 20 pounds to get to the high end of Normal.  I looked like a dead woman walking at minus 80. No one wanted me to continue.  And I was unhappy and angry.

Guess what?  Losing the weight hadn't magically made me any happier.  I started eating as I had always eaten and, because I eat a good healthy diet, it took three and a half years for me to pile on 40 pounds. It has now taken 18 months for me to lose half of that.  I am guessing as I don't have a scale.  It has been many, many months since I experienced any weight loss.  I am maintaining which is a VERY GOOD THING in weight loss.

I am writing about this since the reasons for the weight loss, weight gain and maintenance is all a great big problem in this country.  Something is wrong.  With humans.  With the food we eat.  With the manufacturers of clothing.  With the images we see of ourselves and others in media.

We are making ourselves sick.  Or crazy.

IF I ate the very same foods (I have my food diary from all of 2007) today and for the next months, I would probably gain weight.  Not lose weight.  Crazy, isn't it?  I know it is.  I HAVE tried it.

I try, all the time, to seek a more normal way of eating.  And by normal, I mean eating things that everyone else eats.  Simple things like oatmeal, bananas, apples, butternut squash or white potatoes. Yes, those are the simple things I try adding to my food list.   Not pizza or loaves of bread, donuts or cookies. Never pasta.

 I have had oatmeal for breakfast for as many days as it takes to empty the large box of Quaker oats.  The waistband on my pants is snugger.  I am not as comfortable wearing the pants I have worn for months.  Nothing else in my diet has changed.  Just oatmeal.  I will not be buying another box.  I will give up on thinking I can eat oatmeal for breakfast like I did everyday in all of 2007 and lost 1 to 2 pounds a week.  Like clockwork.

This morning I had baked squash for breakfast.  With butter and cinnamon.  We'll see.

An Embarrassment Of Riches

Books.  And more Books.   I ordered the newest of the new, expecting a long wait, as usual, but everyday the e-mail lets me know another book has arrived.  I have to take some back (unread) to make room for others.  I can always order the returned books, again, later.  I have waited over 18 months for Phantom by Jo Nesbo.  That one stays here.  It's like choosing your favorite child.

Work, yesterday was very good.  The wreaths have arrived and we added bows and pinecones.  I must have over ordered the houseplants and I have five trays to unpack and set out today unless a co worker has already done it.  Open House tomorrow and Sunday.

G and I went to the afternoon showing of Skyfall yesterday after I got home from work.  It was good.  Not great.  Too long.  And Bond looked ill.  Thin, haggard and listless.  Perhaps Daniel Craig isn't feeling the love for Bond anymore???  He did all the fights and stunts but it seemed more like he was just putting up with it all and not enjoying any of it.  "When it crumbles, when it falls"

After the movie we went to Ruby Tuesday to use our coupon.  The food was okay.  Service was okay. Food presentation on the plate was terrible and sloppy as usual.  And portions were skimpy as usual.  I think the only reason anyone still goes there to eat is the coupon.  We have two more coupons and I really don't see us using them.  A new Panerra is being built next door.  The hole is being dug right now.  The Town wanted an Olive Garden.  As we drove thru Town we looked into the windows of the restaurants we passed.  Lots and lots of empty tables.  And, of course, the number of closed for good restaurants, increases as the winter closes in.  They never save summer tourist cash for the winter months.  It has nothing to do with the economy and more to do with the lack of budgeting skills.

Economic Caboose

Maine gets everything last.  This includes Recessions.  The Great Recession has finally reached Maine. We haven't felt the pain that the other states have, until recently.  At Art Club last evening we listed the businesses that have recently decided to close, get smaller or just fold up and disappear.  The remaining businesses, like the ones where G and I work, are suffering a lack of customers and sales.  Our employers are having to choose; fewer employees or less hours per employee.  Either choice creates unhappiness.  Nothing new here for Readers from Away.  (anywhere that is not Maine is Away)

Our candles got another workout last night.  15 minutes before Art Club would have shut down on it's own, the power went out.  Pitch black.  We used iPhones to collect supplies and venture out into the parking lot.  Power stayed out at my house until nearly 9:30.  CMP said they were going to knock the power out to repair a burned line--15 to 30 minutes tops.  Better now than during a snow storm. G and decided to spend $700 to get a designated power box for the generator.  So we could plug it into the house grid from outside the house and run the furnace and, after we got warm, the fridge and the television and a few lights.  Not all at the same time.  We may try and get information on solar panels for the roof.  Heat the house that way or heat something.  We have a large south facing roof with a high pitch.  The south side rooms are always warm, even in deepest winter, if the sun is shining.  These are things we discuss when the power is out.  Also, we need to restock the candle supply @ Target.

I was approached at work (today) by a member of a local (100 year old) Town organization known for it's gardening.  To speak to the group in April at their annual meeting.  Wow.  I am already speaking at a February Garden Club meeting.  Getting nervous about all this "new" stuff.  The classes I teach at work have led to these opportunities.  In fact, so many things are appearing due to the work classes and the 10x10 fund raiser.  It's rather amazing. And Art Club is a wonderful experience.  I did a Zentangle type doodle while we all chatted and worked on transferred images, driftwood sculptures or decoupage.

Work went well today.  I repotted my lavender plants for the winter in the house.  One of the plants could possibly have remained outdoors as it is a Zone 4.  Next year I may leave it outside.  I purchased ornament hooks for the Christmas tree.  I had been using bent paperclips for the past few years.  These look nice.  Professional.  100.  Should be enough.

The French Onion soup was fantastic.  We even had it served up in little brown and white crocks and I browned the cheese topping in the oven with the broiler.  20 years in this house with this oven and never before used the broiler.  It worked perfectly.  I was shocked.  So much room for new experiences here in my little world.  I think it all started when I bought that new microfiber underwear (in colors). LOL.

Houseplant Adoption Agency + Edit

My new profession.  Drop off the houseplant or even the overgrown annual you can't bear to dispose of, and I will find a new home for it.  Or hope to find a new home.  Yesterday a large jade plant that had spent the summer with me in the greenhouse at work, was finally relocated to a new owner.  It involved "therapeutic" phone calls to the "owner" and then a handover to the new owner a few days later.   The photo at the top is of some sort of begonia I think--rooting in water.  Looking for a home. The shelf above has a large 60 year old coleus specimen which was shoved into my arms by it's owner.   I refused the second huge pot.  One was MORE than enough.  The owner of the coleus (given to her by her fifth grade teacher), had been kept alive all these years by taking cuttings and starting new plants each spring. Now I am expected to take cuttings and keep the coleus alive for another 60 years.  Actually, what she wanted was for me to propagate it for sale in the annual house in 2013 and beyond.

I wish that I worked in that sort of greenhouse.  I don't.  Propagation is discouraged.

A customer (president of my old quilting group) came by yesterday to let me know that a day time quilting group meets at the Baptist church (one town over) from 1 to 3 each Monday afternoon.  I cannot define the amount of anxiety and confusion this little piece of information has caused.  I know I am trying to be open to new things, but this new thing has too many variables to feel safe, the first being the Baptist church.  Equal only to the first quilt group meeting I attended at the Elks Social Club.  I returned home with nicotine embedded in every fiber of my clothing and the quilt I was working on, but at least I had been invited and was expected.  I have not been invited to the Baptist church nor am I expected at the Monday group.   Walking in "COLD" and introducing myself feels awkward.

It's supposed to be warmer and wetter today.  G dug up the two large lavender plants and I need to repot them for the winter in the house.  The citrus is looking good out on the unheated sunporch.  So far.  Riley has misplaced his flea and tick collar.  My library books will be overdue tomorrow so I have to choose what books to renew and keep.  I have enough onions to make onion soup for dinner (and I found a good recipe which includes all the stuff I have in the cupboard).  Riley is asleep next to my chair with his paw alongside my foot--he can sleep knowing any movement on my part will alert him so he won't miss out on any activity.  Riley will be six in April.  He is slowing down. Sleeping more.  Observing rather than chasing any (all) animals trespassing our (his) yard.  He has a stronger dog odor.  Less of the sweet puppy smell.  I see a comparison to my own aging in his.  I just hope I don't smell.

