I doubt...going forward..I will ever be the Joanne who posted on this blog last week. I am in such a different PLACE now and it seems...when I get comfortable with changes- that FATE decides to throw more shit my way. I really just want to go back to bed and cover my head with my comforter and stay there..forever.
I am guessing that I am depressed? Actually...I am angry. Really really angry. Because I am unable to fix any of this.......and now the washing machine. Sigh. Too Much. And I did look forward to the Time doing wash..and writing in the Washing Machine Pages notebooks. A therapy of sorts.
But Fate has decided to take that from me...like everything else.
I have a few more days of clean underwear before I have to decide how to move forward. I am guessing I will be traveling to the nearest place with Washing Machines and the need for pockets full of quarters to feed into the machines...... until I decide what to do with the old machine. If I want a new one.....doors in the bathroom will need to be removed- the toilet will need to be removed (and then replaced)- because that is how they got the machine into the small space it occupies....without the toilet being there....
And who will do this work? The guys who did the work before are all gone....and finding people to do things in Maine- is not easy.
I really can't deal with it.......I might just sign myself into one of the Senior Living Places........ It's just a very very bad place that I am in right now.......Wednesday, my Lunch Buddy is taking me to the DMV to get my Driver's License Renewed. So I can drive ...... places. I haven't driven the car since August. Last August.
I am tempted to try and get the old machine to do a load of wash.....but what if the water runs out into the bedroom and ruins the hardwood floors????? My son isn't coming to Maine. My daughter is too busy working. It's just me..And I am so so tired......and now the washing machine......the last straw as they say. But then husband did something to the ice maker.... and I had to figure that out. Ice all over the floor.
Like I wrote- it's all too much..... and I am tired. Even watching TV has become a problem. Everything is breaking down. Falling apart. Not working. Needs repairs. Overflows... Has flashing lights. Needs to be re-booted over and over again. I am so tired......and my oatmeal has just beeped.....well, the microwave. Wednesday. Renewing Driver's License. Then the car needs a tuneup and a new battery. And the Laundry. And whatever is wrong with the tv. I have five books... I can always READ.
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