Winter Notes- with twenty minutes to spare- Sunday, November 26th.

 Hey... no picture as it's nearly midnight (or 11pm) I forgot to post..  I am watching the last few minutes of the new Hallmark Movie about an old movie being filmed at the Asheville  Mansion.  

We had Football Pizza and watched, I think three football games? (perhaps four)- and the Open Wheel Race this morning (recorded). My son keeps me busy on Sunday... we made the pizza together. Next Sunday we will change up the toppings.....sausage? mushrooms?  who knows.

 Monday is when we do errands.  Bills, Library, and Grocery Store....just like when G was here with me. I think he does this so I have something that feels the same...like normal. Monday night we put out the recycling and garbage.  And the packing boxes and packing paper.  Another normal thing.

I am trying to make a list for tomorrow so we don't forget things at the grocery store.  

I haven't been alone in almost 55 years and he has been alone since college..  So...it's very different for both of us. We give each other "space"... but come together to eat meals and cook and unpack boxes.

I need to start working on the list of Widow things to do.  It's a long list of things I am finding to be very very difficult.  Because I am not used to doing things.....I used to be very used to doing things...and then it all stopped when I stopped working and just lived inside this house and inside my head.  Not the healthiest way to grow old....

So, I feel very timid about doing things- afraid I will make mistakes. And I do make mistakes.

So..this is my Life right now....some days..it's too hard...other days, I am just fine. I am guessing this is the "process" of grieving. Of learning how to be alone. Even with people all around.

One of the blogs I read (Bee Creative??), had the origami style folded stars I made years ago......I need to find the instructions so I can make them..son is very good at origami folding.  He will help. Last time, I had to find printed instruction and each star---well, it didn't go well but in the end I had seven of them...made with yellow paper so they looked very nice on the Christmas tree.  The blog has video instructions and that isn't going to work for me...but perhaps I wrote down the video instructions last time?

Anyway, it's late and I need to go to bed....I'm tired. It's been a very long day. It's been a very long month.