Edit:  I was going to mention the onion soup--but I had already done so.  I also made four servings of SF raspberry jello.  The box says 8 but I think four is better.  I like to have a dessert available in case I need sweetening in the evening.  I also looked online for a SF cranberry sauce recipe.  None of the recipes make the smooth jellied version.  Only the chunky one.  I happen to ADORE the canned stuff.  Anyone know how to make a "homemade" version of the canned stuff?

Finally, Friday

It's been quite a week.  The excitement of the election.  Then the aftermath of really funny stuff (Karl Rove) and some not so wonderful stuff (politics as usual from the House Speaker).

I had another busy day at work until 3.30 and then it got really quiet and not much happened after that-- well, I had a repeat customer with a dead lavender plant.  This is the third time we have tried to save a lavender plant for this guy's "sweetheart".  I'm wondering if she really likes the plants?  One never knows.  Perhaps the "sweetheart" is imaginary?   These are the kinds of things I think about on slow days at work.

There was a customer yesterday that dragged a large pot and the plant I had in it out of my front table display (she was buying them).  In doing the dragging she also knocked over three wire deer, leaving them in a pile of legs and bodies with little concern.  I know it is good to have customers like the display so much that they want to buy it, BUT she ruined it and I had to rethink and rebuild.  It's never as good the second time.  And it's the front table.  Other than that--the greenhouse is looking very nice. Ready for a busy weekend, I hope.  I hope everything is gone by Sunday when I come to work.

Tomorrow is my day off.  Pretty excited about it.  I have hardly any household chores other than paying the bills.  The dog will want a walk.  I should dig my own lavender plants out of the garden (unless it's too late and they froze to death).   I have books to read and a 12x20 to work on.  The only fly in this happy Saturday is making something for dinner.  It was so much easier when I ate pasta.

There was something I had wanted to tell you but I can't seem to remember what it was.  Oh, yes.  Only 854 more pages and this blog will hit 100,000 pages read.  Pretty excited.

Much Ado About Nothing At All

More white kitchens.  I love the idea of not having any of the "edges" to keep clean.  Just sweep it all into the sink.  And the faucet in the wall might be hard to keep clean.  Have I shown you this before???

Today, I woke to snow and wet and cold wind.  I had to be at work early to unlock the doors etc.  We broke another key in the front door lock (not me!!).  The loaders carried in four more tables for the greenhouse (to replace the open space where we held classes) and I had to "fill" them with interesting displays of plants.  Kept me busy all day.  And it rained.  Could weather be more miserable????  I tried not to complain as New Jersey and New York were getting the same.  Wicked shame!  To lose power again?  Not fair.

I never made the Alice Springs chicken.  G wanted to go out to eat tonight, so I put the chicken into freezer bags for another day and we went out to eat--and he ordered chicken.

I have tons of onions--why not make onion soup?  Ironed all G's work shirts. Was actually dressed appropriate for the weather today.  Two thermal shirts, down jacket and fleece vest.  Gloves.  Watched the John Stewart show regarding Karl Rove on a coworker's iPhone at lunch.  Very, very funny.  My neighbor flew home from Florida tonight (where she went to vote) and they still don't have a count.   Not funny.  Let's just vote to have Florida be a non-voting state.

Late To The Party-- Remember to Vote

The winter squash party.  I think this is the Kabocha squash I have been hearing so much about.  I finally bought one--no make that two-- and baked it along side the pulled pork already in the oven.  It is dense and starchy as described.  The skin is edible but probably better when steamed and not baked.  These squash are from a local farmer.  So, Maine squash.  I saved seeds.  For my 2013 garden.

Today we vote.  Please vote.  This election process, due to the Super PACS, has been relentlessly ugly, mean and tiresome.  I, for one, am sick to death of it all.  The 47% (of which I am a member since I got a tax refund last year and plan to collect and use my Medicare and Social Security benefits) need to bundle up warm, stand in the long lines devised to keep us from voting, and VOTE.

Why?  My stocks are up.  My house value is rising.  I have a job and can get another.  I am employable even at 66. No insurance company can deny me coverage.  Obama has been a good President for me. He may have even had a chance at great but the Republicans vowed to make him a one term president in 2010 and have done everything they could to obstruct any plans Obama may have had for the last two years.  I just wish the 99% had still been protesting.  I wish they had had a cohesive mission statement.  I wish they had not given up.

 The people who can't find a job need to learn better job skills, get dependable transportation to work and have stable child care options.  A good meal three times a day would also help everyone as would a good sturdy roof over their heads at night and running water.  It's what we all need.  Want.  Hard to be a good employee, husband, wife or parent when so many things so difficult.  Employers discovered they could do the same amount of work with fewer workers during the Great Recession of 2008-9.  Why hire them back? Indeed. Why.  These workers now must learn new skills in order to get new jobs.  The old jobs are gone.  Never to return. Wage earners learned to make do with less in 2008-9 and now won't go back to their free spending ways.  Indeed, why should they?

The economy, the jobs, the skills have all changed in this past four years.  What worked before, does not work now.  We all need to wake up and "smell the coffee" as Ann Landers says.  Are you better off than you were in the Bush years?  I am.

And best of all---- Pretty soon we won't be at war with anyone and our soldiers will be coming home.  War is good for Republican business.  Just ask Cheney.  I'm tired of war.

Now What Was It I Was Trying To Say?

It may be time to turn the furnace on.  I have had to reheat my cup of breakfast coffee twice (three) times so far and it is still cold when I go to sip some.  Now, the real problem could be a 26 year old microwave.  The appliances here at #12 are getting old.  As are the residents.

I had to figure out how to open the battery space in the Bluetooth touch pad before breakfast.  I know how to change the batteries in the wireless Mouse.  Still not sure about the keyboard.  G has got me supplied with an entire drawer full of batteries (for the storm) but they should keep things rolling in the computer for the winter.  My lifeline to the world.

I have begun wearing socks and slippers to keep my ice cold feet slightly warmer.  I enjoy wearing my thermal long sleeve tees to work under the company tee shirt.  I am looking forward to wearing my Santa flannel pj's.  Remember I purchased them just before Christmas last year.  Now I can wear them for a full 2 months.  A trip to Target this afternoon for toilet paper and thermal shirts (on sale this week) would be fun.  Perhaps they are selling the Skinny Peppermint Mocha?   Now you know how simple it is to keep me happy.

I will be putting a 6 pound pork roast (purchased on sale) in the oven soon.  Using the pulled pork recipe from Martha Stewart.  And I need to stop at the grocery for more cans of sauerkraut and a bag of onions to make my favorite pulled pork side dish.  Chicken is on sale and I discovered the Outback Alice Springs Chicken recipe and need to buy a large package of chicken, bacon, mushrooms and cheese for that dish which should be good for lunches at work.  I am back on track for buying and using whatever meat my grocery has on "special" each week.  I am not going so far as to stock the freezer with meat.  That doesn't work for me.  Last week's 6 pound pot roast was amazingly delicious.

I seem to be caught up on housekeeping here at home.  After my few errands I can perhaps do some reading.  Iron the half dozen shirts I have washed.  Sort my socks.  Work on making a Zentangle Doodle in my pen and paper journal.  Last month's desk top calendar page was well scribbled with sample designs I got off the internet.  Watching YouTube videos.  This is the sort of thing I save for winter entertainment.  I also brought home supplies to make two hand tied wreaths.  One for the front door and one to have handy as a gift, should I need one.  I could also make a Kissing Ball.

I'm off to the the attic in search of some lighted trees that a co worker might want to use.

Winter Citrus Season (A Do Over)

Is just beginning.  The tiny clementines are spicy and delicious but the red grapefruit hasn't hit the right degree of  sweet juicy-ness.  I bought a bag--hoping for that wonderful taste, but alas, not quite ready.  And so tiny.  I was going to just peel one and eat it, thinking I would get more of the juicy flesh that way.  But after getting the peel off, I slipped my peeling knife under the center edge of one segment and managed to release the juicy flesh without any pith using my finger tips.  I ate that grapefruit and decided to peel and segment a few more to have with tomorrow's lunch of yogurt.  I have a full tub of segments in the fridge.  It took about an hour.  I may go back to it and finish off the remaining two grapefruit.   I may even look for the recipe my daughter found for me for a red grapefruit cheesecake filling.

