I watched Arrival yesterday. I actually saw it in a movie theater years ago- I went by myself. I would have stayed to see it again when the film came to the end...... there is just something about it........but I felt like I had to get home.....I wish I had stayed. I now have it recorded in the TiVo.
After that movie ....came an Avenger's movie. Where they failed and just went home to be regular people. What they did to Helmsworthy was stunningly odd. Beer belly and old woman boobs and long greasy hair. Even when dressed in his space suit- still fat. I liked the new Hulk. He wasn't green. Wore glasses. I watched until I got bored. Which wasn't all that long.
I am bored. Of each day. Of each week. Of each month.... Of each Year. I've been bored ever since I stopped working. I am annoyed with every task I have here at the house. Every Task.
My days, my weeks, my months are all the same......all boring. I have chores to do but...I can't make myself be interested enough to begin. I know once I begin- I will get into the job and eager to finish it. But I can't make myself start....I do make an effort to wash clothes. The Washing Machine Pages help.
I did find a broom and swiped a web off the the living room ceiling.
I'm reading a book... I never would have thought I would read.....it's about a women's church group. Instead of a cookbook (the neighboring BIG church is writing one) they decided to do an A is for........ about love and romance. It's actually more about attraction, kindness and love. It's not all churchy.....and there are big things being tackled. Dementia is one thing. Abuse is another. Drug/alcohol addiction is another. And as people start writing things down..it changes them. Makes them more open and kind to each other. Open. Opening ourselves to new ideas and possibilities. Last Circle of Love. Lorna Landvik
So a Movie. A Book Report. An Admission of being sad and bored. I might return to Will Trent even though the motorcycle gang story put me off. I returned that book. Unfinished.
U is for Unfinished. Feeling that way about myself. Or Incomplete. That might be a better word.
Ennui. That's the feeling, I think.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes I thing that word sums it up diane.
ReplyDeleteI had a doll collection back in the day. I had a Robert Tonner doll whose name was Ennui. :-)
ReplyDelete