Daily Notes- May 4th- A Very Dark Tuesday No Sunshine

 A photo of a Zen Garden.  Raked gravel.  This needs to be done each day.  Raking the gravel.

There was a Time in my Life.  A Bad Summer.  People- friends had died suddenly-  and I was drifting out to Sea without a paddle or a sail on my boat.

I walked.  A couple miles each day.  I gardened.  My gardens never have looked as perfect again. I was alone most of the Time as husband was gone.  Working...elsewhere.  On the road. Earning money to pay the bills.

I guess it all could have been..pretty bad.  But it wasn't.  I gardened. I walked.  I shoveled snow.  I was younger then. And I learned I could live alone and be okay.  Not a lesson that leads to a happy marriage going forward.  Just saying......

This photo reminds me of that Time. I know a few friends out there will say it says "control" not "happiness"... but being in control of one's Life is a very powerful feeling.  When it happens for the very first Time.  I was happy being alone...not miserable.  

My gardens weren't Zen but the feelings I got working in them and looking at them...were.  My little old crab tree was seriously pruned during that Time period and...still looks very Zen.  I never got to make moss gardens with rocks.  But I had rocks.  And moss was growing around them.  It was enough.

Today...I have a list of things to do.  I have already eaten two breakfasts.  I need to turn on lights. It's almost noon here in Maine.  And it's dark and feels colder than 55 degrees. Like a day of mourning.