I am "one of those people" who don't mind how long a task takes or how labor intensive it is, IF the end result is something I will enjoy.  Needle turn appliqué?  Yes.  Hand mending of holes and tears? Yes.  And now segmenting grapefruit.  And not the way they do in culinary school which results in mess and a pile of juices.  My way resulted in just segments.  I had to check the clock to see how long it took. Very restful.  The mind can wander while the hands are at work.  Which is why the original Winter Citrus post was deleted and this one is being read by you.

I watched the second season of Luther on BBC America last night.  Sad that it is now over even though it was quite violent.  But I didn't delete them so can watch again (and enjoy) in the dead of winter.  The Hour returns to BBCA on G's birthday later this month.  Until then I have Elementary and Masterpiece Theater.  G has Revolution and Vegas.  I am also working my way through episodes of Big Bang the way I did through That 70's Show.  G is annoyed when I watch them.

I actually wish I could be watching West Wing from the beginning.

I have books to read (Louise Penny's Still Life) and the PD James Jane Austen mystery.  I finally got my check for the 10x10 Carrots and the name of the person who bought it.  The name sounds familiar.  Like I should know this person.  It may come to me.  While I peel the other two grapefruit?

I am at a point in life where I wish I had a "group" to be a member of.  To visit with.  Talk with on the phone (even though I hate that) and do things with.  I feel very isolated and alone.  Art Club meets next Tuesday so that will help.  I am reaching out as best I can.  Most of my personal conversations are with customers at work.  Or coworkers.  A work benefit I value.  A Lot.

I also have you to talk to, but it's a one way conversation.  Like talking to myself.  Only it's okay and I'm not actually talking out loud.  Though, while making holiday boxes yesterday at work, I was talking out loud.  To no one.  It's sad being all alone in that large greenhouse in the winter, filling boxes with balsam branches.  And starting tomorrow it will be darker down there while I am working alone.  I need to find my flashlight or the Bug Lite my friend in Florida gave me.  Or buy a head lamp.  The walk to my car is pitch black at 6 pm.

So Sad

I had a whole porch full of tiny trick or treaters and had to tell them I had NO CANDY for them.  I guess parents today don't know that you only go to homes with porch lights on.  Mine was off.  And the kids were walking to my house in the dark.  Sigh.  Riley went crazy barking.  Probably scared the little ones.

A quiet day at work.  Flowers for a weekend wedding filled a large Suburban.  What a riot of red and white roses and gorgeous lilies.  A coworker's mom lost her battle in the hospital last night.  We are all saddened by her loss.  A wedding and now a funeral.  Life is such a blend of happy and sad.  The news from New Jersey and New York is also happy and sad.  So few have died.  So many have lost everything BUT their life.  Your home is your safe haven.  I watch and remember the pictures from Japan.

Tomorrow.  Will be a better day.

Happy Halloween

Here it is the end of October.  Why is time flying so quickly now?  Time to go to the library and get the Spooky House.

It's not snowing this year.  We had a huge storm last Halloween.  This year, even at 11 pm, it feels quite tropical outside.  Last night the clouds were moving fast over the full moon's face.  The wind was soft and warm.  Then a few minutes later, rain was pouring down, beating on the windows.  Then quiet. This "hurricane" is still flexing it's muscles.  Luckily, Maine is getting the tropical side of things.

Hope you get "treats" today and no "tricks".   I'm off to work.

It's All Over-- Stormwise

We had a very brief period without power, I think it might have been 45 minutes to an hour, and then there was flickering and the power came back on.  Got to watch the very end of DWTS.  The house is so well insulated that we could barely here the wind.  I did hear the gusting rain though.

Now everything is wet.  Nearly all the leaves are off the oaks.  No branches on the lawn.  The garbage men are here at the regular time picking up.  Everything is normal.  Doggie day is open so I will go to work and Riley will go there.  Maine was very lucky, again.  Not everyone can say that.

Storm Has Arrived--19:35

Winds are blowing.  Rain is falling.  I'm going to take a shower while there's hot water.  This is supposed to be over in a few hours as the storm makes landfall.

The pot roast was sublime.  I just wish I had time and excess calories available to make the flourless chocolate cake Diane N suggested.  Perhaps tomorrow.

Future Master Bathroom

As you can see, I am interested in the "spare/bare" look of future decorating around here.  I am not actually going to get these shallow sinks.  A friend has them and water splashes everywhere and you can't wash cashmere sweaters in the sink.  Something I do often.

Riley and I are well fed and waiting for the storm to begin.  We are having drizzle.  Very light breezes. I saw on the news an hour ago that Pennsylvania is already having high winds.  Which makes me wonder if the local stations are just trying to be "included" in the Big Storm as a way to gather viewers? High tide is now.  Well, the first one.  Second one is at 11 pm tonight.  We are prepared for the worst.

I have a lovely 6 pound chuck roast in the oven, not the crock pot.  My grocery had them on sale for $2.99 a pound.  I have a cabbage to cut into cole slaw and potatoes to boil and mash for tonight's dinner.  Plenty for leftovers by candlelight if the power goes off tomorrow.  Whether I go to work tomorrow depends on doggie day care being open or not.  The sun seems to be trying to shine.  The last of the oak leaves are fluttering gently, but not much.

I'm still in my pajamas.  Since I did the necessary grocery shopping last night after work, the only reason to go out is to pick up G's library book.  I could just suggest he stop and get it on his way home from work.  Breakfast was bacon, eggs and red grapefruit.  I am having my second cup of coffee.  The last load of laundry is in the dryer.  I think I will change the bed sheets and get them into the washer.

What I want to do is travel down to the workroom and play with fabric for an hour or two.  Perhaps even paint some fabric.  I watched QA on PBS and saw Marsha Derse printing and painting fabric (in much the same way I do, except I don't use dyes or resists).  Now I want some silk screen inks.  I have the dye and resists if I seriously want to start down that path.  I am just sort of "afraid" of the dyes.

I am trying to find a very simple flour less chocolate cake recipe to make for myself.  One of the high school students had a small portion of the cake she made at school to share with me.  She is just not sure the recipe she wrote out for me is correct.  Eight ingredients.  We have eight items in the recipe  but L thinks there was melted chocolate AND cocoa.  If we add the cocoa then we have nine items. So I have to either find a recipe that matches on the internet or wait until I see her again at work.  Perhaps next Friday.  Her little sample was delicious.

So, I am sending G and email to pick up his book.  I am changing the bed sheets.  I am going down to the workroom and see what I can find to do.  A very lazy day.

Wood Trim

I have winter plans for what is now the "workspace" and will soon be the guest bedroom.  Again.  The more I change things the more I go back to the beginning.  I tore down half the "quaint" wallpaper when the new window went in last summer (not this summer) but never moved past that to removing the design board or the other half of the wallpaper.

I like the idea of the boards on the wall.  I plan to use the bunk beds I slept in when I was a small child.  I slept on the top bunk (at 4 or 5 years) and my younger brother the bottom bunk.  Our youngest brother had the crib across the narrow walking space between the beds.  So much for separate rooms in 1950.  Falling out of bed could have been fatal.  That's why I was given the top bunk.  Even then I knew I wasn't wanted. But I managed to get the beds.  I had always planned to refinish them in their natural maple hue.  Now that graphite bench is suggesting a different stain.

I managed to sleep late today.  My day off.  I had cucumber salad for breakfast and oatmeal for lunch. I Googled a winter Israeli salad of cabbage, carrots, raw beet and radishes to replace my summer love--the tomatoes and mozzarella as well as the cucumbers in sour cream and dill weed.  I find I prefer a cold breakfast of low carb vegetables.  Isn't it interesting to discover new things about yourself?  Even when you thought there was nothing new to discover?

