G leaves a very "light" footprint in the kitchen. His juice glass, his cereal bowl and the yogurt cup in the recycle bucket. All rinsed and tidy.
I create a pile of mess. Carrot peels from the prep of my salad for lunch at work. My unrinsed coffee cup, my bowl and the pan in which I fried my sausage, egg, onion, mushroom and cheese omelet. The pile in the sink was mentioned in the pre dinner conversation, but not the clean surface of the stove or the fact that ALL the huge heap of plastic storage containers had been put away.
G prides himself on using one bowl or pan and one mixing spoon when cooking. Let me say here, he rarely, if ever, cooks anymore. He calls and then picks up take out. I taught him how to make two complete, simple, dinners. And it was always a treat to come home and find he had made one or the other. But that was long ago, in another lifetime. Even if he could remember either menu, I can't eat either of them now, so why even consider him making anything?
I won't even get into the teeth clenching resentment I feel when he hands me the rice container when we have Chinese. How long have I shunned sugar, wheat and rice? SIX MONTHS.
Ah, well. We don't have one of those "soul mate" marriages.
I am going out for lunch today. Pretty happy about it. A friend from my library days. She retired last spring and moved back to Canada (she was born there) to 'house sit" a very rural homestead. While she deeply enjoyed having a big garden and a lovely home for the spring and summer, the thought of a long dark winter, alone up there was too much. So, she is back. Re-patriated. In fact, she moved into her rented apartment on Wednesday (in the rain). We are both eager to reconnect. Discuss books and life in general. I had missed having someone to "lunch" with.
Before my lunch date, I need to walk the dog. Riley is concerned I will disregard his needs and desires. I feel burdened by the "needs and desires" of others right now. I feel burdened by the "needs and desires" of myself. Wouldn't it be nice to just walk away? But, as my returning friend has shown me, sometimes we have to come back because "away" wasn't what we wanted, either.
We don't have a "soul mate" marriage either. I said this morning that I pulled some sausage from the freezer to thaw for biscuits and gravy for tomorrow's breakfast. He sits down to breakfast this morning and asks where is the b&g? That is what he heard was just b&g and not that it was frozen or that it is for tomorrow.
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