Yesterday was very very nice- I almost set the stove on fire by walking out to speak to my Gardener while the sugar butter and booze was cooking on the stove (son walked past and saved us). I hardly cook anymore so...not that much to worry about. I even shocked myself. That was the first time I ever walked away from something cooking on the stove top. First Time. and hopefully the LAST TIME.
Gardener and I are adjusting the Blue Billow Hydrangea. I recall this happening....alot. Planting things and then seeing how they look the next day and deciding you must have had a brain fart when you were planting them. I recall the same happening when I moved furniture or purchased new clothing. Brain Farts all around.
My birthday was very nice. The Kahlua Bundt Cake was/is quite a delight.
So..now I am older.
I started today with a nice long hot shower........
Just finished having a long chat with my son. Living with "other people" after living alone is not easy. It can be very frustrating........we both have different issues. We talked them out. I am still in a dangerous place having been the caretaker of a dementia patient. I am not always making good decisions. I am not always explaining myself well. Using my words. I get emotional. I am often in need of just sitting and reading an entire book...and then turning to page one and reading it again......... like a tranquilizer.
So...my last day of one TERRIBLE year in my Life and the first day of the next year of my Life. That's yesterday and today.......... I am trying to be positive about this new year. Not cry as much.
Not working so far.......I now have THREE Landscapers in my yard discussing my center island bed. The Hydrangeas have all been removed........a new plan was needed. My Life and the Hydrangeas. In Flux.
I'm not very good at "talking things out." I get flustered and can't think straight. So I have started writing things down and then I go over them with the person I'm trying to talk to or work things out with. It sounds kind of cold but it keeps me from being overly emotional and losing track of what I want to say. I have also written a letter for the other person to read and then we talk about it. Things seem to stay calmer and we can talk without getting upset, angry, etc... Maybe this might work for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd Happy Belated Birthday. I didn't forget. The internet is back to being in and out and yesterday was an out day.
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ReplyDeletehmmm, daughter and I had several long chats trying to get our two acts together. It ended when she told me I needed therapy and I said I'd had therapy several times over the years. I said I'd be happy to go with her to a joint therapy so we could work on our relationship together. She said she had been working on herself for the last 6 years. We agreed mutually that living together was not working well for either of us, I moved back to the Pacific Northwest and she, I believe is in Beaverton, OR now. I'm not sure because she hasn't responded to any of the 3 texts I've sent since I moved in Feb. I'm not sending any more of them. I haven't had any night terrors since I moved away, that tells me something. The stress was greater than I realized.
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