I washed some of Riley's dog toys and his bed covers today while he was outside paroling the the yard, keeping us safe from CATS.  Then I ironed 13 shirts.  Or more.  Then I used the new vacuum to clean the whole house.  It was a pain to find places to plug in the vacuum as it has a short cord.  Mostly I sat here in front of the computer.  Watched episode 4 or 5 of the new BBC cooking show with Nigella on YouTube and a favorite episode of the Little Paris Kitchen with Rachel Khoos (I hope Santa brings me the cookbook). Read blogs and news reports. Got depressed.  Made a list of things to do before Sandy arrives.  (I don't think Maine is getting more than 4 days of rain).  By then it was time for G to get home.  We had dinner and I sat at the table and paid all the bills.  Had just enough stamps.

My shopping list:  toilet paper and stamps.

PBS shows a repeat of Masterpiece on Saturday and I got to watch that as I went through the bills and balanced the checkbook.  A nice surprise.

Blue Sky Orange Leaves

A truly lovely combination.  I was standing in the Nursery yard yesterday, at work, waiting for my coworker to return to the inventory we were taking of the remaining trees and shrubs, and I looked up.  The entire sky from ground to ground was perfectly, solidly BLUE.  No pollution.  Not a single cloud. Heartbreakingly beautiful.  I wished it had been possible (without looking insane) to lay flat on the ground and just see the sky.

I am exhausted.  Working.  Then coming home to landscaping tasks.  Then housekeeping tasks (which never get the time and attention they need).  This morning, while washing and moisturizing my face I stopped to look.  I had glimpsed something "new".  Dark slivers of bruises under my eyes.  Wearing my trifocal glasses covers that section of my eyes usually.  I don't remember seeing the bruises last week.  But, I admit to being very tired.  Weary.  And the muscle on the outside of my elbow joint is still hurting, but only when I lift something that puts stress on the muscle.  Which I try not to do.  But I forget and then when I sit down to watch television the muscle lets me know I used it too much during the day.

Yesterday I sliced the top layer of weeds and grass off of about a square yard of the next landscaping bed that will be getting my attention.  I even managed (with G's help) to dig up a large clump of iris.  A few iris are nice.  A clump is not.  I have about 10 (or more) square yards to clear before I am done.  The "every five year" weeding process.  And, since it's five years since I started working full time--it has been that long since everything was properly weeded.

One major accomplishment that I am quite proud of at this moment in time--- every single plant I started, purchased or was given, is now in the ground.  The back deck is bare.  No pots. Never happened before.  The next major work is a large brush fire to clear things up in the back acre of the yard.  G and I have burned brush as the snow fell on us.  Still could happen.  The leaf pile has grown, diminished and then grown again.  I planted garlic ( I said I wouldn't).

I must pack my lunch and get Riley ready to go to day care.  It's Friday.  I have tomorrow off.

Never Ending Leaves

G rakes them up.  H drives them over here in his truck.  I spread them everywhere there is bare dirt.  And still the pile seems as high as it was before I started.  The nice part is that the leaf pile has just enough grass clippings mixed in and is still heating up.  Composting.  And the BEST stuff on Earth is leaf mold.  We even cleaned out my old set of compost bins and I started layering my kitchen debris with leaves there.  Easier than trying to get all the way to the back of the vegetable garden in the winter.

I have been struggling to get ahead of the weeds in my perennial and shrub beds for the past five years (since I started working full time) and this fall I am making a big effort to remove the weedy top five inches from one large bed and plant a few new shrubs and roses and then top the open soil with chopped leaf mulch.  I was pleased to uncover a large number of worms in this soil, which was the location of my first vegetable garden 20 years ago.  It was also where I tried to grow a large number of hybrid tea roses. Tried. Failed.  I did add a home made mixture (from Martha Stewart) of additives to the soil for those roses.  It seems to have made a significant difference to the soil over the years.

Finally, (finally), made an actual dinner last night.  Roast turkey breast, baked sweet potatoes, steamed green beans and a small portion of stuffing for G.  It was SO DELICIOUS.  We were so hungry for a real meal.  G has taken his last pill and feels much better.  Has color in his face.  His voice is still thready but getting stronger.  He returned to work yesterday and it was okay.  Counting down the days until he retires on December 23rd.  I signed us up for a Medicare seminar on November 1st. Hard to believe we are old enough for this.  I don't feel ready to retire.  I don't feel ready to be old.

My last class (at work) for 2012 went well.  I had a larger than expected turn out.  We are all decorated for Christmas at work and are just about ready to start making the Holiday Greens Boxes.  The mum population is declining and the count down to the Winter Open House is starting. Poinsettias.

 I have to REALLY switch from a cold yogurt lunch to a hot soup lunch.  I have my recipe for lentil soup right here by the computer.  I purchased a bag of lentils yesterday.  It's low fat and low calorie but not low carb which is why it fills you up.  I spent far too much time trying to find something to wear this morning--38 degrees at 8 am.  It takes a while to completely transition from warm weather work clothing to cold weather work clothing.  Some of the guys at work change into shorts before lunch.  I just take off my jacket, then my sweatshirt, roll up the sleeves on my thermal undershirt etc.  Then reverse as the afternoon gets chilly.

Getting my haircut this morning before work.  Riley wants to get going.  He missed day care last week because G was home on vacation and he wants to get back into his doggie routine.  Under my feet grumbling.  Still have to pack his lunch and put coffee in my thermos.

Someday I Will Have Windows

From the floor to the ceiling.  On the entire south side of the house.  When the chimney is gone.  When I win the Publisher's Clearing House millions.  Note: I may be too attractive and educated to ever win the Publisher's Clearing House having watched the winners being "surprised" with checks and balloons on television.  Do you think any of it is real?

Worked today.  I am exhausted from waking up at 6 am and being in the car by 7 for five days straight.  Today was 9.5 hours long at work.  And my class went well.  Closing up the garden for the winter.  That's my last class for 2012. I even got a compliment for the pot of regular coffee I made for the snack table.  Strong.

G wanted to go out to dinner.  I said yes, even though my body and mind just wanted a shower, pajamas and sleep.  We went to the Memphis BBQ spot.  G had to stop eating midway through his dinner.  We had the usual deep fried smoked ribs for an appetizer.  Not as greasy as you are imagining. Just "crispy" smoked ribs--a half order.  And G should have stopped there.  His pills are making him feel and look human again.  Which is a very good thing.

I had a margarita to celebrate the end of my week at work.  Lord, I'm tired.  Tomorrow I need to finish working in the root infested bed and then iron all the shirts piled on the end of the ironing board.  I hope it isn't raining tomorrow.  If it is; I am sitting on the couch watching all 15 recorded episodes of Big Bang.

My Life Is An Experience Words Cannot Convey

Pinning these images has opened a whole new way of life to me.  See it. Take it. Use it.   I was talking about this to two different people.  One an artist and one a consumer.  The artist found this taking and using of images to be distasteful.  The consumer sees it as a way to "be reminded" of the things and ideas she wants to purchase, make, or use.  I think the artist was thinking the same things.   The "taking" of ideas to "use, make use of and sell".  Nothing actually belongs to the owner anymore.

I've been wake a long time.  My brain woke my body up.  I have prep to do for my gardening class tomorrow and I needed to type up the pages so I can make copies at work today.  One on planting garlic, second on winter protection for roses and a third on building a cold frame in the garden--which reminds me that I need a fourth on a hoop frame for cold protection of winter spinach and lettuce crops.  Really what I need is a small mock up model of the hoop house.  Just like I regret tearing up the little 3 bin compost model I had.  Little demo models make things so much easier to explain.  A picture (or a model) is worth a thousand descriptive words.

I had eggs for breakfast yesterday and discovered I stayed fuller, longer with the oatmeal.  So, it's oatmeal for today's breakfast.

My son wrote me an email mentioning that he was beginning to get nervous regarding my posts on my lack of appetite (for the foods I am allowed to eat) and the constant weight chat.  Perhaps I have caused you, dear Readers, the same?  I am eating.  I am not losing weight.  I am healthy.  My hair and nails look good.  My teeth aren't wiggling around in my jaws.  I have been around a sick person for 3 weeks and still am not sick, myself.  I have noticed I stopped coughing when I stopped eating peanut butter.  Which makes me VERY SAD as PB was my go to snack.  I may have a peanut allergy.

