Daily Notes- October Eleven

A Wishing Star from Jude Hill's classes online.  Not sure, yet, what colors of thread to use in the star points.  Jude always uses black and white.  The blues were hand painted years ago.  With watery acrylic craft paint.  Washed.  Soft and faded looking.  The beiges are pieces from the boiling water/steam pot.  Acorns I think.  The lower left tiny square from Deb Lacativa's dye deck.  The pink is commercial.  Store cloth.  Hand sewn while Riley and I watched Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

I find myself passing over the "store cloth" these days.  Unless it's been in the sumac or acorn dye pot.  Aging.  The Sumac is the most dependable.  G has collected more for me.  I have it ready whenever I get around to starting the kettles and the processes.  I think I am waiting for black walnuts. But they might not arrive.  So- Plan B.  The Purple Smoke leaves are getting nice and dark. I like them.  Daughter has promised to collect some of the larger ones if she sees them when doing Fall Cleanup on job sites.  And there are the over ripe grapes to collect.  Make one more set of cloths in degrees of grape-ness.  Use lighter cotton.  From my bolt.  Which is dwindling.

I said I was going to dye cloth a few weeks or months ago.  I never did.

There is a dullness to me.  Deep inside.  A sadness I cannot push through.  Perhaps I am feeling the closeness of my expiration date?  Perhaps I wonder what I accomplished in this Life.  Did I waste it.
I want to "make" but everything I touch goes wrong.  Or...not wrong but not what I thought I was making.  Or perhaps I am not planning well enough.  Making good decisions.  We say that to our children.  Make good decisions.  I am not making good decisions.

G has a raw itchy blotchy rash on his neck this morning.  Didn't have it when he went to sleep last night- he says.  I have sprayed it with anti-itch and given him a Benadryl.

The dog looks forward to his hemp oil treats.  He sleeps. Deeply.  Relaxed.  Asks for them and it's only day three.

I have dirty clothing to wash.  In the breaking down washer that can discharge water all over the floors at any Time.  I could go to the laundromat with my dirty clothing, my quarters and my Wishing Star.  I didn't sleep well.  My feet were very very cold.  I had to get up and put on wool socks.  The house and bedroom were not cold.  I was cold.  Very very cold.