Perhaps what my son is having for Lunch today....He leaves and drives away to somewhere and has lunch- a couple times a week. It's what I think he did in Silicon Valley. And "feels" normal. And that's good---he needs to find a new normal in a strange new place.....
He unpacked three boxes. This morning. His dishes. Glassware. I made places for them to go. In the cupboards.....we also have more for Goodwill. His and my stuff going to Goodwill.
I feel normal sitting on the couch with cough drops, hot tea and a book. I have a cough....Productive. Which I think is a "good thing". I am getting a very good night's sleep.. every night. I was not getting much sleep "before". So this is recuperative sleep. I am still not eating regular meals....I did have a pear yesterday and it was delicious. I enjoyed eating it. Later I had a bowl of homemade vegetable soup.
Social Security wrote me a letter. Now I know how much I will be getting next month. How much I owe them for last month. Which they took out of next month. We still might need to make a phone call. I just have no clue regarding the month after all this..
My husband has five watches in the top dresser drawer.....what do I do with them?? He also had a wooden box filled with pens that didn't work...one was Mont Blanc... possible mine? It needs a refill.
So that is how randomly things are being processed here.... I think it's fairly normal....the way it's going. confusing, disorienting, emotional, exhausting........well, I need a hot sweet cup of tea and my book. Until tomorrow.....Joanne.
3 comments:
I can tell you what I did after my husband died. Within the first month I gave away all of his clothes, etc. except for a work shirt and pair of work khaki pants. Why I kept those I don't really know except those two things seemed special at the time. They were what he wore when working outside or around the house.
There wasn't much else he had. He was a computer guy, no hobbies, a huge stack of New Yorker magazines, boxes of old grad school stuff, That was about it.
It was strange to realize after he was gone how little of him was in our house. If I'd been the one who was gone there would have been nothing but "ME" left. I have hobbies out the wazoo, pictures on the wall were mostly picked out by me, decor of house was me.
My daughter and sorted through his tools and she took some home with her for her husband and her brother. The rest we took to Habitat for Humanity or a local thrift store, not Goodwill.
I did all the Social Security, pension stuff myself, got all the death certificates, sat at the computer and just did it. The instructions online were pretty clear so I don't remember it being difficult...just very sad.
Love to you Joanne
Daughter went thru his closet and took what she NEEDED...His tee shirts with Donald Duck (a collection of them) to sleep in and river driver thermals from LL Bean.....I can ask if anyone wants his pants.....but they will be fine at Goodwill. Or I can drop his clothes at the Men's Shelter in Town....for men with substance abuse problems. Warm, clean clothing. Underwear. socks. I did that once before- used zip bags and added a tee, briefs, socks, shampoo, deodorant and razor and soap. Dropped them off.
that sounds doable. Husband traveled and always brought home the hotel stuff...so I had a lot. son and I talked about G at dinner. why he said no to eating there at the end- the last week or more. refused any food- would take only water.
We hadn't done anything with social security so the letter surprised both of us. I guess they wrote because he died AFTER the payments had gone to our account. and wanted the money back. I could have removed it or spent it.. I had not..
Did you get to keep your SS and his?
I did my phone call social security yesterday. My husband passed away October 12 so I am getting his social security for september as the payments are a month behind. You get the one time payment of $255 if you were married and living together at the time of death.
They send you a form to fill out. My social security was higher so I get to keep mine and they added $33 from my husband.
Like Susan said it is all pretty easy just takes time to get it all done.
Beverly
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