Anyway.  No more diet talk.  Sorry about the oatmeal reference a few paragraphs up.  It will take me time and much use of the delete button to get this down.

I WILL be having more garden and art chat in future.  Right now, well, I began after work yesterday, I am digging out all the invasive sunflowerish weeds growing in the bed behind the garage.  I filled, to over flowing, the garden cart with stems, roots and weeds.  I still need to redig the bed to find all the roots and stems.  Each will regrow a plant if given half a chance.  This is AFTER moving and reorganizing all the perennials  at WORK for eventual shipment back to the big greenhouse far away.  I wasn't sad about doing all that lifting and sorting.  I was, at least, outside and it was warm and the sun was shining.  Rain today.  Miserable at work when it rains.

We have Christmas trees (decorated), ornaments and gifts all over the store right now.  We are getting ready to start making the winter holiday boxes.  No greens yet but the cashiers up front are winding wire around pinecones for box and wreath decorations.  And it's not even Halloween.  Customers are asking for Christmas cactus and Amaryllis bulbs already.  We have neither.  Yet.  I remember my intense anticipation, that first winter, for all things Christmas.  Now?  Not so excited.  It goes by so quickly.  Yes, it seems like everything went by too quickly this year.  Is it because I am getting older? Or are we just rushing around too much these days.

Seems so long ago that I had a counter top full of ripe red tomatoes and too many zucchini.  Now I am trying to figure out where to put all the houseplants and citrus trees that I had outside all summer.  I am still refusing to turn on the furnace even though it is only 60 in here.  Well. I need to find a hoop house fact sheet to use for class.

A Whole Wall Full of To Do Lists + An Earthquake

Right behind the bed pillows.  I would infer that the home owner is apt to jump up in the middle of the night with fantastic ideas that need to be written down.  Or dreams.  I don't think I have ever had a really great idea in the middle of the night, other than those dreams when your feet are heavy lead and you can't run away.  My most usual dream, as a young adult, was living in my family home (parents siblings) upside down.  Walking on the ceiling.  Analyze that.

Today started out freezing cold.  Then got a bit warmer.  Then warmer.   With each degree of warmth, I took off a layer of outerwear.  And then started putting them back on as it got closer to dusk.  October.

The guy I met at work is still bringing leaves by the truck load to me.  The pile has heated up nicely.  Warm and steamy (I can see it) as I dig.  G is now adding the leaves and grass clippings from our lawn (finally dry enough to cut) and that will get the pile's temperature up as well.  I love leaf mulch. I clipped back the false indigo stems and the peony stems and leaves are bagged for disposal.

I'm teaching a class on "getting the beds ready for winter" so I have to actually DO the work to prepare for the class before Saturday.

Last night, at dinner, G and I enjoyed the 4.0 earthquake that rumbled through the state.  A loudish rumbling (like a very big truck coming down towards us) and then a bit of rolling and bumping under us.  Much nicer than the jolt and slam of the other kind.  The dishes would have rattled in the cupboards if we had been home.  Wonder what Riley thought?

I have slipped away from my low carb diet--in the morning-- yesterday and today.  Hot oatmeal.  I even went so far as to purchase a new box of oatmeal.  Intending to continue eating oatmeal for breakfast thru the winter and also make and eat plenty of Monika's German Lentil Suppe.  These are two things I ate in quantity during the 1200 calorie diet.  Recipe coming when I make the first batch this winter. I was happy to find I did not get hungry at work and didn't experience a sugar spike.  Carbs are full of sugars.  Lunch was homemade chili with black beans and sour cream.  I'm not hungry at 5:30 so this is very good.

Time to take my shower and do a load of laundry.  Tomorrow is my VERY early day when I have to unlock the the store.  I may eat my oatmeal at work after opening the store.  That's my plan.

Dark Mornings

October is, so far, darker than usual.  And wet.  It is still raining.  Not hard and steady.  Drippy and steady.  Yesterday the temp rose to the low 70's and the mosquitoes returned to harass me while I closed up the tomato bed and added leaves to the rhododendron bed that faces the end of the driveway. It's the first of the backyard a person visiting sees.  It should be attractive.

I am having oatmeal for breakfast with a whisper of Splenda and a splash of cream.  I am so tired of eggs.  I am so tired of eating cold foods in the morning.  I want comfort.  I also had two little prunes. So something sweet and something hot and filling.  Not my diet.  Well, not my diet of the past 18 months.  Perhaps my diet of the next four months.  A return to the diet of 2007?  Not really.  I am barely eating right now and still not losing anything.  I am also not feeling the "love" anymore.  My rear end weight just isn't budging.  I am thinking all the fat (I eat) has decided to take up permanent residence in my butt. I don't think I am wrong.  With 1200 calories a day, my butt was down to skin covered bone.  Much better.

There has to be a way to combine what I know about subduing the urge to eat (low carb) and the way to lose weight (1200 calories a day) to finally reach a weight I can try to maintain for the next 30 years. My downfall (of the 1200 calories) was going to work at the greenhouse and eating fast food.  Plain truth here; I ate too much.

We bought a new vacuum.  Hard choice between the Roller Ball Animal (Dyson) for $600 and the on sale Hoover for $99.  The Joanne who was once the pampered wife of a corporate executive wanted the Animal.  The Joanne thinking about a husband retiring on Dec 23rd knew she had to lower her sights to the Hoover.  I wonder if these are the choices we will face for the remainder of our lives?  The Hoover did a commendable job.  G mentioned, only once, "imagine the job the Animal would have done".  I did imagine it.  And then put it out of my mind.

So, today is a, perhaps, temporary pivotal point in how the next few months goes.  I feel like I am standing at the fork in two roads.  Choosing which way to go.  So far, when I have chosen the untrod path I have been pleased.

I don't know if anyone still watches DWTS after the past few weeks of Bristol Palin.  This untalented Tea Party Queen is still not dancing and still sending others home.  The political leanings of ABC are very evident.  Sarah Palin is front row center each week.  The judges give the girl high marks for a miserable performance.  The overnight "votes" keep her on the show while better, much better, dancers go home.  It is sad.  I feel diminished by the thought of what this means. Students who can't spell or make change with high school diplomas or, better still, college diplomas.  Teachers who no longer try getting annual merit raises because of the union bargaining.  Police who blast past traffic with lights and sirens just to get past traffic or get to the pizza joint to eat lunch.  A society where mediocre is good enough.

This is not the America I know or love.

Today Would Have Been My Dad's 90th Birthday

Dad would have been so excited to have reached 90.  He was expecting to die at 49 when he had a massive coronary.  Everything after that would have been "extra" but he worked hard to stop drinking and smoking.  He exercised by going roller skating every week and sometimes twice.  My dad worked HARD on staying alive.  I just wish he had enjoyed it more.

But, perhaps he did enjoy his "extra" life and I just didn't get it.  He complained all the time that he had never had a vacation.  I felt like the extra 38 non-working years was a total vacation.  He was often angry with me and there were years when we didn't have any contact at all.  I  went to live with him when he came out of rehab after almost dying in 2004.  Six weeks out of my life.  We reconciled.  I was at his bedside when he was dying.

Dad loved to tinker away in his workshop in the basement.  Loved to cut the large lawn he had with the riding mower.  Liked growing vegetables and making pickles.  Loved his dogs.  Loved eating apple doughnuts with his morning coffee (4 or 5am) and playing poker on line late into the night.

My dad wasn't the best dad in the world. Never said he loved me. But I forgave him that and still loved him.  I just didn't like him.

A Good Work Day @ Home

Riley and I slept until almost 10 am this morning.  I was tired from a week of work and he was tired from getting a bath at doggie day care.

I finally had time to make the Atkins Breakfast Casserole.  10 eggs.  1/2 pound of cheese. Pint of heavy cream.  Pound of Jimmy Dean Sausage, browned with an onion and some green peppers.  It gets "layered" and then baked.  25 to 30 minutes at 350.  Mine baked for an hour and still wasn't firm enough for my tastes.  I ate some.  I think my oven is thinking about dying.  I left it on overnight a month ago--must have been too much.  Now, I turn around and drive back home to check that all the burners are off.  And get up in the middle of the night to see if the oven light is on.

