Thursday, May 09, 2024

Spring Notes on Another Wet, Overcast, Chilly Day here in Maine. 50 degrees.


 Things we should avoid eating as we get older.  Processed Food.  Notice two of my favorites- cheese slices and hot dogs.  Sigh.  (I just now realized the oatmeal looking thing is dry noodles you add hot water to.  Ramen????  I haven't bought either the cheese or the hotdogs in weeks now.  I still have Cheetos. Seems like weeks but Son will read this and tell me it's been one week.  Or not even that.

Tomorrow is Library/Grocery Day.  I need to work on the list.

The TruGreen Guy showed up mid afternoon yesterday and the weather report was for rain...so he did fertilizer and NO weed killer and as he drove away.....the rain started falling - gently....so my lawn got fertilized.  It looks nice and green this morning after a full night of rain.  I haven't seen the Tree Men since that one guy hauled logs off somewhere.  And made it possible for the TruGreen Guy to fertilize.

I don't think they do tree work when it rains....

I unpacked a box....of older clothing- Summer/spring stuff.  One beige linen shirt fits.  Another few items might fit. I don't know WHEN the stuff did fit.  I "optimistically" folded them into the closet.

I unpacked a few things in the sewing room...found two very very beautiful quilts our quilt group made. A Round Robin.  The group returned the one I had hand appliquéd  a multitude of leaves to..... returned it to me after the actual owner had died and the family gave it back to the Quilt Group.  Bev.   I sat with the quilt and cried.  The other quilt was the one belonging to me.  It was lovely to see them both...run my fingers over the fabric and stitches.  Remember people who aren't with us anymore.  I know two are still alive.  One is missing.  Two have died.  I'm still alive.  That's six.

I am drifting.....floating.   I find it hard to concentrate on something for any length of time.  I repeat myself.  I double check things....I know it's mental fatigue....the motor in my head is running all the time and it gets tired of doing that......I am second guessing myself.  All the Time.  I woke up way too early. I wasn't able to fall back into sleep.  This is either a positive step or it's something to worry about.

I haven't a clue what improvement will look like.  Caregiving took a significant toll.  I am seeing the damage only now.  Feeling the damage.  Living with the damage. Sitting and looking at nothing.

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