While waiting for the casserole to bake, I washed the coffee machine, made coffee  and read blogs.  Then I had a small square of casserole with sautéed kale.  I give it a 5 out of 10.  It was better ice cold.  Maybe a 6.5.

Then Riley and I went outside.  To clean up some of the eight raised beds (4 feet by 16) and then haul the lovely chopped leaves a work customer is bringing to me (instead of the Town dump).  I planned to haul leaves in an empty 30 gallon garbage can.  I hope Santa brings me one with wheels this year.  Wheels would have made things easier.

I cleaned out the bean, corn and squash bed first.  Three cans of leaves.  Then the green pepper bed.  Three cans of leaves.  Then the zucchini and cucumber bed.  Three more cans of leaves.  Then I got my digging tool and removed all the strawberry plants and runners from the strawberry bed.  I had decided I am not a person who enjoys growing strawberries.  And what berries there were; the crows ate.  Or the chipmunks.  Three more cans of leaves.

I half cleaned the fifth bed.  Just the side where the eggplant and brandywine tomatoes had been.  The other side is still busy growing baby kale and tiny carrots.  I also cleaned the rhubarb portion of the sixth bed.  And covered both of those places with an additional two cans of leaves.

The leaf pile is already warming up (composting) so it was wonderful to see steam coming out of the leaf pile while I was digging. all three of my compost bins in the garden are full to overflowing.  The raspberries (fall bearing) had enough berries for Riley and I to share.  Then G arrived home from work and I came inside.  Riley is chewing his new bone.  I'm having a nice cup of coffee.  And I think a good hot shower and some Aleve would be just the ticket right now.  I tried NOT using my left arm for any of the garbage can lifting and dragging.  It already is hurt enough.  I really HAVE to work on building up my upper body strength.  Weight lifting like a guy.

It's now 5:20.

The Red Jacket

I was thinking, planning, watching for, a new Fall jacket.  Red.  Or Dark Blue.  And then I was walking past the large bag of clothing that I cut up and use in my work.  A red corduroy jacket.  JJill.  in a double XL.   It never fit right when I was fat.  What the hell.  I tried it on.  It looks great.  All wide wale cord and shorter in front and longer and with a gather in the back.  Just like the fashions of 2012. Real happy I never made anything that "needed" a slice of red corduroy.

I also wanted to buy an acid green top. A sweater.  And in the bag of "soon to be chopped up clothing" is a lime/yellow sweater.  It didn't fit then. Fits now.  And it almost the color I was wanting to wear with the new infinity scarf I bought at the Gap.

Two new outfits.  All I actually need as I never go anywhere but WORK.

I plan on going back to the bag to see if there's a new vacuum in there.  Ours burst into junk and a cloud of smoke.  Target has a Hoover on sale this week for $99.  As much as I want to spend on the secondary vacuum.

All the tender plants and houseplants are tucked into every nook and cranny in the sunroom and foyer.  We are having a hard frost tonight--into the 20's.  Baby it's cold outside.

What I Made At Art Club

The group was investigating image transfers.  They had gotten of list of about five of the easiest (simplest) techniques off YouTube and had a list of supplies (which they had or purchased for everyone to use) and even had copies of images to share.  That's what I like about this group.  They share and they dive right in.

The surface I worked on was a shared piece of watercolor paper.  The leaf was a shared photocopy.  (I had arrived directly from work and had nothing with me) The picture of shirts is from an artist show postcard.  The leaf was a gel medium transfer and the shirts a packing tape transfer.  The two items benefited from a days worth of drying before I wet them and rubbed the paper off.

My "art school" background slipped out.  I just had to gently suggest that several images could be stacked on top of each other; and they could even be applied to a textured or painted background.  I had made a bookmark with a wooden Pinochio image and added "landscaping" wings. Transparent images are begging to be layered.

Not that these women aren't artists.  Several had TWO pieces in the recent 10x10 and sold both.  From the conversation, I gathered that there are buyers who "collect" their work from year to year.  Now, that is very nice, indeed.  Next month, more transfers.  I'll bring the ones I have done on fabric.  I don't know if they realize you can transfer onto fabric, though one member wanted to transfer onto wood.

I arrived home at 8pm happy that I had attended Art Club and even more excited to find a large manila envelope and a magazine.  Thank you SO Much!!!!!!  I may have to renew my subscription.  There were so many articles and images that have me dizzy with ideas.  Quilting Arts/ Oct-Nov 2012.  My friend Deborah has an article inside which I need to read before working on my "Sweet" challenge.

I was up so early this morning to prep my pot roast for the crock pot.  Now the house is smelling so delicious and I have to peel potatoes and fix a vegetable.  Finally, a good dinner.

Breakfast Pepper

I think, this winter, I will be painting peppers each morning after breakfast.  There is something here, in this red pepper from my garden that is saying "hey, paint me".  I chopped the other half up for this morning's breakfast.

The next 12x12 challenge is "Sweet" and I have an idea already.  Magical to have an idea before the night before the deadline.  I will be continuing with my experiments on the backside of that black fabric.  Drawing on the surface with chalk and wax crayons.  Then I will be adding something borrowed and new to my "tool box" of surface design.  I am excited.  I don't know about you, but when something works on fabric, I always say "sweet" to express my delight.  Let's hope my ideas for this piece turn out to be "sweet".

I think I will also be making a very large experiment on the backside of the black fabric.  I have wanted, forever, to actually draw and paint on the fabric and then stitch.  I managed to paint my own fabric a few years ago and mostly use the painted fabric in my work now.  I gave away 80% of my commercial fabric collection.  I was trying to be like every other quilter I knew.  It wasn't who I am.  It never felt right.  My work was always a bit "off" as I struggled to use commercial prints.  Now, using painted and discharged recycled fabric, I feel more comfortable.  Now it's time to actually be who I am and start drawing on the fabric.  This what has always been "missing" in the design.  The drawn line.  The topstitching on or around the drawn line.  Perhaps I will enjoy the work now????

I found a few items of clothing that had been "missing" and, in fact, had been in a big pile on top of my sock basket.  A large hand woven basket full of socks.  I was looking for the other green smart wool sock and in doing so, uncovered the lovely, soft wide wale cord pants I had gotten from Goodwill.  JJill.  So dreamy.  And the pink hoodie.

I ventured into "stylish" yesterday to go grocery shopping.  Rolled leg jeans, red ballet flats, white shirt with tails hanging out under a navy knit top.  G was home already when Riley and I carried in the groceries.  He said I looked cute.  It's almost too chilly here in Maine for ankle baring rolled jeans.

My groceries included sausage for a breakfast casserole recipe, an on sale beef pot roast for tomorrow's dinner, a large box of baby kale for my breakfast omelets and sugar free canned peaches to eat with my yogurt.  The last of my friend's peaches grew grey and fuzzy and are now compost.  I could drive over there to get more but it's a scary drive on a badly paved and curvy road.  I even purchased potatoes for mashed potatoes alongside the pot roast.  I never made pot roast for my birthday this year.  I missed having it so I am going to remedy that.

Time to leave for work.  I have the last container of vegetable soup to take for lunch.  The dog is ready to go.  He's been "ringing" the bell on the back door with his nose for  the last few minutes.

Which Way To Go?

There are times, in my life, when I have no choice.  I must just go forward.  But, it seems, that right now, I have the space to make a few choices.  To be the commander of my decisions.  Heady stuff. Rather like having been stuck in heavy traffic and then having the road ahead open and clear of traffic.

Saturday I "chose" to spend the best part of the day with my daughter.  We went "shopping".  My daughter is an excellent and relentless shopper.  I wanted new jeans.  Skinnier jeans.  Ones I could roll up and have the ankle exposed.  Eddie Bauer had some, but S thought they were uninteresting.  Onward to the Gap.   Now, I admit here, that no matter what size I am, I have never actually fit into any Gap jeans I have tried on.

I found the Sexy Boyfriend Jeans that a coworker had worn to work last week.  And, because I was shopping with my daughter, I tried on many variations of the SB.  Many sizes. Many designs. All fit completely different.  So, readers, try on ALL the available pants.  I TRIED THEM ALL ON.  Time after time.  First for fit.  Then for comfort.  Then for style.  Then to walk around in.  Then to sit down in.  And IGNORE the size of the pants.  It doesn't matter.  When pants fit and look good--the size is meaningless.

I can say, with certainty, that the $80 SBJ that I "chose" fit me the best of any of the ones I tried.  I look forward to wearing them at every opportunity, rolled up or down.  And the menswear (soft as baby clothes) white button down shirt with long tails, which will be hanging out from under all my sweaters. I will also be wearing that as often as possible.  My new "uniform".

The two of us managed to fit in a lovely late lunch at Red Robin.  I got the Royal Red Robin burger wrapped in lettuce with cole slaw instead of the french fries.  Delicious.  We had both been wanting a really good burger.

Tomorrow is Art Club.  They will be making print transfers.  I like making print transfers. So I am "choosing" to go. I was thinking of taking some "show and tell" but Art Club doesn't do that.  So, I will take whatever I start working on today and finish it there.  Last time, my pen and paper journal was interesting for them to look at as I include lots of collage and drawing.  The other two artists were prepping canvas and an old wood cigar box for collage. Perhaps they will add a photo transfer tomorrow evening.

I am reading.  I am enjoying Elementary (the new Sherlock Holmes).  I am still not eating a proper dinner.  G is still weak but feeling just a bit better each day.  He won't eat the banana I bought for him. Or the crackers.  Or the applesauce.  He is able to eat and retain the chicken soup I made for him, but that, and yogurt and toast, is all he is eating.  So, no wonder he is weak.  I "choose" to no longer participate in his "illness".

Work is still slow.  The economy or whatever.  I hardly know anymore.  Too much time with nothing to do.  Not a good way to spend the work part of my days.  Looking forward to decorating the Christmas display trees.  Perhaps the twinkling lights will bring cheer and customers?

Right now, I need some breakfast.  Starving.  Then laundry.  Then something fun.

It's Raining. It's Pouring.

And I wish I could say I have carrots coming out of my garden.  Not.  But there is the "possibility" of future carrots in November.  Maybe.

G is sick again.  He has a few days of being relatively okay, able to walk around and seem normal, and then he quickly goes back to the couch and his moaning and complaining.  This time around, it was his own doing.  He didn't follow the BRAT diet and ate things which disturbed his stomach and intestines.  I am NOT sympathetic.  He is also NOT drinking enough water.  I hand him glasses of water.

I am exhausted.  Not from doing anything exhausting.  But from this endless merry go round of illness.

This morning I walked around the house spraying everything I think G may have touched, with bleach. Doorknobs, light switches, the toilets, sinks etc.  It is amazing that he hasn't contaminated me.  It must be because we don't eat any of the same foods or eat or drink from common dishes.

I put everything he touches into the dishwasher.  Or washing machine.  The bed sheets are in the washer right now.  With all the towels.  The whole house smells like bleach.  And the dog and I are leaving soon for doggie daycare and work.  Where we can rest.

Friend of Twelve ByTwelve - Maverick

This piece, rather oddly and incredibly, combines all the previous themes with the current theme.  I see Metamorphosis, Myth and Maps here as well as Maverick. I have struggled with the four themes of this 12 by 20 challenge this year.  But this piece went together easily, which means, in Joanne's world, that it was meant to be.  The pieces I struggle with are overworked, over analyzed and just not what I wanted.  The pieces that are truly what I wanted to make, come together in a matter of minutes. As if some "other hand" was using my hands and body to make them.  My mind is shut down.  I don't think while making the really good stuff.  Not saying this is really good stuff.  But I love it. Definitely One Of A Kind.  (smiling).  And I used the remains (or false starts) of the other 3 pieces to make this.

So it's called Alien X-Ray.  12 by 20.  Commercial prints, discharged cotton, chalk, wax pastels.  Machine appliqué and quilting.

Sunday Morning

Work was slow but warm (the heaters were turned on) and my class was smaller than usual but nice just the same.  A customer (an old friend from the days we mentored in the Middle School) stopped in for flowers and mentioned seeing my Carrots at the 10 by10.  She said they were "stunning" and so vibrant in color and texture.  I was speechless.  So many blessings coming from that 10 inch square of fabric and stitch.  They must have already been purchased by the time she saw them.  Now, I wish I had taken a second, non-blurry photograph of them.  I had settled down to thinking I would have the carrots back, unsold.  So this is all rather splendid in it's "surprise".

I never made it to the actual 10 by 10 reception on Friday (though I had been looking forward to it as a  rare social occasion).  I had spent the morning with G in the ER with G getting two bags of IV solution.  After taking him home, taking the dog to Doggie Day Care and then stopping at Walmart to drop off his prescription for an anti nausea medication, I went to work. After a long, cold, damp day: pick up the dog, drive to Walmart,  drive home in rain (new wipers doing a perfect job) and by then it was after 6:30 and the reception had started at 5.  Parking would be a problem and I was exhausted and had prep to do for my class.  So I missed it and was in bed by 10.

Monday (tomorrow) will be a busy day.  There is the reveal for the 12 by 20 Maverick block and I will be delivering the "new" Spooky House to the Town library for display for October.  I decided five years was long enough to hold a grudge for losing my job there.  And, my new job makes me much happier than that job did (at the end).

I am certainly making changes, aren't I?

My Master Gardener Friend & Classmate, Patty, dropped off a grocery bag of peaches off her tree.  I have been enjoying the sliced fresh peaches in my daily yogurt for lunch for the past two days.  So delicious.  And I have been taking the time to make myself a "frittata/omelet" each morning (packed and taken to work to eat there after I water) even though I have not been as good about preparing a good dinner for myself.  Usually it's a few big scoops of peanut butter.   The garden produced a small bagful of cucumbers (remember I wished I could have one more bowl of cucumber salad?), many green peppers and more spaghetti squash.  I collected the final few tomatoes.  I think I will make a pot of vegetable soup today.  The largest cabbage cracked open.  I should have pulled it a few days ago.  Too much going on and I forgot.  I think I can salvage some chunks of cabbage for soup.  The rest will go into the compost.

I made up two of my low carb "biscuits" so I will have something to eat today.  Perhaps with soup.  It's cold outside and raining so I am glad I did all that planting last weekend but wish I had actually gotten everything in the ground.  I still have a few sedum, a rose, a peony and some rue to plant before the ground freezes.  But not today.  Today I can make art and fire up the glue gun to do some minor repairs on my Spooky House.  And look for the Halloween Quilt.  And the tarantula I never remembered to sew onto the treat bag on the quilt.  And shirts to iron.

I think this week was my 7th Blog-o-versary.  Seven years.  Thank you for Reading!!!!

Happy Morning

An email this morning advised that my 10 by 10 Carrots had been SOLD.  What a delightful start to a cold, dark morning!!

Fantastic Halloween Costume

What would Vincent have thought of this?

Another day at work.  Not bad.  Pretty busy.  Not raining.  G is still not 100% from the "stomach flu" that he developed on Sunday.  I am making homemade chicken soup for his "first" actual meal which isn't toast or rice.  I did make applesauce but G thinks applesauce needs pork chops and mashed potatoes in order to be edible.  So, he didn't eat applesauce.  And he has refused since he was 6 years old to eat a banana. And that's the BRAT diet.  Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Toast.  G has lived on water, toast and rice.

I am also boiling two marrow bones for Riley.  His other bones are looking a bit worse for wear. Riley does love to "chew" his bones.  I know that most dog owners give the dog the raw bones to gnaw.  I think that is "icky" so I boil and then clean out all the "stuff" inside the bones or attached to the bones. I do leave the honeycomb interior of the bones.  Takes Riley about 2 to 3 hours to get the bones nice and clean, inside and out.  Then he falls asleep.  A good workout.  And very white and clean teeth.

I have shirts to iron.  A load of darks to wash.  Lots of television to watch tonight.  Person of Interest and Elementary.  And Big Bang and Project Runway.  Thursday is the BIG night for television.

I drove G's 2001 black Jeep Liberty to work today.  I was asked several times about "my sweet new ride".  I don't think of an eleven year old Jeep as a "sweet ride".  I t does only have 72,000 miles on it and it is very shiny and waxed but, I guess, in comparison to the orange Honda Fit--it is much sweeter. that Honda Fit is getting inspected, oiled, rotated and washed in Portland as I type.  G offered to drive it down there for it's "annual" visit.  They are changing the wipers but refusing to refund my money.  And the tech said they wouldn't recommend the "winter blades" for that car in the future.  See, they were terrible.  Yes, they were on the car for an entire season--I didn't know how to take them off--an entire season (winter icing, snow, rain etc and I couldn't see anything but smeared window at eye level--I had to duck down and look out the window shield at steering wheel level) and I DO NOT drive to Portland.  Never have and never will.  My next car is going to be purchased IN my Town.  And serviced IN my Town.  If I ever get bad wipers again--they will be removed the same day.  And I will get my money back.

Years ago I gave the Portland BMW dealer bad reviews for service because they never washed the car when it was serviced ($345 oil changes) and eventually the dealership refused to make service appointments for my car.  I had to call BMW USA, complain and ask BMW USA to call and get me an appointment.  Boy, I thought they were mad before--now they were ballistic.  And they still didn't wash the car.  Honda washes my car every single time.  Jeep washes G's car.  BMW?  Not a chance.

In case you are wondering-- the service of the car at BMW (at all times) was impeccable.  I never had any complaints about that.  I take that car to someone else now that the warranty has expired.  Always nicely washed when we pick it up, about 45 minutes drive north of my Town.

Rough Start

I accidentally removed my blog list from the right side of this page and then had to try and remember what blogs I read and go looking for their URLs.  Now, because of "new" blogger the blogs are in a thin strip along the side.  I can see if they have updated recently and their post titles.  I guess this will keep me from checking them and finding the same post?  The stress of having to figure out how to recreate the list has possibly fire up some of the neutrons in my brain. Some of the ones I haven't used in a great long time.

Work yesterday was duller than watching paint dry.  I can see why people stop in to ask if we are closed.  I managed to get a $6.50 tip for doing just about nothing.  I divided a begonia into three pots.  It came to $3.50.  The customer said that was ridiculous and later the cashier appeared with the change from the customer's ten dollar bill.  Now, the hours of work I put into another customer's custom wedding containers--- that equalled nothing.  Not even a thank you.  I also got a pint of fresh rendered lard for the horseradish root I gave to a customer.  (?)  I'm wondering if the tip is not even related to the work?  What is it related to?

I watched Wallander last night.  Despite having read all the books--I was mystified regarding this episode.  Could not figure it out.  What a mess.  G wanted to watch the Patriots.

I don't think I got much sleep last night.  It all seemed very choppy.  But then perhaps I was dreaming I was awake????  Made a very nice frittata (I think) for breakfast with the same ingredients from yesterday only this time I flipped the browned cake of eggs over and then slid it back in the pan to brown on the other side.  Then let it come to room temp.  THIS is how I enjoy eating the eggs.  At room temp.  I also cooked the egg, sausage, onion, kale, peppers and cheese mixture with the lid on the pan which made it all "puffy". I think, technically, this is supposed to be top browned in the oven.  I am not turning on the oven.  I am back to eating Egg Beaters.

I plan to get dressed and visit the bank, library and Target.  I want to buy striped Halloween costume socks to wear to work.  I want orange and black stripes and black and white stripes.  Then I'll roll the cuffs of my pants to show off my stripes.  I also have to do some work getting ready to teach the Compost class this Saturday.  I love compost.

G just came home from work.  Sick to his stomach.  Just like yesterday.  I wonder if it's a reaction to the flu shot he got on Thursday.   He's in bed.  Miserable.  I don't have anything to give him.  My own tummy has felt queasy the last two days.  Wonder what it is????

It Took Awhile But Now I Know What's Wrong

My birthday was last Monday.  Tuesday is K's birthday.  We would have known each other forty years, forty one in March 2013.  But.

Last spring K decided to email me to let me know she no longer wanted us to be friends.  She felt I was getting a bit too "snippy" in my comments on her family.  It was okay for her to complain about them but I guess I was only supposed to listen, not make comments.  K said that she never made "helpful suggestions" when I complained about my family.  Which was true.

I think, now, that her lack of interest in my family problems or my own problems was more a total lack of interest in anything but her own life.

When we shared interests ; like quilting or shopping, we got along just great.  I remember laughing with her most of all.  And that is what I miss.  Laughing and having such a comfortable relationship that we could just sit around the burn pile at her house and not even have to talk.

I visited her.  She came to my home only four times that I can remember when we lived in different states (and countries).  She always had a long list of chores for us to do together.  Burn pile, cutting out quilt pieces, sewing quilt pieces, pruning shrubs, visiting quilt shops, cooking dinner, attending her grandchildren's birthday parties.  I enjoyed helping her.  We had a good time together.

Tomorrow will be the second September birthday we won't be sharing.  And in a few months the second Christmas I don't send her a specially handmade card.  For her collection of handmade cards from me.

There are times, like this, when missing her friendship is like an open wound.  How many people do we have in our lives who have known us, so well, for so long?  I was 25 when we met.  She was 20.
We raised our kids together.  She went through three marriages and three divorces.  We purchased our first homes.  Our lives are, were, totally imbedded with the other.

Now that is gone.  I had thought, hoped in my heart, that after a year of no communication she would miss me as much as I have missed her.  And email that we should be friends again.  She didn't.  We aren't.  And I am grieving.

And that's what was wrong when I wrote that last post--except I didn't KNOW that that was what was wrong.  I had to work it out.  Thank you for putting up with me regarding this emotional "habit.  Now, when I feel like crying--I will know why.  And that's the best I can do.

Habit

I woke up this morning--and in truth was thinking these thoughts before bed last night-- that I was sad. I haven't had much communication with commenters lately (well, for months) and since I don't have any more friends who like to talk about what interests me, they prefer we talk about them or personality free topics, so I am sort of left to live inside my head.  Not a good position.

If left to this "inside my head" living,  I will slowly be moving away from a healthy way of thinking to depression.  And, for me, that involves lots and lots of sleeping.  Like all day and all night.  I'm not in danger of that yet.  Winter.  Not working.  That's when it will happen if I allow it.

Reading blogs hasn't helped.  I keep looking but can't find any that I connect with.  Am I that different from everyone else?  Shouldn't I be able to find people with interests like mine who might just try and be supportive of me?  Perhaps I just don't know how to communicate?

I'm also a bit hungry.  Not much dinner last night and now it's almost noon and I still haven't had any coffee or breakfast.  I have the frying pan going with any vegetable I found on the counter, bacon fat and an onion.  I plan to make bacon and fry the last three eggs.  That should do it for breakfast.  I didn't buy anymore eggs.  Real eggs.  They just aren't doing it for me.  Eggs still taste better if someone else cooks them for me.

It rained overnight or early this morning.  Fall seems colder than usual.  I have garden chores to do.  things I have neglected to plant.  There always seemed to be time ahead, all summer, and now the end is rushing forward much too quickly.  The garden is finished. Or pretty much finished.  Still some beans and the spaghetti squash.  The rest needs to be piled in the compost.

I have the Summer 12 by 12 to make.  I have the bed sheets to wash. The shirts to iron.  The dog. I have plenty to do.  I just miss being able to communicate all this with someone.  Someone who talks back, makes suggestions etc.  Someone who cares about me.

Self pity party.  OMG.

The bacon fat fried vegetables are amazingly good.  The egg yolks got overcooked, but it's still a good breakfast.  And the coffee is nice.

I guess I just need to pull up my big girl panties and get on with the life that I have. Work on my To Do List.  Get through the day.  It's not like someone is going to knock on the front door and say "need a friend?" or anything.